4/180
Day 4 off - Sat 22 May - OFF #2
So 2nd day off today.
I woke up tired and all day ive been tired. I have been getting on with anything I need to but its clear im tired and more tired than usual.
I think today I also had some light headache or maybe it was yesterday lol I cant recall but today yeah its been a tiring day. As if im not sleeping enough (story of my life) but its been noticable past few days so ive thought today that this could very well be the sub.
Anything else to share not really no fearful thoughts except that I watched the last episode today of a show ive followed for 7years. It came to an end. I just felt remorse and perhaps upset that my adult life has been wasted and dead. Inactivity due to fear and anxiety of my weight and not living to my potential.
Other than this I felt perhaps a little more free and calm. I had a little argument at my bro but less anxiety than usual and less feelings of stress perhaps. I think thats something to note that I dont feel as fearful perhaps or stressed out or maybe I dont sense as much anxiety when I could be triggered to usually feel them but so far unsure if its the sub or perhaps just the situation and how it played out today.
The biggest take away for me is the tiredness and feeling that I really need to sleep well and 2nd take away from today for me is perhaps a calmer more resolute composure but the jury is out at the moment on this one.
Im hopeful that in a weeks worth of playing this sub and perhaps in 2 weeks and then a month that it will become clearer what is happening but im definitely optimistic....lets see what happens
Unlike some of you that are playing this sub, which are playing whilst awake im hitting play and sleeping so my data is based on when I wake and what I feel in the day. Due to this and not knowing exactly what is in this sub im trying to share anything and everything I can so that a pattern can emerge for me to realise I am executing and for shannon data to know what is going on.
Addendum:
So after replying to @
Qiel in the next 1 or 2 posts I went to read journals for today and then came to Qiels journal and whilst writing a reply I had an idea (
https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Qiel-...#pid245023)
So since this sub may be so subtle that ive absolutely no idea what will happen until weeks or months into it I felt maybe I should list some obvious indicators of how I should feel 6months later or when I know I am executing and releasing all my inner fears.
The obvious one for me is less fear and anxiety or zero towards procrastinating and inaction on studying and academic self learning.
Another would be again zero negative fears around thinking about the future or what time ive lost of my past.
Third is perhaps not having fear of being unable to look after myself should I end up living when im back in a bad area of town or the rougher areas but confidence.
I think perhaps releasing all fears would lead to greater confidence and lack of oneitis or stress when into a woman - perhaps.
I just thought it would be cool to state these. Other fears I cant share as they may be dependent on being in a situation to test it out such as fear of spiders, bees/wasps or of heights for example.
Now my 3rd day off starts.