(03-14-2017, 02:47 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (03-14-2017, 02:32 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: [ -> ]What was your sub history prior to Dimsee? You seem to be executing far better and far more quickly than almost everyone else, which would make me think that you just have far less to clear for the sub to start executing so fast and strong. Did you use a lot of subs to clear past shit before this, or have you just been fortunate enough to have enough mental capacity to clear out the bad shit on your own?
I wouldn't say that -- I'm just gifted with a natural pattern making ability, insight into my mind and it's inner workings and the ability to express what's going on with my life. I'm also mildly narcissistic and I follow a personal philosophy of rational self-interest -- every action I take must somehow benefit me and push my life toward my own goals, or I'm not interested.
Meaning -- anyone who wants to impress their will on me for the purposes of leeching will find themselves getting f*cked up.
Haha, fair enough. Wish I had that mental fortitude. Man, I thought I had it before some baaad fucking shit started happening to me. Beat me the fuck up, and I still haven't been able to fully recover.
So your first subs have been DMSI? I'm still curious, if you don't mind sharing, what your sub history has been, and how it differs from my own.
(03-14-2017, 03:07 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: [ -> ] (03-14-2017, 02:47 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (03-14-2017, 02:32 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: [ -> ]What was your sub history prior to Dimsee? You seem to be executing far better and far more quickly than almost everyone else, which would make me think that you just have far less to clear for the sub to start executing so fast and strong. Did you use a lot of subs to clear past shit before this, or have you just been fortunate enough to have enough mental capacity to clear out the bad shit on your own?
I wouldn't say that -- I'm just gifted with a natural pattern making ability, insight into my mind and it's inner workings and the ability to express what's going on with my life. I'm also mildly narcissistic and I follow a personal philosophy of rational self-interest -- every action I take must somehow benefit me and push my life toward my own goals, or I'm not interested.
Meaning -- anyone who wants to impress their will on me for the purposes of leeching will find themselves getting f*cked up.
Haha, fair enough. Wish I had that mental fortitude. Man, I thought I had it before some baaad ***** shit started happening to me. Beat me the **** up, and I still haven't been able to fully recover.
So your first subs have been DMSI? I'm still curious, if you don't mind sharing, what your sub history has been, and how it differs from my own.
Oh, missed that request.
I've run AM6 twice, then every version of DMSI (except v2.2). Stopped v3 a bit early to run MHS for 30 days and now v3.1.
Stopping v3.1 when MLS is out, or maybe after 32 days so I can run MHS again.
Day 13:
Like others, experiencing an extreme urge to quit DMSI. Shannon wasn't lying when he said this version was going to put your back against the wall and you'll have no choice but to cooperate or quit. Which of course, you really can't thanks to P5, so I might as well keep on running it.
Also, extreme apathy toward women. Like I just don't care to pursue them. I don't feel like going out with this date I set up for Saturday night. Debating not even messaging her.
I am getting attraction signals from women, and weird responses from men. Got opened at the gas station by a 4/10. I just ignored her because IDGAF. Got this straight up 7.5/10 blonde manifestation on Tinder that I'm ignoring because IDGAF.
I wanna just hide in the house with the covers over my head and sleeeeeeeeeep. Because IDGAF.
IDGAF 5.5g.
Been feeling the horrible overwhelming urge to quit as well. Actually tried going back to E2 today. Didn't know that Shannon had said that, or that anyone else was experiencing this urge but me. Good to know. Guess I'll switch back to DMSI tonight.
(02-10-2017, 12:02 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Those who bail on DMSI will do so for one of two main reasons.
1. They decide something else genuinely interests them more, and they may or may not come back to DMSI. These guys will be in the minority, because they're not bailing out of fear or resistance.
2. Those guys who decide they can't handle what DMSI is demanding from them, and they know that DMSI will have it's way if they keep listening. These guys would have their reasons for bailing removed by DMSI if they don't bail. They will try to convince themselves and everyone else that they fall into #1 above, but it will be relatively easy to spot the difference based on how they act, think, speak, and what they do afterward. They may or may not come back, but the point of them bailing is so that DMSI does NOT succeed, and does NOT make the changes that result in them using it or using it again. They therefore are unlikely to run it again once they bail.
I agree with you on the paradigm flip.
Shannon said this on my 3.0 journal
Quote:Like others, experiencing an extreme urge to quit DMSI.
Interesting, mine was in the way of wanting to stop everything and do other methods like EFT. For now that may have passed.
Same here - this is the very first version that makes me consider quitting. But... I've been running DMSI for a friggin 7 months now - quitting now would mean to throw away all that time. Nope, not gonna happen!
(03-15-2017, 10:37 PM)hsindermann Wrote: [ -> ]Same here - this is the very first version that makes me consider quitting. But... I've been running DMSI for a friggin 7 months now - quitting now would mean to throw away all that time. Nope, not gonna happen!
Wow wait 7 months ! Did you get laid bro ? :angel:
Day... Something:
Last few days have been infinitely tough. Overwhelming depression and despair. Intense self-worth and self-loathing issues have surfaced. Feelings that I hate myself and the fact that I have to run subs to make change. Strong urge to say "f*ck it all" and just live the life of a recluse that makes good money. It could be a satisfying life. Solo travel. Solo adventures. Not having to deal with people or bullsh*t.
The universe will drive a man mad once you realize how just cold it all really is. We all lie to ourselves that we're "higher" and "enlightened" beings but the truth of the matter is that we're just organic computers running on low-level primordial programming. Morality and ethics are just bullshit man-made institutions to keep that programming in check. We're one step away from reverting back to our primal nature. And it won't take nearly as much as you think.
I've had lots of IOIs and tons of challenges from men and shit like that over the last few days, but I don't even give a shit anymore. I don't even care to report them. This "high value" life is not as great as it seemed as an outsider looking in. At work, I'm getting more respect and I'm quickly rising through the ranks -- but that means MORE WORK and MORE RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, it'll mean a lot more money, but it also means that I'll never get a time to rest.
As I increase in value, more and more about the nature of this world becomes so apparent. And all the crazy ass rich celebrities -- like Kanye -- I suddenly begin to get a glimpse of why they are the way they are. Living in a reality where everyone, everyone, EVERYONE wants to see you fall or take something from you. It dawned on me -- and I should've recognized this already, but I think I was lying to myself -- that all these women that are suddenly so attracted to me only want to either have my children and suck up my resources, or suck up my resources in exchange for sex.
There is no love there. Only the exchange of value. Transactions. No different than buying some sh*t from Amazon, except this time, you can't return the goods and it's a sh*tty deal anyway.
My mind is screaming at me to quit DMSI, lest I live the rest of my life being an extremely high value male -- earning tons of money and attracting women, but always having to be "on," never being able to rest. Return to the relaxing life of sitting around, eating Cheetos and watching porn all day.
That can be a satisfying life. Right?
Very clever form if resistance, Chaos.
Never said I was quitting. I'm still beating the drum, running my two loops every night.
(03-17-2017, 05:40 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Day... Something:
Last few days have been infinitely tough. Overwhelming depression and despair. Intense self-worth and self-loathing issues have surfaced. Feelings that I hate myself and the fact that I have to run subs to make change. Strong urge to say "f*ck it all" and just live the life of a recluse that makes good money. It could be a satisfying life. Solo travel. Solo adventures. Not having to deal with people or bullsh*t.
The universe will drive a man mad once you realize how just cold it all really is. We all lie to ourselves that we're "higher" and "enlightened" beings but the truth of the matter is that we're just organic computers running on low-level primordial programming. Morality and ethics are just ***** man-made institutions to keep that programming in check. We're one step away from reverting back to our primal nature. And it won't take nearly as much as you think.
I've had lots of IOIs and tons of challenges from men and shit like that over the last few days, but I don't even give a shit anymore. I don't even care to report them. This "high value" life is not as great as it seemed as an outsider looking in. At work, I'm getting more respect and I'm quickly rising through the ranks -- but that means MORE WORK and MORE RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, it'll mean a lot more money, but it also means that I'll never get a time to rest.
As I increase in value, more and more about the nature of this world becomes so apparent. And all the crazy ass rich celebrities -- like Kanye -- I suddenly begin to get a glimpse of why they are the way they are. Living in a reality where everyone, everyone, EVERYONE wants to see you fall or take something from you. It dawned on me -- and I should've recognized this already, but I think I was lying to myself -- that all these women that are suddenly so attracted to me only want to either have my children and suck up my resources, or suck up my resources in exchange for sex.
There is no love there. Only the exchange of value. Transactions. No different than buying some sh*t from Amazon, except this time, you can't return the goods and it's a sh*tty deal anyway.
My mind is screaming at me to quit DMSI, lest I live the rest of my life being an extremely high value male -- earning tons of money and attracting women, but always having to be "on," never being able to rest. Return to the relaxing life of sitting around, eating Cheetos and watching porn all day.
That can be a satisfying life. Right?
Excellent question, but I'd have to say no.
Doritos are just so much better than Cheetos it'd be stupid to compromise. Do you really think you could be satisfied with a 2nd rate junk food?
Day... Something (17), Part 2:
So, I had the WEIRDEST experience today and I know it was DMSI based.
Today, I've been suffering from some soul crushing resistance. I mean, absolutely terrible. You saw my last post. My emotions have been an absolute rollercoaster. Just up and down and left and right without any rhyme or reason. I've been a complete mess -- really about to just melt down in a ball of tears, Dorito crumbs (good point Nox) and porn.
Around 2:00p today, I began to feel INCREDIBLY HUNGRY, damn near insatiable. All I could think about was food. I ended up going to KFC because it was the closest thing near me and grabbed a huge meal and scarfed it down. As soon as I finished eating, I had this IMPULSIVE urge to rush to the bathroom and purge it. And not even because it was bad or something. I became very disgusted with myself and my body and that I gave in to my urges and got KFC instead of something healthy. It took every bit of willpower I had not to do it, and I took a beeline for the bedroom instead and took a nap for the rest of my lunch.
When I woke up, I could feel the aura swirling around me and I felt much more at peace. I'm still feeling the resistance a little bit, but it's mostly gone now. I think the sub's sourcing kicked in to help me pass that resistance and my subconscious tried to self-sabotage by attempting to force me to throw up the food. I have NEVER had urges to do that before. NEVER. It's NEVER crossed my mind. This is definitely the result of something being cleared out that my subconscious desperately wanted to hold on to.