Day 14 on B
OK! So there's girl who I feel like I may have the connection I was looking for. And the problem is I'm feeling a lot of symptoms which could mean "fear" or anxiety. Although I get random bouts of euphoria and energy as well.
I think it's because of B - I tried to power through it for 2-3 days, but it's getting worse as I'm not able to think straight. While sending texts for examplel I'm mixing different thoughts. Maybe witnessing the interaction between conscious and subconscious is not such a great idea in turbulent times.
I'm going to start running A from tomorrow. Hopefully things will get better.
Day 1 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
Okay... so I'm back to "A" after 14 days on "B".
Listened to my loops during the sleep and woke up while the second loop was playing.
For last 9-10 months I had been pushing for things to change at work. Essentially, the kind and amount of things I was looking after would have necessitated a better role and more money.
Today I was told that it wasn't going to happen. I was really really sad after that and felt like my heart sank. I felt betrayed, lied to and felt like I wasted my last 9-10 months.
Went to the gym after work and I almost felt a pain in the chest. Don't know if it indicated the pain I experienced because of events at work or if it was genuinely a physical pain. My exercise wasn't too vigorous.
Will continue to listen to "A" for at least a week. Hope it's going to help me overcome the sorrow associated with work situation as well.
Day 2 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
The deep sadness from yesterday continued today. People at work could all tell that something wasn't right and I looked sad. Sucks to be so transparent that everyone can read you.
All of a sudden all thoughts of girls have vanished from my head. Ha ha.
Late afternoon was a bit weird. Got feelings of anxiety and then a rush of energy towards the evening and that prompted me to go to the gym.
The good thing is I have been to the gym both yesterday and today. Looking forward to the weekend so that can I get a couple of days off work.
Day 4 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
Sadness related to work continues. The anxiety around the girl (now affectionately known as my oneitis) is a bit better. Although the anxiety resurfaces when I think of her. It started during the last days of B; but still continues.
Set up a date (not with this girl I like) for tomorrow: hopefully that'll help.
Day 5 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
I feel motivated to do something about my life rather than chase after girls. Especially, this girl that I like and I've started calling her my "oneitis". The anxiety is still there and I feel it... but I'm glad the thoughts are taking over and I'm feeling like that this girls is not the end all and be all of my existence.
(04-22-2017, 06:11 PM)hunk Wrote: [ -> ]Day 5 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
I feel motivated to do something about my life rather than chase after girls. Especially, this girl that I like and I've started calling her my "oneitis". The anxiety is still there and I feel it... but I'm glad the thoughts are taking over and I'm feeling like that this girls is not the end all and be all of my existence.
Nice realization! I hope you also realize that it's DMSI that helped you get there and to keep going! The other benefits this sub has, sans women, are myriad it seems. I only say this, as it seems some people get the benefit of the sub, think about some other area of life and decide to jump ship - when it was DMSI helping them in the first place.
(04-22-2017, 07:37 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ][quote='hunk' pid='165464' dateline='1492913485']
Day 5 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
Nice realization! I hope you also realize that it's DMSI that helped you get there and to keep going! The other benefits this sub has, sans women, are myriad it seems. I only say this, as it seems some people get the benefit of the sub, think about some other area of life and decide to jump ship - when it was DMSI helping them in the first place.
Totally agree with you there Boss. I'm going through a lot of changes myself, taking chances I was always to afraid of without hesitation. I believe it is DMSI as well, because the opportunities keep coming my way
(04-22-2017, 07:37 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Nice realization! I hope you also realize that it's DMSI that helped you get there and to keep going! The other benefits this sub has, sans women, are myriad it seems. I only say this, as it seems some people get the benefit of the sub, think about some other area of life and decide to jump ship - when it was DMSI helping them in the first place.
I really hope so, RTBoss and I hope DMSI clears and cures the insecurities - I started to feel since last 3-4 days of B - once and for all.
Day 6 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
OK... Looks like after about 6 days or so, "A" has started to take over "B"'s programming.
I met a girl from Tinder yesterday and we had good conversation etc. I sent her a message this morning saying she seemed fun and I'd like to see her again. She responds back with... guess what: "I"ve recently started seeing someone..." WTF!
Also met the "oneitis" last night and she didn't seem particularly keen on me. Asked her for her plans on Saturday and she's kept it open and asked me to stay in touch.
Also, there's a considerable anxiety around the "oneitis" every time I think about her or think of planning something with her. Looks like "A" is working now on masking that from conscious mind, but I can feel the symptoms in the body.
Day 7 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
Major anxiety over rejection and the fear of losing this girl (the one with the wonderful energy aka my oneitis). Possibly because last night I asked her out for today and she hasn't even bothered to respond.
Something I forgot to mention in day 5 report: it looks like the older women are being affected! That is, when I go into a group the older women (50+) start talking to me or introducing them to me etc. However, the younger ones i.e. the ones in early 30s or less don't seem to be affected.
Or maybe these women are getting affected, but they are not bold enough to actually make the first move.
Edit: Just came across this in
Ichigo's journal - "Don't sink your boat for her". I think I should use it as my mantra for now.
Day 9 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
Still get anxiety thinking about the oneitis. I realise that I've made it an issue for myself and it's become an ego/pride/face-saving thing. That isn't letting me be myself with her or whenever I think of her as a lot is at stake.
Hope "A" works its magic on those things.
Other than that, a friend's 18 month baby was extremely friendly to me and wanted me to hold her etc. My friend was surprised because the baby didn't know me and I was more or less a stranger to the baby.
I'm planning to get off the DMSI drug in a week or two.
(04-27-2017, 05:16 AM)hunk Wrote: [ -> ]Other than that, a friend's 18 month baby was extremely friendly to me and wanted me to hold her etc. My friend was surprised because the baby didn't know me and I was more or less a stranger to the baby.
Lol that reminds me of sales yesterday. I went to a house and a guy's dog was super excited to see me. Licked my hand and stuff. The guy wasn't interested so I left and the dog followed me and the guy freaked out! lol. Yelled at the poor dog. I guess he might have been jealous or something.
Day 12 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
Had the most bizarre coincidence happen to me yesterday. Went to meet my latest interest (aka oneitis) in a group setting and lo and behold! my ex walked in as well.
Bloody small world and I was shocked, angry and visibly shaken that she (my ex) was there. However, my ex and I spoke after everyone left. She tried to tell me that she was not herself when we were together and I told her that I thought I was over her, but I was still angry at her.
At one point when my ex and my oneitis were sitting there chatting together I could see the difference in two energies. ex = dark/heavy energy; oneitis = bright/light energy.
Someone pointed out that maybe it was my past experience with my ex that caused her energy to have appeared dark/heavy... possibly true; but they are very different people and my oneitis is what I'd prefer today.
Anyway, now that they "appear" to have become friends I think it may dissuade me from pursuing my oneitis and cure me of it. Maybe it's DMSI's way of curing me of oneitis
@Shannon: Is the user being able to forgive others included in DMSI? I don't seem to be able to forgive my ex.
Edit: For some reason I feel that my world has now come crashing down and I need to build it again. Feels tough right now, we'll see how things go.
Day 13 on A [prev: 32A + 14B]
I missed my loops this morning as I had to get to work early. Listening to the loops now, just before bed time and I'm feeling very sleepy.
Usually, I listen to masked format; right now I'm listening to ultrasonic.
I was with people all day today, but I didn't get anything interesting in terms of looks and IOIs.
One of my Tinder girls which I was talking to, unmatched me all of a sudden. Don't know why
Wonder if it's ghost protocol continued.