Subliminal Talk

Thurs 22 November

Today is Day *60* of UMOP in total & Day 3 of the New UMOP2 = 60:3
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I woke to no dream. I woke and actually wondered if the sub even played as I slept so peacefully.

No change in behaviour or feelings.

I have been feeling bored for the past 30mins and fed up - time is 1.54am.

I have no sex drive it seems.

I havent fapped for over a month, not strictly keeping count but its probably week 6 now of no fapping.

I also realised around the start of no fapping that I was getting bored of movies. All my life I have been a movie buff. I still watch tv shows, they are shorter unless I watch more than 1 back to back which I do but I have less desire to watch movies. They all seem shit to me, unless theyre Marvel or DC, but once I have watched them then I am bored.

I feel watching movies is a waste of time, however i have felt this each year for the past 2 years approx.

Today is day 60 on UMOP altogether - my 2nd month.

Thanks

ps: I reported last week many dreams and thought that it was FRM via UMOP2, only to realise now that it was probably not. So since I havent as yet felt any dreams, scary or fearful even then im hoping no im praying that im not stonewalling FRM. #Fingers crossed!!!

Fri 23 November

Today is Day 61 of UMOP in total & Day 4 of the New UMOP2 = 61:4
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End of cycle 1.

Tomorrow day of rest/1 day break.

No dreams. No change. No fears. Nothing as yet.

Update 2:

I should add that as per previous posts from last few days I have been very active with tinder.

This will end once the cheap 1 month promotion ends.

I am all packed for my flight back to Europe in 5hours time and not asleep so here trying to come up with any data I can.

I feel a little concerned that since I am not noticing any fearful dreams as I had last week when on UMOP falsely that could i now be stonewalling FRM

I hope not.

Hi jake, i never have dreams either doesnt mean its not working just some of us dont remember dreams or when we do its rare. I have had a couple dreams once in a while but nothing like others have but doesnt mean the program isnt working we just have to give the programs time. Some seem to react faster then others.

I didnt see anything on 3.2dmsi but im hopeful 3.3 will remove fears holding me back to execute the script.

Maybe the lack of interest in tv shows and movies recently is the start, you might see it as not much change but if we spend 6-7-8 hours watching tv listening to music instead of listening to audio books or video clips that provides infomation to benefit us we are still not using our time wisely.

So maybe that could be the first step for you, being bored of shows will move into wanting to do other more productive things each day.

I am also not dreaming anything for past few days. Dont worry about it.

Sat 24 November

Today is Day 62 of UMOP in total & Day 5 of the New UMOP2 = 62:5

Today was my 1 day break/rest
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Today I didnt listen to the sub, as it was my break.

This worked to my favour as today I flew back to europe.

As always I got ZERO sleep the night before my flight, I slept very little if even that during the flight and I arrived into Europe needing sleep.

I was unable to sleep due to issues in my apartment until around 7.30pm.

I slept up and down, all the way until 4pm the next day.
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Sun 25 November

Today is Day 63 of UMOP in total & Day 6 of the New UMOP2 = 63:6

Today was my 1st day of Cycle 2.
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Today (as per above) I woke at 4pm and didnt eat until 8pm, as a friend wanted to come and see me which was sweet and cool of him.

I therefore missed completely this days listen.

I didnt intend to miss it and when I woke at 4pm I had planned to listen to the sub from my laptop as its masked track whilst unpacking. However my friend invited himself over so it never happened.

I had hoped to be in bed around midnight or 1am so that I could get the complete 4 loops of total 4hours 32mins during the night for the next day before I had to wake up and go to uni.
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Mon 26 November - TODAY

Today is Day 64 of UMOP in total & Day 7 of the New UMOP2 = 64:7

Today was my 2nd day of Cycle 2 and a week since being on UMOP2.
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I planned (as per above) to be in bed around 1am and to listen to the loops for today.
I due to all the messed up sleep from travelling didnt fall asleep until 5am and missed my window to get the 4 loops of 4hours 32mins in.

I wasnt at all pleased about this and had to wake up after only 1hour of sleep at max for uni.

Today at uni it went fine but its now getting colder here in Europe and once I got to my apartment I have done nothing but eat and try and stay warm.

I am exhausted I should sleep but I seem to not be in any desire to get into bed as yet.

Tomorrow I may not have to go into uni which will hopefully give me time to fix my sleep.

I came home, ate late breakfast and then just was on the phone to a new tinder girl. The tinder paid gold seems to have paid off some what lol.

Anyway after calls here and there the time is now 8.45pm here and I will have another bite to eat and then sleep.

I have done little in terms of action, I went uni, I did some budgeting online for my month and also checked some emails here and there.

I have done no study as yet even though I have now another test/exam in 7 days time.

So overall no change as yet.

I aim and hope to get listening tonight though.

Thank you

Tues 27 November

Today is Day 65 of UMOP in total & Day 8 of the New UMOP2 = 65:8

Day 3 of cycle 2
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Couldn't sleep until 4am approx. Sleep cycle screwed up once again. Was hungry so ate before I fell asleep. Watched some tv shows in bed too.

Woke after 6hours sleep in a panic as my friend was to go into uni today on our behave.

Called him all ok. Phew. He's prone to fail to see his own alarm. Lol

Woke didn't feel tired. Didn't feel any effects of the sub. Woke as if I didn't even have a sub playing but it did play as I played it and slept.

Nothing to report otherwise.

Update 1:

Feeling sleepy. Could be due to sugar, lack of sleep, the sub, fall in temperature as it's gotten colder in my apartment or all 4.

Will go to bed soon even though it's 4.38pm.

Feeling super lazy. Could be due to the above lack of energy of course.

Seem to now be wasting my time on tinder and other such dating and social media apps.

Back to watching t.v. shows and binge watching.

Haven't fapped approximately 6-7 weeks.

Update2:

Not fapped and avoiding it but feeling horny today.

Going to have a nap.

Maybe you'd be better off not napping and staying awake so you're tired enough to get back on a regular sleep schedule?

(11-27-2018, 08:51 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Maybe you'd be better off not napping and staying awake so you're tired enough to get back on a regular sleep schedule?

Thanks @RTBoss
That's kinda what I've been trying to do but as usual I'm tired in the day and awake more at night. Today I was too tired so had to succumb.

I've only now woken out of fear I should incase I miss more of the day or ruin it further :/

update 3:

feeing lazy. Woken from my nap as per update 2, time is now 11.42pm and just feel lazy and unmotivated or focused as sometimes can be the case after waking up.

Ive planned to go gym with a friend. He will take me to a gym a couple of times to break me in and show me where his gym is etc then leave me to it and this ive committed to verbally for tomorrow, kinda a little anxious about it, maybe a 1 or 2 on a scale of 1-10.

Will make some food now.

update 4:

Time: 3.12am

So I ate, and spoke messaged my friend about the gym tomorrow. Its feeling more real, and this got me motivated to finish off the remainder of my unpacking which I now realise I was procrastinating on.

I have done it all and also ate first which I forgot to mention.

All I have to do tomorrow is wake up, shower, figure out what I want to wear at the gym and what I want to do and then go meet up with him, provided he is still going which he said he will be.

I realised also that as usual I am more motivated at night than in the day which has been the case since my last update.

Overall no change, no dreams or change in behaviour, no change in feelings, no change it seems in thoughts, no fears that I can notice being dealt with and overall my lack of motivation Vs my motivation seems to be consistent for now.