03-13-2015, 05:07 PM
Thought I’ll update some more on Stage 3.
IT IS VERY ANNOYING
I wish I could go back to stage 2, am not so sure what Shannon put in stage 3 but I am attracted to women again in a distracting way (well I guess attractive things are distracting by definition). I see them and all I can think about is a want to fuck you. This one women who works in the office building, she has a huge and nice arse for a white girl and she isn’t afraid to show it off.
In stage two I thought
“Nice leather pants, she has a huge arse.”
Then go about my business,
In stage 3 am like
“I bet it would feel good to slide my **** in her ****, she looks like she’ll like it (then think about it a few more times during the day).
Well that’s just one example, today in the train I was staring at women like a lion stating at an antelope or something, I just want to devour them.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Big change but annoying.
Before I would probably be thinking more romantically type thoughts and how precious the particular women is. Weird thing, there isn’t any major bodily reactions it’s more thought based, there isn’t much feeling either.
Am more like a caveman “Me man, you women, man was made to f**k women, women was made to look attractive for man, me want to f**k you”.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Conflict of interest
So as I have started accepting myself more, am okay with been an introvert. So today in the train I run that pattern again as I thought I was becoming needy again, and I discovered, no I don’t want to talk to women, I don’t like talking to people much am in my hyper focus ADD state and all that’s in my head is WINNING, not a single brain cell in my head cares about small talk and other BS chit chat.
I don’t want to fuck them (maybe am in denial or maybe I just like the idea of things but don’t enjoy the actual things that much), seems I like looking at nice things, which is fucked up to just stare at pretty women and do nothing else, or engage in eye contact until they get bored. My brains probably still not fully recovered from porn, when I start imaging f**king the women, I only feel a little tickle down there, nothing motivating enough.
OUTCOME,
Needing women for sex is still been needy and I bet if I talk to them that’s will be my outcome not to be friends or much and the scripted did say non neediness as women like smell it from a mile away. Is it stage 3 or is my sex drive kicking in for some other reason , soon I will see. I was more happy on stage 2 tho.
IT IS VERY ANNOYING
I wish I could go back to stage 2, am not so sure what Shannon put in stage 3 but I am attracted to women again in a distracting way (well I guess attractive things are distracting by definition). I see them and all I can think about is a want to fuck you. This one women who works in the office building, she has a huge and nice arse for a white girl and she isn’t afraid to show it off.
In stage two I thought
“Nice leather pants, she has a huge arse.”
Then go about my business,
In stage 3 am like
“I bet it would feel good to slide my **** in her ****, she looks like she’ll like it (then think about it a few more times during the day).
Well that’s just one example, today in the train I was staring at women like a lion stating at an antelope or something, I just want to devour them.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Big change but annoying.
Before I would probably be thinking more romantically type thoughts and how precious the particular women is. Weird thing, there isn’t any major bodily reactions it’s more thought based, there isn’t much feeling either.
Am more like a caveman “Me man, you women, man was made to f**k women, women was made to look attractive for man, me want to f**k you”.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Conflict of interest
So as I have started accepting myself more, am okay with been an introvert. So today in the train I run that pattern again as I thought I was becoming needy again, and I discovered, no I don’t want to talk to women, I don’t like talking to people much am in my hyper focus ADD state and all that’s in my head is WINNING, not a single brain cell in my head cares about small talk and other BS chit chat.
I don’t want to fuck them (maybe am in denial or maybe I just like the idea of things but don’t enjoy the actual things that much), seems I like looking at nice things, which is fucked up to just stare at pretty women and do nothing else, or engage in eye contact until they get bored. My brains probably still not fully recovered from porn, when I start imaging f**king the women, I only feel a little tickle down there, nothing motivating enough.
OUTCOME,
Needing women for sex is still been needy and I bet if I talk to them that’s will be my outcome not to be friends or much and the scripted did say non neediness as women like smell it from a mile away. Is it stage 3 or is my sex drive kicking in for some other reason , soon I will see. I was more happy on stage 2 tho.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
