Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Update 1 - Epiphany
So after typing the above entry for today I read other posts and came across one from @
Shannon
(11-30-2018, 07:09 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (11-30-2018, 02:11 AM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ] (11-29-2018, 06:53 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (11-29-2018, 05:25 PM)Shadow2200 Wrote: [ -> ] (11-29-2018, 04:01 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Because it is a necessity to have all available energy ingested for DMSI, but no other sub needs even 1/3rd as much energy, and because "solar power" isn't providing much of the energy. Other subs don't need to source energy in such unusual ways because they're not so hard to power adequately. But now with 3.3, we will have to see if the script actually gets executed, and if it does, if the existing script powers the sub sufficiently.
Like the no flap wall for 3.2 is there anything beside the anti fear mod to help with execution of dmsi 3.3?
Yes.
I really hope Nofap wall in 3.3 work this time.
You sound like you really believe you have no choice in the matter when you choose to masturbate, LMAO. You do realize that choosing to take personal responsibility for what you choose to do is a big part of... executing... right? That's a big part of why some of you don't still.
I dont entirely understand what @
Shannon may mean though I feel when i read it that what hes saying is that yes we all have the willpower to do or not do things but as a fapper I know that the willpower is never as strong as the desire to do otherwise or that the the willpower isnt strong enough on a daily basis to overcome a growing desire to gain pleasure or to avoid pain as procrastination is in my case.
I however then realised I had another epiphany.
I realised that growing up, since I was stopped from doing things that my mother saw as being risky and at other times I saw more responsibility was placed on my elder siblings and on top of that a bullying over powering sibling who took over every single thing I wanted to do and take charge and ownership, well all of this I know made me get angry and say I am not given responsibilty so why bother!
I know that this "why even bother" attitude didnt rule me in every single thing but it was a belief I used to say whether flippantly or not and im sure therefore it may have a role to play in my procrastination.
what do you think @
Shannon , is this FRM? or am I simply now trying to connect dots?
thank you
I think what's happening is that FRM is basically warming the ice sheet, and it;s starting to break up into ice chunks which will eventually separate and melt into nothing.
You are starting to connect the dots because FRM is causing you to see certain things, which lead you to make positive steps towards understanding the issue and changing the underlying reasons why you procrastinate.
Those things that formed the fears that now hold you back, no longer apply and they have no value. This is starting to become apparent, slowly but surely, and you are making progress.
)) happy days!
Update 2- Procrastination on MAXIMUM
So its 4.35am. My friend came over, he left around 1 or 2am.
I did some chores and then just wasted time online.
I now will go to bed but im not motivated to sleep or do anything productive and if I am i realise its just me wasting time when sleep should be what im motivated to do right now.
I hope that FRM is breaking up my ice quickly!!
Sat 1 December
Today is Day 69 of UMOP in total & Day 12 of the New UMOP2 = 69:12
Day 2 of Cycle 3
---------------------------------------------
I woke around 3pm. Did wake a couple of times in the night.
Had 2 dreams. I tried to remember them. All I recall is that 1 was about how age is just a number. I don't remember the other.
During the time of the dream or during 1 of the wake up times I distinctly recall thinking these dreams must be relevant to the sub and I must remember them but I can't.
update 1
Struggling today
procrastination is at a max
Motivation is low to medium - usual.
Does it feel like some part of you is fighting the program, or is there no indication of anything different happening most of the time?
(12-01-2018, 11:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Does it feel like some part of you is fighting the program, or is there no indication of anything different happening most of the time?
I feel it's the latter where I feel I'm listening at night and wake up from my sleep as if I never listened to nothing since I was asleep and my day is running as normal....to put it another way as I have done with previous subs no obvious indication of anything happening. No feelings of anything that I can say is due to the sub.
Is that bad? :/
Update 2
So while I wait for @
Shannon to reply to me and my post directly above, which is my answer to the question he asked I thought i would update for more data.
There is no change or any indication of anything felt however my old habits are back.
So due to me having a test on Monday and this now being Saturday evening, the panic set in due to the proverbial shit hitting that fan that came from nowhere lol
Due to this I got myself down to finally study when the pain was more than the desire to do nothing.
As I began I realised (realisation happened now thus this update) that I entered the zone, the zone where studying and taking action became a joy, somewhat stressfree or stressless and just that elusive zone I always seem to enter when my back is against the wall and the deadline nears.
I am providing this data because @
Shannon I really hope FRM can sort my fears so I can enter this zone every day and be motivated to study.
Ah yes motivation, im actually motivated to learn now, however as its late I will finish the task at hand then sleep but this is the motivation and anti procrastination I desire....
... This ZONE! thank you
Sun 2 December
Today is Day 70 of UMOP in total (UMOP + UMOP2) & Day 13 of the New UMOP2 = 70:13
Day 3 of Cycle 3
---------------------------------------------
I wasnt at all sleepy or tired and went to bed around 5am after doing the study I wanted to from yesterdays update.
Again to reiterate, my being in the zone wasnt the sub but 100% my usual procrastination behaviour of reaching a deadend and having to now take action.
Anyway I couldnt sleep at all and at 6am the electricity to my apartment went off. Later I found that it was the whole building.
I resigned to my fate and felt that I wouldnt be able to listen to the sub for today however then the electricity came back on shortly after.
I still wasnt tired, so read a book I havent once touched on PUA and set the sub to play after 30mins of silence.
Eventually around 9am I realised im totally fucked so need to sleep.
I fell asleep and woke today around 3pm and now have a headache at 8pm and have been a zombie.
I have a test tomorrow at 8am. I have heard its fairly easy though it is an exam so im 50/50 about it.
I will do some studying today but as yet im not getting anything concrete :/
also no dreams.
Also not fapped now: 48th day today. I have no reason not to be fapping. Im not an addict but this is odd. The only logical reason is that I want to conserve energy for whenever I do either have sex or fap but if its not the sub no idea what it is as its not TID then.
update 1 - ephiphany
I am not motivated to start
My issue I now realise is starting. Once I start im resigned to my fate and continue and then im probably in the zone but starting is my issue.
I also realised that once I do some study I dont return back to it, there is a sense of accomplishment and due to this I seem to give myself a whole years break lol
Even though studying is my primary goal, I am procrastinating on starting to exercise, or sit and plan my diet plan as I have some ideas from speaking to my online personal trainer.
I am procrastinating on taking my daily supplements.
I am procrastinating on doing my daily rehab that my doctor gave me - some stretching.
So even though I havent ever really listed all my goals, I have alot I want to do and these are my indicators for this sub.
I am lazy until someone gets me out of that, such as a friend motivating me to go to the gym as happened once this past week, or the same friend coming to mine and suddenly maybe suggesting we do something.
I feel when someone such as my friend comes over then I have to stop all i do and be a good host thus then that host is able to inject their goal into my time such as go gym, go to a strip club or study. I do say no at times and he doesnt always push for all this.
my point is that im not motivated and on the contrary today I feel less and less :/
(12-01-2018, 11:48 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (12-01-2018, 11:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Does it feel like some part of you is fighting the program, or is there no indication of anything different happening most of the time?
I feel it's the latter where I feel I'm listening at night and wake up from my sleep as if I never listened to nothing since I was asleep and my day is running as normal....to put it another way as I have done with previous subs no obvious indication of anything happening. No feelings of anything that I can say is due to the sub.
Is that bad? :/
It is what it is. We are observing the process of how FRM 3.2 affects you and how you respond. Given your history, it wouldn't surprise me if it takes time.
(12-02-2018, 12:22 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (12-01-2018, 11:48 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (12-01-2018, 11:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Does it feel like some part of you is fighting the program, or is there no indication of anything different happening most of the time?
I feel it's the latter where I feel I'm listening at night and wake up from my sleep as if I never listened to nothing since I was asleep and my day is running as normal....to put it another way as I have done with previous subs no obvious indication of anything happening. No feelings of anything that I can say is due to the sub.
Is that bad? :/
It is what it is. We are observing the process of how FRM 3.2 affects you and how you respond. Given your history, it wouldn't surprise me if it takes time.
Thank you for replying @
Shannon
I understand so ill remain on this and upto 90days - and/or - then once LTU with FRM 4 comes out and DMSI 3.3, then ill see if you suggest I change or stay here.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
