LTU5 Journal - The hope

[zero_force]

First night (1st day of 1st run)
Veeery weird dream. I saw that my parents adopted me instead of being their child. How that made me feel? I remember I didn't cope with it well. I was angry if I remember correctly. I was feeling angry because I was ridiculed into thinking I am their child and not adopted, thinking that being adopted lowers my self-worth a ton.

I went to sleep with a full blown flu taking over but instead recovered. Not fully but I was in a great state to go out in the freezing cold. With my medical history this is weird. I remember thinking if it's a good idea to even start LTU today as I thought of letting my body relax as much as possible and use all resources to fight the flu.


Day 2-4
Self-esteem is getting higher and higher.


Day 6 (2nd day of break)
I felt the self-esteem effects to wear off totally. Experiencing this change was intense as it happened so quickly. I surrendered to it, cried, admitted that I am a failure, not good enough. Even though that was the situation, I liked surrendering, it was a bit liberating.

Note to self: Subliminal programs are supposed to bring results in the long-term. Be patient.


Day 7 (1st day of 2nd run)
I had another dream that I keep seeing from time to time which is real event from the past when I was at the university. It was back then that I at some point during my studies found myself misjudging the volume of studying material I had to study and understanding that I am screwed as I will not make it in time to study everything. I was in panic back then. 
This time the dream was milder than other times but still affected me, made me worried and woke up in fear and anxiety. Every time I wake up from this dream I try to remember that this is over, it is done. This time I don't remember what kind of information was provided in the dream but it was one piece of information that made me worry less. Even though the information that this is in the past, it ended would undo all of the worry.

Self esteem is back at good levels.


Question. In LTU5 do we strictly follow the 4 days ON, 2 days break instruction? I am asking as the self esteem boost wears off during day 5 and totally on day 6. Of course it is too early for a temporary long-term or permanent effect of high self-esteem however I am just wondering if this is an indication I could be doing just one day of break.

[Shannon]

In this case you're seeing the effects the program is having in real time before it has finished changing your underlying belief structures. The confidence is changing while you have the program script dominant. Over time the program script will change the underlying beliefs and they will become aligned with the script and it's goals. This that you're seeing happen in the early stages is normal. Continue using the stated days on and off.

[zero_force]

Day 8 (2nd day of 2nd cycle) 
I did notice it before, I wasn't sure if this is really going on but I am now sure. I am more alpha and assertive than when I was doing the AM program just 2 weeks or so ago. I just figured this out today as I got more alpha to even my own self, to my own thoughts. And this is great.

Day 9 (3rd day of 2nd cycle)
The change I noticed and I love and I hope it stays forever is that today I am consciously more focused on my goals. I noticed this starting yesterday but its now on a new peak. First time I am that much effortlessly focused on my goals. I have set 3 goals as USLM instructions and I am on autopilot ignoring all that has nothing to do with the goals. It's amazing. I now understand how high achievers do miracles with this... skill! Even procrastination is blocked big time!

Day 11 (2nd day of BREAK)
The effect of being focused on my goals and not procrastinating vanished. Seems to be experiencing the same effects of high self-esteem/worth going away during the break.

Day 13 (1st day of 3rd cycle)
I have set three goals because of the USLM. It seems that the program is pushing me hard to do whatever needs to accomplish the second goal. There was a solution all along but it is very painful both emotionally and physically for me but seems to be the solution.

Question. If I undergo a surgery (one that you get full anesthesia and stay in the clinic for a day or two), is it better to stop listening to the program for some days?

[Shannon]

What you're reporting is what I call the "tidal effect". You execute the program, and notice what it is doing, and then the effect goes away or reverses. Then over time, it comes back, and the cycle repeats, with each "high tide" being a bit higher and longer and each "low tide" being less low and shorter over time.

This happens when you execute, and the execution causes some part of you subconsciously to respond with sufficient fear to motivate it to override the parts that are executing. It dominates for a time, calms down, and relaxes because the "threat" is gone. When it relaxes, the executing parts dominate and it is triggered again.

This repeats until there is no threat perception and insufficient motivation to override the executing parts of the subconscious, and all you get is the goal result. Effectively, you have trained the fearful part to understand there is nothing to fear, so it stops interrupting.

As for your pointed question, if you can continue to listen properly and you want to, go ahead. It will slow down your recovery time somewhat because your subconscious will not be focused on your healing. And if you want to focus on your healing for a while... go ahead. That will slow down your achievement of the program goals because there is an interruption. The choice is entirely up to you.

Personally, I would be running MHS after a surgery.

[zero_force]

What you're reporting is what I call the "tidal effect".  You execute the program, and notice what it is doing, and then the effect goes away or reverses.  Then over time, it comes back, and the cycle repeats, with each "high tide" being a bit higher and longer and each "low tide" being less low and shorter over time.  

This happens when you execute, and the execution causes some part of you subconsciously to respond with sufficient fear to motivate it to override the parts that are executing.  It dominates for a time, calms down, and relaxes because the "threat" is gone.  When it relaxes, the executing parts dominate and it is triggered again.  

This repeats until there is no threat perception and insufficient motivation to override the executing parts of the subconscious, and all you get is the goal result.  Effectively, you have trained the fearful part to understand there is nothing to fear, so it stops interrupting.

As for your pointed question, if you can continue to listen properly and you want to, go ahead.  It will slow down your recovery time somewhat because your subconscious will not be focused on your healing.  And if you want to focus on your healing for a while... go ahead.  That will slow down your achievement of the program goals because there is an interruption.  The choice is entirely up to you.

Personally, I would be running MHS after a surgery.

Thanks for the reply @Shannon. In fact I would love to run MHS as well but I remember in the past that there was a concern for people with auto-immune diseases and I have a ton of them and some are severe so I decided to not try it just in case.

[zero_force]

Day 15 (3rd day of 3rd cycle)
I don't know how I didn't connect that earlier but my sex drive has been off the roof the last week or so. It is very weird, first time I am feeling like that and it is obvious that comes from this program. I can't find any other reason why this happens!

Day 17 (1st day of BREAK)
There are situations going on in my life right now that are of great concern, causing me anxiety and terror. On such cases I feel terrorized vulnerable (in a bad way) and acting like a victim. For some reason I now just feel empowered and I noticed the pattern going to occur and took steps to empower and distant myself even more. That's a relief knowing how I would act before. My mind and body (especially the nervous system) is partying right now because of this haha

Day 19 (One day after the 3rd cycle two day break)
I decided to not run LTU for the next week or so. I will be undergoing a surgery and would love to benefit from my system's resources being used for physical healing. I will most probably restart LTU the day or the day after I exit the clinic. At the end of the day I believe this small break is nothing comparing to my goal for running it 6-12 months.

Day 23
It has been 6 days of break so far as I decided to do so for allowing my body to heal from the surgery instead. The doctor is very happy with how quickly my wound healed so far and as a result I will restart LTU tomorrw. Including the ASRB break it has been a break of 7 days. I believe I will treat this as a restart of the whole program and start counting as Day 1 again.

The solid result so far was what I described on Day 13, the program pushed me to have a surgery that relates to one of the three goals of USLM. The goal might be 100% done but I am waiting for some test results to come back for knowing that. In terms of other minor results, I know that emotional healing in general and "correction" of self esteem did take place but I don't know to which degree or have results to compare.

[zero_force]

Day 1 (1st day of 1st cycle)
Yesterday as I was healing more and more from the surgery, the high sexual drive came back. I wanted to watch porn and masturbate. This morning after my first listen to the loops my sexual drive is off the roof again but this time I am coming at it in a different way. I started remembering what I read about sexual transmutation and used it to heal my wound. I am not that good at it. As long as I am conscious about sending the energy to the wound the pain stops and it feels great, the moment I stop thinking about it the pain returns and the sexual urge is back. Not sure at how good I am at this but I started studying about sexual transmutation and how to use it more efficiently. This energy is so, so powerful. Something I never experienced before and I believe its very promising for healing my body and other conditions.

Days 1-4 (1st-4th day of 1st cycle)
Back in the game. I observed self esteem increasing a bit from where it was. Healing is back during the night and little bit during day time. I love the way E3 is healing. It is very subtle. For years I have been doing emotional healing and E3 is not compared to this harsh bold healing of this emotional healing or the healing for ARA or the old DMSI A. 

Day 5 (1st day of BREAK of 1st cycle)
Some medical results came back. Would need further investigation to know if Goal 2 is finished and this will take some time. Nevertheless, Goal 2 is like 50% done.

Day 8  (2nd day of 2nd cycle)
I am a hypnotherapist and the main procedure I follow is to take my clients back to scenes of the past and check what the root of a challenge is. The mind gives us the scene where it all started and we investigate and figure out the beliefs associated with it. Last night I saw a dream where I was taken back to a scene in my past of why a theme I experience right now happens. Not sure if E3 took or will take care of it but glad I got the information, written them down and can work it out myself as well. I am amazed and curious about what happened and how.

[zero_force]

Day 13-14 (1st and 2nd day of 3rd cycle)
I had some dreams-nightmares which I assume are about healing. Same in the day, I find myself frustrated, sad, unsupported unloved, alone which seems to be related to healing. Things I thought I cleared through emotional healing with specialists in the past but seem to still be there.


Day 16 (4th day of 3rd cycle)
This cycle I found myself overwhelmed with the healing part and I just had a thought if this is the 4th day as I will need a break. I was hoping it was a break day tonight and gladly it is.


Day 22 (4th day of 4th cycle)
Not much going on the past few days other than healing. 
In general the state during the past few days is:

• Self-esteem: I don't notice any highs but I know that it might be because I am already getting used to them. I don't doubt myself that much even though I feel less than other people or have thoughts that certain people are rejecting me.
  
• Procrastination and motivation: If I set the effectiveness of this module's all time high I felt from this program as 10, I am at 5 now which is way better than the 2 I was before starting the program. There is a lot of push for me to work and a lot of push of my old habits not to.
  
• Emotional healing: It is much much stronger. It is not that mild as it was before. It gets frustrating at points but still way more bearable than what I experienced in the past with ARA or DMSI A.
  

One of the things that came up and I question if it has something to do with LTU (or is affected by it) is the life review mode I am in. I do experience this life review phase myself from time to time. Every 2-3 months. But this time its different. It's more bold, it demands results and is pushing me to take it very seriously, not skip it and keeps bugging me until I take bold actions or make bold changes. It's like I cannot cheat away from it.

[zero_force]

Day 28th (4th day of 5th cycle)
Emotional healing is still ongoing. I have some PTSD from the surgery I had. No clue if E3 will handle this any time soon but for now I am doing hypnotherapy addressing this. It is too much for me to go through without treating me.
Another test came back clean. Another 2 tests pending and if they come back clean then USLM's 2nd goal is accomplished.

I have been too much down to earth lately. This helps me navigate life with more peace. Not certain that this is LTU's doing (seems to be so) but I've done a lot of emotional healing myself lately. Wherever it came from, I am just glad it did. 


Day 30th (2nd day of BREAK of the 5th cycle)
It seems that I feel very overwhelmed by all the healing of LTU and other things I am working with for resolving the PTSD. In a few hours it will be the time for starting cycle 6 and I decided not to as I am not feeling very well. I want to let my nervous system and my mental health to balance a bit. I am doing another day of break, hopefully this will be enough.

[zero_force]

Day 34 (1st day of 6th cycle)

I messed up my cycles again as I thought that LTU might be the one triggering my anxiety because of intense healing. I did a 5-day break and it seems its not LTU that is the root but might be contributing to making the anxiety more intense.

Second goal achieved 

Doctors still want to make more results in next months but my guts tell me that the goal is achieved.

Also I decided to remove goal 3 as I am not ready for it anyway so I will stick with my first and most important goal instead giving the module's max effort on this one.

[zero_force]

Day 42 (3rd day, 7th cycle of rerun)

I believe... this program... is one that you have to give yourself to. It works on so many fronts and does so deep work that you just have to surrender, give it time and be patient with whatever comes up. When I started it I thought that it would be great to use it for a whole year with the necessary one week breaks. I now understand even more that such action will benefit me a lot. It can literally make me a different person. Can give me a new life. I believe it is not a 3-month program. Meaning that it will do its job but not nearly what is capable of.

Healing is ongoing, self esteem boost is ongoing. The new aspect I experienced during the end of the last cycle (it subsided during the break) was the huge urge to work and the complete, 100% "blockage" of procrastination and all of excuses for working and succeeding with what I will work on. This is the first time I experienced something like that in my life and this is still another confirmation for me that, the individuals we see on the covers of magazines, at huge award celebrations have THE edge, with a very powerful supportive subconscious mind.

For some reason I knew this trait will go away as this is what I experienced at first with all new traits I got introduced by LTU but the good news is that each new trait slowly gets integrated over time. I can only say that I will be thrilled when the integration happens! 

[zero_force]

Day 50 (2nd day of Break of 8th cycle of a rerun)

So as I was taking a bath today I had a huge realization. LTU saved me from a ton of troubles. On two different situations. I wish I could share more but I would be sharing a lot about my life on the Internet which I decided not to be doing any more.

I am just very grateful that I bought this program and that I could pick that up because things are happening on the background and we don't notice them sometimes. What happened not just saved me a lot of money (1-2 times the money the program is currently priced) but saved me from a lot of inconveniences on many levels and of health trouble that would could cost me a fortune and so much emotional burden. Seriously... I can't be grateful enough. This could have been the worst challenge in my life so far. Glad it was handled.

@Shannon I run LTU since January 2nd. April 2nd would be like 3 months. I am planing to run it for at least another block of 3 months and I am supposed to, according to the instructions, take a week off. Twice during this period I extended a break period to 7 days instead of 2 because of external circumstances. Should I still continue according to plan and on April 2nd take a week off and start my next 3-month block?

[zero_force]

Day 58 (1st day of 10th cycle of a rerun)
I was lately questioning if the self-esteem effects are still on, not because I wasn't feeling a nice self esteem boost but because I was feeling the exact opposite. The last two days during the break I was seeing myself in the mirror and feeling bad about how i look. That's another solid confirmation that the effects are kind of deteriorating at this phase)

Maturity is the theme I noticed it have been working on me the last 3-4 weeks. I noticed it now, the last few days as I can observe the difference in my thoughts in comparison to my close past. The change is so big that i notice it on so many things and so many levels. I notice the difference on how I was acting just 2-3 months ago and all my actions and way of thinking the past 2 years. I am so much more mature. I did nothing to change/improve that. LTU is 100% responsible for this.

I will introduce a new goal. Not a slight change on my main goal or anything pushing me towards it. I will keep going with it though and introduce a second goal. The goal will be to become conscious of making decisions that are  for my highest good and act on them instead of the opposite. I am very spontaneous on taking decisions without thinking and I want to break this pattern. I noticed in the past that sometimes by just being conscious I take better decisions so when I was aware and asked if this is for my highest good, made me stop, think and take the right decision (not always but a huge improvement).

[Zubrowka]

Day 58 (1st day of 10th cycle of a rerun)
I was lately questioning if the self-esteem effects are still on, not because I wasn't feeling a nice self esteem boost but because I was feeling the exact opposite. The last two days during the break I was seeing myself in the mirror and feeling bad about how i look. That's another solid confirmation that the effects are kind of deteriorating at this phase)

Maturity is the theme I noticed it have been working on me the last 3-4 weeks. I noticed it now, the last few days as I can observe the difference in my thoughts in comparison to my close past. The change is so big that i notice it on so many things and so many levels. I notice the difference on how I was acting just 2-3 months ago and all my actions and way of thinking the past 2 years. I am so much more mature. I did nothing to change/improve that. LTU is 100% responsible for this.

I will introduce a new goal. Not a slight change on my main goal or anything pushing me towards it. I will keep going with it though and introduce a second goal. The goal will be to become conscious of making decisions that are  for my highest good and act on them instead of the opposite. I am very spontaneous on taking decisions without thinking and I want to break this pattern. I noticed in the past that sometimes by just being conscious I take better decisions so when I was aware and asked if this is for my highest good, made me stop, think and take the right decision (not always but a huge improvement).

That's not necessarily a confirmation of that at all, it could just mean that the sub is uncovering hidden attitudes that are being worked on and in turn creating a more deeply rooted self esteem.