02-02-2014, 04:33 AM
Well I was on one yesterday, I have to deal with my learning anxieties I have no problem approaching women but give me a book with a skill I would learn from it and I have” panic attacks” followed by depression. If I get over that I will be unstoppable, in achieving my goals.
The day after
Anyway I didn’t want to wake up in the morning I just wanted to lay there and feel sorry for myself all day, so I eventually woke up at 12 and I went to the poetry meet up anyway. I was reading my peace about an angelic love story triangle and it seemed to turn this one women on, she then read one of her poem about gods seducing her with Greek myths init.
And we seemed to hit it off, she’s a teacher like 6 years older than me. After the meeting in a café we went to a pub with a few other people and we began talking about love, intimacy she told me she used to have an open relationship and that’s she’s bi.
My sex coach got me doing some techniques to focus on the positives as I was highly critical of everything and expected every women to look like a porn star, so I will say she looks like the girl next door and we have lots of things in comment. What’s interesting is she suggested in ways we could be fuck buddies a few times and grown people don’t need to play games or beat around the bush but I still didn’t know how to or have the balls to try anything and seen how I don’t drink anymore that’s a comfort zone I will have to push thru using will power.
Sweet, I’ve been out twice in the past week and I have 3 women’s numbers that are sexually interested in me I sense a trend coming on, they don’t match my criteria but practice makes improvement.
Stage 2 Impact
This stage has brought out some deep rooted issues, the last time I remember having suicidal thoughts was years ago, and it’s ridiculous as life’s filled with changes and if you keep trying and improving you’ll soon make it. well I guess my self-esteem will raise with more successes and more successes depends upon trying.
I now feel like a castrated bull, as in my drives and motivations and low, although the negative thoughts have seem to have subsided but I still feel like something has been taken out of me and left a vacuum. I wonder if it’s this mental renovation thing I titled this stage and if the next stages will reattach my balls.
The day after
Anyway I didn’t want to wake up in the morning I just wanted to lay there and feel sorry for myself all day, so I eventually woke up at 12 and I went to the poetry meet up anyway. I was reading my peace about an angelic love story triangle and it seemed to turn this one women on, she then read one of her poem about gods seducing her with Greek myths init.
And we seemed to hit it off, she’s a teacher like 6 years older than me. After the meeting in a café we went to a pub with a few other people and we began talking about love, intimacy she told me she used to have an open relationship and that’s she’s bi.
My sex coach got me doing some techniques to focus on the positives as I was highly critical of everything and expected every women to look like a porn star, so I will say she looks like the girl next door and we have lots of things in comment. What’s interesting is she suggested in ways we could be fuck buddies a few times and grown people don’t need to play games or beat around the bush but I still didn’t know how to or have the balls to try anything and seen how I don’t drink anymore that’s a comfort zone I will have to push thru using will power.
Sweet, I’ve been out twice in the past week and I have 3 women’s numbers that are sexually interested in me I sense a trend coming on, they don’t match my criteria but practice makes improvement.
Stage 2 Impact
This stage has brought out some deep rooted issues, the last time I remember having suicidal thoughts was years ago, and it’s ridiculous as life’s filled with changes and if you keep trying and improving you’ll soon make it. well I guess my self-esteem will raise with more successes and more successes depends upon trying.
I now feel like a castrated bull, as in my drives and motivations and low, although the negative thoughts have seem to have subsided but I still feel like something has been taken out of me and left a vacuum. I wonder if it’s this mental renovation thing I titled this stage and if the next stages will reattach my balls.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
