(07-23-2021, 12:12 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]What you need to realize is that "constantly looking for signs that it's working" is fear. Fear that it will work, and fear that it won't. This is that form of resistance that pits the subconscious fears against the conscious fears to cause gridlock. You're also mixing in the self blindness that requires that you lie to yourself to fail to see what is actually happening. That is another escape and resistance tactic.
Now answer me this. Why does the subconscious respond with fear to playing OFv3?
The answer is because OFv3 is DOING SOMETHING. It's HAVING AN IMPACT. It is pushing you to remove the fears that you have come to rely on to "keep you safe" and "keep you alive", which, when the program tells you to let go of them, it res[ponds with MORE FEAR. Why? Because it sees that unless it reacts, those fears will be removed, and then you won't have them to "keep you alive".
Resistance, by definition, is a response to the program having an impact that is aimed at achieving it's goal. It is, in other words, proof that the program is in fact working.
The key is to find the level of impact and input required for your cooperative subconscious to achieve the program's goals despite the actions of the uncooperative parts.
Don't give yourself an escape "in case". Just do it.
Thank you @
Shannon that totally makes sense and reassures me further.
I will be on hybrid as planned and will take it further. Without as you said "constantly looking for signs that its working" how then will I know once I increase the intensity that I have reached that optimum sweet spot for me?
That's not your goal right now. Your goal is to get to know how 4 loops per day on of hybrid affects you. See how you respond to it. And if, at the end of an ASRB2 cycle, you think you aren't getting enough input, then consider adding a loop. But it's quite possible that 4 loops will be at or above what it takes for you. Just observe what happens right now. There's nothing to worry about.
(07-23-2021, 01:36 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]That's not your goal right now. Your goal is to get to know how 4 loops per day on of hybrid affects you. See how you respond to it. And if, at the end of an ASRB2 cycle, you think you aren't getting enough input, then consider adding a loop. But it's quite possible that 4 loops will be at or above what it takes for you. Just observe what happens right now. There's nothing to worry about.
ok thank you so much! ill observe and journal and see so keep an eye out to see how I go too please.
Day 67/180 OFF #2- Saturday 24 July
1) Fapped twice and went to bed around 4am. Mentioning fap as there has been an increase in this and so must be resistance.
2) Woke surprisingly at 10am and stayed awake, determined to try and fix my sleep cycle.
Dont feel as much fear as i have been yesterday and the last week or 2. I mean that internal anxiety and stress isnt there as much today.
I also even with little sleep dont feel tired.
Addendum:
My mood seems better too. I did have a nice long chat with a friend with laughs etc but na that isnt it because well my mood even after phone calls has been dire these past couple of weeks so yeah today mood is better. Just dont feel full of angst, fear, apathy, feel kinda charged not fully recharged but 75% perhaps which is still good for me and well yeah its good.
Day 67/180 OFF #2- Saturday 24 July - part 2
3) as previously stated, I started off with less anxiety/fear but as the day went on and I kept thinking about doing some academic work of any kind the fear grew. I then tried to do just whatever I could and managed to do about 20mins solid work with around 1hour in total of work done in some way, which is great considering starting was difficult and the hardest part. That being said I then wasn't able to continue after.
Realization is that fear didn't allow me to get into a flow. It's a constant tug, that stops you from feeling normal. It is there as you trying to stay focused and disciplined.
Anyway that was that and tomorrow I start hybrid at 4 loops and cannot wait!! - from past experience I'm more likely to go with Trickling Stream, but will know better later tonight for sure.
Thursday 20th May 2021 - Day 2
The point is I didnt feel fear nor recall feeling any apprehension. I felt well, confident and strong.
4/180
Day 4 off - Sat 22 May - OFF #2
Other than this I felt perhaps a little more free and calm. I had a little argument at my bro but less anxiety than usual and less feelings of stress perhaps. I think thats something to note that I dont feel as fearful perhaps or stressed out or maybe I dont sense as much anxiety when I could be triggered to usually feel them but so far unsure if its the sub or perhaps just the situation and how it played out today.
6/180
Day 6 ON - Mon 24 May - On #1
Ive had a decent day no issues and felt calm and nothing really to report.
lol I remembered something. So today I was talking to my older bro and sis and I told them off for something. I did it where I didnt stop for breath but was assertive. Im usually assertive I believe in my head anyway whether thats how I come across is a different thing. Point is when i did this I didnt think of it as a big deal nor anything different than the norm but as I stepped away I could hear my sister joking to my bro about how I was telling them off but she was saying it in a fun jovial way to suggest that the youngest is telling them both off. I remembered this because this isnt usual so mentioning it here.
Here are 3 examples that show, in my opinion, that you are executing. This isn't placebo this appears to be actual execution. If fear is as big a portion of your life as it appears to be then this is actual execution. Don't dilute this or write it off take a good hard look at your own words and try to find similar such behavior in your own journal if you haven't re read it yet.
also on a side note. Who cares if it's placebo. The "placebo effect" can be potent enough to heal people of terminal issues as well as other situations. It's just the power of your personhood. Instead of writing placebo off, how about you leverage it to execute change in your life. That journey is different for every person so I can't really comment much more. Happy hunting if you do decide to go on that one.
How about you realize that there's no way it could be placebo if you are fighting so hard to prevent it from happening? Placebo requires pure cooperation.
Thank you to @
Chris P. Bacon & @
Shannon. Its late here and I've just got on to update my journal so ill reply tomorrow hopefully.
Day 68/180 ON #1- Sunday 25 July - *1st Day of Hybrid (4 loops) *
1) Went to bed around 2am I think and turned on the sub. Luckily didn't disturb my sleep as I feared the masked track might so that's good.
2) Woke late VERY TIRED!! - Woke around 11am but slept until 1pm and then woke around then and was sleepy and tired and got out of bed around 2-2.30pm
Was tired and sleepy and groggy.
I did take sleep supps late last night and after eating late too so did wonder if they digested late and thus did this but doubt its the case.
3) After breakfast (very late lol) I think I woke up from this grogginess and then felt fine. I did do some planning around studying and got into a flow state but planning isn't what I'm afraid of and still I evade the actually studying part but I'm trying to corner myself in day by day so that then I have no way to escape but to study.
That being said its now 2.37am and I am up very late and so will return later with an update of day 2.
(07-25-2021, 09:02 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]Thursday 20th May 2021 - Day 2
The point is I didnt feel fear nor recall feeling any apprehension. I felt well, confident and strong.
4/180
Day 4 off - Sat 22 May - OFF #2
Other than this I felt perhaps a little more free and calm. I had a little argument at my bro but less anxiety than usual and less feelings of stress perhaps. I think thats something to note that I dont feel as fearful perhaps or stressed out or maybe I dont sense as much anxiety when I could be triggered to usually feel them but so far unsure if its the sub or perhaps just the situation and how it played out today.
6/180
Day 6 ON - Mon 24 May - On #1
Ive had a decent day no issues and felt calm and nothing really to report.
lol I remembered something. So today I was talking to my older bro and sis and I told them off for something. I did it where I didnt stop for breath but was assertive. Im usually assertive I believe in my head anyway whether thats how I come across is a different thing. Point is when i did this I didnt think of it as a big deal nor anything different than the norm but as I stepped away I could hear my sister joking to my bro about how I was telling them off but she was saying it in a fun jovial way to suggest that the youngest is telling them both off. I remembered this because this isnt usual so mentioning it here.
Here are 3 examples that show, in my opinion, that you are executing. This isn't placebo this appears to be actual execution. If fear is as big a portion of your life as it appears to be then this is actual execution. Don't dilute this or write it off take a good hard look at your own words and try to find similar such behavior in your own journal if you haven't re read it yet.
also on a side note. Who cares if it's placebo. The "placebo effect" can be potent enough to heal people of terminal issues as well as other situations. It's just the power of your personhood. Instead of writing placebo off, how about you leverage it to execute change in your life. That journey is different for every person so I can't really comment much more. Happy hunting if you do decide to go on that one.
Thanks man @
Chris P. Bacon I hear you and then what @
Shannon said after that too. I think I gave a reply above before you did this to explain how what I had before June 10th such as the above may not be the case as I was at home in the UK which is a safety bubble but the real test is after this date for when I flew back to Europe at uni and its here that the real procrastination and avoidance and fear reveals itself. Most of my execution seems to be before June 10th too.
but I'm on hybrid now so lets see how I go
Day 68/180 ON #1- Sunday 25 July - *1st Day of Hybrid (4 loops) * - part 2
4) Went to bed around 6am, after playing my pc game for a few hours and unable to get away.
5) Fapped slept whatever time it was as well as hitting play on the sub for day 2.
---
Day 69/180 ON #2- Monday 26 July - *2nd Day of Hybrid (4 loops) *
1) No dreams or anything. Woke at 12.50pm which is better and wasn't at all tired. Therefore the tiredness I had yesterday was more likely due to the sleep supplements as I suspected.
2) As I had done all study planning yesterday and over the last month I felt ok there was no where and no way for me to hide but to get some studying done. Ive opted to try and make it as easy as possible by not reading textbooks or jumping into the hardest topics but to use online video lectures and start at the most basic of places that I can.
I managed to do just that and study and as I did I found it at first to focus but I got there and I managed to get a 16mins lecture done in 1-2hours of understanding and self testing. Its taken a long time but its a start and a great start.
So today on hybrid I felt when I woke and during the day as if I didnt even listen to anything. That feeling which I call bliss as its as if I have no angst to the sub made me feel like I should increase the loop to 5 after this ASRB2 has ended.
I will however see how I go today and then the 2 off days before making that decision but I feel that is a way to go for me.
Day 69/180 ON #2- Monday 26 July - *2nd Day of Hybrid (4 loops) * - part 2
3) Needed and wanted a break from the study so ate and chilled, watched my tv, ate some chocolate bars and kept thinking ok I can go back and do more cos its not as hard as it seemed. Im procrastinating sure but its not heavy as before.
4) Also something I forgot but just remembered now. I cant recall if this was today or yesterday but as I was done brushing my teeth and washing my face and as I stepped out of the bathroom I had a conversation with myself. I cant remember if it was in my head or out loud but due to that procrastination webpage I mentioned some posts back, it was still resonating with me and I basically said to myself look you're scared but you wont die and you can over come this so you got this just get it done. If this is the sub helping my subconscious in this way so be it and if not so be it its still a win!
Based on part 1 of this post, there is still no negative feelings today or anything even though I did 4 loops of hybrid which I thought may break my proverbial dam so I think moving up to loop 5 is has to be as mentioned in part 1.
Whole ASRB2 cycles before increasing loops. And remember, we aren't increasing them because it's new and exciting, we are only increasing them if necessary.
(07-26-2021, 12:36 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Whole ASRB2 cycles before increasing loops. And remember, we aren't increasing them because it's new and exciting, we are only increasing them if necessary.
Thanks @
Shannon. Yeah I just don't know what to look out for but today has been a positive day. Now I have the 2 days off. So will see how I go. If there is fear or any negative feelings ill up it.
Based on today, not feeling as if I even listened to a sub let alone hybrid made me feel increasing it would be a good idea.
(07-26-2021, 01:09 PM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (07-26-2021, 12:36 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Whole ASRB2 cycles before increasing loops. And remember, we aren't increasing them because it's new and exciting, we are only increasing them if necessary.
Thanks @Shannon. Yeah I just don't know what to look out for but today has been a positive day. Now I have the 2 days off. So will see how I go. If there is fear or any negative feelings ill up it.
Based on today, not feeling as if I even listened to a sub let alone hybrid made me feel increasing it would be a good idea.
When you say you feel like you didn't listen at all, what exactly does that mean?