01-02-2015, 12:22 PM
AM6 STAGE 1 - Day 13 EPIC Sh*T
Today was the dawn of a new beginning for me. I dropped out of many college courses, I passed on so many jobs that needed a lot of human interaction for the solitude of a warehouse, I passed up many dates and relationships, Why?, you may ask; ALL because I lived in fear of what people would think of me.
They say a person has about 60-90k thoughts a day right, over 60% of mine were mind reading people in the past, present and in the future, pretty sad way to live, always thinking that people are thinking your worst fears about you. At the mercy of people’s approval, like a slave to the rules of society, culture, religion, but within dreaming of the freedom to be released from it all and be my own person.
And today ladies and gentlemen I reached the outer limits of that goal I did something that a few months ago I would think impossible if you asked me. I clued myself to a chair in a train and I tapped away my fears as I SAID the re-frames OUT A LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, yes a lot of people could hear me word for word in what seemed like a grand library at the time.
![[Image: 30ro7wz.jpg]](http://i60.tinypic.com/30ro7wz.jpg)
Weird thing happened, NOTHING WEIRD happen. Just some people looking, others trying to look away, some annoyed expressions, some little girl staring hard, some guy looking in admiration, some teenage girls laughing, some women looking at me as if they in heat, some people wishing they had the balls to do so, some other people thinking am crazy, others wondering what the f*ck am doing, others knowing what am doing instinctively and not been bothered. (I started to wonder why all the fear)
I looked people in their eyes as well, I swear, I had some sort of swagger afterward like this energy that women could sense, walking around like I own the tube station. It’s truly AWESOME, I had never felt so comfortable around people in my entire life, Ave never feel so comfortable period.
Before my mind processor would crash as I would try to keep track of everyone I saw and walk around in they defocused state, when speaking in public I would try to keep track of everyone and lose the whole plot but now I can ignore certain people and concentrate on the tasks at hand.
![[Image: 20zeofd.jpg]](http://i57.tinypic.com/20zeofd.jpg)
It has to be the sub’s OVERCOME FEAR script, I just want to face my fears all of them, am looking for more and more extreme stuff to do all the time now. I feel so much more grounded like I don’t even need a gorgeous women to validate my worth, or I don’t need to cover myself in an expensive mask of clothing, Jewry and scents to feel better about who I am, am like F*CK WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME, IT DON’T MATTER, unless you pay my bills, then and only then will it matter. Of course I want the finer things in life but NOW not to impress other people and win them over, just cause the primitive hunter male in me needs some goals to chase, conquer and feed off, plus everyone loves shinny things, its just the human condition.
![[Image: 30w3ywm.jpg]](http://i58.tinypic.com/30w3ywm.jpg)
Side note am studying cold reading so I visited some Indian guy for experience and asked him to teach me, he recons in their tradition they study for 6 years, he done some numerology, sort of dowsing and palm reading. A lot of hits and a few misses, but he recons I must focus on ONE WOMEN, and that my money line in my hand says; income £10 outgoings £20 or something on those lines but after the age of 28 for 7 years the stars will be on my side. Also he said about some accidents i had in the past and that I will have another this year, spot on about the past and i'll prove him wrong this year, am not driving
![[Image: 14946m0.jpg]](http://i62.tinypic.com/14946m0.jpg)
Anyway I have to keep pushing myself on a daily basis , I really NEED this subs full results and am not going to sit on my arse and wait for results. He “WHO DARES WINS” is our motto. I have always been intimated by black folks so I went to a black and Middle eastern area of London at night to tap away my social anxieties too, no point been confident around White folks and Asians but p*ssy around Blacks and Muslims.
“You Are Dying, and your World is a Lie” this was my days reading on the way to do battle with my demons. Ave attached it for you reading pleasure, ENJOY.
Today was the dawn of a new beginning for me. I dropped out of many college courses, I passed on so many jobs that needed a lot of human interaction for the solitude of a warehouse, I passed up many dates and relationships, Why?, you may ask; ALL because I lived in fear of what people would think of me.
They say a person has about 60-90k thoughts a day right, over 60% of mine were mind reading people in the past, present and in the future, pretty sad way to live, always thinking that people are thinking your worst fears about you. At the mercy of people’s approval, like a slave to the rules of society, culture, religion, but within dreaming of the freedom to be released from it all and be my own person.
And today ladies and gentlemen I reached the outer limits of that goal I did something that a few months ago I would think impossible if you asked me. I clued myself to a chair in a train and I tapped away my fears as I SAID the re-frames OUT A LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, yes a lot of people could hear me word for word in what seemed like a grand library at the time.
Weird thing happened, NOTHING WEIRD happen. Just some people looking, others trying to look away, some annoyed expressions, some little girl staring hard, some guy looking in admiration, some teenage girls laughing, some women looking at me as if they in heat, some people wishing they had the balls to do so, some other people thinking am crazy, others wondering what the f*ck am doing, others knowing what am doing instinctively and not been bothered. (I started to wonder why all the fear)
I looked people in their eyes as well, I swear, I had some sort of swagger afterward like this energy that women could sense, walking around like I own the tube station. It’s truly AWESOME, I had never felt so comfortable around people in my entire life, Ave never feel so comfortable period.
Before my mind processor would crash as I would try to keep track of everyone I saw and walk around in they defocused state, when speaking in public I would try to keep track of everyone and lose the whole plot but now I can ignore certain people and concentrate on the tasks at hand.
It has to be the sub’s OVERCOME FEAR script, I just want to face my fears all of them, am looking for more and more extreme stuff to do all the time now. I feel so much more grounded like I don’t even need a gorgeous women to validate my worth, or I don’t need to cover myself in an expensive mask of clothing, Jewry and scents to feel better about who I am, am like F*CK WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME, IT DON’T MATTER, unless you pay my bills, then and only then will it matter. Of course I want the finer things in life but NOW not to impress other people and win them over, just cause the primitive hunter male in me needs some goals to chase, conquer and feed off, plus everyone loves shinny things, its just the human condition.
Side note am studying cold reading so I visited some Indian guy for experience and asked him to teach me, he recons in their tradition they study for 6 years, he done some numerology, sort of dowsing and palm reading. A lot of hits and a few misses, but he recons I must focus on ONE WOMEN, and that my money line in my hand says; income £10 outgoings £20 or something on those lines but after the age of 28 for 7 years the stars will be on my side. Also he said about some accidents i had in the past and that I will have another this year, spot on about the past and i'll prove him wrong this year, am not driving
Anyway I have to keep pushing myself on a daily basis , I really NEED this subs full results and am not going to sit on my arse and wait for results. He “WHO DARES WINS” is our motto. I have always been intimated by black folks so I went to a black and Middle eastern area of London at night to tap away my social anxieties too, no point been confident around White folks and Asians but p*ssy around Blacks and Muslims.
“You Are Dying, and your World is a Lie” this was my days reading on the way to do battle with my demons. Ave attached it for you reading pleasure, ENJOY.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
