Subliminal Talk

(01-05-2019, 12:51 AM)DarthXedonias Wrote: [ -> ]Its not the fact that she found someone else that really hurts the most. Its the fact that she didn't just reply to me saying for example, "Hey I found someone else and I don't think it would be appropriate for me to keep talking to you". At least with that I could understand and get some sort of closure but she just went with the ignore option. This is the exact same way she acted when we broke up. She just ignored me for like 2-3 weeks or gave me one word replies. It wasn't until I confronted her about avoiding and ignoring me she finally came clean about it and she was the one that said to remain "friends" in the first place. Seems like she wasn't honest about that either. I know this is a lot but feel like I need to vent somewhat.

Women seem to do that quite often. They always say they want to talk but as far there is something to talk about they rather disappear than talk. It can be very frustrating.

(01-05-2019, 02:22 AM)Shawn Wrote: [ -> ]Women seem to do that quite often. They always say they want to talk but as far there is something to talk about they rather disappear than talk. It can be very frustrating.

Tell me about it. Well, after some rest I'm mostly over it. I just try not to think about it as much because if I get that picture in my head I start feeling hurt and angry. I knew that I shouldn't have went back and took up the "friends" BS after the break up. That almost never, ever ends well and yet despite the fact that I should know better I did it anyway. If someone isn't going to treat you right in a relationship they sure as hell ain't going to treat you right as just friends.

Also, because of that whole debacle the other women that I was talking to got mad because when I didn't respond to her messages right away she assumed that I must have really liked the other women still and that I was ignoring her so she tried to just say "Go ahead and try to be with her.. I will just not even expect you to come visit me but thanks for talking to me those other times". After I told her I was actually busy at the time, and basically called her on this BS of her knowing what my intentions are and what I'm thinking at the time she actually surprised me by apologizing.

Granted, After her constant paranoia of maybe I'm just focusing on other girls instead of her and hence why I'm not replying to her I think this is probably a bad sign that I shouldn't pursue any further. Whenever Some girl is paranoid about you talking to some other women I always get the sneaking suspicion its a tell tale sign that she has been cheated on before and therefore she already has trust issues. Generally, I try to avoid any women like that.

Either way, I think this whole debacle has shown me something. I had already been thinking about this for a while but pretty much as soon as Ultra Monetary Success comes out I will be switching to that. I really have some things I need to pay off and given my future goals I think it will be really helpful for me. I really want to get another passive income within the next 5 years while I work in Korea so I can stop working soon afterwards. After much research I think I have decided as well that I will probably spend half my time in Thailand and the other half in the Philippines. If the reviews for the new LTU are good I might switch to that instead but not until I test out 3.3 in Korea or another country first. I want to see if my hunch about it working in another country is right.

That is all for now, see ya guys later.

(01-06-2019, 12:21 AM)DarthXedonias Wrote: [ -> ]Also, because of that whole debacle the other women that I was talking to got mad because when I didn't respond to her messages right away she assumed that I must have really liked the other women still and that I was ignoring her so she tried to just say "Go ahead and try to be with her.. I will just not even expect you to come visit me but thanks for talking to me those other times". After I told her I was actually busy at the time, and basically called her on this BS of her knowing what my intentions are and what I'm thinking at the time she actually surprised me by apologizing.

I was surprised to read that because it is like you would write about me. This is pretty much the same I am experiencing with one of the women I am in contact at this time. I also suspect the same reason behind her behavior.

Well, glad the forums are finally up because now I can finally report on something I've noticed. First off for full disclosure I missed just a few days, which I think was a combination of resistance and having that last incident I mentioned in my last post putting me in a semi-depressive state. I am back on it though and trying to be vigilant against that again. There is one main obstacle that I want to talk about though and its one I have already pointed out before hand which seems to be a recurring problem.

Once again, like on the last version of US/LM, I am still seeing this tactic of just artificially messing with my ability to be motivated in order to not execute. This is on multiple fronts as well. My ability to get through my studies has gone down to a snails pace because if I actually graduated that means -gasp- as soon as I get to Korea I would actually execute DMSI. I can't be motivated to go to the gym, which I tried to recently do, because if I got too big like I plan on doing I would also start getting female attention and start executing in a way. Its like I can feel this constant conflict inside of me and the part resisting is literally doing everything it can to keep this "demotivate game" going.

There are times when I try to get myself motivated but then its like I get distracted by some random thought then when I get back to my original line of thinking the motivation has been "drained" as it were. Honestly, the first thing I can think of is that dream I mentioned a while back where I was trying to head somewhere but as soon as I take a few steps its like my mind just gets "wiped" and I try to figure out why I was there. I stop, try to remember what I was doing and where I was going. I remember why I was there and where I was going. I start heading in that direction again then the whole process starts all over again. I really do feel like that dream was giving some insight of what was going on.

Either way, I thought I would report this again since Shannon said he thought he might have taken care of this with this version of FRM but it doesn't seem to be working as much. Seems like the old tricks are still being used. Hopefully it can be found out what is causing this so this whole can be plugged in. I'm just so tired of this and I don't know why I'm so afraid of success. Its like apart of me would rather have complete failure in all those things I said above than succeed. I just don't get where all this fear comes from and why its it going to such great lengths.

With the new version of FRM being finished up I thought I would take stock of how its been like up to this point but I ended up figuring out more last night. I really thought about what has gone over the last 2 versions of DMSI and I pretty much was able to concisely put into words how I was resisting up to this last year.

First off though I did notice with 3.1 it was sort of different. That was the one I actually saw the most results with, at the beginning, until the whole redefining terms and reversal resistance set in. 3.2 is where things started to change. With 3.2 B it a "Scorched Earth" response where my anger, hate and rage was manipulated to fuel resistance and if any of those emotions started to lower a external event would manifest itself to refuel those emotions. On 3.2 A it was to increase or magnify my feeling of apathy. This is where the sniper wouldn't activate because I would look at a women and just say (every single time) "I don't care". Like My sex drive and sexual interest was turned off. Now with 3.3 (and pretty much any sub with FRM) its been to feel absolutely no motivation or will power to do anything.

After I realized the different ways I have resisted since 3.2 D, I recognized a common theme among all of them. It seems the overall method of resistance is to: "artificially" manipulate an underlying emotion that will de-rail execution. This can be done by artificially increasing and magnifying an underlying emotion (Anger, rage, hate, apathy, etc) or decreasing an emotion to being almost non existent (motivation, will power, sexual desire, etc). Either way, thought I would point that out since up to this point I hadn't really had a concise way to explaining what is going on. This is obviously different from the 3.1 days where it was messing around with word terms and legalities.

Well, guess its time for my report. I will have just one more day left of listening then I have my 3 day break. This might be long but some funny things have happened.

The first major internal thing I noticed is that when I listened there came a point where there was just this part of me, this part of me that seems to just need to have control over everything. I think what it can't have control over it either avoids or destroys (in the example of a relationship). It got to a point where apparently the sub was just too powerful and I said in my mind, "I don't want this anymore. I don't want to keep having control over my life". Kind of weird phrase but it made sense to me. Once I made that decision it was like my mind went completely blank for a good long time. I assumed this was because that fear of losing control and not having control was a basis for a lot of my faulty beliefs. Once I let go of the control and let the sub do as it wished the beliefs that had their roots in that fear just died it would seem. I also felt my body literally just release this long standing tension I wasn't aware of up till now.

Either way since that has happened I have noticed somethings. I have less and less problem actually expressing emotion or displeasure with bullshit. Its like I'm not afraid of my own feelings and it actually feels invigorating to actually express them. I also have this feeling that certain changes are happening internally on a daily basis but I'm not sure what they are. It seems to be little tweaks here and there I notice a bit after I wake up. I do notice as well that I definitely have uninterrupted sleep unlike before. As for external results I will go with the good first then the bad. The good is I had started making profiles again, especially on this one site I hadn't tried yet. Meh, most of the girls seemed to be flaky but then out of no where I start talking to this one chick from Indonesia who is relatively decent looking.

On top of that though we seem to just click just really well and things are progressing pretty quickly. On top of that because of her culture she has no problem with me having 3 other women (gave away her cultural background there) besides herself and actually encourages it funny enough. It is most likely at this point that I will be going to visit her instead of my original idea of taking another trip to the Philippines. I do find it curious that as soon as I start this version I meet a women like this who has no problem with me having other women and is of the old school opinion of "If the significant other asks for sex then I am duty bound to give it to him whenever he wants". As far as her mentality it seems to be very, very traditional. As far as she is concern her only job, in her mind, is to stay home, take care of the house, take care of any kids, cook, and fuck her man when he wants it (along with any other women involved with him).

Now for the bad. The only downside is that literally I have not left my room since I've started this version. I haven't gone to the gym and I haven't gone to the post office which I really need to. Thing is I have this idea that part of me is deathly, I mean deathly afraid of what happens when I go outside and interact with people. It could mean various things. Though I admit the idea that when I come across a women when I leave the apartment that fulfill the requirements for the sniper that part that is deathly afraid is probably afraid that it will not be able to resist and it will have to execute the instructions.

That's about it for now really that I can report. For now I just really need to leave the apartment though it feels like there is just this paralysis about doing that. On top of that I still haven't seen a change in my study habits and I really need to change that soon. Literally, I need to graduate hopefully in at least March so I can move out of here like I planned.

It sounds like you are making great progress! Congratulations. So one major source of fear and resistance has been dealt with, only to reveal another. That's not too surprising. That part of you that is afraid to go outside now, this is doubtless the last defense option it has. And sooner or later, you have to go outside. How quickly does FRM seem to be working on this current issue?

(01-29-2019, 06:52 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It sounds like you are making great progress! Congratulations. So one major source of fear and resistance has been dealt with, only to reveal another. That's not too surprising. That part of you that is afraid to go outside now, this is doubtless the last defense option it has. And sooner or later, you have to go outside. How quickly does FRM seem to be working on this current issue?

Hmm I'm not totally sure yet. There seems to be daily progress to a degree because I notice slight changes every time I wake up. Its seems like most of the work seems to be getting done while I'm asleep and I suppose when I am least resistant to the suggestions. I do think it might take a while though because I have noticed a recurring theme. Most of the time my mind doesn't even drift to going outside but when it does I notice right away my mind just goes blank and then usually my thought patterns move on to something else or one could say I get "distracted" by something else.

I should mention some other things I forgot to mention in the previous post that might interest you. As for the porn thing I still haven't watch any. There is still a part that every once in a while 'whispers" almost that it just wants to release and no matter how seductive or forceful it tries it like something just won't allow me to do it. Sometimes if it gets particularly bad (when its being forceful and almost frenzy like) I find myself taking a calm breath and saying, "I don't want control anymore" and kind of give myself permission to just allow the sub to do its thing. That seems to just help calm my mind down automatically.

Another thing which kind of perplexes me yet you might find interesting is that I remember there were actually 2 times my sleep got interrupted and both by the same thing. Basically I would be sleeping then I jolt awake as soon as I feel my body just start to heat to incredible levels. I then throw off the covers quickly and turn on the fan. I still remain warm to a degree but no where near as hot as my body originally got. I can only think that maybe for whatever reason something was getting worked on and the aura activated in some crazy, insane way. In no version that I have tried before have I ever gotten that hot and not to mention start sweating quite a bit.

I think that's about it for anything else I forgot to mention.

I find that my subconscious tries to resist me doing certain things by distracting me. Oh, here's a question, don't you want to know the answer to this question? Let's go find the answer to this question right now! And away we go down the Google rabbit hole, which can eat hours if I don't catch on. I am pretty good about noticing this tactic now and either defeating it at the outset or just indulging it to answer that one question in a minute or two and then getting back on track. But it requires conscious effort sometimes to direct myself back on track.

Do you live in a place where there are people around all the time when you step outside, or where you can go stand in your yard and not see people?

That shift sounds big! Especially with you reporting how you just went 'numb' with the last version.

I love her mindset, keeping the man pleased and such.

(01-29-2019, 07:55 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Do you live in a place where there are people around all the time when you step outside, or where you can go stand in your yard and not see people?

hmmm I would say my street does seem quite a bit of traffic, particularly in the morning, but not really that much. There is a yard that is part of this apartment building but I haven't even gone there and yeah, generally you won't see any people unless they are also in their yards. As for the Aura flaring up It could be the Hispanic couple who live right above me, pretty sure their bed room is right above mines, and I sleep right near my window which is slight above and a bit across from the window of another women in a house right next to the complex.

btw, I wanted to really get your opinion on something if you didn't mind. I will definitely not be leaving DMSI for a while because quite frankly I feel the way you said about when you met your current girlfriend. That there was something so unique about the women that you were really willing to hold on to this relationship. I can honestly say that even though its kind of still early I am feeling the same way about this women in that finding a women with the thoughts and mentality that she has, very hardcore traditionalist I might add, is very rare even in her country. So with that in mind I definitely do not want to switch from DMSI anytime soon for now since I don't want my focus switched somewhere else and then the relationship affected in a negative way due to that.

Though if things are going to go the way I think they might be going I will need to become more financially stable in the coming months. Also due to my plans I really do realize I don't just want to be financially stable but also really thrive financially as well. I would like to do BAMM in the future, if I get approved for it, when the newest version comes out but to meet maybe major financial goals until then do you think it would be beneficial to maybe running the Monetary success sub you will be working on until that the 6G version of BAMM comes out? Once again this isn't for right now, since I want to keep what DMSI is doing right now going, but for later on when I will obviously need to be more financially stable, etc. Also, do you plan on changing any of the requirements needed to be approved to run BAMM for the 6G version? or will they basically just be the same?

Quote:That shift sounds big! Especially with you reporting how you just went 'numb' with the last version.

I love her mindset, keeping the man pleased and such.

Yeah, I do pretty like these new changes though I can't understand all that is going on which is as I understand it by design. As for here yeah, I am loving her mindset and seems to be very traditional in demeanor. I mean when she mentioned the being with 3 other women thing she did say she completely understood it seeing as some men just have really strong sex drives so they might need more than one women. She said this all non-nonchalantly as well. Like she was just commenting on the weather or something. Her only requirement was that she hoped I got with women that she could get along with apparently which isn't too much to ask imo. So far this women has really, really impressed me so far. Knows how to cook, clean, makes sure her man is satisfied and surprisingly wants 7 kids (hence part of my reason asking Shannon about the financial stability aspect). She seems as far as from some career women as could possibly be really and I like her for that. I had enough of Feminist and Career type women with my mother.. and I sword I would never get with someone like that.

Quote:btw, I wanted to really get your opinion on something if you didn't mind. I will definitely not be leaving DMSI for a while because quite frankly I feel the way you said about when you met your current girlfriend. That there was something so unique about the women that you were really willing to hold on to this relationship. I can honestly say that even though its kind of still early I am feeling the same way about this women in that finding a women with the thoughts and mentality that she has, very hardcore traditionalist I might add, is very rare even in her country. So with that in mind I definitely do not want to switch from DMSI anytime soon for now since I don't want my focus switched somewhere else and then the relationship affected in a negative way due to that.

Though if things are going to go the way I think they might be going I will need to become more financially stable in the coming months. Also due to my plans I really do realize I don't just want to be financially stable but also really thrive financially as well. I would like to do BAMM in the future, if I get approved for it, when the newest version comes out but to meet maybe major financial goals until then do you think it would be beneficial to maybe running the Monetary success sub you will be working on until that the 6G version of BAMM comes out? Once again this isn't for right now, since I want to keep what DMSI is doing right now going, but for later on when I will obviously need to be more financially stable, etc. Also, do you plan on changing any of the requirements needed to be approved to run BAMM for the 6G version? or will they basically just be the same?

I think that once you have achieved a good level of success with DMSI, UMS may be a good choice, depending on how your female entourage stands.

As for the approval process, it may be changed, it may not. I don't know yet.

ok, been waiting to give this report because frankly I had no idea how to put what has been happening into words. Still really don't know how to really but I will try. Needless to say I will keep on DMSI for a while even though it would seem its done quite a lot already. I did buy LTU for preparation for later on but like I said I will stay on this for a while longer (probably 2 weeks). Mind you I'm doing this for a very specific reason which I will lay out below and will become very apparent. Short of it do to what has been happening I "need" to graduate in March. No if, ands, or buts about it. I need to get that piece of paper and start making money.

Ok, for the long of it. Essentially I have 2 women that in the coming months I will be getting married to and they have both spoken to each other and are ok with the arrangement. First I should explain about the chick who I had mentioned in my previous post. She is from Indonesia and is very traditional. Wants to basically have a bunch of kids and stay home for the most part along with serving her man. She is 27 currently and working in Bali, Indonesia at the moment. This is after 8 years of working in Hong Kong basically taking care of elderly people and sending money back home. Even now while she is in Bali she is still sending money back home (like 75% of her paycheck). Apparently, her mother has poor health and her younger brother got in an accident that has left him permanently crippled (I did verify this as well). Also in case your wondering, nope she didn't ask me for money. I know that type of scam all too well so whenever a women would try that I just block them. I have no time dealing with that bullshit.

Anyway, she comes from a more traditional culture where they literally still have a dowry type thing. She has already talked to both her parents about me (a show of serious intention) and they have both given their approval. Mind you this only went so fast because her culture doesn't really date, though that's starting to change, but talk for a bit and if things seem in order there is an offer made. Anyway, despite something that did happen with her mother's health getting worst and her brother getting kicked out of school (once again, still didn't ask for money which is a good sign) that made her think about going back to Hong Kong to make more money to send back she realized she couldn't give me up and apparently wrote me a long text saying this and was literally crying for hours (what she said anyway). Mind you I did kind of push her in the direction of her just going to Hong Kong if she really needed to take care of her family and hence when she realized we would have to break contact she just couldn't go through with it.

Anyway, She is pretty much in the bag. So I just need to go visit her once then after that go again for the marriage and everything. Now for the second women who is actually from the Philippines. I had actually been talking to this one for weeks even before the other girl. After 3 days of cooling off because she was getting a bit too clingy I told her about the other girl and the whole thing. We had made an agreement if things didn't work out or I found someone else we would remain friends but my intuition told me something about this situation. So I kind of left little hints here and there and eventually she caught on to what I was suggesting. I came out and ask if she wouldn't mind being a second wife and she said she had no problem with it.

A little bit on this women. She is 28 and just really wants to settle down and have a family already. She had only one previous guy before for a couple of years who did become her fiance but they never got married due to what your about to read. Apparently this guy had real anger issues and was a drunk. She got beat regularly but stayed in the relationship for quite a long time. The final straw though was when she was pregnant then he beat her and she lost the baby. That was finally it for her and she just left. I really think this one was a manifestation based on what she has said. She says she had been on the site for years but ever since her last relationship she has basically been single for like 5 years and stayed at home helping take care of her mother and nephews (her sister is currently working in Lebanon at the moment). She has just been so afraid of being in a relationship since that she has barely talked to anyone on the site (she mentioned she had talked to maybe one foreigner on facebook but really wasn't as interested). Then one day a few weeks ago she said she was browsing the site and came across my profile. She said she saw me and what I read and just fell for me. I kind of wasn't paying attention really but she was persistent. She sent 2 other messages after the initial one to really get my attention so I gave in.

She's easy to talk to though she says she lives a very boring life. She just is mostly a home body and just wants to get married, take of the home, take care of any kids, and really take care of her man. I admit I was kind of freaked out a bit just because I think this was a shattering of my previous "reality" as it were. Before my reality was nothing but like women but them not liking me in return and just trying to "use" me like some orbiter. To have a women actually take a genuine interest in me and actually really, really seem devoted to me to the point of maybe even being obsessive sort of scared a part of me I think. I just wasn't used to it and it was something that didn't fit in that narrow reality I had always experienced. As a side note, Shannon is this common? That maybe someone comes across something that doesn't fit their preconceptions of how "reality" should be for them and then they get frightened by that?

Either way, this women is really devoted and knows she just wants a quite life at home. She made her devotion so clear that at one point she said that even if I wanted to her have 15 children she would do it for me. I will agree with her that she probably lives a boring life by other people's standards though she isn't boring to talk to at all really. I do have this feeling that after that horrible last relationship she sort of just closed herself off to the world and became a home body. The fact that I'm the only person she has really had any contact with (or had any desire to contact) outside her little "world" probably means she sees this relationship as very important to her so she doesn't want to lose me under any circumstances. So she is totally fine if I have other women and she has talked to the other girl and they seem to get along just fine for now.

As far as looks for the two girls they are decent. The Indonesian chick seems to be relatively decent in the looks department and has a nice body. Also, if she starts to notice herself gaining weight she actually starts monitoring her eating to keep herself good looking for her own health and to have her man still appreciate her. The Filipina chick has a relatively decent body. Is a little bit chubby but from what I've seen has nice thighs and a nice ass. Her facial looks aren't that great however but I guess she makes up for that with her personality and willingness to please her man. Anyway, those are the 2 women so far anyway. I could get other women which they both are fine with but I will hold off on that for probably a year or 2. I already have 2 potential meetings and weddings to plan.

With that said this has made me realize, as I mentioned above, that I definitely need to graduate in March. I need to do that so I can get a good job then start saving money up for all these expenses. Everything as far as meetings, etc should be done by mid Summer. Though I should say after I get my Bachelors I will be going straight to get my Master's as well. Will be getting a Master's in English so that I can get a high paying job in either Saudi Arabia or Dubai by this fall. Those places actually recognize these type of relationships so it wouldn't be hard to get a visa for them to join me as dependents when I go to work over there. Also, the pay is high and accommodations are usually provide. As far as subs, will keep with this a bit longer then I will switch to LTU because I need to graduate if any of this is going to come to fruition. Once I have my first degree, I will switch to UMS when it comes out.

I'm hoping in between doing all these things that I will maybe do some stock option investing once again. If UMS can help me emulate my previous success where I got up to 40k USD within 2 months that will be a big help. I also plan on finally using my VA home loan that I'm entitled to before I leave so I can buy some multi unit property that will help generate some additional income while I'm in Dubai or Saudi Arabia. Either way this is the plan for now and hopefully I execute it in a timely fashion. I did have one other quesiton as well @Shannon. Do you plan on doing further research on improving the FRM before UMS comes out? I just wonder because I feel like 4.4 is just at that point for me where I am seeing small progress every time I wake up though it seems very minimal each time. I have this feeling that whenever the next big upgrade will be that that might just push me to seeing a lot more rapid improvement. Granted, that is just an intuition I have at the moment so take it with a grain of salt. Though I also realize that you can only progress FRM as you come up with new ideas that might help improve it.

Anyway, thanks for everyone who was able to read through this wall of text. Sorry for any typos as well just really tired. Either way, looks like I have 2 permanent relationships in the bag for now so things have seemed to have been a success. With the improving relationship thing Shannon will be putting in LTU I think that will help me maintain what I have accomplished once have switched over. Either way, a lot of crazy stuff that has been going on that I would have never thought would happen. Hope I explained this all well enough.

Reality bending at work. This is what it looks like in action.

I am always looking for ways to improve FRM. They will be discovered when the time is right. I don't know when that will be but I know it's true. I'm looking at ways to improve it still and so far the ideas I have had haven't panned out, or they have to come in after something else I haven't found yet.

Congratulations. I hope you're not going so fast that you've overlooked something, but I do hope this is what it seems for you. And thank you for not trying to do the underhanded thing, and being up front and honest with your women.