09-20-2011, 10:00 AM
09-20-2011, 04:27 PM
Shannon how can you say that?
I'm not sure in what way you mean practice makes perfect because what my first thought of it was that you can't be practicing to make "perfect", which I assume you meant to let the girl think it's more her own idea to accept the invitation. Sure there might be subtleties that you can be more aware of but talking with a girl, who you find interesting (obviously to me, or else I wont be talking with her for long, unless my intent is something else with the interaction) and you are being honest and clear with your intentions, can't go much other ways. hmm.. she was a maybe girl, so I may have had a different response from her if I was different but I am who I am. Just playing around but I don't think I have a lot of tools to play around with. Mostly qualification and the energy. In the end I don't care about how she thinks about me but how I am expressing myself clearly. What matters to me is how I think about myself.
Sometimes I wonder if I am having a disillusioned view of the way to see women, which makes me blind and much harder to really understand it but my faith and belief has always triumphed over that, yet it's still something that bothers me sometimes because I want to learn as openminded and as much as I can.
I think it's just like in kungfu. When you are learning a technique, you don't limit your moves to how the technique is done, you gotta let creativity, openness and mindfulness guide you. As Bruce Lee says it; "Be like water my friend".
hmmmm... how am I gonna incorporate that in interactions with women I find interesting.....
now when I think about your post you probably mean
I'm not sure in what way you mean practice makes perfect because what my first thought of it was that you can't be practicing to make "perfect", which I assume you meant to let the girl think it's more her own idea to accept the invitation. Sure there might be subtleties that you can be more aware of but talking with a girl, who you find interesting (obviously to me, or else I wont be talking with her for long, unless my intent is something else with the interaction) and you are being honest and clear with your intentions, can't go much other ways. hmm.. she was a maybe girl, so I may have had a different response from her if I was different but I am who I am. Just playing around but I don't think I have a lot of tools to play around with. Mostly qualification and the energy. In the end I don't care about how she thinks about me but how I am expressing myself clearly. What matters to me is how I think about myself.
Sometimes I wonder if I am having a disillusioned view of the way to see women, which makes me blind and much harder to really understand it but my faith and belief has always triumphed over that, yet it's still something that bothers me sometimes because I want to learn as openminded and as much as I can.
I think it's just like in kungfu. When you are learning a technique, you don't limit your moves to how the technique is done, you gotta let creativity, openness and mindfulness guide you. As Bruce Lee says it; "Be like water my friend".
hmmmm... how am I gonna incorporate that in interactions with women I find interesting.....
now when I think about your post you probably mean
09-20-2011, 06:19 PM
LionMonkey i have had the same thing where women just thinks you were her "friend" no matter how many invites you send out. What i find is there is not enough connection or escalation involved.
I would like to point out more but it might be best not to. Like Shannon said practice makes perfect
I would like to point out more but it might be best not to. Like Shannon said practice makes perfect
09-20-2011, 06:27 PM
Lion... hey man,
Hang in there. Alpha is clearing out the garbage...but you're still conveying that you have too much care towards things happening with this girl. Next time, don't ask her a specific day. Give her two chooses. And make sure they are spread out. So... "I'll be free Tuesday and Thursday"... You're a busy Alpha
You also told her to contact you via phone. That's also pushing things to happen and you're basically saying "I'm going to give you my number, I want you to take it and pursue me". That's not how you convey such a thing. Instead it's more of a "I don't give a crap" mentality...if you want to be pursued. "Here's my number, give me a call if you want".
You shouldn't have stayed and conversed with her if you don't want friendship...you should have cut it off, walked away, and "NEXTED" her. But...you're just in the beginning of this transformation, in a few more months you'll understand all this crap like the back of your hand.
In all honesty, during Alpha I had a harder time getting women because I was coming across with hidden agendas of one night stands. I realized all of my faults when I get into Sex Magnet. Now I hardly give a crap about any of that and make the women wait. But I believe these 'hidden agendas' and neediness for sex also keep you from experiencing true connections.
Ryan
Hang in there. Alpha is clearing out the garbage...but you're still conveying that you have too much care towards things happening with this girl. Next time, don't ask her a specific day. Give her two chooses. And make sure they are spread out. So... "I'll be free Tuesday and Thursday"... You're a busy Alpha
You also told her to contact you via phone. That's also pushing things to happen and you're basically saying "I'm going to give you my number, I want you to take it and pursue me". That's not how you convey such a thing. Instead it's more of a "I don't give a crap" mentality...if you want to be pursued. "Here's my number, give me a call if you want".
You shouldn't have stayed and conversed with her if you don't want friendship...you should have cut it off, walked away, and "NEXTED" her. But...you're just in the beginning of this transformation, in a few more months you'll understand all this crap like the back of your hand.
In all honesty, during Alpha I had a harder time getting women because I was coming across with hidden agendas of one night stands. I realized all of my faults when I get into Sex Magnet. Now I hardly give a crap about any of that and make the women wait. But I believe these 'hidden agendas' and neediness for sex also keep you from experiencing true connections.
Ryan
09-20-2011, 09:29 PM
I said practice makes perfect because it is apparent that you are still gaining experience in how to execute some of these things in effective ways.
09-21-2011, 05:29 AM
What Ryan said. Hidden agendas are what keep you from experiencing true connections. You just gotta love everyone. It's hard and you deal with just alot of rejection in general but if you can grasp the concept.. (think like ghandi) you will feel much happier you are giving your true masculine gift to the world and things will start changing for you.
09-21-2011, 12:02 PM
Hmm.. I'm not sure if I had a hidden agenda?
I was interested because she was physically attractive to me and cute but I still wanted to know what kind of stuff she likes and that she isn't a total bore, so that's why I did what I did.
I did tell her my intentions when we were about to go apart but maybe I did talk with her for too long time before I made it clear that I didn't wanted to be just friends. I also think it's kinda subconsciously done by me because she is in the same class as me.
Yep, wrong way to do it. I'm new at this in daylight, to give my number out and how can you give her your number without having something to give her? "Here's my number, give me a call if you want". Do you got like visit cards on you with your number and name on it?
And yeah, you guys are right. The way I do things, isn't developed well enough, yet and I when it is developed to a certain level, I really think that I'll find my real style.
Actually I just kinda love how this Alpha subliminal makes it easy for me to do whatever I want and makes it "whatever..." to "rejections" ;-)
I was interested because she was physically attractive to me and cute but I still wanted to know what kind of stuff she likes and that she isn't a total bore, so that's why I did what I did.
I did tell her my intentions when we were about to go apart but maybe I did talk with her for too long time before I made it clear that I didn't wanted to be just friends. I also think it's kinda subconsciously done by me because she is in the same class as me.
Ryan Wrote:You also told her to contact you via phone. That's also pushing things to happen and you're basically saying "I'm going to give you my number, I want you to take it and pursue me". That's not how you convey such a thing. Instead it's more of a "I don't give a crap" mentality...if you want to be pursued. "Here's my number, give me a call if you want".
You shouldn't have stayed and conversed with her if you don't want friendship...you should have cut it off, walked away, and "NEXTED" her. But...you're just in the beginning of this transformation, in a few more months you'll understand all this crap like the back of your hand.
Yep, wrong way to do it. I'm new at this in daylight, to give my number out and how can you give her your number without having something to give her? "Here's my number, give me a call if you want". Do you got like visit cards on you with your number and name on it?
And yeah, you guys are right. The way I do things, isn't developed well enough, yet and I when it is developed to a certain level, I really think that I'll find my real style.
Quote:It's hard and you deal with just alot of rejection in general but if you can grasp the concept
Actually I just kinda love how this Alpha subliminal makes it easy for me to do whatever I want and makes it "whatever..." to "rejections" ;-)
09-21-2011, 12:53 PM
Lion, your hidden agenda is to get her to ask you out or spend time with you Think about it...
And no you simply just offer to give her your number if she wants to hang out sometime. It's kinda a "here's my number if you want but idc if you call". Simply, grab her phone and put it in for her, then leave.
Ryan
And no you simply just offer to give her your number if she wants to hang out sometime. It's kinda a "here's my number if you want but idc if you call". Simply, grab her phone and put it in for her, then leave.
Ryan
09-21-2011, 01:08 PM
She's not gonna call unless she's REALLY interested and REALLY bold for a woman. But you can text her. Or get her to text you. It's better to say that you'll call her, so you're taking the initiative like she expects a man to do, because your chances of having her call you are next to nothing in my experience.
Less threatening is telling her about something cool, that "I'll text you about the details when I get home." For which you need her number, of course, and if she's interested in you OR what you have to share with her, she'll give it to you.
Less threatening is telling her about something cool, that "I'll text you about the details when I get home." For which you need her number, of course, and if she's interested in you OR what you have to share with her, she'll give it to you.
09-21-2011, 04:51 PM
(09-21-2011, 12:53 PM)Ryan Wrote: [ -> ]Lion, your hidden agenda is to get her to ask you out or spend time with you Think about it...
And no you simply just offer to give her your number if she wants to hang out sometime. It's kinda a "here's my number if you want but idc if you call". Simply, grab her phone and put it in for her, then leave.
Ryan
Hah, you gave me the idea of asking, "do you have a mobile?" she takes it out. I take it and write my number and says, "here's my number, call me if you want" .
Okay.. I didn't wrote everything of our interaction, since I thought it would be too long and I may be not remembering it all at the time I wrote about it...
But anyways.. how can I have had a hidden agenda? I can't see it, really. I expressed that she should come hang out with me. At first she may not be sure of what I was about but as soon as I said that "I didn't want a friend", she knew what it was about, since she said she isn't really available or something along that because of her 2-3 years relationship, which still hasn't fully ended.
I'm getting sick of analyzing this but I'm pretty sure that because we were interacting in like 1 hours, without any touch because I was walking with my bike between us and later stood with my bike and she had her bag on my side. Actually it was pretty doomed to not touching each other when I think about it. Anyways, lesson learned.
"Try be more creative than follow the system." because we were literally just walking and walking and talking and laughing and there may be some connection in between but hard to say. In the end it was mostly platonic anyway.
Shannon Wrote:She's not gonna call unless she's REALLY interested and REALLY bold for a woman. But you can text her. Or get her to text you. It's better to say that you'll call her, so you're taking the initiative like she expects a man to do, because your chances of having her call you are next to nothing in my experience.
Less threatening is telling her about something cool, that "I'll text you about the details when I get home." For which you need her number, of course, and if she's interested in you OR what you have to share with her, she'll give it to you.
That's exactly how it has went with me too!! I've almost always said, "call me / call me if you wanna see me again / call me if you want to" and seriously, I've never got a call as far as I remember.
Yeah, the threatening thing. I'm not very good at holding back sometimes.
It's like not giving a damn but still mean it in a whateverish way that I have to internalize ;-p
09-21-2011, 05:27 PM
True...texting is what you want.
First off, you told her to join you for a drink Saturday night...which is putting a lot of pressure on her and most likely going to get shot down. Simply say something along the lines of "you can join me if you want" and go on your way.
Also...I should have made it clear...you giving her your number is only going to work if she has a genuine interest in you. If not, then you're going to have to work for it. However, I don't recommend going after women who are not interested in you. There's no point. So pay attention to signs that show she wants you.
When you got shot down the first time, you persisted for a second option (she wasn't sure about) and you continued to hope she would call you/get in touch with you to do something. When if you read the signs...you would have seen she wasn't interested and giving you excuses, you simply should have walked away. It's just natural as a man to in our society to act, don't get yourself down, you probably don't see it...but persisting in such a way is because you ultimately want something out of her, yes? Her pursuing you...a date...sex? whatever. I mean ask yourself...why is it that you really want this girl to join you for drinks? And why does it matter to you that she didn't take your number?
Ryan
Quote:So as we had stopped walking and stood there for a bit talking, I told her to join me for a drink Saturday night. She said she had brunch early next morning. So I gave her another option, which she wasn't sure about. She didn't knew what my intention was or she pretended to. Then I said, "You can get my number and call me sometimes this week". She hesitated and asked if I had facebook...
First off, you told her to join you for a drink Saturday night...which is putting a lot of pressure on her and most likely going to get shot down. Simply say something along the lines of "you can join me if you want" and go on your way.
Also...I should have made it clear...you giving her your number is only going to work if she has a genuine interest in you. If not, then you're going to have to work for it. However, I don't recommend going after women who are not interested in you. There's no point. So pay attention to signs that show she wants you.
When you got shot down the first time, you persisted for a second option (she wasn't sure about) and you continued to hope she would call you/get in touch with you to do something. When if you read the signs...you would have seen she wasn't interested and giving you excuses, you simply should have walked away. It's just natural as a man to in our society to act, don't get yourself down, you probably don't see it...but persisting in such a way is because you ultimately want something out of her, yes? Her pursuing you...a date...sex? whatever. I mean ask yourself...why is it that you really want this girl to join you for drinks? And why does it matter to you that she didn't take your number?
Ryan
09-22-2011, 11:58 AM
Quote:First off, you told her to join you for a drink Saturday night...which is putting a lot of pressure on her and most likely going to get shot down. Simply say something along the lines of "you can join me if you want" and go on your way.
My bad. I wrote something else than I said. I said, "I'm going to the town saturday night.. why don't you come with me for a drink?" Something along that. And by the way, it was her who really wanted to be friends with me.
Quote:When you got shot down the first time, you persisted for a second option (she wasn't sure about) and you continued to hope she would call you/get in touch with you to do something. When if you read the signs...you would have seen she wasn't interested and giving you excuses, you simply should have walked away. It's just natural as a man to in our society to act, don't get yourself down, you probably don't see it...but persisting in such a way is because you ultimately want something out of her, yes? Her pursuing you...a date...sex? whatever. I mean ask yourself...why is it that you really want this girl to join you for drinks? And why does it matter to you that she didn't take your number?
Yeah, I would like to share some quality time with her outside of school. Hmm.. I invited her to join me for drinks because I liked her and wanted to have a good time with her and then just let things happen.
I was curious of why it went that way because she seemed interested (she had to take a bus but instead walked the whole way with me) and I noticed her playing with her hair at a point along the walk.
It didn't matter if she took it or not. Just had a fading doubt about that crap.
I see where you are coming from Ryan. I like it that way but I have to experience and balance it with where I am right now.
09-22-2011, 01:01 PM
(09-22-2011, 11:58 AM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:First off, you told her to join you for a drink Saturday night...which is putting a lot of pressure on her and most likely going to get shot down. Simply say something along the lines of "you can join me if you want" and go on your way.
My bad. I wrote something else than I said. I said, "I'm going to the town saturday night.. why don't you come with me for a drink?" Something along that. And by the way, it was her who really wanted to be friends with me.
Quote:When you got shot down the first time, you persisted for a second option (she wasn't sure about) and you continued to hope she would call you/get in touch with you to do something. When if you read the signs...you would have seen she wasn't interested and giving you excuses, you simply should have walked away. It's just natural as a man to in our society to act, don't get yourself down, you probably don't see it...but persisting in such a way is because you ultimately want something out of her, yes? Her pursuing you...a date...sex? whatever. I mean ask yourself...why is it that you really want this girl to join you for drinks? And why does it matter to you that she didn't take your number?
Yeah, I would like to share some quality time with her outside of school. Hmm.. I invited her to join me for drinks because I liked her and wanted to have a good time with her and then just let things happen.
I was curious of why it went that way because she seemed interested (she had to take a bus but instead walked the whole way with me) and I noticed her playing with her hair at a point along the walk.
It didn't matter if she took it or not. Just had a fading doubt about that crap.
I see where you are coming from Ryan. I like it that way but I have to experience and balance it with where I am right now.
Women don't even know what's going in their heads usually. Ask any woman, lol. So we certainly can't know nor should we want to. It's way more fun if you don't analyze their behavior. Taking anything personally is never enjoyable. It doesn't sound like you are, though, so that's awesome. Just remember to only remember the successes and not the failures unless you are laughing at the failures and getting amusement out of them. Thinking on your failures in a negative way weighs strongly on the mind. No fun at all...
09-29-2011, 03:43 PM
Stage 3 - Day 13,
Not much going on lately. Have noticed that I've often come back to bad mediocre habits, which I know is not good for me. I try to not think negatively about it.
That's when I thought.. wow.. you do have a hard time to really change because the old habits is so easy to come back to.
So I've taken a decision when I realized it and lets see if I stick through with it...
Some changes;
Less needy. A lot less needy actually. Not really concerned with what others think about me but I haven't done anything really crazy either.. Associates have been more friendly to me in a way that shows they like me.
I'm more self-centered.
I have started doing affirmations again and I have actually become to like doing them. Sometimes I feel over the top after have done them with enthusiasm and my voice is also getting clearer and more deep
Also I've incorporated some affirmations about wealth and prosperity.
That's all for now.. I feel something amazing is gonna happen near future.......
- LM
Not much going on lately. Have noticed that I've often come back to bad mediocre habits, which I know is not good for me. I try to not think negatively about it.
That's when I thought.. wow.. you do have a hard time to really change because the old habits is so easy to come back to.
So I've taken a decision when I realized it and lets see if I stick through with it...
Some changes;
Less needy. A lot less needy actually. Not really concerned with what others think about me but I haven't done anything really crazy either.. Associates have been more friendly to me in a way that shows they like me.
I'm more self-centered.
I have started doing affirmations again and I have actually become to like doing them. Sometimes I feel over the top after have done them with enthusiasm and my voice is also getting clearer and more deep
Also I've incorporated some affirmations about wealth and prosperity.
That's all for now.. I feel something amazing is gonna happen near future.......
- LM