(04-13-2019, 03:46 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks Shannon. Thing is, I’m not entirely sure what I’m dealing with. She does have a degenerative brain disease (MS), on the other hand, she also acted like this for years before she was diagnosed. In fact she used to be a lot worse than she is now. We noticed a marked improvement when she went on anti depressants a couple years ago, which tells me that the brain disorder is at least a large part of the problem.
Not really. It tells you that is a possible part of the problem. It is a common misconception that antidepressants "cure" depression, but they really don't. They force a physical change in the brain chemistry, which results in a change of the symptom (depression), but not the cause of the depression in most cases. I believe that the real cause of most depression these days is faulty thinking and beliefs that lead to a conclusion that "it's hopeless" or "it's impossible". Drugs just act as a kludge that makes someone money forever by adjusting things forcibly for as long as they're used. In many cases, I suspect that changing the thinking and beliefs will do far more for permanently correcting depression than any pill. You may note that even "experts" don't really know how or why antidepressants work, or even have certainty which to use or what dose. It's like playing antidepressant roulette. They really don't know what the antidepressant is going to do, or if it will do anything helpful at all. That's a big part of why I believe that it is beliefs and habitual negative thinking that are the real cause of most depression, and that the depression is just a symptom of those faulty and negative beliefs and thinking habits.
Quote:I noticed another marked improvement when I went on LTU. Incidents like that one are now the exception not the rule, I think that was the only one that’s happened since I started this program so it stood out a bit more. That’s why I gave it so much emphasis I think.
Truth be told, I’ve allowed myself to be treated like that all my life so she’s used to getting away with it. That, like every other circumstance in my life is my own doing, and my responsibility to change.
Is one of the attributes of that “type 8” personalitys an absolute need to win every conflict every time?
If her beliefs are the primary problem, or habitual negative thinking, or habituated coping through attacking you or treating you that way is the real cause, then LTU5 should make a HUGE difference in how much and whether or not she acts like that.
"Type 8" personalities are extremely polar. They typically need to win all conflicts and all challenges, and they will seek to do so even to their own detriment, up to and including self destruction in many cases. For example, I know a woman like this who "plays" very roughly. If she happens to hit you while playing and hurts you doing it, and you return the favor, she will get pissed off that you dared to hit her and hit you back significantly harder trying to "teach you a lesson". It will escalate until she is unconscious or dead, because in her mind, she did nothing wrong and you dared to hit her, and she cannot comprehend anything else.
I know a guy who has this personality. He was here on vacation from England, and one night he got drunk and decided to drive anyway. When he got pulled over, he became angry at the cop for daring to pull him over, and he hit the cop so hard in the face that he knocked him out. Realizing what he had done, he immediately made for the Canadian border, and then from Canada, flew home to England to avoid facing the consequences. Now he can never come back to the USA, but still believes that it was the cop's fault.
Not all examples of a "Type 8" are this extreme, some people have this aspect to their personality but it is not necessarily dominant, or dominant all the time. But yes, to make a long story short, Type 8 is extremely polar, extremely irrational and potentially (frequently) violent, physically, emotionally and/or mentally. They cannot handle being in a conflict they don't dominate or "win" and they can be unlimitedly cruel, selfish, violent and conniving when trying to "win", especially when they believe they are being wronged - which is almost always whenever someone has been wronged. They are the type who can betray you, stab you in the back, and then call 911 and report that you did to them what they did to you. They are consummate liars and self deceivers, lovers of power and control, and love to manipulate others and the legal system to their advantage thereby. I know one who is a bail bonds-woman who once threatened very seriously to kill me unless I did something she wanted. When I pointed out that that was illegal to even say, she laughed and said, "I'm a poor helpless woman. I'm small and you're a big bad man. I also know all the police and lawyers and judges. Who do you think they're going to believe? And regardless, I know how to work the system, so it wouldn't matter anyway." Mind you, this "poor helpless woman" may have been 5'0" tall, but part of her job as bail bonds woman was to hunt down and drag fugitives to justice, which she commonly talked about doing alone, and frequently...
I later realized she was out of her mind because of hormones when she threatened me, but the point remains.
I hope for your sake that your girlfriend isn't a pure Type 8.
