01-10-2014, 01:48 PM
Fear and Faith
Been clearing up my fears of competition, for resources and women and how abundance plays into it all. I also noticed that I have been using all my resources to recreate the same day year in, year out, it almost as though I am afraid of new experiences.
Every time something comes along that may change my life, I destroy it. Fear of the unknown, fear of change or attachment to the past? It will give in soon.
Action Plan: Try to do or experience something new every day, allow the fears and issues to come up then clear them all.
Giving and Receiving
Done some work on been a good receiver of money, gifts and sex too. I have also been tapping on the belief “Am Stupid” for the last 5 days, it has been a trigger word for me and I want to neutralize it completely.
First Session with a Sex Expert
I can’t believe how nervous I got. I sent an email before because It would have been easier to write about that embarrassing problem rather than speak on it. I would have beat around the bush for ages.
So she came online we spoke for a second and she went off to read it. During that 10 or so minutes I started creating a lot of nervous energy, (I still have to dissect the process I use).
Then there were problems with the connection she could not hear me even though I could see and hear her. Some random thought suggested to me that she read the email and she’s cutting me off (fear of rejection?), that’s a smart way to do it. Then another thought that maybe the universe, God or a part of me is causing this, any way I ended up using my phone and we began the session.
Tapping really proves itself when done in the heat of the moment. So managed to get my nerves in order but the session went downhill in my mind. I failed to speak my mind, and the questions made me feel like it was a test and there where right or wrong answers.
On the positive I should be proud of the progress I have made. Before I would be thinking a lot about what she thinks of me, what a loser I am for even needing her help. Now it was more of me not speaking my mind and feeling nervous as a conditioning or out of habit (and a few minor issues).
Also It seems that that same “conditioning” makes it difficult for me to slow down relax and sort the 1000s of images and feelings in my mind into easy to understand sentences. Feels as though am been rushed or am waiting for someone to cut me up, even when am paying someone to listen to me, funny huh.
HomeWork
I have some assignments for the week that will mean me moving out my comfort zone. Plus I will work on my communication anxieties, my brother put it in my head that am a bad communicator and I now speak to people like children or go on more than necessary in my attempts to be clear.
Points to tap:
Racial based inferiority complex (am just been honest)
Relax when speaking and listening, taking my time to explain and increasing comfort levels
Am a bad communicator
It’s really f*cked weird in a awesome way, I don’t care what she thinks of me or how the session went down I am only pi**sed at myself for all the things I wanted to say but didn’t. And all the things I did say that I thought where the right things to say.
Note to self: Improve on your small-talk and put effort in it.
Been clearing up my fears of competition, for resources and women and how abundance plays into it all. I also noticed that I have been using all my resources to recreate the same day year in, year out, it almost as though I am afraid of new experiences.
Every time something comes along that may change my life, I destroy it. Fear of the unknown, fear of change or attachment to the past? It will give in soon.
Action Plan: Try to do or experience something new every day, allow the fears and issues to come up then clear them all.
Giving and Receiving
Done some work on been a good receiver of money, gifts and sex too. I have also been tapping on the belief “Am Stupid” for the last 5 days, it has been a trigger word for me and I want to neutralize it completely.
First Session with a Sex Expert
I can’t believe how nervous I got. I sent an email before because It would have been easier to write about that embarrassing problem rather than speak on it. I would have beat around the bush for ages.
So she came online we spoke for a second and she went off to read it. During that 10 or so minutes I started creating a lot of nervous energy, (I still have to dissect the process I use).
Then there were problems with the connection she could not hear me even though I could see and hear her. Some random thought suggested to me that she read the email and she’s cutting me off (fear of rejection?), that’s a smart way to do it. Then another thought that maybe the universe, God or a part of me is causing this, any way I ended up using my phone and we began the session.
Tapping really proves itself when done in the heat of the moment. So managed to get my nerves in order but the session went downhill in my mind. I failed to speak my mind, and the questions made me feel like it was a test and there where right or wrong answers.
On the positive I should be proud of the progress I have made. Before I would be thinking a lot about what she thinks of me, what a loser I am for even needing her help. Now it was more of me not speaking my mind and feeling nervous as a conditioning or out of habit (and a few minor issues).
Also It seems that that same “conditioning” makes it difficult for me to slow down relax and sort the 1000s of images and feelings in my mind into easy to understand sentences. Feels as though am been rushed or am waiting for someone to cut me up, even when am paying someone to listen to me, funny huh.
HomeWork
I have some assignments for the week that will mean me moving out my comfort zone. Plus I will work on my communication anxieties, my brother put it in my head that am a bad communicator and I now speak to people like children or go on more than necessary in my attempts to be clear.
Points to tap:
Racial based inferiority complex (am just been honest)
Relax when speaking and listening, taking my time to explain and increasing comfort levels
Am a bad communicator
It’s really f*cked weird in a awesome way, I don’t care what she thinks of me or how the session went down I am only pi**sed at myself for all the things I wanted to say but didn’t. And all the things I did say that I thought where the right things to say.
Note to self: Improve on your small-talk and put effort in it.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
