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zero_force
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Registration Date: 07-28-2017
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Local Time: 06-03-2020 at 02:36 PM
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LTU5 Journal - The hope 1
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LTU5 Journal - The hope Men's Journals
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First night (1st day of 1st run)
Veeery weird dream. I saw that my parents adopted me instead of being their child. How that made me feel? I remember I didn't cope with it well. I was angry if I remember correctly. I was feeling angry because I was ridiculed into thinking I am their child and not adopted, thinking that being adopted lowers my self-worth a ton.

I went to sleep with a full blown flu taking over but instead recovered. Not fully but I was in a great state to go out in the freezing cold. With my medical history this is weird. I remember thinking if it's a good idea to even start LTU today as I thought of letting my body relax as much as possible and use all resources to fight the flu.


Day 2-4
Self-esteem is getting higher and higher.


Day 6 (2nd day of break)
I felt the self-esteem effects to wear off totally. Experiencing this change was intense as it happened so quickly. I surrendered to it, cried, admitted that I am a failure, not good enough. Even though that was the situation, I liked surrendering, it was a bit liberating.

Note to self: Subliminal programs are supposed to bring results in the long-term. Be patient.


Day 7 (1st day of 2nd run)
I had another dream that I keep seeing from time to time which is real event from the past when I was at the university. It was back then that I at some point during my studies found myself misjudging the volume of studying material I had to study and understanding that I am screwed as I will not make it in time to study everything. I was in panic back then. 
This time the dream was milder than other times but still affected me, made me worried and woke up in fear and anxiety. Every time I wake up from this dream I try to remember that this is over, it is done. This time I don't remember what kind of information was provided in the dream but it was one piece of information that made me worry less. Even though the information that this is in the past, it ended would undo all of the worry.

Self esteem is back at good levels.


Question. In LTU5 do we strictly follow the 4 days ON, 2 days break instruction? I am asking as the self esteem boost wears off during day 5 and totally on day 6. Of course it is too early for a temporary long-term or permanent effect of high self-esteem however I am just wondering if this is an indication I could be doing just one day of break.