04-21-2019, 11:40 AM
It's been a while since I posted. Intense resistance had consumed me since starting the hybrid format 3 weeks ago. Crawled back into my comfortable shell as my demons, insecurities and fears bubbled to the surface.
Junk food, porn and video games continue to be my main distractions to facing this resistance. Productivity absolute zero.
I can sense that I am playing the victim role, thinking that I don't have power to change, opting into autopilot and making little to no effort to consciously push myself and challenge these deeply embedded limiting beliefs.
I've been releasing a lot of past traumas. I can't help but just cry sometimes, especially on weekends. Seems like hybrid is penetrating my psyche to depths I didn't think would be possible with subs. E3 Doing a good job.
Suicidal thoughts also coming and going. I'm not bothered and seldom plan to take action on them.
Junk food, porn and video games continue to be my main distractions to facing this resistance. Productivity absolute zero.
I can sense that I am playing the victim role, thinking that I don't have power to change, opting into autopilot and making little to no effort to consciously push myself and challenge these deeply embedded limiting beliefs.
I've been releasing a lot of past traumas. I can't help but just cry sometimes, especially on weekends. Seems like hybrid is penetrating my psyche to depths I didn't think would be possible with subs. E3 Doing a good job.
Suicidal thoughts also coming and going. I'm not bothered and seldom plan to take action on them.
