Subliminal Talk

It absolutely amazes me how far you have come and grown! I hope you see it too…if not reread your journal. It’s inspirational.

Thanks for the encouraging words Patti and I do agree with you the progress I have made since I've been here has been huge and the results are like night and day they really are.

What I was trying to reiterate more to myself than anything else was that these qualities I seek I once had. I had perceived my past in such a bad light when in fact there was only parts of it that were tough. It's just the emotional baggage that was bought about through numerous events over the last 8 years that had jaded by perceptions.

My past has started to become a lot clearer to me lately, quite possibly through removing some of my limiting beliefs. I've realized there once was a time when I did have a large social group and in fact I did have a lot of girls chasing after me (even though I was to blind to see it at the time). Realizing these helps me to further destroy these beliefs that hold me back.

Anyway enough delving into the past and rationalizing So I started on stage 3 last night also went out to a family function last night and was pleasantly surprised at the ease at which I could converse with others there. In previous years I would have been very quiet and had a tendency to hang around my parents at these sorts of events.

I have found myself being a little discouraged lately by the lack of women and my skills with women and in fact found myself almost a little jealous of those that are good with women or have made huge progress but realize that I will change and progress at my own rate. I also remember from my days of PUA that sometimes just the smallest change can make a world of difference in the result.

One thing that will drastically change it all for you.

Stop worrying about skills...you don't need that. Instead, focus on how it will be once you have the correct energy to draw these women to you and make them come for you. At that point skills are redundant. And fortunately, you have this ability already.

I wonder if the main cause for a lot of men not achieving exactly what it is they want so quickly, is just the fact there isn't much example out there of what these programs are pushing you to become. Perhaps, I could write a good manual/guide with some experience of what that is like. I realized, last year that made a huge difference on my mindset when I found another guy who wrote something similar.

Thanks Ryan.

A lot of what was coming up then was resistance and fear. Those have passed now.

Would you be able to explain having the correct energy? because I'm struggling to comprehend exactly what the right energy and in some ones a little put off by it because of the old PUA thing of you must have high energy and be the party guy. I am all against PUA type stuff now.

(12-04-2012, 06:18 AM)Ryan Wrote: [ -> ]I wonder if the main cause for a lot of men not achieving exactly what it is they want so quickly, is just the fact there isn't much example out there of what these programs are pushing you to become. Perhaps, I could write a good manual/guide with some experience of what that is like. I realized, last year that made a huge difference on my mindset when I found another guy who wrote something similar.

I would find this hugely beneficial (i'm sure a lot of others would as well) as there's so much rubbish out there at the moment trying to find good examples on what actually its really like is next to impossible.

While stage 2 encountered horrible resistance, stage 3 has been good and has really helped me in a lot of ways. I'm so much more comfortable in all social environments now. I hardly talk but I feel mostly completely at ease and relaxed in social situations. I also realized the other day that I have become completely comfortable in my new flat during stage 3 which is cool. I've also had many other instances of feeling at ease in new social situations.

Fear is another big one that has become so much clearer to me. I've realized how all my anxiety was based around fear, everything that came up from November last year was all based on fear. Some of that has cleared. I had my ex contact me the other day which would usually send me into a tailspin of anxiety due to fear of abandonment rearing its ugly head. This anxiety was next to non existent. Getting past this anxiety is the main reason I started using Shannons subs in the first place and it feels like such an accomplishment knowing that fear is next to gone. I was also quite easily able to just delete the message and not worry about it with no draw to reply back through being able to now see how manipulative she was. This again is huge for me and another testament to Shannons subs. Depending on how things go with WM OFSG may well be my next port of call as i'm loving the feeling of freedom that comes from letting go of fears.

I've been finding more and more random people are talking to me since starting stage 3 as well. Last night I had a random girl come over from the other side of a room to start talking to me. I found I had no expectations of anything and was just chatting to her like I would with someone I've known for years. I've let go of a lot of worrying about whether people like me or not or feeling embarrassed about things. Like today I just found myself singing loudly in my car and just enjoying it without worrying about what others though of me.

Don't worry about the energy, WM will change your energy subconsciously, you don't have to do a thing but go out and be yourself. Partying it up, you don't have to be the life of the party either. The guy in the corner whom is confident and good with himself can get women's attention too. There's all sorts of examples of this type of guy in Hollywood. There are also many examples of the party type of WM, which I think resembles something like the movie, Crazy, Stupid, Love

As I said, your PUA stuff did more harm than good. You're going out with expectations that you have to be this type of person and if you do not live up to those expectations you either feel down (or previously for me, extremely anxious). You just have to go out and do what you want. When you no longer have those expectations...you will notice how much easier it is and how much more women are attracted to you. So I'd say, focus on that

As long as you know women like you and you like them, they will regardless of whether your introverted or extroverted.

I think self-acceptance and some living in the moment is good for ya, I think WM deals with this quite well, hang in there!

PS: PUA have to fake their energies & personalities when they go out because it is not natural to them. When it becomes natural to you via subliminals, PUAs looks completely ridiculous and you'll notice you can simply get women just by being yourself both good and bad self, quiet/bored and energetic/outgoing.

Very true and very well written.

Thanks Ryan,

I actually just started to realize that through three experiences once you had posted that post. Its so much different from what PUA teaches and all that other bull****

So stage 3 is changing something major, What I do not know but it is. On Friday night I was out at a bar catching up with my brother because he just got back from overseas. Was generally feeling pretty relaxed and just having a good time. I went outside for a smoke (the first time away from my brother and mine and his mates) and was just sitting there and this girl walks across from the other side of the courtyard and walks straight up to me and asks how my nights going. We have a bit of a chat and then go our separate ways. What struck me here was the fact that she walked over from the other side of the courtyard so blatantly to come have a chat.

The next night on Saturday night I was out at a party with a friend (I was also completely sober which is a first). So I was chatting to mates and generally having a good time. I was saying my goodbyes when this girl comes up to me and tries to quite literally drag me into her room. I wasn't into her in the slightest (she was very overweight and had some hygiene issues). She then continued to go on about how hot I was and how I must have all the lady's and blah blah blah. She then tried to hand me her number and told me to give her a call if I ever wanted to have sex. I don't quite understand why girls of this quality are so blatant with me? I do know what its like for a high quality girl who gets all the guys hitting on her now. Its actually kind of sad and what made it worse was some of my mates were hitting on her as soon as they thought she was easy.

Then today I was in the elevator coming up to work and this cute girl starts chatting to me. I can't remember what was said but she was laughing away and hitting my arm for the short ride up.

One of the things I noticed none of this girls made any advances while I was around other people either of us know. In two cases it was just us to in the immediate vicinity.

Take action kid! Get the digits ; )

So its hard to say exactly what stage 3 is doing one thing for sure is its making me more comfortable in new situations. I still don't like to talk to new people and I still have a fear of talking to good looking women but stage 3 is making me more real, more me. I've also been catching up with a lot of friends lately and in some situations i'm being looked to as the social leader. People asking me what we should do and where we should go.

One thing I've realized is that I've hid the real me away due to shame. Sometime early on in life I developed a feeling that the real me is not OK and I built up shame around who I was. This led me to not even know who I was, I remember when I started with my therapist I said to him I really don't know who I am. This shame holds me back in social situations as well. I'm really outgoing when I'm acting like someone else but not when I'm being me.

I think OFSG will do me some real good as whats become apparent is that shame holds some of my fears in place and dealing with that shame will help the fears melt away. I'm still unsure if there's guilt there but there's definitely shame.

Oh and early Merry Christmas everyone

So living more and more in the moment these days. Its actually become quite extreme so I have to push myself to think ahead and plan some things out. I've had social events going on pretty much 24/7 since starting stage 3 and have to also force myself to have some of my own time to get things done. I'm not complaining its been good fun just going with the flow and not planning things out but I have to plan out a few things like finances and getting fit.

As for girls not a whole lot happening here although I was going through the drive through last night and caught the eye of a girl at the counter she just smiled and waved and said hi followed by giggling and hiding around the corner. That was a bit of fun as that's definitely something that hasn't happened to me much and she was kind of cute to. I felt like asking for her number as I couldn't hang around and chat but I didn't.

So stage 3 is increasingly making me comfortable in different environments. I don't much feel like talking still but that's OK at the moment. I also noticed more and more i'm building a social circle again even though I'm not the lively party guy. The more I move through this journey the more I realize that being the loud party guy just isn't me and i'm becoming more and more ok with that.

I also bumped into someone I used to go to school with the other night and he got onto talking about his band and how they are having a hard time trying to find a new singer. I mentioned that I would be interested in giving it a go. So all going well I should have an audition in the next month or two. This has always been one of my dreams and I would get to write my own lyrics as well which is exactly what I was always after. They were also in chats with record producers before their last singer left, so this really would be a great opportunity to do something I really enjoy doing.

I also had his girlfriend hitting on me because she though I had drugs for some reason. Anyway she ended up trying to hook up with me and at that point I had to tell her to back off. She was very attractive but she was taken and to add to that taken by a guy I could see as becoming a good mate.

When I'm not out with mates though I have been spending far to much time watching movies etc. So this is a habit I will need to break and start doing more constructive things with my time. I've spent a fair bit of time thinking and have got a few things down which I want to achieve this year including going further with my scuba diving by doing my dive masters and also learning to kite surf. Some of this stuff I would have just been to scared in the past to jump on and take the opportunity at hand. Anyway I'm a few days out from the end of stage 3 while the women side of things isn't really going anywhere fast the social side of things is moving along and that was my main goal with using WM

Jimbob, be careful about this band: if the guy's girlfriend was hitting on you to get drugs, you might be better off not joining the band at all. If the band is into drugs, it could really screw things up for you.

And maybe he should know she does things like that. If she'll do it once, she'll do it again.

(12-29-2012, 03:04 PM)Sean Wrote: [ -> ]Jimbob, be careful about this band: if the guy's girlfriend was hitting on you to get drugs, you might be better off not joining the band at all. If the band is into drugs, it could really screw things up for you.

I'm personally not to worried about the drugs. I used to be quite a heavy drug user years ago then one day I just said no I'm not doing this anymore it isn't getting me anywhere and stopped from then have used them a handful of times but thats it. I still associate with people who use drugs but it doesn't phase me as long as they respect the fact that I don't do them and that I don't want them on my property or in my car. Everyone that i'm friends with now understands that and respects those rules. I lost a few during that process but hey they weren't that great of friends anyway. One thing that does disturb me though is how prevalent drug use is in my country. It's now more acceptable here (by people under 30) to use drugs than it is to smoke. I get shunned for being a smoker while they are fine with people using drugs. There are now more people under 30 that use drugs recreationally than there are smokers. Its quite a disturbing statistic and while the government is fill of praise for the work done reducing the number of smokers they ignore the growing drug issues.

(12-29-2012, 03:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]And maybe he should know she does things like that. If she'll do it once, she'll do it again.

I was having a chat with a mate later on in the night and he does know. I don't understand why he puts up with it as he's always been one of the guys that has a wide choice with women. Maybe its just his liberal approach to it and not giving a s***. I personally wouldn't put up with it but that's just me.

Anyway finished up with stage 3 a week ago.

What I noticed during stage 3 was that I became a lot more comfortable in general around social situations. Even though I wasn't talking a lot I was generally more relaxed and that came through in the way I was able to joke around and talk quite naturally.

Another interesting thing was I went diving during the week and as much as I love diving I always feel a bit of fear when doing it. This time there was none, I mean zero there's also this fish that I always scares me a bit when I go down and that also didn't scare me at all. I managed to do my first solo dive (without a buddy as well) before this would have freaked me out but it was manageable. While this may not seem like a whole lot I believe it works into deeper fears like fear of the unknown.

Stage 4 was a mare to say the least for the first few days I felt so empty and lost inside with it all coming to head yesterday when I felt really antisocial and I really just wanted to hide away from the world and everyone in it. This is defiantly working on something big. I also had a lot of longing and thoughts of my ex coming up. I've realized these longing thoughts have to do not so much with her but my perception of what she means to me and symbolises (Love, Comfort, Support). This is why she becomes such a recurring theme throughout my subliminal use. Dealing with these issues through subs means that I am slowly letting the fantasy and my perception of her go. It still completely amazes me to this day that I had let myself base my whole sense of self on her and not on my own standing.

Anyway enough babbling and contemplation of insights over the last week