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Not to much report.

Started Friday. I decided to take some time out and watch Wolf Children and The Boy and the Beast. Usually I come up with a dumb excuse on not watch this kind of stuff. Usually guilt, and shame because there is so much to do. It's funny though because I never get around to doing it.lol Oh and being to old to watch cartoons.

I've been looking after my appearance a tad bit more. Don't know what that has to the sub.

For some odd reason my mind is the gutter more than usual, and it don't take much to get turned on. Again don't know whats happening.

Can't think of anything else.Sleepy
Look good feel good. This sub also has a lot to do with overcoming sexual guilt and shame.

I think you're going to love how good this sub helps you feel.
I didn't think i had any sexual guilt and shame.Confused
What becomes normalized is not noticed. A lot of guilt, shame and fear in the world, and people who have it will swear all day long they don't. Then you start to take it away, and voila, they notice a difference.
@Shannon
I'm starting to realize that now. It seems like a lot of stuff that I thought I took care of or didn't need to is starting to show up.

Still difficult to tell if anything is going on.

Today a family member told me they were depressed and I kind of ignored them. In a way I didn't want to hear it right then. I figured when I got back from running my errands that I can come back comfort them, but when I came back they were gone.Undecided

I feel kinda like a bitch. I just wanted to get my stuff done and relax a little bit before I deal with them. I know I could deal with it better had I gotten a chance to do all that.

Usually I want to sub to start working helping to fix my problems ASAP. to Just taking it one day at time. It feels so much better to not stress over progress.
This program is designed to work at the right speed and level of intensity for you. That may mean it works very slowly on somethings, and faster on others. But it also means that it will always eventually achieve the goal.

Be patient with yourself. You deserve to be treated with patience and kindness. Smile
@Shannon
I'm trying to be patient. It isn't easy.

Woke up in the middle of the night and remembered when I went to exercise class how a one of the guy's couldn't stop staring at my butt. I thought it was funny at the time but now it bothers me so much. I know It doesn't make sense, still can't shake this feeling. A part of me is like I can't help that it's big.

Today at work I was having a conversation with the people I work. Weird...... I'm not very talkative, a group conversation on top that. When I do talk it's usually one on one, never more than that. I get drowned out easily so I avoid it. Then they said that I should hang out with them sometime. Of course I blushed and looked away.

I'm kind of confused like did I make friends(don't usually make them that fast).lol I was starting to enjoy my own company too. Gosh Darn-it I should rephrase that. I have had people tell me that were friends,were cool, whatever. It takes me a long ass time to warm up to people though.

Starting to talk to folks without being nervous and now I can to the store without a whole lot of anxiety. Not to worried about what people think about me, and I don't think too negativly about other people. It's not completely gone but it's getting better.
(03-25-2016 07:16 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote: [ -> ]Woke up in the middle of the night and remembered when I went to exercise class how a one of the guy's couldn't stop staring at my butt. I thought it was funny at the time but now it bothers me so much. I know It doesn't make sense, still can't shake this feeling. A part of me is like I can't help that it's big.

It's interesting how your thought isn't "he thinks my ass is cute" but "he thinks my ass is big" instead.
(03-25-2016 07:16 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote: [ -> ]Woke up in the middle of the night and remembered when I went to exercise class how a one of the guy's couldn't stop staring at my butt. I thought it was funny at the time but now it bothers me so much. I know It doesn't make sense, still can't shake this feeling. A part of me is like I can't help that it's big.

My dear, a man does not stare at what he does not find attractive. If a man is staring at your butt, it's because he likes it, and he finds you attractive. Remember that your perception of yourself is not how others may see you. I know a lot of guys who like what women usually consider "big butts". If a guy stares at your butt, take it as a compliment. Then smile warmly at him and go talk to him. You may end up on a date. He's attracted to you. A woman with a butt worth staring at is one of those women guys always want to get to know better. Smile

Remember Sir Mixalot? A lot of guys feel the same way. That's why Sir Mixalot is remembered for that song, and that song only.

Quote:Starting to talk to folks without being nervous and now I can to the store without a whole lot of anxiety. Not to worried about what people think about me, and I don't think too negativly about other people. It's not completely gone but it's getting better.

Excellent.
(03-26-2016 07:46 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]
(03-25-2016 07:16 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote: [ -> ]Woke up in the middle of the night and remembered when I went to exercise class how a one of the guy's couldn't stop staring at my butt. I thought it was funny at the time but now it bothers me so much. I know It doesn't make sense, still can't shake this feeling. A part of me is like I can't help that it's big.

My dear, a man does not stare at what he does not find attractive. If a man is staring at your butt, it's because he likes it, and he finds you attract. Remember that your perception of yourself is not how others may see you. I know a lot of guys who like what women usually consider "big butts". If a guy stares at your butt, take it as a compliment. Then smile warmly at him and go talk to him. You may end up on a date. He's attracted to you.

Remember Sir Mixalot? A lot of guys feel the same way. That's why Sir Mixalot is remembered for that song, and that song only.

Quote:Starting to talk to folks without being nervous and now I can to the store without a whole lot of anxiety. Not to worried about what people think about me, and I don't think too negativly about other people. It's not completely gone but it's getting better.

Excellent.

I can confirm this. If I'm staring at a butt it's because it definitely deserves a staring.
I was staring at a plump girl today with a nice big butt. There was something about it that made me want to get on it. I found out she has 2 kids, so her fertility is strong.
I like big butts I cannot lie you other brothers can't deny
See what I mean? By staring, guys are basically saying, "I think you are attractive, and especially whatever I am staring at, but I'm not sure how to approach you and get something started yet."
Yeah, most likely if a guy is a staring, they're attracted to you in some way. It doesn't seem to be the case vice versa though.
(03-26-2016 03:42 PM)maxx55 Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah, most likely if a guy is a staring, they're attracted to you in some way. It doesn't seem to be the case vice versa though.

LOL, I've had women stare at me and not know why. Then it became apparent one day when I overheard them talking to another man. Group of women talking to a guy I work with, "What are you wearing? Why don't you dress like 4Kingdoms!? Look at him and try to dress more like him."
Well that got a lot of responses.Blush

I still don't get why stuff like that bothers me though. I was laughing on the inside when it happened but still got disturbed. The only good thing that is currently happening is that the thought isn't bringing me as much frustration as it did a couple of nights ago but there is still an issue that needs to be worked on.
Okay I think I figured it out. I think I'm scared of being sexually attractive. I think it's more shame than fear. Or the shame feeds the fear.Sad How odd. Now what to do about it.

I'll just take it as a compliment from now on. And will even try approaching if I find them attractive of course.

Hey I think I motivated that guy through the class so that's a plusTongue

It's nice to get a guy's perception on things again so thanks everybody.
EHPRA 2.0 will work on guilt, shame and fear.
(03-26-2016 06:04 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]EHPRA 2.0 will work on guilt, shame and fear.

I know it will help out with that. It's just a pain to deal with at times but at least it's getting worked on. Makes you wonder how people deal with stuff like this on a daily bases. I'm in my mid twenties, and can't stand living like this, so how do people do this all their lives.

I forgot to mention Friday on the way to work I felt that something within me had been worked on. I was in a bad mood but I felt it deep down. Through out the day I started to feel happier. I'm glad to say that I still feel this way. Usually I would dread the feeling good because I know in a couple of hours I'm going to get depressed. The reason for getting depressed well..... I start to focus on limitations in life.Undecided So that's 2 1/2 days of feeling happy and content. A new record for me since......it's been some years. Still get depressed but it fades away so much quicker. Within an hour or a hour and a half to be exact. Much better than a few hours of happiness followed by a few months or a year of depression.
Now what thought process or fear has lifted away to cause all this you might ask. I have no ***** clue.Huh None what so ever but I guess it's better that I don't know.Angel

If I hadn't posted this and really thought about it what happened this incident would have went over my head. And I wasn't planning on it till Shannon posted.

Oh snap I just realized I'm not too focused on limitations. Yep good thing I posted that incident.
You are so entertaining to observe. Smile
@Shannon
I try.

Well came home with the wonderful idea to start looking into going back to college. Usually I start running around like a chicken with it head cut off in my mind. I decided that since I was feeling so calm about the idea to try again. I'm even looking forward to the challenge of working and going to school. I applied and everything went fine........Yeah right:/ starting flipping shit in my mind again trying to figure out what is going on. I need to do something different as far as making money. I started thinking about businesses that made it worse. Then came the thought do what your passionate about, but I don't know what I passionate about.
What seemed like a good idea doesn't seem so good anymore. I hope that I can fix this because it's annoying to say the least.
Why does this stress me out so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and you may wonder why not just put in the application. Well did this twice the first time I stayed for 2 years. The second time I only stayed the semester. As for businesses well they never got off the groundSad
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