Subliminal Talk

LionMonkey,you seem to be infatuated with this girl and to attached to the situation when you hardly know her,haven't had sex with her and now you are over analyzing the situation.

It doesn't matter.Let it go.

She BSed.So what?The situation is not special.Stop wasting your time and do better things like finding other girls instead of going and trying to save a losing situation.It's a lot less effort.

Learn what you can,stop thinking and fantasizing about her.What happened
when you cuddled with her is that you had lots of pair bonding chemicals released and than she acted cold towards you and now you are getting
the effects of a big push-pull.

Quote:Ohh, she knows that I wanna f*** her. I've told and whispered to her several times when we were in bed and she also says, "I know".

She told me once that she wanted to but was afraid or something that she would be hurt also because of her recent relationships.

Anyway, I'll see how it works out. I'm definitely not the "nice-guy" ;-)

Quote:Ryan.. actually I think my situation is different. This girl isn't a very beautiful girl. To be realistic, she's a girl a bit over average and she doesn't have the most beautiful body, and she doesn't have a model like body, she's even a bit insecure about it and told me she didn't like her breasts. I praised them and I liked her for who she is.

Why would she be BS me? By taking me home after we kissed? By laying naked with me? By wanting to spend more time with me? By being honest and tell me things about herself that only few knows? BY NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME AFTER 2 NIGHTS?

Do you still think she is BS me Ryan?

Though I appreciate you guys feedback from your experiences, I really think this situation was different.

In those two last posts you are thinking and obsessing about her,caring about her feelings and not hurting her.She doesn't act as if she cares about yours.She might actually doing this just for getting approval.You wrote she wasn't enthusiastic at all about it.You are not a challenge to her anymore.
She knows you will come trying to make her feel safe and compliment her.

You are acting like a nice guy.If she was interested she would have met you already.Stop trying to figure out what's going on inside her head
and stop wasting your time on her.

(08-09-2011, 07:43 AM)Roy Wrote: [ -> ]LionMonkey,you seem to be infatuated with this girl and to attached to the situation when you hardly know her,haven't had sex with her and now you are over analyzing the situation.

It doesn't matter.Let it go.

She BSed.So what?The situation is not special.Stop wasting your time and do better things like finding other girls instead of going and trying to save a losing situation.It's a lot less effort.

Learn what you can,stop thinking and fantasizing about her.What happened
when you cuddled with her is that you had lots of pair bonding chemicals released and than she acted cold towards you and now you are getting
the effects of a big push-pull.

Quote:Ohh, she knows that I wanna f*** her. I've told and whispered to her several times when we were in bed and she also says, "I know".

She told me once that she wanted to but was afraid or something that she would be hurt also because of her recent relationships.

Anyway, I'll see how it works out. I'm definitely not the "nice-guy" ;-)

Quote:Ryan.. actually I think my situation is different. This girl isn't a very beautiful girl. To be realistic, she's a girl a bit over average and she doesn't have the most beautiful body, and she doesn't have a model like body, she's even a bit insecure about it and told me she didn't like her breasts. I praised them and I liked her for who she is.

Why would she be BS me? By taking me home after we kissed? By laying naked with me? By wanting to spend more time with me? By being honest and tell me things about herself that only few knows? BY NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME AFTER 2 NIGHTS?

Do you still think she is BS me Ryan?

Though I appreciate you guys feedback from your experiences, I really think this situation was different.

In those two last posts you are thinking and obsessing about her,caring about her feelings and not hurting her.She doesn't act as if she cares about yours.She might actually doing this just for getting approval.You wrote she wasn't enthusiastic at all about it.You are not a challenge to her anymore.
She knows you will come trying to make her feel safe and compliment her.

You are acting like a nice guy.If she was interested she would have met you already.Stop trying to figure out what's going on inside her head
and stop wasting your time on her.

Roy is right to a point...but don't put too much on yourself Lion, you are getting there. There are ways to salvage this situation and the best is yes...stop caring. "The person who cares less holds more power" that will come to you in time especially in Sex Magnet as I'm actually beginning to experience that now, but it does. We shouldn't give a crap what anyone thinks of us as long as we are happy. So try to stop caring so much, do what you want to do and you'll notice a change.

The best way to think of it...she's there for YOU, not the other way around. Once you internalize that, you'll see...you live for yourself, she lives for YOU ;P

But I know how hard something like this may be to comprehend during the changes occurring through Alpha Male, I know for a fact, I was not able to do so. But...in the end, I think that much care is going to hurt you, like it did me. So I'm sharing with you so you don't make the same mistake I did. Careless in the beginning so you don't have to try to save it in the future. Be less available and live your life for yourself. Have lots of friends, go out, enjoy yourself and let her work her way into your pants. It'll come regardless so don't put too much pressure on yourself!

One thing I'm realizing...if she is continuing to bug you about her insecurities. Simply let her know that, tell her to stop...you're done trying to convince her and it's only bugging you. She's not going to like the fact that you are not there to reinforce her like every other guy but internally she's going to want your validation even more.

Stage 1 - Day 30,


Caught up with some great buddy's last night. Went to a bar. Noticed that I cared less.

Had some extremely vivid dreams last night, which I remember well. It's actually fascinating how real it felt this time. Maybe it was the drinks?

Roy Wrote:LionMonkey,you seem to be infatuated with this girl and to attached to the situation when you hardly know her,haven't had sex with her and now you are over analyzing the situation.

Yeah, I was infatuated with her for a day or so after the night where we held each other.
That wasn't my intention to be that but as I wrote earlier.. she just influenced me and changed my frame. I gotta be stronger I guess = more careless..
Must have been:

Quote:What happened
when you cuddled with her is that you had lots of pair bonding chemicals released and than she acted cold towards you and now you are getting
the effects of a big push-pull.

Honestly, I'm lucky to have trained martial arts in a long time and am still training + I'm healthy, which made the situation much more easy to comprehend.

You guys are right. I thought she cared more about me

Quote:In those two last posts you are thinking and obsessing about her,caring about her feelings and not hurting her.She doesn't act as if she cares about yours.She might actually doing this just for getting approval.You wrote she wasn't enthusiastic at all about it.You are not a challenge to her anymore.
She knows you will come trying to make her feel safe and compliment her.

You are acting like a nice guy.If she was interested she would have met you already.Stop trying to figure out what's going on inside her head
and stop wasting your time on her.

I wasn't thinking about what she thought. The thing is, I was thinking about that I thought she was courageous and if she did those things with me and told those things about herself, why wouldn't she care for me? I thought that was evidence enough but I guess I was blinded by it.

Ryan Wrote:One thing I'm realizing...if she is continuing to bug you about her insecurities. Simply let her know that, tell her to stop...you're done trying to convince her and it's only bugging you. She's not going to like the fact that you are not there to reinforce her like every other guy but internally she's going to want your validation even more.

Alright, that seems fair. Just couldn't do it from the start at this point in my life.

Mainly I think that she is a person, who is very fragile, needs a lot of security and tries to get validation all the time.


- LM

Recap of AM2011 Stage 1

Pros (some subtle ones);

- better at holding eye-contact when initiating a conversation and having one.

- self assurance and self confidence has increased.

- voice tonality more solid (doesn't crack much anymore).

- caring much less about peoples thoughts about me and outer distractions has decreased a lot.

- more social, more real and sincerely interested when talking to people when I want to.

- more awareness of how people treat me vs how I treat them.

- people seems to be more open and talkative to me.

- just having more of those moments of, "yeah..." and which makes me get my smirk on.

- more open talking about sex and sexuality



Cons;

All I can think of right now is,

- self-conscious at times and little dizziness some times.



Can't wait to start Stage 2 tonight! Gonna head out saying goodbye to a good friend of mine and we'll do it with beers and shots! :-)


- LM

Stage 2 - Day 2,


Something fascinating happened at the last day of Stage 1.

I had dinner with my friend, who's going away for a while and with another friend.

Awareness of; I wasn't so talkative but when I did talk at times my friend seemed to try to come through with his voice most of the times.
It's like he wants to entertain or want to feel more alpha but I think he's doing it subconsciously because he is a kind person and a good friend.

I talked a bit with the waitress and asked some questions, very naturally. She also seemed to want me.

We ate, head over to a bar. Not a lot of people. Chilling vibe. Got some drinks at the bar, a very hot tall brunette bumped into me. I turned my head and looked her in the eyes, she said sorry very cutely.
More people we knew came. The vibe changed to party. My friends around the table was enjoying each others company. I had to get some fresh air, so I did.

When I came back and took my seat it seemed that the interactions around the table was dying out a little. The recent hot tall brunette with a cute other brunette began to dance on the floor in a very sexy manner. Only them dancing, making their presence, telling people that they are hot. I was sitting in a place so could see the most of the room.

They both looks over at me from time to time.

So they start to dance closer to our table and in the end they were beside me instead of in front of me and they were still looking over to me
I thought cool, while feeling a bit turned on, on how sexy they danced.

Anyways, it ends up with me not making a move, so they dance back to their original area and eventually stops.

We decide to go to another place and we head out. So standing outside the bar because we haven't decided where to go.
I turn my head to see the crowd in front of the bar.. I notice a girl I've been making out with and hanging out with but haven't talked with her in 3 months, and she looked at me, smiled and came over.

She talked about she's just got out of the relationship.. then she called some guys over and talks to them and I immediately turns back to my friends. She was going to the bar with them and told them to hold on so she could finish with me and then she asked if I still got her number (I didn't) and if I wanted it.

So I gave her my phone, she entered the digits and says, "so.. that was it?", I looked her directly in the eyes while calling her, her phone is behind her top and it rings, vibrates and I nodded. "okay" and she went over to the bar with her friends.

Had some extremely vivid dreams that night when I went to bed. Penelope Cruz was one of the main characters haha..

Overall my sense of self assurance and self confidence was high that night and I didn't let anybody get me off balance, nor did I let myself doubt myself.


- LM

Lol I find Sex Magnet funny right now, because I've been much quieter and haven't really known what to say in certain situations but at the same time I give off this cool, laid-back confidence and extremely comfortable mixed with sexual openness that people just come up to me and talk my head off. It's like word rape, literally, I haven't really been forced to say much but when I do I can easily bud in and everyone stops and listens.

Hmm interesting, Ryan. I still get that people don't listen to me at work as much as I know they should. And I'm interrupted quite often. When that happens I more than likely cut off from the group completely for that moment in time. It's happened in the past.. sometimes it doesn't happen but I've noticed more recently it happens quite often. But then again it doesn't if I'm speaking with absolute confidence in what I'm saying.

Ryan it sounds like you got "it".

I have very subtle thoughts about interrupting a conversation sometimes, just to show that I can but that's just doubting myself really.

It's strange though because sometimes I think I need to do something just to get myself out of my comfort zone or do something different than what I was doing but on this progress with AM2011, it really just seem like everything becomes natural and I don't need to think about doing things. It's much more relaxed and intuitive.

Spiral, ever heard of the words, "Never give your light where it is not invited"? It's a term mostly referring to women though but I think it's applicable with everyone you meet.


Stage 2 - Day 2,


Had one of those days where I got a lot of looks but I had also a internal fight inside me. I could feel it. So I did my best to mind my own business and let things come to me.

Besides that the summer season for my martial arts school is over and it's going to get more hardcore every time now Looking forward to it!


- LM

Lion, I know what that means. I used to do it every so often but I "never give" my "light where it's is not invited" anymore. I only speak when I know I can benefit the situation but when people interrupt me or are not listening then that pisses me off and I just shut them off. They always come back later asking what I was saying because they feel bad for doing what they did.

Stage 2 - Day 12


I'll tell a story this time and then you can get a feel of how things are going around with me...


Earlier today I went to a Salsa Class I've signed up to. Never taken classes in any forms of dancing. Just wanted to try something new out and how fun it was! (Strangely though, when I was about to leave the house, I said "I don't even understand why I've taken this class.. I don't feel like doing it..).

Got there, met up, 2 older couples 30-50 years and... me. Time passes, 15 people had not showed up.

A thought of, wtf?! popped up in my mind but before it could have an emotional effect on me I let it pass and just steer my direction positively that I was there to learn some Salsa.

So we begin to learn the basics. 10 minutes later the 15 people shows up. Misdirection they had got.
We were about 10 who came without a partner, and 5 couples. One of the couples were around my age and I noticed the girl quickly.. "she could be fun".

Social it got, changing partners, fun basic moves. Some clumsiness and laughs. Getting closer to each other. Arm around the partner, hands on her back. Never got to dance with the girl though.

Had a fine flow in my moves, (6 years of martial arts has definitely also helped me with the movements and the hips! 8-))
I did my thing.. focusing, smiling, laughing (sometimes for no reason) and very little talking. Just had a positive, light but a bit intense, subtle vibe. Looking at my partner, in the eyes. Many partners wasn't comfortable looking back, yet I keep catching the other women looking.. like starring sometimes. I've always been the more non-verbally explicit guy. I usually don't talk to just to talk, yet I do try to be polite and not rude when I meet new people.

Me and the petite, curvy blond girl around my age caught each others eyes in a moment and she looked away after 2 seconds or so. She was standing in front of the guy she came with. After that I just knew. We made eyecontact again a few times, when I looked at her, how sexy she moved her hips.

Had a ton of fun. Time passed. Class was over. Sweaty sexy people

I find my seat to change shoes. The blond girl takes a chair and change hers so I had to get pass her in order to get out. She sent the guy away for a moment. I just knew she did it on purpose

She noticed that I was about to get out and said something "polite" and moved to the side. I just looked at her for a brief moment when I walked past.

On the way out I hear the couple behind me. I go over to get my bike and when I looked up, I see the guy looking at me and smiling at his bike. I gave a sly smile back and thought lol. The girl was standing in the open with her bike and he went over to her. She sent him inside. I thought, on purpose again!!!

Anyways.. I get on my bike and as I got close to her, she expected I would come, she looks up and we said bye as I cycled past her.

I have no idea why I didn't do anything about it though. So many opportunities! So many signs! Yet I didn't do anything.
Actually lately I've just been doing very brief interactions with girls I find interesting and I know that I'm gonna see them again.


Besides that, I've had some sexual dreams. I had one where there was this girl that was deformed. Very odd.

Self-assurance has increased a lot and I'm much better at making my own fun in moments, where I just feel bored.


- LM

That is awesome that you pushed yourself to go to a salsa class. I've been afraid of learning to dance actually lol but I think it's necessary after watching Footloose last night ;P

Ryan

Just watched the trailer.. looks like a badass movie. Love the way the girl looks at the main character!


Stage 2 - Day 13


I've noticed that I am more comfortable in uncomfortable situations than before.
When I was giving a resumé of a short-story in the class today, I started by looking around the room, while talking and everyone was paying attention, yet I talked slowly and was SO bad at it.
I began to have some doubts at a point and then when I looked around the room again to look people in the eyes while I talked, I saw them not paying attention anymore. My public speaking skills aren't that well yet. I was nervous but it's like I could control it or just hold it down. After the speech, I didn't give a f***!! Usually I would doubt myself more and tell myself, that damn it went bad and all sort of negative stuff, which before influenced me emotionally too.

This time, it didn't, at all! Very cool.

Girls in my class seems to feel my presence wherever I go and it's strange.. 2 girls today made a gesture with their head, like "whats up?" when they looked up and held eyecontact with me.

One of them I had talked to once, which is also the gorgeous one, I gave her a sly smile / smirk, the other I haven't talked to before, yet I catch her starring at me from time to time. To her I said, "hi" but there was no reaction from her.

That's actually also one thing. I care less, almost to a point of careless, when I just say hi to people, if they don't say anything back.


Soo more changes;

* Better at holding eye-contact - overall

* More awareness in the way I look at the person when I speak

* Less affected my outer stuff.

* More self-reliant, better at controlling and handling my emotions in situations that normally would make me very annoyed, angry or frustrated - which is one of the greatest things that this program has done.


- LM

Quickly side-note..

In the past 1-2 months, I've had few dreams where I DIED. Moments where I knew I was going to die just in few seconds. It felt SO real that it was SO strange, mysterious and scary!! Never had a dream like those before..

I did sometimes imagine overcoming the enormous fear of dying when I went to bed some nights though. Actually I think the subs makes ones dreams more real!

They do. And those dreams mean a part of you died inside. It's usually your old self being replaced by your new self.