Subliminal Talk

So are your physical illness symptoms limited to your sinuses? If you are having a lot of congestion and inflammation, have you tried nasal irrigation? Either a neti pot or saline spray bottle? I always wanted the Navage Nasal Irrigation System, but it's a little pricey, and I'm fine just using my neti pot.

I used to get sinus infections really bad - the kind that'd give me a fever of 104+. Then I'd get on antibiotics, get over it, and get the same damn infection a week later. Since using a neti pot, I never get sinus infections anymore, and I rarely get a cold.

Regarding software to keep track of mental notes and musings, I use Evernote. There may be better options out there by now, but I haven't looked. I use the free version, never needed the pay version. Maybe someone else will have a better suggestion for you.

Hope you feel better soon!

(01-03-2021, 12:52 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]So are your physical illness symptoms limited to your sinuses?  If you are having a lot of congestion and inflammation, have you tried nasal irrigation?  Either a neti pot or saline spray bottle?   I always wanted the Navage Nasal Irrigation System, but it's a little pricey, and I'm fine just using my neti pot.  

I used to get sinus infections really bad - the kind that'd give me a fever of 104+.  Then I'd get on antibiotics, get over it, and get the same damn infection a week later.  Since using a neti pot, I never get sinus infections anymore, and I rarely get a cold.

Regarding software to keep track of mental notes and musings, I use Evernote.  There may be better options out there by now, but I haven't looked.  I use the free version, never needed the pay version.  Maybe someone else will have a better suggestion for you.

Hope you feel better soon!

I did, the issue is I can breath just fine so there is no immediate help and there was no help in the long run either. I used the salt water or something like this, so maybe there are better ways to do this. At this moment my symptoms are: headache (front of my head), general tiredness and lack of concentration, muscle aches and occasional sneezing (like 5 times a day or so). My temperature is perfect and I monitor it closely. I think I just overtaxed my body during Christmas break when I was exercising like crazy simply because I could. This lead to me being little big weaker, which with smog of the city and now high pressure gives me these issues. I hope that's it, I don't wanna develop 37.5C again...

Thanks for the suggestion on the software, the "Top 10 notetaking blablabla" lists gave me the impression that Evernote might be too heavy-weight but maybe complex solution would better cut it.

Quote:the impression that Evernote might be too heavy-weight but maybe complex solution would better cut it.

It is heavy weight and not very flexible. I have been using it for 10 years as an archive for everything and I pay for premium but it might not be what you’re looking for. It’s not really complex but I don’t think it offers the flexibility you need (it does have tags and chronological sorting order though.) Also, the latest major update has turned Evernote into a nightmare, at least on iOS. They are fixing it little by little but it’s been very hard to work with it lately.

Anyhow, since it’s free(mium), you can give it shot if you don’t find anything better.

(01-03-2021, 05:01 PM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ]

Quote:the impression that Evernote might be too heavy-weight but maybe complex solution would better cut it.

It is heavy weight and not very flexible. I have been using it for 10 years as an archive for everything and I pay for premium but it might not be what you’re looking for. It’s not really complex but I don’t think it offers the flexibility you need (it does have tags and chronological sorting order though.) Also, the latest major update has turned Evernote into a nightmare, at least on iOS. They are fixing it little by little but it’s been very hard to work with it lately.

Anyhow, since it’s free(mium), you can give it shot if you don’t find anything better.

Thanks for tuning in, I appreciate it!

That's true, I will probably try it for a month or so and see. It's a shame I didn't develop habit of using something like that in the past, my work requires only some clever directory management in Dropbox as I divide work into projects and they don't really intersect. Price is non-factor as that'd be a pocket change for me.

Stage 5 Day 23 (0)

I feel better, but still not too good. Today and yesterday I managed to do a couple of hours of work but way fewer than I'd hope. This makes me feel quite useless but I'm functioning well enough.

Talking with my mom gave me some much needed solace. I was researching my job prospects and I through at her idea that maybe instead of going to the new job straight away I could spend some time learning new skill on my own if I were to find an interesting job that required it. I thought she would bomb this idea but she was optimistic, saying that I'd be fine to spend some time like that if it meant I'd get a job I'd enjoy.

I don't think there will be a need for it. If anything I'm doing this right now, this is exactly why I applied for scholarship in Autumn - so that I will get skills I need for the job I'm eyeing, at the cost of time of course. However I want to have more than one plan and so more options are always welcome. I have some money saved and I could easily survive a couple of years jobless - that's not the point. The point is I have options, that gives me some peace of mind. I don't envy people slaving away so that by the end of the month they have money so that they and their loved ones won't go hungry. Right now I don't have to worry about it and unless something catastrophic happens I never will.

Stage 6 Say 19 (0)

Sorry for not posting in a long time. Things had been... weird lately. In a good way mostly. I find myself busy all the time and lacking in things to whine about, but also brag about, ergo the pause. I'm fine but tired. This stage really has put my drive up to 11 but didn't give me more time or energy.

I know where I'm going, I know what I want and what it will take to get there. I talked about this before but now I really got to push myself. And it's not a matter of if I need to do this - I want to. After a long run I want to run this last straight line as fast as possible to leave everybody amazed.

I may be tired, I may be burned out but damn there is still fuel to burn and I will shine bright!

Stage 6 Day 28 (1)

Things went a little bit sideways, unfortunately. My doctor prescribed me new medication for my diabetes and it kicks by balls. I don't wanna get into details because I'm not looking for medical advice here but my body is really giving me a mixed messages here and I really wonder if I should get off it. The problem is that I don't know what exactly is going wrong, my body is giving me a serious mixed messages here. Sweet breath typically signifies ketoacidosis, but my urine is clean. Other option, lactic acidosis, is extremely unlikely. I hope it's simply a case of dehydration as these pills really make you urinate like crazy.

I really don't wanna stop taking these pills as they do wonders for my diabetes, but I'm worried. I've been pretty much useless because of that this week and I'm worried my condition might get worse. I'll try to contact my MD tomorrow and ask her for advice.

As for sub - like I said hard to judge this week due to these circumstances. I plan on running stage 7 for 6 months as I have good feeling about it and it will serve as a nice coda. What happens after it I do not know, we'll see I guess. I'd love to run something money related as recently I got into crypto and earned some nice cash from DOGE hype and maybe I should dig dipper into that.

Stage 7 Day 1 (1)

Well, here we go. I plan on listening to this stage for 200 days, till the end of August. Quite a nice number I think. After that we'll see.

Looking back at stage 6 it was very hard on me. Health issues aside I cannot deny the resistance was the strongest during it and quite frankly I let it overcome me. Feeling sick is a great excuse to procrastinate and I've used it to the limits. This weekend I'll take my time to have some fun and meet up with my friends, but start Monday I'll have to get back to my goals and work. No ifs or buts.

I've been thinking a lot about my financial situation recently and how to grow my wealth. While at my current job I cannot do much to improve it and I cannot quit it up until Autumn so I'm using this time to learn. Like I said I've invested some money in crypto and reading a lot about it. I have quite a nice return from it already but I think long term here. I think I have things figured out quite nicely and unless things come tumbling down or I'll panic during the bull market I think I'll be fine. Retiring at the age of 40 sounds sooooo nice.

As for my current job there is much to be done, quite a lot of time to do it but I feel my passion for it is gone completely. Part of me just wants to do necessary minimum up until the end, part wants to make the exit a thing to remember. To be honest I don't know what to do but there are opportunities to be had and the job was always something that was keeping me focused and grounded. Doing a bad job now would be a disservice and I'll rather leave with a bang, even with the passion drained.

Stage 7 Day 2 (0)

Been talking with my mom today. Soon I'll be leaving to go visit her for a week or so. I was telling her about my investments and she told me her usual "don't focus on money, focus on being happy" shtick.

She's not wrong but that doesn't make her right. My usual ironic response would be "I'd rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable" which is equally good and bad statement. Truth is, as I see it, you need security money provides in order to be happy. You can replace it with courage but I lack it now. So big money would be a solution for many of my problems and sure, it would bring more, but that brings me back to my truism. I believe you can be wage slave and be happy, I'd just try to avoid this path if I can. And certainly I don't wanna work till I die due to stress.

I can talk more about this if anyone cares, it's quite hard to write something coherent without going into huge essay mode.

The problem I see with this is that these past 2 weeks I started to shift my self-value into monetary metrics. I simply feel so stuck with my life right now. Seeing return on my portfolio makes me feel like I actually have some agency. And while this is not something I'd want to do as my job - I'd die out of anxiety while day trading - but mid-to-long-term it gives me job. As long as I'm clever about this, diversify and all that I'll be fine. Sadly I have to come back down to Earth and face my anxieties instead of living in a dream world of future wealth.

Stage 7 Day 65 (2)

Oh boy, I haven't posted in a loooong time. Two months. I hope nobody was worried that I might be dead.

These last 2 months were harsh and, quite frankly, I'm afraid it will only get worse. And it's not sub's fault. Well, maybe if it tries to do too many things and I get some kind of resistance. But it truth my mistake if that I'm trying chase too many geese at the same time. I'm stretched and exhausted yet I feel like I'm procrastinating. All my plans end in the gutter, I have to face more and more work with less and less time.

There are two things, two hopes that keep me alive for short-term. And I'm more anxious than I ever was than none of them will pan out. And, at this point, none of them are within my power anymore - die had been cast, all I can do now is play what the face will deal me and I think that a bad result will crush me.

Glad you're alive, man!

I also didn't post much running LTU6.  Dunno why, just didn't feel like it.  Had a lot of other stuff going on.  That's continued for me on Aura of Love.  I haven't even started a new thread!  

Hope things are good, or getting better.

(04-18-2021, 09:23 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Glad you're alive, man!

I also didn't post much running LTU6.  Dunno why, just didn't feel like it.  Had a lot of other stuff going on.  That's continued for me on Aura of Love.  I haven't even started a new thread!  

Hope things are good, or getting better.

This stage of LTU is a handbook "run it and forget it" type of deal for me. I go through my notions of starting and closing the player at a given times but in these past 2 months I thought about the sub only a handful of times, with the only significant one being stopping the run for the Easter break so that I don't exposure my mom. But with that came also much less retrospection and thoughtfulness.

Stage 7 Day 66 (3)

I started to really think and look back at some of the things I've been doing. It's easy to get lost in problems of now. It also means I'm willing to go ahead and try some of the stuff that worked for me in the past with hope that it will work again.

In hindsight the huge issue is that I stopped exercising. My weight stabilized (which is good, gaining weight was a huge issue for me in the Autumn and Winter) but one needs to exercise also for these sweet, sweet endorphins. I stopped as it was distracting me too much from my work but now that I have everything figured out better I think I can start doing it again.

This is where I will start. I need something to keep my morale up, to keep my self-esteem when I feel like everything around me is falling down.

Stage 7 Day 67 (1)

The sad consequence of my return to this forum is that I started to think again about what sub to run. The original plan was to run this sub for 6 months while 3-6 are recommended and given that this stage doesn't seem to work great for me I'm thinking of alternatives. I will get to 100 days I think and then I'll consider my options.

I really don't think the sub is to blame. I always found that the subs give me the best results when I'm focusing on something, like it happened last year. Now however I lost my focus and got entangled in way too many strings pulling me in all directions. I think there is silver lining to be found though. Now that I woke up from the slumber and warmer days are sure to cheer me up I might figure my life again.

While my situation is not... perfect, it is better than I believe. I hold a lot of anxiety for things I have little control over and I set myself goals that are ambitious but arbitrary. It's like playing a video game and expecting a perfect score each time. Life's not like that and I have plenty of room to fail and try again or do something else. The difference now though is that I'd always use this room as an excuse not to do things that make me anxious. This is not an option anymore - I have to face these things and finish what I started, albeit with not as much pressure as I forced on myself these past 2 months.