Building a Nice Life- Aventus's LTU v6 Journal

[Aventus45]

Stage 5
Cycle 1/3
Day 4/10

My supervisor gave a performance feedback call to the manager of the recruiting agency that got me the job and through the grapevine, my supervisor said I am doing a phenomenal job and that was the fastest feedback call that the manager received. My friend and i are surpised and i can almost feel like the imposter syndrome is gonna start building up

[Aventus45]

Stage 5
Cycle 1/3
Day 7/10

I took a long walk to reflect and process things that happened this week,  Last night I grew closer to my friends and was able to shamelessly share aspects of my that I used to be very shameful or secretive about and being accepted anyway after bringing that up. Our friend group tries to be accepting of each other and I noticed that the most judgmental person there was me and i judge myself the harshest.

After a walk today, I realized that there was no point in judging aspects of myself as good or bad, I just am all aspects and all. After it dawned on me, it felt liberating to have that subconscious weight off my shoulders.

[Aventus45]

Stage 5
Cycle 1/3
Day 8/10

Purchased OF v2 and planning to run it for the full 8 months after LTUv6, Afterwards, Probably SM3 as it would be a waste to purchase it and not use it. I believe after LTU and OFv2, my foundation is strong enough to handle branching off to other aspects of my life. 


I noticed that I felt like a lot of feelings of fear and defeated need in regards to dating at my age. As all my female friends have histories of dating older men and it makes me feel its not worth my time to start attempting to date now. If anything i should be using this time to develop myself and continue to build that foundation as a person with LTU v6 and Of v2 before starting to work toward that direction with AM and SM/WM. 

[Aventus45]

Stage 5
Cycle 2/3
Day 6/10

I feel like a responsibility to get better as a person and be an example to my friends since mental health is a bit of a taboo in my culture. As for close personal relationships, I became a lot closer to my friends and having that support system for each other is definitely an improvement. 

My self-esteem has improved due to seeing my impact on everyone and how well I do in my job. I'm seeing the evidence the goes contrary to what I used to think. In the past, I wouldn't have thought I would get this far pre-covid and definitely not last year. 

This may be resistance but my mind has been gravitating to OF v2 and wanting to run overcoming fear. 

[Aventus45]

Stage 5
Cycle 2/3
Day 8/10

It's my rest day and i noticed how impatient I feel about my progress with everything. I wished i got back into subliminals earlier than I did so i can be reaching my goals faster. I wished i can lose body fat faster, be more competent, remove my fears and everything faster. 

[Aventus45]

Stage 5 
Cycle 3/3 
Day 1/10

The gratitude and happiness modules are kicking in. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. If I were to describe it, it’s sort of like a content and grateful feeling. It’s been a long road since i started LTU and I can’t imagine where I would be if I haven’t started it and did something else.

[Aventus45]

I noticed that I have been pickier and pickier on who I consider in my inner circle of friends. It has been triggering some guilt in me to not consider some people as part of my inner circle but I definitely feel like I need to.

[Aventus45]

Stage 5 
Cycle 3/3 
Day 3/10

Played SIA for two loops and my playlist went into my usual LTU cycles. 

Had a dream about Oneitis and it stirred up some weird emotions and predominantly anger. the anger dissipated but i was still left with a weird emotion before i went back to sleep.

I'm now torn on whether to play AOL next or OFv2 now.

[Aventus45]

Stage 5 
Cycle 3/3 
Day 5/10

Feels like LTU has been helping me dissolve some emotional blocks and enabling me to feel more emotions. I ran into an old song that simultaneously made me deal with my fear of my mother dying and my inner child not having the affection from my parents that I desperately needed. Absolutely felt like the dam to my emotions are breaking down and emotions, like water, are bursting out through the cracks.

[Aventus45]

Stage 5 
Cycle 3/3 
Day 10/10

[Aventus45]

Stage 6
Cycle 1/4
Day 7/8

Lost a close friend of mine due to my fear of standing my ground in a very very complex life situation. I feel like I need to run OF v2 as soon as possible to remove my all of my fears.

[Aventus45]

Stage 6
Cycle 3/4
Day 4/8

Me and that Close friend made up, things are rocky now but we are still talking.

Finally got a bit of a wardrobe change and got some nicer clothes. Always thought about waiting until I get to my goal weight before I do so. However, I fell off that as I stopped caring because I realized that I was doing this for other people and it sort of killed my drive for it. I realized that I should do this first and not wait for it. 

I went with close friends to buy clothes and we were able to bond with them and slowly be more vulnerable with them and share great moments with them. It really reinforces the notion that I need evaluate my friends and see who is worth investing in. It's sort of a blessing to have this opportunity to realize I need to reevaluate my friends now due to the pandemic bringing people closer together and others further apart. 

As for the stage, it feels smooth as there no real outward shift that I notice. It becomes integrated into me pretty quickly without me noticing it. A dream that I did have last night was me lost in an ever-shifting maze and I couldn't find a way out. 

[Aventus45]

Stage 6
Cycle 4/4
Day 5/8

Felt some kind of TID coming. Last night it seems like I am processing something regarding being wealthy. It feels like fear and yet it is also UMS Related because the dream revolved around accepting a wealthier lifestyle and living like a millionaire and the conflicts that have involving family. I did have an experience with this type of thing as my grandfather died and my extended family was fighting for the will. It's definitely left a bad taste in my mouth and turned me off of a lot of wealth aspects subconsciously.

[Aventus45]

Stage 6
Cycle 4/4
Day 7/8

In terms of the sub, this stage has been smooth sailing. I'm guessing stage 7 is going to kick everything to high gear. 

I recently got really interested and pushing to become more financially free and get rid of my debt. I am not sure if that is due to LTU v6 pushing me to improve in this area or TID from UMS v2 pushing me to be more financially independent and achieve my own personal goal of having some more personal freedom by living on my own.