whome's LTU5 journal

[whome]

OK, so the mike is on.

Day 1

DMSI was kicking my ass, leaving me in grieving pain. On one hand, I saw Shannon's note at https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Men-s...#pid215700 :

DMSI 3.3.1-D is going to be easier on you than LTU4.

If you do jump to LTU4, you're going to have to deal with a tornado. You'll not be escaping, just moving to something else that will be doing much the same thing because of overlap when it comes to personal development, and doing it a lot faster and harder.

On the other hand, I suspected that maybe my subconscious was reacting to the goal rather than to the concept of change, and when Shannon said that he was going to make an LTU 4.1 that had smoothness and a "love life" module I decided I was going to give it a try. I'm fortunate enough to be able to spend $600 in a "let's give this a try to see if it works" mode, so I did.

And then the whole LTU 5 thing happened. That came out last night, so I listened overnight.

Notable:

• I woke suuuuuper exhausted.
  
• My emotions are OK. I went to bed in a space of floating between happiness and grief, and that's where I woke up.
  
• I woke with a clenched fist so tight that my fingernail was digging into the skin of my palm and hurting quite a bit.
  
• I remember a bit of my dream, and there was this moment where I was laying on a road face-down, and there was a guy who got on top of me and was humping my left armpit, and I kept asking him to stop and he wouldn't. I don't remember what happened next. Not exactly the most awesome dream.
  

But not waking emotionally crushed is great! I'll take it, and if jumping to LTU means committing to it for the next 3 months, I'm good with it.

[whome]

Day 2

Five loops overnight. This time I woke only slightly tired. I can't remember any dreams, and I feel OK.

I'm feeling into my emotions and trying to get a read of them. There's some sadness/grief, but not overwhelming. The loving/powerful feeling is a bit hard to trigger but is kinda there if I go hunting for it.

We'll see.

[whome]

Day 3

Something is happening. I'm waking suuuuuuper tired. At least my emotions aren't shot.

Not seeing much of a change, but I can proceed with this.

[whome]

Day 4

Oh my god I'm so tired. Sleeping for 9-10 hours, waking suuuuuuuuuper exhausted.

Emotionally it's a mixed bag of turmoil. It's pretty neutral, but I can feel the grief and pain sitting under everything. I am capable of feeling happiness if I push into it, but if I don't push for it, I find myself in the middle.

I'm not noticing anything in particular as an effect of the sub besides the exhaustion.

[whome]

Day 5

Four days on, two days off; this is my first day off.

Not having played the sub overnight, I woke a bit tired but not exhausted at all. So I'll enjoy the break.

It's odd having to guess if the sub is executing. I know that for DMSI there's a body buzz as a signal that it's executing. Is there some kind of signal that could be put in other subs to know?

[whome]

More day 5.

So I woke this morning tired but not exhausted. However, in my cuddling session I got hit with massive sadness, grief, loneliness, and desperation. It felt overwhelming, and even if I kept my eyes open I couldn't find solidity in my body.

I dunno if this is accumulated feelings from the four days on the sub, or if this is deep down emotion liberated by the sub, or what have you.

[DarkTempatation]

More day 5.

So I woke this morning tired but not exhausted. However, in my cuddling session I got hit with massive sadness, grief, loneliness, and desperation. It felt overwhelming, and even if I kept my eyes open I couldn't find solidity in my body.

I dunno if this is accumulated feelings from the four days on the sub, or if this is deep down emotion liberated by the sub, or what have you.

I've been going through some throbbing headaches, extreme exhaustion where it seems like i haven't slept for a week! 
mind has been feeling good though, and i have been having aches and pains throughout my body

[whome]

I've been going through some throbbing headaches, extreme exhaustion where it seems like i haven't slept for a week! 
mind has been feeling good though, and i have been having aches and pains throughout my body

The extreme exhaustion sounds about right.

Are your experiences different on your days on vs your days off?

[DarkTempatation]

I've been going through some throbbing headaches, extreme exhaustion where it seems like i haven't slept for a week! 
mind has been feeling good though, and i have been having aches and pains throughout my body

The extreme exhaustion sounds about right.

Are your experiences different on your days on vs your days off?

Today was my day off no exhaustion today but slept over 12 hours. I'm going to take a little longer before I go back on it as I've got a cold.

[Shannon]

You have a cold. Developed right after starting LTU5. And your response, to go on it later than scheduled. Interesting choice.

I have a chest infection. Which started a couple days after I started LTU5. And I'm running MIR on my days off, but you know what's happening tonight? Come hell or high water, I'm running LTU5. Why? Because I'm suspecting that the infection's timing is a little too convenient to be coincidental. No, I will not stop using LTU5 because I have an infection.

I suggest you consider that also.

[DarkTempatation]

You have a cold.  Developed right after starting LTU5.  And your response, to go on it later than scheduled.  Interesting choice.

I have a chest infection.  Which started a couple days after I started LTU5.  And I'm running MIR on my days off, but you know what's happening tonight?  Come hell or high water, I'm running LTU5.  Why?  Because I'm suspecting that the infection's timing is a little too convenient to be coincidental.  No, I will not stop using LTU5 because I have an infection.  

I suggest you consider that also.

After reading what you just wrote @Shannon I think I'm going to just use it and get through it.
Thank you for that.

[whome]

After reading what you just wrote @Shannon I think I'm going to just use it and get through it.
Thank you for that.

Hugs. I hope you feel better soon.

[DarkTempatation]

After reading what you just wrote @Shannon I think I'm going to just use it and get through it.
Thank you for that.

Hugs. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you may the LTU journey for all goes well!
Also thank you @Shannon

[Shannon]

I tried to use LTU last night. Felt good, had been nebulizing during the day with ionic silver, felt like I was infection free.

GF woke me up in the middle of the night, and now we are both dealing with it. That was stupid on my part, I know the rules of using MIR. If you need MIR, stay with it until 3 days after all symptoms are gone.