On the second day on the 5 day cycle. Slept through the night for the first time since starting this version. Nice to finally get some restfull sleep. Had a few dreams that I can barely remember. Had a lot of upheaval in the previous nights with this version with frequent awakenings and difficulty getting back to sleep. However, nothing on the front where it really matters. I feel ghosted / completely invisible.
A combination of ghosting and disrupted sleep tells me that you have some part of yourself fighting hard to stonewall and/or reverse resist the program. The more disturbed your sleep is, the more your subconscious is either dealing with, or fighting. It won't cooperate, or maybe even reverses the results you should be getting. The fact that you're having disrupted sleep, then, tells us the FRM is working, and working on something big.
(12-16-2018, 08:52 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]A combination of ghosting and disrupted sleep tells me that you have some part of yourself fighting hard to stonewall and/or reverse resist the program. The more disturbed your sleep is, the more your subconscious is either dealing with, or fighting. It won't cooperate, or maybe even reverses the results you should be getting. The fact that you're having disrupted sleep, then, tells us the FRM is working, and working on something big.
I suspect as much, but the sbc has it's marching orders and will cooperate come hell or high waters. STAT.
What a difference a couple of days makes. Got approached twice lat Sunday. Brought my son for skating. While at the bench watching my son, a chinese woman skated over and started to chat. She's usually with her hubby but he wasn't there that day. She must have talked for over 20 minutes asking a lot of questions. The second time a blonde in her 30's came over and asked if I was an organ donor and must have talked for about 10 min. I almost told her that I could loan her my d%*k. A lot of looks that day. Monday and Tuesday were more quiet. However, the women at work were a lot more chatty, but nothing unusual. Today was better. Got a lot of smiles from random women that I came accross during the day. Tonight at the grocery store, was at the meat section looking at chicken when a blonde came and parked herself right beside me and started to look at meat as well. I still have a short fuse and tend to have very little patience at work with some of the bullshit that on going. I would say that the FRM is working perhaps too well in some situation as I told my boss during a meeting I would not hesitate to leave if the right opportunity came and have denied requests to some of my colleagues who in my opinion are taking advantage of my good will. These are things i would not have said in the past. Starting my two day break tonight.
First day of two day break. Was shopping tonight and in a span of 10 minutes caught 8 women looking straight at me. Unreal.
It's been very quiet in the last week. I've been running the sub religiously and I will start my two day break tomorrow. One thing that I've observed is that i seam to get only results while on the 2 day break. The only dream that i can recall is one where I was at a college graduation ceremony graduating at the top of my class.
Results wise, getting eye contact from women but i would characterize these as more inquisitive than sexual. The only observation close to the latter was while walking at the mall was behind a tall stunning brunette approximately 10 m in front of me. She turned her head slightly to the side and took a glance in my direction with just her eyes. I kept walking behind her maintaining the same distance. Unsure of her intentions, I switched to the opposite side from where she looked the first time. Again she looked back in the sane manner but since I wasn't in her field of vision she stopped dead in her tracks to regain her bearings looking back to where I had moved. She looked at me with a blank stare turned around and headed into a store. I have the feeling that she probably think that I was toying with her. However, I'm slowly learning the art of reading body language and getting experience in appropriately reading the small and subtle signs.
Nothing unusual to report that would be different than what I've experienced in previous versions. No fap module seem to be doing its thing as I have less of a desire to do it to relieve pressure. Had a dream last night of being caught in a monster snowfall event that resulted in approximately 30 m of snow. That snow all melted resulting in massive flooding thay completely submerged the car i was driving.
I feel that I'm getting a breakthrough. I felt the morphine drip at the gym while working out in a very powerful way yesterday. As soon as I stepped into the gym, a brunette who was with a personal trainer was checking me out from the treadmill. Throughout the night she made repeated eye contact with me. At the end of my workout, I headed to the change room and when I came out she was already at the exit talking to the trainer. I'm putting on my street shoes and my coat. As I head out, she cuts short her convo and puts on her coat and follows me as I'm heading to the grocery store. She's behind me and I can hear her talking to someone on her cell. In the store, i lose track of her and after paying I head to my car. I start the car and I'm about to drive away when she walks right in front of the car looks briefly in my direction and beams the cutest genuine smile I've seen in awhile and heads to her car.
Today at work in the kitchen I'm making my diner. A colleague of mine J walks in and comments on my food. I walk out and head to my office, she's right behind me and asks all kinds of questions. She's good looking and has a very nice facial features. However, she's not someone who I've been particularly attracted to, until now. As we're talking I can feel this attraction building up and I'm getting really turned on. I'm certain that she also felt something as well as she started to stutter. We're alone in the hallway and eventually we ran out of things to say and there's this awkward moment when there's this tension between us with her having this look on her face pleading for me to take this further. Had I wanted to, I'm almost certain that i could have made out with her right there. I've seen that look from other women that I've dated before. Considering that we have policies at work forbidding fraternization between colleagues it would have been too much of a risk to venture in that direction. Unfortunately, I wished her good night and headed to my office to eat.
On another note, I validated my 4 lottery tickets from the last draw snd 3 of them were winners. Minor prizes mind you but a good week overall. I'm starting my 2 day break tonight.
On my second day of my break on version 3.3. Not much happened since the last time I've posted. Had a few dreams that I can't recall. Looking forward to begin 3.3.1 tomorrow night. We'll see what happens when FRM does it's thing.
Started my 3 day break today after the completion of my first 7 day run. It was difficult to get all 8 loops in one shot each day but managed to do it. Fapped the first three days and realized the futility of doing it. Since then, I haven't had the desire. First impressions. I have no anxiety. Just one exception when I was in a lineup today when a pregnant woman made eye contact with me. She kept starring at me and after approximately 15 seconds, I became uncomfortable and was the first one to break it off. Lots of IOI's which are increasing in intensity and duration. But no approaches yet on this version.
On this version you do see the futility of flapping way your power
(02-03-2019, 07:13 AM)Shadow2200 Wrote: [ -> ]On this version you do see the futility of flapping way your power
Yes. Having read what other people are posting in their journal about fapping, it pretty sums up my conclusions. I don't know if I'm phrasing this right but fapping also indicates a mindset of scarcity instead of abundance. The realisation would be analogous to someone who quits smoking looking at his last cigarette, laughs out loud and throws it away.
Time for an update. It was fairly uneventful until today. I was walking in the mall with my son when a woman who's selling beauty products yells at me to come over. She's a slender blonde Eastern European woman with very long legs who in my estimation is between 25 and 30. She's at least 6 ft and a solid 7 in my attraction scale. She directs me to a chair to sit. As she applies a lotion to my face, she ask my age. I tell her and she replies that i look at least 10 years younger. She's trying to sell me stuff which i steadfastly refuse to buy. I'm trying to wiggle my way out of this when she asks if she can leave me her business card in case i change my mind. I reply in the affirmative. She's gone for about a min and comes back with a piece of paper which she shoves in my hand. I grab it and leave. I open it up a few minutes later and there's a cell number and a gmail address with her name on it. Completely unsolicited. I have more to say but will update later on tonight.
EDIT: had to cut the post short as my phone was giving up the ghost. Felt the morphine drip this morning and it was particularly strong to the point I felt giddy. Had 4 or 5 looks from women today which i would charaterize as lascivious and lustful. A few revelations today. Age is a number. I'm not sure that women care as much about age differences as long as you're physically fit. Second, I'm loosing my hair and this hasn't been a detriment so far. I'm wearing my hair extremely short to match my condition. I was even able to joke about it this morning with the woman who was trying to sell me the lotions. So we're slowly getting there but we're not yet at the point where full execution is happening. But it's just a matter of time. Tomorrow is another day. We'll see what that brings.
(02-09-2019, 02:14 PM)Snoop Wrote: [ -> ]Time for an update. It was fairly uneventful until today. I was walking in the mall with my son when a woman who's selling beauty products yells at me to come over. She's a slender blonde Eastern European woman with very long legs who in my estimation is between 25 and 30. She's at least 6 ft and a solid 7 in my attraction scale. She directs me to a chair to sit. As she applies a lotion to my face, she ask my age. I tell her and she replies that i look at least 10 years younger. She's trying to sell me stuff which i steadfastly refuse to buy. I'm trying to wiggle my way out of this when she asks if she can leave me her business card in case i change my mind. I reply in the affirmative. She's gone for about a min and comes back with a piece of paper which she shoves in my hand. I grab it and leave. I open it up a few minutes later and there's a cell number and a gmail address with her name on it. Completely unsolicited. I have more to say but will update later on tonight.
EDIT: had to cut the post short as my phone was giving up the ghost. Felt the morphine drip this morning and it was particularly strong to the point I felt giddy. Had 4 or 5 looks from women today which i would charaterize as lascivious and lustful. A few revelations today. Age is a number. I'm not sure that women care as much about age differences as long as you're physically fit. Second, I'm loosing my hair and this hasn't been a detriment so far. I'm wearing my hair extremely short to match my condition. I was even able to joke about it this morning with the woman who was trying to sell me the lotions. So we're slowly getting there but we're not yet at the point where full execution is happening. But it's just a matter of time. Tomorrow is another day. We'll see what that brings.
Stuff like that has a nack of happening on this version