Day 8:
This sub... is so weird. It makes me feel so... odd. Emotional, yet grounded and stable. Unaware of who the f*ck I am, yet... very solid in my identity. It seems like every few days, there's another reality shift and it throws me into complete inner turmoil. I'm guessing Shannon scripted the subliminal to shift us only as fast as we could handle. Seems to be about everything three days for me. That was the last time I felt like this.
And yet, results are starting to increase. I was in the convenience store this morning, minding my own business, grabbing a Red Bull and a DOUBLE FUDGE BROWNIE and this dude walked all the way across the damn store just to say, "what's up, brother?"
I was just like, "what's good, mayne" and he smiled and walked off. Then, I catch this chick in tight gray yoga pants staring at me from across the room. She turns around to grab something and I saw her glorious, glorious ass. It was GLORIOUS.
I'm flirting like crazy with the women around me, including my D.C. friend. The one that doesn't believe that I'm truly being "open" with her. She thinks that it's all a big joke and I'm somehow teasing her by pretending to want to connect with her. She clowned me for not calling her by the nickname every else uses (I call her a variation of it). Next thing I know, I was texting back: "It's because... you're so special that I can't fathom calling you what everyone else does. <3"
Now -- before the PUAs and ZAN MASTARS cast judgment -- trust me, I know what I'm doing. It plays right into our relationship. She thinks that I'm the coldest, darkest person she's ever met. In our earlier discussion, she said something along the lines of, "Anytime you're ever this open, I get suspicious." And she's right. Usually, I'm only nice to her or even text her when I want something. The point is, I usually wouldn't even bother to risk rejection by engaging in this little game. And on v3.1, I just don't give a f*ck. Reject me. Who cares? There are others and there will be others and your loss, hooker.
Most everyone is being very friendly toward me. Some playful ribbing, but the disrespect has largely seemed to stop. I'm getting a few people that's just outright ignoring me. But for the most part... it seems like I'm being treated like a lesser celebrity. Wonder what causing that?
Anyway, flirting with all the crazy chicks on Tinder. I've collected about five numbers but... I haven't made any moves on any of them. I just don't feel like it. It's this weird DMSI paradox. Getting results, but not seeming to care. Maybe the anti-sniper?
I dunno.
On the flipside, I got into an epic argument with someone on Skype this morning. The fact that I feel so much better after having it makes me wonder if it were a manifestation.
Yo chaosvrgn, could you post a rough outline of your Tinder game? I'd rather get something from you than some PUA nonsense. Thanks man.
(03-10-2017, 09:52 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Day 8:
This sub... is so weird. It makes me feel so... odd.
(03-09-2017, 06:42 PM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]Day 8, DMSI V3.1-A:
-I feel odd on this version. I don't really know how to verbalise it in a way that can be understood properly.
Made me lol a bit. It's clearly not imagined by either of us, or anyone else reading and having the same bizarre feeling that isn't even able to be defined in words properly. It's almost like a detached numbness or blankness or something, I don't know. "Something" is causing this. We'll have to see what the next chapter holds in store...
Just thought I'd quote us both, as it's funny we came up with the same thought on the same day.
I feel like the life is being drained from me. Trying to get myself motivated to go train today, but I don't know if I can handle one of the conditioning workouts feeling like this. I just wanna go back to bed and sleep forever.
(03-11-2017, 05:16 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]I feel like the life is being drained from me. Trying to get myself motivated to go train today, but I don't know if I can handle one of the conditioning workouts feeling like this. I just wanna go back to bed and sleep forever.
I soooooo miss MHS and 3.0.1...
This energy drain is not productive at all!!
EDIT: Also feel like the celebrity effect is gone and I'm being ghosted A LOT
Day 9:
I have a personal mantra -- the more my mind is screaming at me to stay in bed and NOT go train, the more I need to do so. That being said, I decided to stop being a little b*tch and take my ass to the gym, especially after looking at myself in the mirror and realizing that I had lost A LOT of weight. If I keep up this training schedule, a few months, I'll be ripped as f*ck and a badass fighter to boot.
I'm so glad that I did.
Now, I was being ghosted like a mofo -- I mean, seriously, no one would even speak to me outside of this one tall alpha black dude who chatted me up for a good five minutes before and after class.
BUT -- something's switched in me. I was killing it in the Muay Thai class today. No sparring, but I was lighting up the heavy bag with some super quick combos. And most of all, I couldn't believe how relaxed I was when hitting the back. I've always had a problem with tension, which slows down technique. It's... just gone. I had no fear and was in a perfect flow state.
I asked the Coach a question at one point and he looked at me like I was an alien, or an absolute threat, like he couldn't figure me out. Whatever's shifted has changed people's perspective of me.
I ran to Dick's Sporting Goods to grab a new -- and better -- pair of gloves since the padding is gone out of the ones I had. The guy at the register kept trying to talk to me, even though I was clearly giving off a "I don't wanna chat" vibe. So clearly, celeb vibe is up... but attraction is down.
I didn't think it was possible for a person to have so much rage. But I just experienced an anger that was so vicious and vile that I'm actually scared of myself. The things I was thinking of doing and saying to people if they ever tried to hurt or disrespect me again was terrifying.
It's interesting -- I was actually feeling pretty good after this morning's intense workout. Came home, took a shower grabbed my phone and had a nice chat with one of my friends. After I got off the phone with him, I realized I was starving and had an incredible craving for carbs. So, I darted off to the Chinese restaurant nearby (relax, it's my cheat day) and grabbed a huge portion of fried rice and sesame chicken.
About an hour after I finished eating, I felt my body fill up with an immense amount of energy. My skin felt like it was on fire (in a "good" way). I was sitting under the covers and could literally feel the heat waves emanating from my body. I assume this was the energy sourcing. And then, BOOM.
The f*cking rage. The self-loathing. The hatred for everyone in my life. The hatred of my life. The depression. The tiredness of being who I am. The understanding that no woman actually cares and if they saw what I was writing right now, they'd use that to exalt themselves above me in value.
The sheer apathy toward what I was experiencing and the feeling that I wanted to simply wanted to give in to that darkness and do whatever it took to get what I wanted.
I'm very much aware of what happens if I don't keep my darkest impulses in check. I haven't unleashed that "beast" in over 3 years now, because the last time it happened, I nearly took someone's life in a fit of uncontrollable rage. I had to put my phone down to avoid sending off a slew of texts toward various people (ASS technology, I presume).
I believe the Chinese food caused the aura / clearing to kick in, and this darkness (which I call "the razor") manifested as a form of resistance. It's subsiding a bit. I got out of bed and lit some candles, put on some soothing piano music and I'm going to finally get around to filling out my taxes. Anything to avoid being stuck in bed with whatever the f*ck that was.
First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you, Then they fight you. Then you win.
Keep going.
(03-11-2017, 10:23 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you, Then they fight you. Then you win.
Keep going.
I've literally had people laugh at me while on dmsi. Guess that's progress?
Day 10:
It's happening again. The rage is surfacing. And there's a distinct pattern...
I actually had a really good morning. I had an unbelievably hot, but older, Asian woman flirt with me after the first Muay Thai class (I went to two). Super tight body, amazing ass that she was showing off in some super tight yoga pants.
Halfway through the class, I suspected she had been hit by the SRS sniper, as she was clearly the hottest chick in there, and I began to feel that undeniable "pull" toward her. I instinctively moved to a heavy bag where she could see my striking technique. I mean, literally instinctively. I didn't even realize what I had done until I caught her looking up at me.
In between classes, she opened me and started asking about my equipment. I mean, I DID look good today -- my muay thai shorts, shirt and gloves all matched and looked really expensive. Then, started flirting and asking how often I come and hopefully we'll see each other again, etc.
There were a lot more women in the second class. They were all super friendly and giggly. One was commenting on my muay thai roundhouse kick, how powerful it was.
The men on the other hand... kept trying to hate. I keep getting these weird, threatening looks. It's like they're just looking dead into my eyes for a minute, then glancing away. I mean, this happened multiple, multiple times today. There's this one super tall, buff alpha that just ghosts me, and that's cool, because he looks like the type to try and bully you if you don't fall in line -- and that's not something that will fly with me. I f*ck up bullies, don't give a shit how big you are.
At one point, I realized that my workout shoes had started to carry an odor (which I promptly threw away after class) and wondered if that's what they were looking at, even though I wasn't wearing them (I took them off when we started doing kicking drills). If so, get the f*ck over it. It's a gym. Sometimes gym equipment smells. Whatever. But this wasn't the first time that the weird looks have happened. It KEEPS. HAPPENING.
Even my MMA coach did it today. Celeb vibe or what?
Anyway, I'm still in the process of organizing my new apartment and started going through my clothes. I realized that I'm down from an XL to a L. Decided to treat myself to some clothes. Ran to Old Navy (because I love their Oxford shirts) and tried on a L. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was absolutely astonished at what I saw. My presence was just... amazing. I can't even put into words. Everything from my posture, to the physical features of my face seemed to be on point and downright sexy. I think that's why I keep getting women doing doubletakes at me. I'm starting to exude sexiness.
That's when I realized why I've been getting a lot of weird responses from men and women lately. Shannon must've put "eye and facial communication" in the script. As I stared at myself in the mirror, my newfound intense glare communicated raw sexuality and masculinity. I felt like I was looking at the black Wolverine. I noticed that I've been seemingly getting less IOI's, but the ones I get have been exaggerated.
That's because the sub is qualifying and disqualifying women and communicating your intentions through your damn eyes. When you look at a woman on DMSI v3.1, she knows exactly what you're thinking and she knows exactly what you want. I'm going to take the smiles and giggling as her saying, "yes, I'm open to exploring this with you." And when the uglier women are looking up and away (which allegedly signifies that you have no chance), I'm thinking, "who cares, uggo -- really didn't want you anyway."
But back to the rage. It seems to be manifesting after I eat. I'm pretty sure the sourcing is kicking in and the clearing is either going balls deep in my brain (because I'm pretty sure I experienced another reality shift today, I feel totally badass), or the sourcing is kicking the sub on and I'm resisting it.
Anyway, interesting day. I just hate feeling this angry and having to fight to contain it.
Good ol' rage -> depressive resistance
Hope it goes smoother. That rage shit is no joke!
Day 12:
There's so much to talk about, but I can't figure out where to start or even what to write.
This sub... is doing strange things. Nothing feels right. Everything feels off. It's like there's cracks in my day-to-day reality and I never know what to expect. People are being SO unpredictable. It's absolutely insane. I'm getting such polarized responses that I don't even know how to interact with others right now.
The women I wouldn't expect to be attracted to me are attracted and vice-versa. My "baseline" attractive properties have seem to increased. Instead of attracting 4's, 5's and the occasional 6, it's like my default is now 6's and 7's.
Men are being downright disrespectful or submissive. OR, they ghost the hell out of me. And the thing is... I realize that I do this same thing to people I perceive as high value. I either act a little disrespectful to assert my own value, or I pretend they don't exist.
My official theory? We're just not used to being treated the way a high status, high value male is treated and it's an eye-opening experience. We've all wanted to be the "alpha male," but I'm not sure if we've ever considered what that life is like. Constantly having to be on your A-game because EVERYONE is gunning for your status, money or position.
Some people are going to love you because they feel they can profit somehow from your status. Others will hate you for simply existing because it reminds them of what they're not. Some will just ignore you, because they aren't interested in playing the game and they're letting you know that. It's a lonely life, knowing that no one truly cares about your intrinsic worth -- if you even have any. Everyone's just interested in what you can bring to the table.
This is the reality that I'm slowly shifting toward in v3.1. It's not an easy path. My body feels wrecked because I spent three hours this morning at the gym. One hour BJJ, one hour conditioning, one hour boxing. I woke up at 5:30a to get ready and my mind was SCREAMING at me to just get back in bed. However, I pressed forward -- telling myself that the more my mind tells me to stop, the harder I must push toward progress. This is a new mindset. It must be Ultra Motivation.
I'm convinced that some variant of Everything is Possible is in v3.1 because I'm constantly feeling like my limits are being melted away.
I'm pretty sure I sniped the shit out of my BJJ rolling partner this morning. She's a cute (and talented) petite chick. When we were paired together, she began blushing. While rolling, she kept thrusting her hips against me in a very odd way -- almost like we were fucking. She's a little bit more advanced than I am, so I'm not sure if she's executing some technique that I'm not aware of, but the BJJ instructor did tell her to control her hip movement and stop flailing, which led me to believe that she was... mock f*cking me? And I couldn't keep my eyes off the little sports bra she had on under her gi...
I also opened the tall, leggy black chick. She and I kept bantering throughout class and she was laughing at all my jokes, even if they weren't funny. Lots of eye contact. Lots of subtle touching. Was interesting.
I feel like I'm in execution mode today. Very hot and I can feel the energy sourcing. I've also manifested a very tall, beautiful blonde on Tinder. We're chatting it up now.
Interesting sub, this is...
What was your sub history prior to Dimsee? You seem to be executing far better and far more quickly than almost everyone else, which would make me think that you just have far less to clear for the sub to start executing so fast and strong. Did you use a lot of subs to clear past shit before this, or have you just been fortunate enough to have enough mental capacity to clear out the bad shit on your own?
(03-14-2017, 02:32 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: [ -> ]What was your sub history prior to Dimsee? You seem to be executing far better and far more quickly than almost everyone else, which would make me think that you just have far less to clear for the sub to start executing so fast and strong. Did you use a lot of subs to clear past shit before this, or have you just been fortunate enough to have enough mental capacity to clear out the bad shit on your own?
I wouldn't say that -- I'm just gifted with a natural pattern making ability, insight into my mind and it's inner workings and the ability to express what's going on with my life. I'm also mildly narcissistic and I follow a personal philosophy of rational self-interest -- every action I take must somehow benefit me and push my life toward my own goals, or I'm not interested.
Meaning -- anyone who wants to impress their will on me for the purposes of leeching will find themselves getting f*cked up.