Day 80
Currently listening to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEOyNWDdlE4
Today is my last day of DMSI 3.1. I'm 10 days shy of the 90 day requirement, and that's OK for me. This was the longest I had used any version of DMSI, with only a day off here and there. I woke up this morning, did my loops, and realized it was time.
At this point, my brain will go into pure execution, assimilating everything that the sub has been enforcing.
I'm not sure what to expect from the bloom period, but, interestingly enough, I can feel DMSI being processed even as I write this journal entry.
I will keep this journal open, as I intend to write about some of the post effects of the bloom period. In the end, I recorded 42 days on A, and 38 days on B.
Interesting to note, last Friday as I was listening to A for my 40th day, I felt an incredible heat burning through my body. It was the first time, during my entire run of 3.1, that I felt that. It was so incredibly intense, that when I stood up from my chair, my shirt was stuck to my back in sweat. And this, in a cold air-conditioned room.
Last Friday night I found myself out for a beer with a friend of mine. We went to a rooftop (NYC and our rooftop bars), and I had three gorgeous women in different groups eye-f*cking me. It was enough that my friend noticed. Also, similar to RT's experience, one of them gave me a crotch view by spreading her legs open and showing me her panties. That one was interesting.
I didn't make any moves that night, as I only had an hour to be out, and I wanted to focus on catching up with my Boy. He even asked me why I don't go for any of them. I told him there'll always be a group of beautiful women out there, somewhere, vying for my attention.
It was at that point that something really clicked for me.
I know I'm not going to get every girls attention, and I'm not going to seduce every woman that crosses my path. But, there will always be a few, no matter where I go, that's easy pickings for me. I think it was with that realization that I came to the conclusion I did today.
I don't recall how many women I slept with over the past three months or so; there were a few more than what I documented here. I wanted to make this journal about the sub and not about my sexual notches.
I know on some level they are one in the same, but, it doesn't matter now.
I had some other experiences as well. Thanks again to RT and his spiderweb post on E's MHS journal, I gave up coffee and soda about three weeks ago. I still eat chocolate, small amounts, which has trace amounts of caffeine in it. Not nearly as much to affect the dopamine retention in my brain I don't think.
Interestingly enough, since quitting the caffeine quantities, the subs affects and state shifting really became pronounced. Sometimes I would stop playing the sub, but would feel the effects of it, as if time had somehow slowed down for me. It's almost like you can see the ripples in a space continuum. It was trippy, but soothing.
It was during that time that the energy requirements of the sub really became prominent for me.
I'm not sure how I want to close this last sub entry out. For those of you who are still not seeing results with DMSI, the few points I can offer you are:
1 - Quit Caffeine. I didn't think it was that big of a deal whenever Shannon would mention it, but it makes a world of difference.
2 - Be patient with yourselves. I know that everyone who is using this sub wants it to work and want beautiful women to slay at their feet. Honestly, don't make it about the women. The more you focus on that, the less power you have over yourself. External Validation will never give you the desired end goal. I know this is counter-intuitive, as the whole point of this sub is for external validation from women, but, don't make it that. Use the sub to focus more inwardly. The healing and clearing, if you get out of the way, will take you into an amazing inward journey. And as you progress through that journey, the world around you shifts into what you want.
3 - Don't get hung up on trying to use the sniper to get the girl. Yes, that is a technology that is built into DMSI now, however, the more you try to focus on that and the less you are aligned with yourself, the further you're going to push your end-goal away. I can't even begin to tell you who my long distance target is anymore, because I have four amazingly beautiful women, all in different places in the US, and in one case out in Asia, inviting me to come stay with them.
4 - And lastly, be limitless. I'm not a fan of the Matrix, as most of the movie is a rip off a fantastic book titled Neuromancer, however, there is one quote that I can't help but concede to. "There is no spoon." The more you focus on the brick wall in front of you, the greater that wall will grow. Like anything, what you focus on you give power to. We live in a time now where you can start a company in your garage and in a few short years become a billionaire, where private space travel is soon to be a reality, and listening to the sound of the ocean or a trickling stream can change your whole life.
As it is written, so shall it be.
Change how you write, and change your life. Don't get frustrated and don't focus on the negatives.
I wrote in an e-mail to my Brother Strangelove, that I say a gratitude prayer a few times a week.
Everyday that I wake up and am still above ground, is a good day. Find things in your life that you can be grateful for and focus on that. It might sound corny, but it makes a real difference. Pretty soon you'll find yourself adding things to that list. It takes me 30 minutes to go through everything I'm grateful for.
Other than that, I wish everyone on their personal journeys the greatest success.
Onward and Upward...
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." - Jack Kerouac
