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(10-19-2016, 02:24 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-19-2016, 01:57 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Another odd thing -- my energy levels have increased, but my hunger has bottomed out. I've been tracking my calories: I want to stay below 2000 calories a day. It's an aggressive cut, but I want to be 190 within the next 2 months. Make myself more competitive in the gym. Anyway, I've been hitting way beneath that. Like, 1750 calories and shit. And I'm not tired or lethargic.
I'm please to read that you have a loss of appetite. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one.
Yeah dude, it was WAAAAYYYY too easy to ignore the fair food today. The people I was with was gobbling down some of the most delicious looking things and I was just like... meh, not gonna. Didn't even have the desire. It's to the point that I'm actually kinda worried because I feel like I SHOULD be hungry, but I'm not.
(10-19-2016, 02:37 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (10-19-2016, 02:24 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-19-2016, 01:57 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Another odd thing -- my energy levels have increased, but my hunger has bottomed out. I've been tracking my calories: I want to stay below 2000 calories a day. It's an aggressive cut, but I want to be 190 within the next 2 months. Make myself more competitive in the gym. Anyway, I've been hitting way beneath that. Like, 1750 calories and shit. And I'm not tired or lethargic.
I'm please to read that you have a loss of appetite. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one.
Yeah dude, it was WAAAAYYYY too easy to ignore the fair food today. The people I was with was gobbling down some of the most delicious looking things and I was just like... meh, not gonna. Didn't even have the desire. It's to the point that I'm actually kinda worried because I feel like I SHOULD be hungry, but I'm not.
Thought the same thing... I SHOULD be hungry, but I'm not. I actually like this feeling!! No hunger, not tired, not lethargic. Hope it continues!!
(10-19-2016, 02:27 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]![[Image: Screenshot_20161019_181341.png]](https://s13.postimg.org/koq9djqxz/Screenshot_20161019_181341.png)
What player is that that uses the old-ass Gingerbread interface AND has ads?
Is Shannon on Amazon ? Interesting image on your replies.
(10-19-2016, 07:24 PM)DisneylandUSA Wrote: [ -> ]Is Shannon on Amazon ? Interesting image on your replies.
No, they're contextual. I sell lots of things on Amazon, so it's just showing a general Amazon ad.
Fucked up, accidentally put the playlist on repeat. I got a whopping 5.5 loops of v2.5 flowing through me. Let's see if I turn into Doctor Strange or some shit. So far, I'm rather energetic and again, not hungry.
Tested the "play it low" theory again last night. Remarkable results. Very lucid dreams, tapping away at some deep seated beliefs. I can't tell if it's v2.4's healing modules still chugging away in my subconscious or if v2.5 is capable of healing through brute force, OR if I'm just accepting the program's code. Anyway, last night's dreams felt very... purgative. I was at some kind of school reunion -- but it spread across my entire grade school career. I was running into sixth grade teachers, high school friends, kindergarten associates -- was wacky. The same thing kept happening in my dream that happens in real life: when I run into them (since I'm from a small town, this happens alot), they generally don't recognize me. I was a skinny dork in grade school. Now I'm tall, built and confident.
I ran into a guy from the past about four months ago. He came from a rich family, was drove a Saleen Mustang in high school. Now, he's broke, his family lost all of their money and he's living with his parents. I was just chatting it up with him and he goes, "You are just so different, it's like a new person." He didn't know that the secret was cocaine, hookers, money and banging bitches... and then leaving that life behind after AM6 (I've seen the game, that's why I don't buy half the intellectual nonsense that many of the men here peddle).
Anyway, the dream leads me to believe that the healing modules have made it back to my grade school years and is doing some magic there. That being said, IF I stay on DMSI, I'm probably going to alternate weekly. I want to make sure that the healing modules stay fresh. Also gives me time to gauge my progress.
Heading out to buy some food and supplies. Will be interesting to see how people respond to me in boxing. I'm particularly waiting for this one Mexican guy to show up. He's the most arrogant -- the one that bumped into me like an idiot.
Was feeling really weird today, so I did a mental alchemy drill to check my subconscious response. This one is different from the other one I usually do. This one involves some serious imagination skills and a high level of self-awareness. I don't mind sharing this one because it isn't really dangerous (unlike the other one, that comes with a ridiculous amount of dangers, particularly because it's really similar to automatic writing).
Anyway, you start out by meditating until you're at the border between alpha and theta. It's extremely hard to maintain this state for long periods of time -- most people just fall asleep. This is the area of awareness just before you fall asleep, where you'll see and hear weird sounds and see crazy images. I use the middle pillar exercise to keep myself energized while doing it and the intense level of focus in holding the imagery keeps me awake.
Sometimes, you'll feel a strange energy flood at this point. If that happens, don't freak out, just move on. In your mind's eye, try to imagine that you're the woman of your dreams, and then YOU walk up and greet her. Note how this female avatar of yourself feels. Note her reaction. Try to stay in that state as long as possible and become very aware of the thoughts arising.
I'm really tired and probably explained that terribly, so PM me if you have any questions. Be warned (and I'm sure Shannon's gonna warn you too), you'll most likely fuck up your DMSI results trying to do this, as it'll mess with the state-shifting and stuff. I can get in and out of a meditative state in about 15 minutes, as chaos magick requires being able to go into trance and I've been practicing this daily for awhile now.
Anyway, my discovery? While "projecting" into this female avatar, I began to experience feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety. But not for my OWN sexual attraction to women. For HER sexual attraction to me. WTF is that? Why would I be ashamed for a woman to be attracted to me? It's almost like... I didn't trust her attraction, if that makes any sense. Is this a self-worth issue or what?
Thoughts appreciated. Spare me any SJW, shaming AMOG shit, though.
I had a similar experience this summer too that I didn't post here. Ran into a guy who was really popular in high school, star of the football team and had a hot gf. But 5 years later he was basically my bitch, the dynamic was so clear and it even seemed natural. Strange how that works.
I know plenty of heavy cocaine users who aren't getting laid a lot. Cocaine dealers on the other hand....it's when people want/need something from you and you know what to do with it, that's game. It can be manipulated, you can create illusions, street fame based on word of mouth. People are impressionable and easily swayed.
I saw a podcast the other day, some guy who became famous for being a baller. Using his poker winnings to party with hot chicks. Interesting shit, he was talking about how models fuck some executive and they're basically set money wise. That shit is real, it's how they were doing it in playboy too.
Edit: Yeah, I do that too. Place myself mentally and emotionally into a female and view things from her perspective. I'm not sure how I picked that up, but I've been doing it for some time. They have this need to be perfect, that's the issue with hot girls. It's more important to appear perfect than to have fun with a cool guy. And so they keep fucking it up. I don't meditate tho, don't need to, tho I tried it and got to that place, but other things were more effective for me.
(10-20-2016, 05:35 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Anyway, last night's dreams felt very... purgative. I was at some kind of school reunion -- but it spread across my entire grade school career. I was running into sixth grade teachers, high school friends, kindergarten associates -- was wacky. The same thing kept happening in my dream that happens in real life: when I run into them (since I'm from a small town, this happens alot), they generally don't recognize me. I was a skinny dork in grade school. Now I'm tall, built and confident.
"chaosvrgn, THIS...IS...YOUR...LIFE!!!"
So, I'm pretty sure that the boxing coach's daughter is sniped. Here's the problem(s) with that.
1 - She's the boxing coach's daughter. This dude is about 6 foot 5, three-hundred something pounds... and an AMAZING fighter. You'd think someone so big would be slow, but this dude moves around the ring like fucking Ali.
2 - She's not that attractive (in the face -- her body is pretty decent). At all. BUT... I'm oddly attracted to her. She seems like she'd be an amazing bang. She's got that personality where you know she'd be REALLLLLY into it and very submissive. A "taker," if you know what I mean. Damn autopilot / sniper. However...
3 - LAWD, that ass. I was watching her jump rope today and her ass was literally bouncing up and down like something you'd see in a fucking cartoon. All I could think about was her bent over and her ass bouncing against my dick.
Shit. I'm fantasizing about this now. Bros, I can't fuck my boxing coach's daughter. But here's how I know she's sniped. Today, we were working some pad drills. His son usually uses the paddles. She likes to hold the pads. I actually prefer the paddles because they train timing. The pads train accuracy. I'm already pretty surgical with my punches, can land on target. However, my timing is REALLY off and in the striking arts, perfect timing is key to being fast.
ANYWAY, I ended up being paired with her for the pads anyway, because the coach and I are at odds as to what I need to work on. I'll skip all that boring shit and get to the story. I walk up to her, and look in her eyes and smile. She immediately breaks out in the cutest little feminine giggle and begins to show submissive behavior. Lowering her head. Curling her body in to make herself look smaller. Looking down. All the signs of complete submission. And she couldn't control herself. She just kept giggling to the point that the coach asked her if she could stop flirting and handle the drill.
Once I started hitting the pads, she kept stopping to compliment how hard I was hitting the pads. I asked if she wanted me to hit them lighter and she said no, makes her feel safe knowing I can hit that hard (the gym is kinda in a ghetto).
She also keeps referring to me by my full name -- Christopher and saying it in this really sing-song manner. Followed me around the gym all night.
Sadly, I CAN'T FUCK MY BOXING COACH'S DAUGHTER. Yet. Once I move back to Cali, I may have to give her the king kong daddy dick, ya mean?
I realize that I've been neglecting Tinder and OkCupid, and manifestations are up. Lots of beautiful, black sistahs that are ripe for the fuckin' and I'm just ignoring it (and no, don't give a shit about your thoughts on black women, save it for another journal). I'm pretty sure that's resistance. Trying to stop myself from meeting people that will help me fulfill the target goal.
Oh yeah -- I'm trying to reach a weight goal of 190 pounds. I'm 227 now. I was 218 before starting DMSI v2.4. Now, it's possible that I've gained some significant muscle boxing, because I've NEVER worked out this hard in my life. This is some hard training. However, its more likely that it's a mixture of fat (from eating to power the aura) and a little bit of muscle from training. That being said, I wouldn't overeat on DMSI just to try and justify it with, b-b-b-b-but da aura!
(10-20-2016, 06:39 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]I realize that I've been neglecting Tinder and OkCupid, and manifestations are up. Lots of beautiful, black sistahs that are ripe for the fuckin' and I'm just ignoring it (and no, don't give a shit about your thoughts on black women, save it for another journal). I'm pretty sure that's resistance. Trying to stop myself from meeting people that will help me fulfill the target goal.
Interestingly enough, a female friend of mine has been nagging me to set up a Tinder account for the past several weeks, and she even took a picture of me which should work well, according to her (I've never used any online dating stuff). And I still have not done that. I will, though, sooner or later. For science, of course.
(10-20-2016, 06:39 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]So, I'm pretty sure that the boxing coach's daughter is sniped. Here's the problem(s) with that.
1 - She's the boxing coach's daughter. This dude is about 6 foot 5, three-hundred something pounds... and an AMAZING fighter. You'd think someone so big would be slow, but this dude moves around the ring like ***** Ali.
2 - She's not that attractive (in the face -- her body is pretty decent). At all. BUT... I'm oddly attracted to her. She seems like she'd be an amazing bang. She's got that personality where you know she'd be REALLLLLY into it and very submissive. A "taker," if you know what I mean. Damn autopilot / sniper. However...
3 - LAWD, that ass. I was watching her jump rope today and her ass was literally bouncing up and down like something you'd see in a ***** cartoon. All I could think about was her bent over and her ass bouncing against my dick.
Shit. I'm fantasizing about this now. Bros, I can't **** my boxing coach's daughter. But here's how I know she's sniped. Today, we were working some pad drills. His son usually uses the paddles. She likes to hold the pads. I actually prefer the paddles because they train timing. The pads train accuracy. I'm already pretty surgical with my punches, can land on target. However, my timing is REALLY off and in the striking arts, perfect timing is key to being fast.
ANYWAY, I ended up being paired with her for the pads anyway, because the coach and I are at odds as to what I need to work on. I'll skip all that boring shit and get to the story. I walk up to her, and look in her eyes and smile. She immediately breaks out in the cutest little feminine giggle and begins to show submissive behavior. Lowering her head. Curling her body in to make herself look smaller. Looking down. All the signs of complete submission. And she couldn't control herself. She just kept giggling to the point that the coach asked her if she could stop flirting and handle the drill.
Once I started hitting the pads, she kept stopping to compliment how hard I was hitting the pads. I asked if she wanted me to hit them lighter and she said no, makes her feel safe knowing I can hit that hard (the gym is kinda in a ghetto).
She also keeps referring to me by my full name -- Christopher and saying it in this really sing-song manner. Followed me around the gym all night.
Sadly, I CAN'T **** MY BOXING COACH'S DAUGHTER. Yet. Once I move back to Cali, I may have to give her the king kong daddy dick, ya mean?
I realize that I've been neglecting Tinder and OkCupid, and manifestations are up. Lots of beautiful, black sistahs that are ripe for the fuckin' and I'm just ignoring it (and no, don't give a shit about your thoughts on black women, save it for another journal). I'm pretty sure that's resistance. Trying to stop myself from meeting people that will help me fulfill the target goal.
Oh yeah -- I'm trying to reach a weight goal of 190 pounds. I'm 227 now. I was 218 before starting DMSI v2.4. Now, it's possible that I've gained some significant muscle boxing, because I've NEVER worked out this hard in my life. This is some hard training. However, its more likely that it's a mixture of fat (from eating to power the aura) and a little bit of muscle from training. That being said, I wouldn't overeat on DMSI just to try and justify it with, b-b-b-b-but da aura!
Great Testimony. I bet if you were in Boxing competitions; He would be ok with his daughter and you together; especially, if you Coach has his hand in collecting your $$$ winnings.
It's been about 8 days on v2.5. Debating between switching back to v2.4 for 7 days to keep the healing modules going, or continuing on with v2.5.
Honestly... I kinda wanna see what'll happen if I keep going. I feel really amazing today. Like someone's stated before, you usually see the benefits of clearing modules afters you stop running them. Definitely seems true in this situation. I'm feeling super powerful and sexy today, like I could take on the entire world and then some.
Here's something crazy -- I've been training INSANELY hard in boxing for the past 5 days. Last night, I was so sore that I was almost crawling out of the gym. Told the coach there's was no way I'd make it to class tonight because of it. Well... I woke up this morning feeling hardly any pain. More than enough to fight tonight. Definitely some kind of side effect of DMSI. I've never had recomp speed like this.
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