Subliminal Talk

Had some rather... weird dreams last night. I don't remember them too clearly, but some seemed to be rather trippy. One, for instance, seemed to involve me, uh, torturing a woman and eating bits of her flesh. WTF, subC? :o

It was probably related to some fears, but I did not get woken by the dreams.

It would seem that the new FRM is working on removing fear while triggering it to a way lesser extent than the previous version. Gonna know more as I use the program longer.

Listening to my loops now, on the 4th one right now, got a bit sleepy in the interim and napped a bit while I was at it. Getting sensations indicating that a lot of energy is being moved/used.

Emotionally I'm reacting to the sub in a rather peculiar fashion: I get both something of a sense of enthusiastic urgency, like, "hell yeah, let's get it on", whilst at the same time a calm and composed feeling that "it's already gotten on and coming to me", lol.

Rested up a bit, but now I've got 6 pages to translate by Monday and, as it turns out, a short recording session tomorrow using material that I just received (which could lead to good stuff career-wise), so I've got to prepare for that too. Ah, it's tough being successful.

Just found confirmation in Shannon's journal discussion that DMSI 3.3 has bodyfat as energy source implemented. I was wondering why am I feeling as if I were doing cardio these past couple of hours, and that would explain it.

Going to adjust my fitness regimen, removing some of the stuff that was at aimed directly at fat-burning, whilst maintaining and increasing the conditioning elements.

Got hit by some serious fear yesternight, as I was working on that thingy for today's recording. Had to lie down, fell asleep, woke up in several hours, having come with a conclusion related to this (I think it's leftovers from clinical depression I went through several years back - basically, no wonder it happened: basically, anything I actually want to do is, at some level, scary or has been made scary for me through various experiences and human shittiness). Went back to sleep. In total, I think I may have slept for over 14-15 hours. Actually no wonder since I was coming off the tour, which was exhausting, and may have something to do with the fact I've switched two 5.5g subs with no break (I was halfway expecting an increased need for sleep because of that).

Feeling good now, though. Still getting sensation indicating that fat is being burned up, albeit not as strong as when I was actively listening to the sub. Also I could eat a horse, and have eaten quite a bit, but it gets used up pretty swiftly. Going to have to pull an all-nighter on the translation job, because I didn't get much done yesterday (because I was sleeping, lol), but that's par for the course in freelance translation, lolz.

I'd be listening to DMSI now, but I'll be doing that later because I've got that recording session in a couple of hours. Next 2ndry ASRB break I'm switching to early morning listening, and will be trying to maintain it as long as I can (so probably until the next tour, which isn't until January, whipppieee!)

Let's keep crackin'

Also, I think I'll buy some Shannon subs using the sale - I won't be running any in the forseeable future, as I'm doing DMSI, but I've had some other shenanigans in mind concerning them. So I'll use the sale to send some shekels Shannon's way and test that idea I've been having. If it works, I'll report.

Recording was fun, I would have stayed longer to hang out with the peeps, but there's translation to be done, oy. So putting on some DMSI and getting to work.

Purchased quite a bit of stuff on the sale. I'll give DMSI some more time to work on its own, so that I know what's what (I think there's quite a bit of new stuff there, should be fun experiencing it), and then I'll start doing my *experiments*, <evil laughter>muhahahahaha</evil laughter>.

(12-07-2018, 07:19 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]I did a quick thought-experiment I'd sometimes employ when using USLMaxx - I thought of a scenario which would bring up fear or anxiety in me, even by just thinking about it. This time I tried something related directly to the program's goals.

It's like the thought disappeared very fast, and I don't even remember what it was exactly I was afraid of a short time after, lol.

Will maybe try this thought-experiment every now and again at a later date, too, to confirm, though I don't really *feel* exactly like doing so.

Nice, even i do the same, since i realised the fear factor in all this. i intentionally thing of things which make me anxious and think of the core fear and reason of my anxiety.

I am able to take bold steps because of it.

i limit it to things related to my main goal.

My main goal on USLM is inspired from "way of superior man" book. my goal is to be a practical superior man.

Superior man is the ultimate figure of masculine energy.
I am limited by physical limit of human body.

(12-09-2018, 01:27 PM)san_hal Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-07-2018, 07:19 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]I did a quick thought-experiment I'd sometimes employ when using USLMaxx - I thought of a scenario which would bring up fear or anxiety in me, even by just thinking about it. This time I tried something related directly to the program's goals.

It's like the thought disappeared very fast, and I don't even remember what it was exactly I was afraid of a short time after, lol.

Will maybe try this thought-experiment every now and again at a later date, too, to confirm, though I don't really *feel* exactly like doing so.

Nice, even i do the same, since i realised the fear factor in all this. i intentionally thing of things which make me anxious and think of the core fear and reason of my anxiety.

I am able to take bold steps because of it.

i limit it to things related to my main goal.

My main goal on USLM is inspired from "way of superior man" book. my goal is to be a practical superior man.

Superior man is the ultimate figure of masculine energy.
I am limited by physical limit of human body.

Haha, nice. I'll look at that book, sounds interesting. I like using the Nietzschean concept of "overman", and then seeing where it takes me.

I used to prefer the concept of "stoic sage" once upon a time. Currently seeking balance between the two. The goal is pretty much identical as far as I can tell, but the paths are different.

The path of the "stoic sage" is that of reason, the path of the "Nietzschean overman" is that of instinct.

For true ascension? development? evolution? (dunno what to call it, really) I believe that both must be wed. Like William Blake stipulated in his "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell". And I'll not argue with Blake. Dude was channeling, like, cosmic wisdom or something, lol.

I agree with San Hal, that book has the best definition of masculine energy Ive come across.

The translation work is proceeding pretty fast despite the complexity of the text and the fact that I'm running DMSI at the same time (I'm on loop no. 3, and am about halfway done with the initial draft). So actively DMSIng does not reduce mental focus on other tasks to any great extent, it would appear, nor does it result in energy drain making doing other stuff difficult. Neat-o.

Finished the translation beginning to end, pretty decent quality as far as I can tell, now it's time for editing and mop up.

I have, again, slept for a pretty long time. So there's definitely stuff going on under the hood. Going to have a bit more free time in the nearest future, which I'm really looking forward to.

Setting up my DMSI loops for the day, then it's a break until Friday.

The interesting thing is that I am really looking forward to starting up the sub each day. It feels good!

(12-07-2018, 10:11 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]Just got an invite from a responder over to her place for next week. To help her with "some English". Like I couldn't help her out with that over msg, as usual, riiiiight.

The ultrasonic on the phone is making my legs a bit wobbly.

This gal just called me, talked my ear off for a good half hour, and we set a date for Thursday.

NOW I can play DMSI, lol.

Just got an invite for a beer from another lady friend for the evening today.

I'll never listen to my loops this way!

EDIT

The above occurrences seem to imply that early-morning listening is the way to go, so doing that from Friday on.

Last evening was fun, but nothing to write home about.

Anyroad, listened to me loops after getting back home while sleeping, then went to bardic practice. I think I've finally figured out a slight point of contention we've been having recently with my vocal coach, technique-wise, so that's good. Gonna try to meet up with her over the weekend and show it. I'm not 100% vocally, though, but I'll have some free time over Christmas to recuperate fully.

So, continuing DMSIng on Friday, switching listening times to early morning.

Still noticing an increased need for sleep, but it feels good. Also noticed a marked increase in libido (by which I mean I'm popping proverbial boners left and right), and there's a sense of heaviness in my gentials when I'm listening to the program, and at certain points of time during the day. It's been going on since I started listening to DMSI 3.3, but I think the naturalizer made it seem like "yeah, that's, like, nothing out of the ordinary", heh.