01-09-2015, 05:11 PM
AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 19?
-I think I may have skipped a day of my life not sure. Anyway I managed to sleep good last night and I woke up at around 6am like I programmed up self to do, but I wouldn’t get out of bed, told myself I needed to catch up on loss hours.
-I was so excited by the results I got with my ADD stimulate that I impulsively spent over £200 on supplements. I don’t know what I was thinking at the time, when I research all/most supplements and medications that can help with ADD, I created a wishlist now am looking at all those pills and I can’t make sense of it.
-I think I placebo’d myself into the results I got with the ADD stimulate, because the following two days it didn’t work so well. It just made me my metal fog more clear to me in addition to taking away my appetite, I had to (force) eat when I got weak. I just felt my normal fog and ascentsmindedness but will a restless feeling of I need to get shit done and I need to get shit done now. I also kept asking my self is this thought important or is what am doing important.
-I don’t know whether to be disappointed or not. I called my business partner and I was ready to jump into the project again, now I feel as tho it will be the same thing all over again, it’s really frustrating on the other hand it could be an indication that meds do work and I just need to find the right one (with Doctors help). If it was just the placebo and I do have it in me to focus like that then life is a joke and many of us don’t get it.
-I decided to make multiply journals in various communities instead of trying to fit everything in here , I’ll complain about my ADD in an ADD forum , post my Field Reports in a PUA forum and so on. Just keep Subliminal tracking for here, good idea? Last of these long posts.
AM6 STUFF
-On another note, I got a haircut and the guy at the door said it was £8, I waited while under the influence of the stimulate, not daydreaming as usual but in a daydream state planning the future (hours and days). During the haircut I thought I heard him say it will be £20 pound after a convo we had, in my mind I was like “he must think am stupid, am I stupid………….” As it goes I noticed I was activity looking for negativity and the stimulate make me aware of my intentions and actions. I get to the till and I give the same barber £10 and wait for my change, he says the cut is £10 and said your boss said £8 he said he cut my little coattee so that was £2 extra. I just froze as many different scenarios played in my head, like speaking to his boss, asking to see the price chart, that sort of thing, I felt like I was been ripped off. A part of me was like “am I going to cause a scene for £2 and another part of me was like Alpha males don’t get punk’d even for £0.1
-After my haircut I was indecisive as shit, I didn’t know what suit I wanted, I would just zone out during trying suits on and having the “tailor” tell me what to do. I wasn’t even thinking about women or nothing.
The Awkward BETA MALE getting hot p*ussy????and not you????
Anyway I was in the train with my bags on the seat, it got to a station were many people got into the train. I decided to not make room, I thought to myself alpha males space is an alpha males space on some animal treorial BS (just been an A HOLE maybe). Then I hear an attractive women sat in front of me shout in a demeaning way and gesture at a man to sit where my bags where, I unconsciously moved my bags, he sat down. Then a lot or people got off the train including someone say beside her. She then “shouted“ and gestured again at him to move across the train from my side of it to hers. He sat down and I had a chance to obverse him. She was hot so I kept looking at her as I felt attracted but it was probably my mistress porn brain cell were activated (porn is a hell of a programmer). So she started kissing him and stuff probably letting me know she was taken. Then they jumped out the train and I thought to myself, what’s wrong with me? Telling myself I need to be an Alpha male, have money, sexy body, good clothes and there is was an awkward BetaMale practically getting molested in front of my eyes. Sometimes all the seduction community teachings seem subjective.
- Another NEW thing I noticed is eye contact, I did not look away from anyone today, I even had a staring contest with some stubone women and WON.
- Also I seem to get pissed off at myself when I am the one to give way on the pavement, I mean why must I move? What gives them the right of way? I have been standing my ground and people seem to move even bigger males. If you’ve ever watched “First of the north star” you know what it means when he said “the heavens laugh when I stray from the path”.
That’s all for today folks.
-I think I may have skipped a day of my life not sure. Anyway I managed to sleep good last night and I woke up at around 6am like I programmed up self to do, but I wouldn’t get out of bed, told myself I needed to catch up on loss hours.
-I was so excited by the results I got with my ADD stimulate that I impulsively spent over £200 on supplements. I don’t know what I was thinking at the time, when I research all/most supplements and medications that can help with ADD, I created a wishlist now am looking at all those pills and I can’t make sense of it.
-I think I placebo’d myself into the results I got with the ADD stimulate, because the following two days it didn’t work so well. It just made me my metal fog more clear to me in addition to taking away my appetite, I had to (force) eat when I got weak. I just felt my normal fog and ascentsmindedness but will a restless feeling of I need to get shit done and I need to get shit done now. I also kept asking my self is this thought important or is what am doing important.
-I don’t know whether to be disappointed or not. I called my business partner and I was ready to jump into the project again, now I feel as tho it will be the same thing all over again, it’s really frustrating on the other hand it could be an indication that meds do work and I just need to find the right one (with Doctors help). If it was just the placebo and I do have it in me to focus like that then life is a joke and many of us don’t get it.
-I decided to make multiply journals in various communities instead of trying to fit everything in here , I’ll complain about my ADD in an ADD forum , post my Field Reports in a PUA forum and so on. Just keep Subliminal tracking for here, good idea? Last of these long posts.
AM6 STUFF
-On another note, I got a haircut and the guy at the door said it was £8, I waited while under the influence of the stimulate, not daydreaming as usual but in a daydream state planning the future (hours and days). During the haircut I thought I heard him say it will be £20 pound after a convo we had, in my mind I was like “he must think am stupid, am I stupid………….” As it goes I noticed I was activity looking for negativity and the stimulate make me aware of my intentions and actions. I get to the till and I give the same barber £10 and wait for my change, he says the cut is £10 and said your boss said £8 he said he cut my little coattee so that was £2 extra. I just froze as many different scenarios played in my head, like speaking to his boss, asking to see the price chart, that sort of thing, I felt like I was been ripped off. A part of me was like “am I going to cause a scene for £2 and another part of me was like Alpha males don’t get punk’d even for £0.1
-After my haircut I was indecisive as shit, I didn’t know what suit I wanted, I would just zone out during trying suits on and having the “tailor” tell me what to do. I wasn’t even thinking about women or nothing.
The Awkward BETA MALE getting hot p*ussy????and not you????
Anyway I was in the train with my bags on the seat, it got to a station were many people got into the train. I decided to not make room, I thought to myself alpha males space is an alpha males space on some animal treorial BS (just been an A HOLE maybe). Then I hear an attractive women sat in front of me shout in a demeaning way and gesture at a man to sit where my bags where, I unconsciously moved my bags, he sat down. Then a lot or people got off the train including someone say beside her. She then “shouted“ and gestured again at him to move across the train from my side of it to hers. He sat down and I had a chance to obverse him. She was hot so I kept looking at her as I felt attracted but it was probably my mistress porn brain cell were activated (porn is a hell of a programmer). So she started kissing him and stuff probably letting me know she was taken. Then they jumped out the train and I thought to myself, what’s wrong with me? Telling myself I need to be an Alpha male, have money, sexy body, good clothes and there is was an awkward BetaMale practically getting molested in front of my eyes. Sometimes all the seduction community teachings seem subjective.
- Another NEW thing I noticed is eye contact, I did not look away from anyone today, I even had a staring contest with some stubone women and WON.
- Also I seem to get pissed off at myself when I am the one to give way on the pavement, I mean why must I move? What gives them the right of way? I have been standing my ground and people seem to move even bigger males. If you’ve ever watched “First of the north star” you know what it means when he said “the heavens laugh when I stray from the path”.
That’s all for today folks.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
