She is not a stray dog you pick on the street and nurse back to health.She doesn't need a BF to give her security.Her ex BF hit her in a relationship and she stayed with him.She has insecurities and low self esteem.What she does need is a professional help.
You initiating sex when with a beautiful woman on the bedroom is perfectly normal.You shouldn't make excuses for it.
You kissed and cuddled with her and forgot what you wanted in the first place:
Quote:Now I have become a little confused about this thing. I sense that I am not really honest with myself, that my compassion and sensitivity has come in my way for what I originally wanted - just a casual, intimate, fun girl, I would be seeing, without too much feelings in it.
You lost perspective on the entire thing.Please go and read Ryan's thread,he had something similar thing going and it ended badly.
Are there no other women that you can go to other venues with that don't have trust issues,low self esteem and insecurities?
Lion, one thing of advice...be careful. Read my thread. I just got dumped by a very insecure girl for many different reasons. I realized all women regardless of how insecure they are, are filled with the same bunch of BS. I know she lied to me that she felt she wanted/needed something else. If she is too insecure don't fall into the trap I did by treating her differently. And as Shannon and my therapist told me. If she is insecure with men, there is a reason for that, and that means she isn't comfortable being treated any other way. It's resistance. Just take it normally and I hope it works out. Good luck.
Ryan
Quote:Are there no other women that you can go to other venues with that don't have Trust Issues,low self esteem and insecurities?
Tons man. It's funny, I asked a random cute girl about something that happened between us and she said I should just find another girl, if she wasn't girl-friend material.
Roy, I'm gonna give it a shot because the first night I was with her, she was so honest and sincere, which I really like and appreciate in a woman. I may or may not speak what I truly want right now but there's only one way to find out.
At least, I will gain some personal experience and the last thing I hope, is to break the girls heart...
Ryan, she tried to stop smoke so much because I told her I didn't like the bad breath and smoking. Later she asked me if she could take a half smoke, which I thought was kinda weird but there was hope in it.
I'll read your thread about the BDD girl but I'll still give a shot with this girl one more time.. she's only 18 and has been with his last boyfriend in 4 years. 1 year, since they went apart.
I wanna see it with my own eyes and I wanna feel it, if that is true, that some girls just are f***ed up and manipulative as f***, so I can understand it and avoid those girls in future. Funny though, her iphone background says, "Rather be f***ed up than fake".
I'll keep you posted about this shot I'm taking...
- LM
(08-06-2011, 09:21 AM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:Are there no other women that you can go to other venues with that don't have Trust Issues,low self esteem and insecurities?
Tons man. It's funny, I asked a random cute girl about something that happened between us and she said I should just find another girl, if she wasn't girl-friend material.
Roy, I'm gonna give it a shot because the first night I was with her, she was so honest and sincere, which I really like and appreciate in a woman. I may or may not speak what I truly want right now but there's only one way to find out.
At least, I will gain some personal experience and the last thing I hope, is to break the girls heart...
Ryan, she tried to stop smoke so much because I told her I didn't like the bad breath and smoking. Later she asked me if she could take a half smoke, which I thought was kinda weird but there was hope in it.
I'll read your thread about the BDD girl but I'll still give a shot with this girl one more time.. she's only 18 and has been with his last boyfriend in 4 years. 1 year, since they went apart.
I wanna see it with my own eyes and I wanna feel it, if that is true, that some girls just are f***ed up and manipulative as f***, so I can understand it and avoid those girls in future. Funny though, her iphone background says, "Rather be f***ed up than fake".
I'll keep you posted about this shot I'm taking...
- LM
Either way it's a learning experience...and I think as long as you continue to be yourself you'll see what will happen. For me, I think part of it was a combination of wanting to help her and make her feel better and a combination of the indifference I was receiving from Sex Magnet. Because at the time she told me I didn't seem to care as much (frightened her), I also experience a slight "idgaf attitude" from SM.
Wow.. it's insane.
I felt blades going through my heart yesterday, when she didn't answer to my last message. She wanted to meet up, but wasn't enthusiastic about it at all.
After I went early to bed, I see much clearer today. You guys are SO right. I was blinded by the hope and the memories I had with her.
I'll leave the girl. Though if she contacts me, I'll give it a shot and my priority will be as it was originally - have it my way, the greatest way, if she doesn't want it that way or play f***ing games again, all I can say is
on to the next one...
And Ryan, my situation isn't exactly like yours with the BDD girl. I was too nice to this girl...
(08-06-2011, 09:27 PM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Wow.. it's insane.
I felt blades going through my heart yesterday, when she didn't answer to my last message. She wanted to meet up, but wasn't enthusiastic about it at all.
After I went early to bed, I see much clearer today. You guys are SO right. I was blinded by the hope and the memories I had with her.
I'll leave the girl. Though if she contacts me, I'll give it a shot and my priority will be as it was originally - have it my way, the greatest way, if she doesn't want it that way or play f***ing games again, all I can say is on to the next one...
And Ryan, my situation isn't exactly like yours with the BDD girl. I was too nice to this girl...
I was too nice too she even told me I was "too nice to her" in a way that was shocking to her because she expected to be shitted on. But I'm not going to be responsible playing games and ruining a girls mind any more than it already was, ya know? Besides when I'm in a relationship I really do tend to care. I just realized...it's not easy being with a girl like that and it taught you something, of course. But what happened with her? She just doesn't want to see you anymore?
Ryan
Quote:I was too nice too she even told me I was "too nice to her" in a way that was shocking to her because she expected to be shitted on. But I'm not going to be responsible playing games and ruining a girls mind any more than it already was, ya know? Besides when I'm in a relationship I really do tend to care. I just realized...it's not easy being with a girl like that and it taught you something, of course. But what happened with her? She just doesn't want to see you anymore?
Ryan
Yeah I see what you mean. I gotta mention that I like Cory Skyy's teaching and what I've got from listening to him is that one should always focus more on happiness than women. I think that the girl influenced me, so I focused more on her than real happiness, which is to be true and honest with yourself.
I don't know. She just didn't respond to my last text, which I also stupidly wrote, since I was too needy to see her again.
Part of it is my own fault, I'm sure.
But honestly.. I don't want to spend that much energy on her anymore and I feel she doesn't want it enough, so I'll let her contact me.
Also, originally I didn't want anything serious, so I feel pretty well with my decision.
- LM
Well good. It's only going to get better. And if you plan to do Sex Magnet, I suppose it's not a good idea to be in a relationship to begin with
Especially when you go out and crazy shit happens...
Ryan
Yeah.. that's the beauty about life. You can always improve your skills and it never ends!
I've been lucky with this girl too, in the way that she had some habits I wasn't really digging you know, so it is easier for me to let go. The thing that held me was really her honesty and her courage to open up to me so fast, which I haven't experienced before.
I'm only 5 days away to start Stage 2 of AM2011, so there's a lot of time to fill out before Sex Magnet ;-p Let me be honest.. this thing with this girl, if I really look at it now, it seemed unbelievable half year ago. It was just so natural and I said and did things I haven't done before but I had the strong belief in myself that I could do it. Sure it seemed new but I wasn't nervous and it was just natural.
I wonder how this can be and why I haven't had such a thing happen to me before.
- LM
(08-07-2011, 09:58 AM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah.. that's the beauty about life. You can always improve your skills and it never ends!
I've been lucky with this girl too, in the way that she had some habits I wasn't really digging you know, so it is easier for me to let go. The thing that held me was really her honesty and her courage to open up to me so fast, which I haven't experienced before.
I'm only 5 days away to start Stage 2 of AM2011, so there's a lot of time to fill out before Sex Magnet ;-p Let me be honest.. this thing with this girl, if I really look at it now, it seemed unbelievable half year ago. It was just so natural and I said and did things I haven't done before but I had the strong belief in myself that I could do it. Sure it seemed new but I wasn't nervous and it was just natural.
I wonder how this can be and why I haven't had such a thing happen to me before.
- LM
It seemed unnatural to me man. She was the most gorgeous girl I had the opportunity to be with. Her body was incredible. And when I first started talking to her, we flirted right off the bat and she said that it made her feel like I might be some sort of ladies man/player/party boy, which she got the vibe from me when we met in person. Later, on I became dominate with her and made all the calls and everything and she led by all of it. It was interesting to see how I evolved from it. And she felt i was too good and way too hot to be with her. It was different to me. I let her insecurities assure me that women are not perfect and should not be treated like they are to begin with. They all have issues which can mask the truth...but they all carry similar BS
Ryan
Quote:It seemed unnatural to me man. She was the most gorgeous girl I had the opportunity to be with. Her body was incredible. And when I first started talking to her, we flirted right off the bat and she said that it made her feel like I might be some sort of ladies man/player/party boy, which she got the vibe from me when we met in person. Later, on I became dominate with her and made all the calls and everything and she led by all of it. It was interesting to see how I evolved from it. And she felt i was too good and way too hot to be with her. It was different to me. I let her insecurities assure me that women are not perfect and should not be treated like they are to begin with. They all have issues which can mask the truth...but they all carry similar BS
Ryan
Ryan.. actually I think my situation is different. This girl isn't a very beautiful girl. To be realistic, she's a girl a bit over average and she doesn't have the most beautiful body, and she doesn't have a model like body, she's even a bit insecure about it and told me she didn't like her breasts. I praised them and I liked her for who she is.
Why would she be BS me? By taking me home after we kissed? By laying naked with me? By wanting to spend more time with me? By being honest and tell me things about herself that only few knows? BY NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME AFTER 2 NIGHTS?
Do you still think she is BS me Ryan?
Though I appreciate you guys feedback from your experiences, I really think this situation was different.
- LM
You've got to have sex with her soon man or you will fall into the dreaded Friend's zone. Be honest with her and tell her what you really want.
Ohh, she knows that I wanna f*** her. I've told and whispered to her several times when we were in bed and she also says, "I know".
She told me once that she wanted to but was afraid or something that she would be hurt also because of her recent relationships.
Anyway, I'll see how it works out. I'm definitely not the "nice-guy" ;-)
(08-08-2011, 02:13 PM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Ohh, she knows that I wanna f*** her. I've told and whispered to her several times when we were in bed and she also says, "I know".
She told me once that she wanted to but was afraid or something that she would be hurt also because of her recent relationships.
Anyway, I'll see how it works out. I'm definitely not the "nice-guy" ;-)
Lol I don't think she's bs'ing you, I just don't think she's comfortable doing it because she feels you'd run away or whatever afterwards. Stop asking her and just take control of the situation. Instead of asking her, work your way into it. Feel her body naked, touch her, lick her, whatever, until it's done. If she feels uncomfortable back off a little and then keep moving forward.
Ryan