Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM6 RE-RUN Stage 2 - Letting go

[baftis]

Both inner game and outer game is important. Inner game is more important, since that's where your outer game comes from. Both should be studied, inner game first and foremost.

[Dee]

Happy New Year!

I somehow got the New Year blues, but this time it was suppressed by the fact I can change the things that were getting me down. Whereas before it would have spiralled into a state of depression for days. It seemed to have been triggered by music that brought back passed memories, I have been dealing with my past hurts but this time it was different.

What took it over the top was an amateur music artist, the person had millions of views for what seemed more of a joke than an improvised song, but he also had other professional music vids.

He really believed in himself but he looked a bit autistic. I began to wonder if I was the same when I thought I would crack the music world, a retard who can’t tell the different between fantasy and reality. As many people told me to stay in school that was torture for me and I found another way to make a living and life for myself.

[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnlNILIMgCI [/video]

A fools Errant

I hate this feeling as it seems real even though the real world evidence suggests different. My business venture for example, my idea has been accepted by experienced business people in the world’s 4th biggest accounting firm.

My mentor used to be vice president of a leading electronic company says it an good idea, and many other professionals. But I still feel as though they either trying to spare my feelings because they feel sorry for how stupit I am, or they just talking advantage because they benefiting somehow (money mostly).

Obsessed with Success, I gotta make it

It explains why am so focused on achieving a lot of stuff and trying to measure the results of my improvements. I have to kick this feeling once and for all and it seems like the only way.

Yeah I may accept myself, love myself for who I am, but if I still get triggered by seeing people with lesser ability mentally. Then it will be a life long struggle. I have too rid myself of these feelings of inadequacy.



Can’t help but remember Ron Davis, even though he achieved success and riches he still felt sub-human which just fuelled his drive to succeed more and he had it worse than me.



Clearings for the day

I have been cleared some issues about shame and sex. Shame for desiring it, having it etc. Am sure that Adam and Eve story is in at least 1 billion peoples sub conscious minds, but its negative impact has been cleared from mine.

Action Plan – I have found a nudist resort that I can spend a weekend or more in on summer, if I can get comfortable talking and interacting with people butt naked, balls hanging, semi hard-ons and all, I doubt I will be self-conscious after, in everyday life with clothes on.

I also touched on some of the issues of my New Year’s Sorrow but it only helped a bit. I am positivity about the whole thing as I know there is hope and if I stick to my plan I Will Overcome.

Happy New Year , I know I will have the greatest year of my life this time around.

I wish you all the same

[Dee]

What's really important in life?

I didn’t get to do anything that I had planned for the day, just a bit of business work as I was with family most of the day. I wondered if I planned to start too many things on this month knowing that I am not as disciplined as i would like to be, I’ll soon see.

What’s really important in my life? What do I value more, chasing people’s and society’s aspirations of living in luxury and comfort with all the pleasures life as to offer or the Ideals I have? Many may seem unrealistic but so was the idea of Freedom once why do I worry myself with such questions knowing they just lead to many more.

I feel as though I have outgrown my old plans but on the other side of the same coin I have to achieve those goals because there’s a certain level of confidence that comes with success, and is unmatched, or at least that’s what I believe right now.

I am changing so rapidly, I am so excited about who I will be by this time next year.

SHORT TERM GOAL #1

I have suffered from a sort of restlessness for years, I could not sleep during the night time no matter how tired I was. I could always fall asleep working night shifts for a few years which didn't help much but was an when the sun came up no matter what time I went to bed. So I began acceptable solution at the time.

It was as if a deep sense of insecurity would come over me every time I felt sleepy and it grew intensity the closer I got to the falling asleep.

A stream of unpleasant thoughts and images would flash before the screen of my mind causing me to force myself to “think” about something else for hours on end until daytime would approach then I would naturally fall asleep.

Sedatives and the like would not make me sleep as it could not stop these thoughts that had/have a ferocious power to keep me up and worrying. Even today at a lower intensity I still feel negative when I get sleepy or tired although I find it easier to fall asleep.

Issue: Can’t sleep early and awake early affecting the flow of my life and business.
Solution: Clear negative associations of tiredness to insecurity and paranoia; Condition positive and energetic feelings to arise within me as my morning alarm sounds. Reprogram internal body clock .
Goal: Sleep at 10:30pm and awake at 7:30 am everyday
Deadline: 2nd of February

[Fonzy3]

Man I love the effort you are putting towards "self realization" and your commitment to change. It will definately be interesting to see where you are 6 months from now. Happy new year to you as well.

Thanks

Fonzy

[Dee]

As I don’t go out much socialising It would be a bit hard for me to judge my improvements in that domain. One of the main reason I put my NLP training on hold was because of this reason, I need to interact with people to do the excises and experiments.

Don’t bother me am in the “Zone”

The little interactions I have had have been different from the normal ways I would have acted just a month ago. I got a call from a company I was looking to partner with that was a reply to email I sent; it was after 5pm and I had entered I kind of state whereby my brain was not engaged in the moment (it’s hard to explain, sort of a daydream state, or been zoned out) that I find it impossible to break out of at will.

I would usually not answer the phone and let the person leave a message has I would not want to sound stupid over the phone, asking them to repeat themselves and such. But this time I answered it without much internal debate, it a good sign as I would just ran away from dealing with a situation like that and blame it on my mental state to the detriment of my career.

Dream Journal

Is if to reinforce my new behaviour, I had a dream I was been chased by what I assume where government agents. When I had these types of dreams in the past I would just run for my life.

In this dream I had more control, I was more of a James Bond running from evil agents than the everyday mugger running from the police; like I said I had more control over.

My Dream Interpretation

I still seem to be running, I wonder what it is am not dealing with that makes me still keep having dreams of running or been chased.

“Sit Up Straight and don’t hunch you back”

I have also noticed that my posture is improving, before I would have to constantly remind myself to take up proper posture but now I am been reminded that am doing it naturally.



I am not sure if AM5 stage one has a posture script, if posture is part of its Alpha body language programming or if it’s a natural result of a person who thinks better of himself.

Sexual Sentization

It’s been more than 41 days since I last watched porn, masturbated and ejaculated. I now seem to be getting hard on’s that are not porn related, I have just noticed this. I would look at a woman on TV for example and feel blood running to my penis.

Before I stopped I would have to watch a certain porn video to get this same sensation. Soon I will be normal is regards to what and how I get turned on.

Also has I have been clearing a lot of sex issues I have noticed that women seem to be more beautiful that I remember them been before.

I think I used to be critical of looks before, singling out and focusing on imperfects just to save my ego from admitting that I would find someone attractive. Maybe that was a defence mechanism and because I have cleared out many fears and co*k blocking beliefs I don’t need it anymore.

Clearing chakra vows regarding sex

Besides that I just done a chakra clearing and releasing myself of negative vows or promises I made to myself that conflict with my sexual goals. I see most spiritual structures of understanding as just FrameWorks to conceptualize unseen forces and energies.

The same way we draw Sound Waves on paper as a method of understanding and visualizing these invisible influences.

Scope Of My Clearing Workings


So I spend time clearing issues from all aspects of my life that may influence my sex life, love life; intimacy and connection with others in a negative way.

In a system everything affects everything else.

SHORT TERM GOAL #1

The last time I looked at my phone it was 1:30 AM, I woke up at around 11 AM. I noticed that I was ready to go to bed at 10 PM but I conveniently found other things to do until 12 AM, I avoid the negative thoughts and feelings I have when going to bed.

But I did some conditioning work and clearing which my body reacted to in ways that proved it was working and i was making process.

Man I love the effort you are putting towards "self realization" and your commitment to change. It will definately be interesting to see where you are 6 months from now. Happy new year to you as well.
Thanks Fonzy

Yeah it would be scary if it wasn't so amazing your guy's journals help keep me motivated and are the reason I came on here in the first place.

I definitely want to read “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne as I put it on my list it sounds like it would really help a lot, I practice Gratitude and Appreciation but 28 techniques, that sounds like work.

Thanks for the support

[baftis]

I read The Magic, it's not as much "hard work" as it sounds to be. They're pretty easy to do. You just have to commit to sticking to it.

[Dee]

So am guessing that after the 28 days/techniques you choose which ones you would like to use for the rest of your life or rotate between them?

[Dee]

Everyday’s “ThanksGiving Day”

Xmas time got me thinking about gratitude, as people opened they gifts I was aware of some reactions. They ranged from appreciative, to unimpressed, to downright ungrateful.

At times in my life I have given people things and received good feelings back in the form of appreciation and gratitude, this made me want to give more things to those people.

At other times I gave to ungrateful people and I felt as though I had wasted my efforts because the person did not need my gift, help, encouragement etc.

Like Father Like Son

If we are made in Gods image, or if we are the little universe, dynamic mind, however you would like to phrase it, then it must react the same way to gratitude and ungratefulness.

So I will give thanks and praise every day I live. I have cleared ingratitude and gave thanks for the ideal sex life I will have, for all my partners, the relationships and love I will get to share and it really felt awesome.

ADD and My Focus

ADD stands for Attention Deficit Disorder (without the hyperactivity), ADHD means Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and it used when speaking of children or adults that are ADD and display hyperactivity as well.

This is what it’s like having ADD or ADHD:



“I get bored easily, and that is a great motivator,” he said. “I think everybody should have dyslexia and A.D.D.” Founder of Kinko’s, Mr Orfalea

It seems the only way I get to finish projects is if I make myself get obsessed with it so I don’t get distracted with anything else. So sure, I get to work for 18 hours a day, 7 days a week but the project gets competed.

The only problem is I don’t know how to replicate the process of getting obsessed to work 100% of the time. Nor do I have any other solutions at the moment, just a £3000 course called the "Davis Attention Mastery", its said to have a high success rate but I will never know until I try and I don't have that kind of money to try right now.

I got myself into the frenzy before Xmas and I done a lot of work for my business start-up, then family came over and it broke my state of flow and now it’s a struggle to any work done.

I find myself getting a headache after spending more than 90 mins on any business related task, which is really annoying.

Am currently trying to create a state of obsession by tracing the steps I used before to no avail.

Decision Time - Laserlike Focus & Concentration or Balance Your Brain Hemispheres

I don’t know whether to start LF&C next as I move on to stage 2 of AM5 and compete 32 days of BYBH.

Balance Your Brain Hemispheres

Beside been organised more than ever which has meant major improvement to my business productivity as I research, organise and present information in a easy to follow format whereas before it would be tons of data in a document.

I have not noticed any other changes and I don’t know if running it for another 32 days will change anything.

Dream Journal

Yesterday I had a dream a remembered when I was doing clearing on my sleep problems. I was at one of Gary Craig’s F-EFT seminars and I raised my hand and asked him if it could be used successfully on ADD and dyslexia. He replied by asking me to sit on his “magic chair” and the dream ended there.

Interpretation

I need to do some studying on interpreting dreams, they must have invaluable input. It may seem like common-sense but am not sure if am trying to stir myself toward doing clearing on these issues as I work on everything else expect for these ones. Or does it mean I must move on from EFT to F-EFT?, whatever the meaning I will soon gain the mental freedom I have been craving all my life.

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I went to bed at 10pm, done more clearing on sleep related issues, then I started thinking a lot so I used my light and sound machine for 30 mins after I don’t recall what happened.

I woke up at 6:44 AM which means I will get tired earlier today, hopefully this is the first step of my change of sleep pattern, but it’s too soon to tell.

[Dee]

Decision Time - Laserlike Focus & Concentration or Balance Your Brain Hemispheres

I don’t know whether to start LF&C next as I move on to stage 2 of AM5 and compete 32 days of BYBH.

I think AM5 should get priority time-wise (at least 8 hours)... and then you should either run LLFC with it for as much time per day as possible, up to an equal amount of time as you give AM5, while entraining a Beta level of brainwave entrainment every morning for half an hour, and every midday for another half an hour.

Then once you finish AM5, run BYBH for 90 days while continuing Beta entrainment.

How to Become An Alpha Male

I got John Alexander - How to become an Alpha Male audiobook and I have been studying it, intently.

It brought up many issues and emotions, I became upset as I read it because strong feelings of overwhelm came over me. Something in my mind kept telling me I could not do it. At that moment other solutions to get sex started running through my mind.

Everybody know that Sex Sells

All the stress this book created in me made me re-consider the reasons I am doing this for. All I want is SEX (at present) as the mating ritual seems boring to me.

I used to be upfront about my intentions in the past and that wielded a low success rate. The way I saw it was, “we both want sex and we thinking about it, so why waste time courting for hours before we fulfil our desires?”

I then wondered if It would be easier for me to concentrate on making money while other guys spend that same time chasing tail and wasting it in the process. Wouldn’t it be easier to just pay for sex since that would be the main objective, not companionship with women.

To Protect My Ego

It’s amazing how the mind can rationalize fear in a way that protects the ego, I mean it makes sense and will motivate me to make a lot of money but the real reason is fear.

I can’t quit on my goals, and I knew it was going to be a challenge. I will still need to master these skills; I cleared all the anxious feelings I could and tried ti remain positive about the future and who I will transform into.

Introverted dyslectic

My personality type says am introverted, I can’t even hold long mutually interesting conversations with close friends let alone Women!!!!

Then John Alexander says to be non-logical with women, to be exciting and fun to hold they interest and have a good time. Part of me thinks this is impossible for me as it will require a compete personality change.

I think IML’s subs are the best thing that ever happened to me in regards to this issue. In the past all my visualization and affirmations didn't have the impact needed to make those drastic changes.

But the training sets unconsciously install all those things in the book for 8-16 hours every day. If I wasn’t for that fact I don’t think I’ll be as hopeful as I am now.


My Mad Fantasies

I am very imaginative and I think I spend most of my time in the future in my mind. As a kid I would share my fantasies with others and they would start experiencing them with me.

In my teens it was sort of the same, but now as adult’s, people seem to have lost they sense of possibility and wonder. It’s like exploration of the realms of thought, emotion and possibility are incompatible with responsibility.

I would have to find a way to convert that skill for entertainment reasons. I also have a storytelling course to do as part of my marketing training so it may help.

Action Plan: Improve storytelling skills that capture the imagination and hold the attention of listeners (and readers) regardless of age or gender.

Study Plan: Fully read and revise all AM5 recommended books 3 times each

Stages 1, 3 and 6 - John Alexander - How to become an Alpha Male
Stages 2,4 and 5 - David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating

The Manipulation Aspect - Mind Control

Isn’t all this just manipulation, do this for that result, say it like this to influence someone like that?

I had some issues with this as I have always strived to be a good honest person my whole life. I would lie like everyone else but only when there was no other alternative.

All these tips in these books are like lying intentionally and continually until it becomes permanent. And you become a compulsive lair.

Now of course I know this is not true but I still feel as though it is.

Am P*ssed off at My Life

Reading John Alexander’s work I lot of anger and frustration came up, I recalled all those times in my life I thought I was doing the “right” thing from a moral, cultural and religious viewpoint.

Most times I passed on sex I felt like a saint sacrificing carnal pleasures for the good of all mankind. But in truth all my good intentions and actions my whole life where in vain.

This may also make it harder for me to change as I will be admitting to myself that so many people I looked up to where wrong; like my parents and that I was a fool to believe them and take they advise on dating and many other things.

I trying clearing these issues myself but am struggling with reframes

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I got carried away last night and went to bed at 10pm but watched some vids, did hypnosis then some entrainment to fall asleep. Last time I looked at the time was around 1am, I got up at 11am. It’s a weekend and tomorrow is Monday, so tonight I will go to bed earlier.

[Dee]

How Porn Almost Ruined My Life

The wonders of Exotica / The pleasures of Sin

One sunny hot day, I was just doing the normal thing in the internal fantasy world of a 6-7 year old. My parents weren’t home and I don’t remember where the Maid or Gardener where. I noticed the curtains in the living room where closed which was odd in the afternoon of a hot sunny day in the middle of summer.

I burst into the room as it was poorly barricaded and saw images I had never seen before, on the tv screen. I saw man sticking his “pee-pee in and out of a women” as she made loud noises. I had always thought that private parts where for peeing; that God made children and a huge stalk delivered them (kids will believe anything you tell em with a serious face, I swear).

I looked around room and there a brunch of teenage boys all in weird postures and some covering they lions while others where behind the sofas.

The atmosphere let me know immediately that they were doing something that would get them all in trouble. I used my skills of negotiation I had learnt previously from my brothers, times I took the heat for them for favours in return. So I made a deal with them, either they let me in on the fun or I was telling. What would you have done?

It feels like …. Heaven

It just shows how hardwired people are to react to certain stimuli. Here I was a little kid watching these images of people having sex and second by second my little penis started getting harder and harder.

I then copied what I saw the other older guys doing and within a few seconds I got a glimpse of what Heaven feels like.

I remember I barely had any pre-cum first orgasm I ever had, but boy did it feel good, I was hooked, and I promptly added it to my strategies of dealing with unwanted emotions.

The forbidden fruit

I think my sister somehow found out what my new “hobby” was and schooled me on the evils of sex. So now there was something that made me feel good when I was down, it was the most exciting thing I could do when I was bored and it was evil, wrong and bad.

I would agree that a young boy of that age shouldn’t be doing such things but I can’t recall exactly what I was told about the moral value of masturbation, porn and untimely sex.

But all I know is that I could not quit wanking and I felt hellbound every time I did it. “God, why is everything that feels Good to me is bad for me?” I would ask, “I put it there to temp you my son” would be the reply I thought I would get.

The Domino Effect

I started feeling inadequate at an early age, I don’t know weather it was because I would compare myself (penis size) to the ones of the pornstars. But it had a profoundly negative impact on me, from an early age I thought life was what was in the porn flicks of the 80s and 90s (you know those corny storylines).

I viewed women from those filters and thought relationships with females was all about sex. I managed to stop myself from doing many things with the little girls of my age throughout my life given all the opportunities I had. But I thought about it too much as a kid and also about going to hell as a result.

They Stole my innocence and took my pleasure

Needless to say every time I did have real sex with another person I never enjoyed it at all. My partners didn’t react like the porn actresses or make the same sounds of pleasure. I just didn’t see the point of having sex either than just for validation reasons.

As the years went by I went from been able to masturbate from my memory of underwear models to the most embarrassing fetishes around. I even got porn induced erectile dysfunction recently.

I loved and only got sexually excited by moving images of women more than I would by seen the women in real life themselves. The neurological change was made to my brain and I thought it was unchangeable.

The Brain is Plastic

After I became aware that the brain is plastic and can change and does changes on a day to day basis, it made sense why after long periods of not watching porn to cumming to it, it would felt nicer.

I am in the process of rebooting my brain and changing it to the point it becomes normal, eg I can get a hard-on by seen a sexy women in real life or actually cum during sex. And most of all I stop thinking about sex every time I see a women.

Short Term Goal #2 – Brain Reboot (135 days left)

45 days free of porn and masturbation 135 days to complete reboot

http://yourbrainonporn.com/reboot_your_brain

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I went to bed at 9pm did my excises and I woke up at 8am when my alarm rang. No snooze, I have another 20 days if it is to be a new habit for life

[AeJe]

Natural Game Vs Outer and Inner game

I am of course judging a book by its cover, but Ron Williams according to the limited knowledge I have about his Natural Grounding stuff, teaches about real natural game . He say’s that Outer game is based on the Social programming of the time and age and inner game just alights you with that programming.

He states that Natural game is the most powerful of all methods and has the potential to defuse all of women’s social reactions and cause them to act in a natural and balanced way in relation to the natural grounded male.

If 9_% of communication is nonverbal then in the greater skim of things what you say doesn’t matter much. I really cleared the need to follow How To’s , all I need to do is be intune with my intuition that would guide me.

But still, I have the two recommended books from AM5 to read 3 times during the training and knowing me I will probably read all the recommended books out of curiosity; plus everyone has good helpful ideas so it won’t hurt.

But my dilemma is weather I would approach dating from a total spiritual aspect or still master the surface stuff and add those social tools into my toolbox, who knows when they will be handy to have.

when i knew RION through Eben, i got into his stuff and it is totally a mindfreak. BUT it works!! PUA has nothing on NG and stuff that Rion teaches.

it is about ENERGY.

and few of the men-world teachers like Noah Hammond, Cory Skyy, AMP, they all do relate and recommend stuff like NG and Rion's work.

it is still being poo-poo'ed because of so much confusion.

i see it as SPIRITUAL will always be the foundational.

and SKILLS are to be added to walk the tightrope in earth including the social circus.

SKILLS are a part of the journey and what makes your experience YOUR experience. but if the SPIRITUAL content is never awakened and alive, all the skills can only get you so far.

[AeJe]

How Porn Almost Ruined My Life

The wonders of Exotica / The pleasures of Sin

One sunny hot day, I was just doing the normal thing in the internal fantasy world of a 6-7 year old. My parents weren’t home and I don’t remember where the Maid or Gardener where. I noticed the curtains in the living room where closed which was odd in the afternoon of a hot sunny day in the middle of summer.

I burst into the room as it was poorly barricaded and saw images I had never seen before, on the tv screen. I saw man sticking his “pee-pee in and out of a women” as she made loud noises. I had always thought that private parts where for peeing; that God made children and a huge stalk delivered them (kids will believe anything you tell em with a serious face, I swear).

I looked around room and there a brunch of teenage boys all in weird postures and some covering they lions while others where behind the sofas.

The atmosphere let me know immediately that they were doing something that would get them all in trouble. I used my skills of negotiation I had learnt previously from my brothers, times I took the heat for them for favours in return. So I made a deal with them, either they let me in on the fun or I was telling. What would you have done?

It feels like …. Heaven

It just shows how hardwired people are to react to certain stimuli. Here I was a little kid watching these images of people having sex and second by second my little penis started getting harder and harder.

I then copied what I saw the other older guys doing and within a few seconds I got a glimpse of what Heaven feels like.

I remember I barely had any pre-cum first orgasm I ever had, but boy did it feel good, I was hooked, and I promptly added it to my strategies of dealing with unwanted emotions.

The forbidden fruit

I think my sister somehow found out what my new “hobby” was and schooled me on the evils of sex. So now there was something that made me feel good when I was down, it was the most exciting thing I could do when I was bored and it was evil, wrong and bad.

I would agree that a young boy of that age shouldn’t be doing such things but I can’t recall exactly what I was told about the moral value of masturbation, porn and untimely sex.

But all I know is that I could not quit wanking and I felt hellbound every time I did it. “God, why is everything that feels Good to me is bad for me?” I would ask, “I put it there to temp you my son” would be the reply I thought I would get.

The Domino Effect

I started feeling inadequate at an early age, I don’t know weather it was because I would compare myself (penis size) to the ones of the pornstars. But it had a profoundly negative impact on me, from an early age I thought life was what was in the porn flicks of the 80s and 90s (you know those corny storylines).

I viewed women from those filters and thought relationships with females was all about sex. I managed to stop myself from doing many things with the little girls of my age throughout my life given all the opportunities I had. But I thought about it too much as a kid and also about going to hell as a result.

They Stole my innocence and took my pleasure

Needless to say every time I did have real sex with another person I never enjoyed it at all. My partners didn’t react like the porn actresses or make the same sounds of pleasure. I just didn’t see the point of having sex either than just for validation reasons.

As the years went by I went from been able to masturbate from my memory of underwear models to the most embarrassing fetishes around. I even got porn induced erectile dysfunction recently.

I loved and only got sexually excited by moving images of women more than I would by seen the women in real life themselves. The neurological change was made to my brain and I thought it was unchangeable.

The Brain is Plastic

After I became aware that the brain is plastic and can change and does changes on a day to day basis, it made sense why after long periods of not watching porn to cumming to it, it would felt nicer.

I am in the process of rebooting my brain and changing it to the point it becomes normal, eg I can get a hard-on by seen a sexy women in real life or actually cum during sex. And most of all I stop thinking about sex every time I see a women.

Short Term Goal #2 – Brain Reboot (135 days left)

45 days free of porn and masturbation 135 days to complete reboot

http://yourbrainonporn.com/reboot_your_brain

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I went to bed at 9pm did my excises and I woke up at 8am when my alarm rang. No snooze, I have another 20 days if it is to be a new habit for life

thank you for sharing, bruv.

i relate with you.

i lost my innocence to porn as well.

it was an addiction.

i am cheering you on for your reboot.

i got free because of WILD AT HEART by John Eldredge.

that BOOK is a MUST READ for all even those who do not believe in a God, because masturbation/porn is attached to a deep wound.

i also noticed after my first few sessions with Rion's Natural Grounding, i just lost the appetite for porn/masturbation, and it added to girls noticing my energy more.

i also subscribe to his (and Noah's/AMP's) philosophy of FEMININE WOMEN versus western pop-media frenzy "playboy" model types. that energy via NG really helped me defeat the porn.

it feels good and clear.

and to see women in a different vantage point than what 99.9% of PUA ascribe to, and all their crappy philosophies.

Attraction Institute is also a good resource.

[Quote]

There is so much taboo about not discussing sex "until you are a certain age". After I read your journal, and I appreciate so much for sharing your personal story, I am certain that sex and relationships should be discussed by parents before other people do.

In avoiding the subject, it could backfire on the parents' good intentions of "keeping it till later".

Thank you for writing. I'm glad to read that you are determined to create ground-shaking changes, and I wish you well on your journey!

[Dee]

LIFE IS REAL

In love with an illusion

Illusion: Definition
1.
a. An erroneous perception of reality.
b. An erroneous concept or belief.
2. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief.
3. Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception.



Regardless to say I stopped watching TV and listening to popular music of many types for the reason stated above.

My whole life I was lied to, considering the subconscious minds inability to tell the difference between the real and the fake hence visualization works, I feel that a lot of people use that knowledge with indifference.


My porn adventures made me “believe” that was what life was like and there’s 1000000s of young men and women still under those illusions about life (wish I had met a perverted fantasy world girl back in the day, oh well).

Then there’s the normal entertainment industry that have associated Sex and Love to pain, death, tragedy and a host of other "c*ck blocking" beliefs and emotions

Pain Is Love

Titanic , Cleopatra ,Dying Young ,The English Patient ,Cold Mountain ,Dr Zhivago ,City of Angels , The Lakehouse ,Edward Scissorhands , Boys Don't Cry , Cruel Intentions ,Phenomenon , American, Beauty ,Sweet November , Forrest Gump , The Butterfly Effect , Gone With the Wind , Roman Holiday , PS I Love You , Vanilla Sky , Ghost , Wuthering Heights , Becoming Jane , Phantom of, the Opera , The Way We Were , Splendor in the Grass , Casablanca , Brokeback Mountain , Anne of a Thousand Days ,Always , Dangerous Liasons , The Crying Game , Sense & Sensibility , Sid &, Nanc , if only , ……………………………………………

I won’t even get into music.

Am not saying that anyone sat down and planned this just that the effects speak for them selfs, eg in "Romeo and Juliet" that may have just been a great ending to a play.

But after years of that same programming I found that I believed that if someone really loved me they had to sacrifice something to show it.



The Mask of Power

During this month I have changed my perception about a lot of things, before I would get triggered into fear by a beautiful “dolled up” female. I wound put that person on a pedestal as if they were a goddess, give that person compete power over my emotions and behavior.

It was as if all that make up and those trendy clothes and a magical power behind them and I broke the spell, as I no longer “fear” beautiful “dolled up” women.

I no longer place them on a pedestal I seriously see them as ordinary people now. I also have compassion for some because that social program can suck the joy out of life has physical beauty does no last for ever and some would do anything to maintain they social power.

How I See It

I am not judging anyone, I just see things different now. Sure relationships have issues, but I don’t need to seek dramatic signs to prove love, things can just be light hearted, happy and positive. Most of the women I considered to be 10s where wearing masks, and there’s something to be said about natural beauty.

Oh yeah, PIMP Ken in his book wrote a chapter about been able to scout potential in females, I see his point clearly now. Most of all women spend hours dolling them self’s up, to impress and meet guys, how rude would I be not to appreciate that and reward them with an approach.

My new world view

[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPfK4h_lG7g [/video]
Silly but true

it feels good and clear.

and to see women in a different vantage point than what 99.9% of PUA ascribe to, and all their crappy philosophies.

It feels really good, and truly clear

There is so much taboo about not discussing sex "until you are a certain age". After I read your journal, and I appreciate so much for sharing your personal story, I am certain that sex and relationships should be discussed by parents before other people do.

Thank you for writing. I'm glad to read that you are determined to create ground-shaking changes, and I wish you well on your journey!

Unfortunately cultural and other belief systems get in the way and the children learn about life from TV, music, peers, other people. Be grateful if you where raised with no "issues", too few people are these days.

The rest of us have to DISPOSE OF ALL THAT GARBAGE our selves and reprogram all those illusionary beliefs, its fun thought.