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(04-17-2019, 10:39 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 04:01 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 02:39 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]A couple of things happened tonight. First, I had been thinking of trying intermittent fasting for a while now. Tonight, it was just the time to start. I didn’t plan on it when I went to work, it just hit me before I ate anything that that’s what I should do. So far I actually feel really good, and I won’t take any calories until dinner tomorrow making 24 hours. That seems to be how this one works. A change I want to make kind of percolates for a while and then it just becomes time. Then it seems like the most natural thing in the world.
Let us know how your intermittent fasting went. I do it too. It gets tricky when it`s lunch or dinner time because your body is so use to eating at that time, but if you persist the cravings go away.
Yeaterday went amazingly well. I fasted through my shift, went to bed, and fasted through to dinner for 24 hours. Thing is, I didn’t even feel it. I felt the remotest hunger pangs a couple of times, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I felt energized when I got up, and got a whole bunch of yard work done. No lethargy, no bad mood, none of the bad things I’d expect. It was kind of weird. I felt MORE energy and mental clarity than I usually do which is definitely not the case when I just forget to eat or don’t have time.
I found it a little hard to believe it was doing any good just because I didn’t feel anything.
Awesome, glad it went well! That's more less what I feel as well when I do it. Sometimes the 24 hour fast goes like a breeze, sometimes it`s more difficult. But definitely worth it. I just feel lighter that day somehow.
(04-18-2019, 12:27 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 10:39 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 04:01 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 02:39 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]A couple of things happened tonight. First, I had been thinking of trying intermittent fasting for a while now. Tonight, it was just the time to start. I didn’t plan on it when I went to work, it just hit me before I ate anything that that’s what I should do. So far I actually feel really good, and I won’t take any calories until dinner tomorrow making 24 hours. That seems to be how this one works. A change I want to make kind of percolates for a while and then it just becomes time. Then it seems like the most natural thing in the world.
Let us know how your intermittent fasting went. I do it too. It gets tricky when it`s lunch or dinner time because your body is so use to eating at that time, but if you persist the cravings go away.
Yeaterday went amazingly well. I fasted through my shift, went to bed, and fasted through to dinner for 24 hours. Thing is, I didn’t even feel it. I felt the remotest hunger pangs a couple of times, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I felt energized when I got up, and got a whole bunch of yard work done. No lethargy, no bad mood, none of the bad things I’d expect. It was kind of weird. I felt MORE energy and mental clarity than I usually do which is definitely not the case when I just forget to eat or don’t have time.
I found it a little hard to believe it was doing any good just because I didn’t feel anything.
Awesome, glad it went well! That's more less what I feel as well when I do it. Sometimes the 24 hour fast goes like a breeze, sometimes it`s more difficult. But definitely worth it. I just feel lighter that day somehow.
Cool, how long have you been doing it, and have you seen any changes to your body yet?
(04-18-2019, 11:35 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (04-18-2019, 12:27 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 10:39 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 04:01 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2019, 02:39 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]A couple of things happened tonight. First, I had been thinking of trying intermittent fasting for a while now. Tonight, it was just the time to start. I didn’t plan on it when I went to work, it just hit me before I ate anything that that’s what I should do. So far I actually feel really good, and I won’t take any calories until dinner tomorrow making 24 hours. That seems to be how this one works. A change I want to make kind of percolates for a while and then it just becomes time. Then it seems like the most natural thing in the world.
Let us know how your intermittent fasting went. I do it too. It gets tricky when it`s lunch or dinner time because your body is so use to eating at that time, but if you persist the cravings go away.
Yeaterday went amazingly well. I fasted through my shift, went to bed, and fasted through to dinner for 24 hours. Thing is, I didn’t even feel it. I felt the remotest hunger pangs a couple of times, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I felt energized when I got up, and got a whole bunch of yard work done. No lethargy, no bad mood, none of the bad things I’d expect. It was kind of weird. I felt MORE energy and mental clarity than I usually do which is definitely not the case when I just forget to eat or don’t have time.
I found it a little hard to believe it was doing any good just because I didn’t feel anything.
Awesome, glad it went well! That's more less what I feel as well when I do it. Sometimes the 24 hour fast goes like a breeze, sometimes it`s more difficult. But definitely worth it. I just feel lighter that day somehow.
Cool, how long have you been doing it, and have you seen any changes to your body yet?
I only did it for like 3 months in a row back when I was listening to MLS. Then I stopped, I don
't even remember why exactly. I just picked up again like 2 weeks ago. But when I was doing it when I was listening to MLS, I definitely saw changes to my body. Keep in mind that I was also exercising 3 times a week but I got my abs back and I lost 5 kg (11 pounds). I believe combining intermittent fasting and doing strength exercise 3 times a week is enough to keep you in shape. At least it as for me. If I got my diet fixed as well, I could have a really banging body. But that's never gonna happen because I just love food too much 
Aaannndd. Rough night with the wife again. She had a bad day at work, and came home sad. I was supportive, and I’d spent all the time since I’d gotten up working around the house and cooking. Then I went upstairs to get ready for work. When I came down she went off on me for a series of inconsequential things. I mean things like forgetting to put a container away in the cupboard. You’d think that I’d spent our son’s college fund on hookers and meth. Normally, this would have made me very upset. I’d be grinding my teeth to nubs, and there’d be a high probability I’d blow up back at her, which I don’t want to do in front of our son. Not this time though. I called her out on mistreating me every time she did, but I did it calmly. I felt almost serene in the middle of the storm. Mind you this seemed to tick her off even more, but I really didn’t care. She got pretty degrading, and an odd thing happened. I started to find it funny. She said something which was hugely insulting, but actually was pretty funny, and I genuinely laughed. I don’t mean in a derisive way, I mean just because it WAS funny (I must admit she is very good at being snarky). She wasn’t getting to me at ALL. Not on the level she usually does anyway. I kind of switched tactics. I left without saying goodbye or anything. (To her, our son of course got the usual level of cheerful affection) Tomorrow when I get home it’s going to be the same thing.
It does anger me on a deeper level. I am a friking awesome husband, and she’s lucky to have me, Hell, I do most of the housework and cooking because of her illness. But she continues to treat me like dirt whenever she gets upset on uncomfortable. Today something happened at work that made her feel small, so she tried to make herself feel big by belittling me. That’s sad really. From here on, I think the more she acts like that, the more I’m going to detach. I just hope whatever plays out can do so without mental harm to my son. If that doesn’t work, well, there are other women out there who would understand what they had and treat me accordingly.
(04-19-2019, 12:00 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Aaannndd. Rough night with the wife again. She had a bad day at work, and came home sad. I was supportive, and I’d spent all the time since I’d gotten up working around the house and cooking. Then I went upstairs to get ready for work. When I came down she went off on me for a series of inconsequential things. I mean things like forgetting to put a container away in the cupboard. You’d think that I’d spent our son’s college fund on hookers and meth. Normally, this would have made me very upset. I’d be grinding my teeth to nubs, and there’d be a high probability I’d blow up back at her, which I don’t want to do in front of our son. Not this time though. I called her out on mistreating me every time she did, but I did it calmly. I felt almost serene in the middle of the storm. Mind you this seemed to tick her off even more, but I really didn’t care. She got pretty degrading, and an odd thing happened. I started to find it funny. She said something which was hugely insulting, but actually was pretty funny, and I genuinely laughed. I don’t mean in a derisive way, I mean just because it WAS funny (I must admit she is very good at being snarky). She wasn’t getting to me at ALL. Not on the level she usually does anyway. I kind of switched tactics. I left without saying goodbye or anything. (To her, our son of course got the usual level of cheerful affection) Tomorrow when I get home it’s going to be the same thing.
It does anger me on a deeper level. I am a friking awesome husband, and she’s lucky to have me, Hell, I do most of the housework and cooking because of her illness. But she continues to treat me like dirt whenever she gets upset on uncomfortable. Today something happened at work that made her feel small, so she tried to make herself feel big by belittling me. That’s sad really. From here on, I think the more she acts like that, the more I’m going to detach. I just hope whatever plays out can do so without mental harm to my son. If that doesn’t work, well, there are other women out there who would understand what they had and treat me accordingly.
That last, line Man, you nailed it! YOU said it Man! YOU Nailed the whole thing actually ,not that you needed me to come here to say so,even though I just did:-) Yeah the shifts in you man are incredible to 'see' and read about. its incredible actually. More power to ya,Man!
(04-19-2019, 08:26 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (04-19-2019, 12:00 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Aaannndd. Rough night with the wife again. She had a bad day at work, and came home sad. I was supportive, and I’d spent all the time since I’d gotten up working around the house and cooking. Then I went upstairs to get ready for work. When I came down she went off on me for a series of inconsequential things. I mean things like forgetting to put a container away in the cupboard. You’d think that I’d spent our son’s college fund on hookers and meth. Normally, this would have made me very upset. I’d be grinding my teeth to nubs, and there’d be a high probability I’d blow up back at her, which I don’t want to do in front of our son. Not this time though. I called her out on mistreating me every time she did, but I did it calmly. I felt almost serene in the middle of the storm. Mind you this seemed to tick her off even more, but I really didn’t care. She got pretty degrading, and an odd thing happened. I started to find it funny. She said something which was hugely insulting, but actually was pretty funny, and I genuinely laughed. I don’t mean in a derisive way, I mean just because it WAS funny (I must admit she is very good at being snarky). She wasn’t getting to me at ALL. Not on the level she usually does anyway. I kind of switched tactics. I left without saying goodbye or anything. (To her, our son of course got the usual level of cheerful affection) Tomorrow when I get home it’s going to be the same thing.
It does anger me on a deeper level. I am a friking awesome husband, and she’s lucky to have me, Hell, I do most of the housework and cooking because of her illness. But she continues to treat me like dirt whenever she gets upset on uncomfortable. Today something happened at work that made her feel small, so she tried to make herself feel big by belittling me. That’s sad really. From here on, I think the more she acts like that, the more I’m going to detach. I just hope whatever plays out can do so without mental harm to my son. If that doesn’t work, well, there are other women out there who would understand what they had and treat me accordingly.
That last, line Man, you nailed it! YOU said it Man! YOU Nailed the whole thing actually ,not that you needed me to come here to say so,even though I just did:-) Yeah the shifts in you man are incredible to 'see' and read about. its incredible actually. More power to ya,Man!
Thanks man. I’d like to try a couple of things before I pull the plug though. I’m still trying to get into a position where we sleep at the same time so that she can be exposed to LTU at the same time I am. Barring that, I might buy E3 for her. If she’ll run it, it might help a lot. I am guessing that she has a pretty resistant personality though, so who knows.
(04-19-2019, 12:00 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Today something happened at work that made her feel small, so she tried to make herself feel big by belittling me. That’s sad really. From here on, I think the more she acts like that, the more I’m going to detach.
I can tell you for near 100% certainty detaching will not help your situation. If you want to remain in a bad situation and and let her think she is winning with her bad behavior then detaching is the way to go. If you want to have any chance of improving your situation you have to hold her accountable for her behavior much like a child. Things may blow up between you if you hold her accountable but they also may get better.
Personally my default response to a bad situation is detaching. I did it for years. It’s like an ostrich sticking it’s head in the sand. Nowadays anytime I find myself starting to detach I know I’m in a situation where I need to do the complete opposite. Make myself extremely present and proactive. Then the situation improves if it’s a situation which can be improved.
For what it’s worth I really enjoy your journal and hope your situation improves for your and your kids sake!
(04-19-2019, 04:53 PM)JakeKennedy Wrote: [ -> ] (04-19-2019, 12:00 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Today something happened at work that made her feel small, so she tried to make herself feel big by belittling me. That’s sad really. From here on, I think the more she acts like that, the more I’m going to detach.
I can tell you for near 100% certainty detaching will not help your situation. If you want to remain in a bad situation and and let her think she is winning with her bad behavior then detaching is the way to go. If you want to have any chance of improving your situation you have to hold her accountable for her behavior much like a child. Things may blow up between you if you hold her accountable but they also may get better.
Personally my default response to a bad situation is detaching. I did it for years. It’s like an ostrich sticking it’s head in the sand. Nowadays anytime I find myself starting to detach I know I’m in a situation where I need to do the complete opposite. Make myself extremely present and proactive. Then the situation improves if it’s a situation which can be improved.
For what it’s worth I really enjoy your journal and hope your situation improves for your and your kids sake!
I think we mean different things by detach. I mean that I am detaching from her, not detaching in general. I.E. I’m not going back to treating her as normal right away when she’s done blowing up. Making some changes to the words and tone of voice I use when talking to her, doing fewer little things, etc. At the same time, I’m calmly calling her out on it every time she does it. You don’t get the best side of me if you treat me like crap whenever you feel like it. If she wants that back, she has to earn it. And not to put too fine a point on it, I may be detaching from her permanently.
Paul, I'm really sorry to hear things aren't working out so good between you and your wife. People treat each other the way your wife treats you so often. It makes me so sad. I wish something would happen that would change the way people got on and this world would be more loving. I sound like hippie...
(04-19-2019, 08:07 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: [ -> ]Paul, I'm really sorry to hear things aren't working out so good between you and your wife. People treat each other the way your wife treats you so often. It makes me so sad. I wish something would happen that would change the way people got on and this world would be more loving. I sound like hippie...
Thanks. Man, don’t worry about the world. It’ll drive you nuts. Just worry about your little piece of it where you have some control.
The wife had a bad day at work again. This time she didn’t go after me. She was quiet, but appeared to be making an effort to be pleasant. I may have made an impression yesterday with the calling her out repeatedly. Tomorrow will tell, she’s off, and we’ll be spending considerably more time together.
(04-19-2019, 04:53 PM)JakeKennedy Wrote: [ -> ] (04-19-2019, 12:00 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Today something happened at work that made her feel small, so she tried to make herself feel big by belittling me. That’s sad really. From here on, I think the more she acts like that, the more I’m going to detach.
I can tell you for near 100% certainty detaching will not help your situation. If you want to remain in a bad situation and and let her think she is winning with her bad behavior then detaching is the way to go. If you want to have any chance of improving your situation you have to hold her accountable for her behavior much like a child. Things may blow up between you if you hold her accountable but they also may get better.
Personally my default response to a bad situation is detaching. I did it for years. It’s like an ostrich sticking it’s head in the sand. Nowadays anytime I find myself starting to detach I know I’m in a situation where I need to do the complete opposite. Make myself extremely present and proactive. Then the situation improves if it’s a situation which can be improved.
For what it’s worth I really enjoy your journal and hope your situation improves for your and your kids sake!
I agree with Jake 100% Man! he's telling it like it is Paul!! I swear. I Couldn't stand it for 2 minutes,and I dont. No matter where I am or what Im doing. Admittedly I am not in your shoes,but I shure as hell have been more many times,including earlier this year. its one of thee main reason I no longer speak with 98% of MY Family. toxic is toxic, I dont care how ya cut it! I think you deserve so much more man.you really do!! I also sincerely hope,that you two CAN infact have a major ass-heart felt,tears streaming re-connect,mending of the fence-relationship-break through !! if not...welll..either way better things ahead are for you. theres no doubt of that!! respectfully. Keith.
Your response to Jake's words:
I think we mean different things by detach. I mean that I am detaching from her, not detaching in general. I.E. I’m not going back to treating her as normal right away when she’s done blowing up. Making some changes to the words and tone of voice I use when talking to her, doing fewer little things, etc. At the same time, I’m calmly calling her out on it every time she does it. You don’t get the best side of me if you treat me like crap whenever you feel like it. If she wants
that back, she has to earn it. And not to put too fine a point on it, I may be detaching from her permanently.
MY response: you've certainly got your feet on the ground Paul and are clear on what your intentions and boudaries are Man, as I've said before More power to You!! Keith.
“ I agree with Jake 100% Man! he's telling it like it is Paul!! I swear. I wouldnt stand for it for 2 minutes,and I dont. no matter where I am or what Im doing. Admittedly I am not in your shoes,but I shure as hell have been more than once 'er twice,including earlier this year. its one of thee main reason I no longer speak with 98% of MY Family. toxic is toxic, I dont care how ya cut it! I think you deserve so much more man.you really do!! I also sincerely hope,that you two CAN infact have a major ass-heart felt,tears streaming re-connect,mending of the fence-relationship-break through !! if not...welll..either way better things ahead are for you. theres no doubt of that!! respectfully. Keith.”
If we were just living together, I wouldn’t take it for two minutes myself. But we’re married, and that’s a more difficult thing to escape from plus it’s a bigger commitment. I gave my word, and while getting out of an abusive situation wouldn’t be breaking it, it’s still not something I ever do lightly. Plus, I don’t know what part is caused by the holes her immune system is eating in her brain. Still, if it keeps up, it’s not going to be much longer.
I am hoping to mend fences too, though I don’t think there’s a force on earth that would make me expressive enough for tears when no one has died. Truth be told I don’t want to be. That’s not my personality type.
“MY response: you've certainly got your feet on the ground Paul and are clear on what your intentions and boudaries are Man, as I've said before More power to You!! Keith.”
Thanks. I’m making life better day by day. The bumps on the road just make me stronger.
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