Stage 2 - Day 27
The subliminal is really making me more self-assured, so I am more comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Also, self-doubt is quickly noticed and I just tell myself that I don't give a f*** what others think about me.
It's been a long time since I've been out by myself.
Started out in a bar1, got 2 drinks. One I drank sitting by the bar and the other I drank by walking around and standing in an area where people could see me. There was an underlaying uncomfortable feeling standing those places by myself but I just moved flowingly to the music, which helped.
Nothing fancy going on. Most people were together in that bar so after my 2. drink I left. I went over to bar2. There were a lot of people and I got my beer. There was this pretty blond girl sitting at the bar with a guy, who seemed to be a tool for her. She looks around and looks at me I could tell. So I caught her at a point and we looked each other in the eyes for like 4 seconds. I thought, yeah she likes me whatever but I wouldn't want to go and talk to both of them, so I'll let her make a move if she wants.
Eventually she went outside to get a smoke by herself. I've stopped party-smoking for a while and I was really not intending to do it again so I thought what the f***. Went downstairs, said hi to people and asked how their night was and how they were doing and they were like, "who is this guy?" and I could feel this subtle awkward atmosphere haha. Did that with 2 groups of girls and 1 group of guys.
Anyways, there was this seat free in front of two girls (whom was with a big group, norwegian people), who seemed to have a boring moment. I take the seat and I talk with them. Made their night and made them laugh by telling a fake story of where I am from and afterwards telling them I was just kidding. One of them liked it very much and asked for my number to be her Chinese mentor (she studies Chinese). Told her "girl.. don't you think it's going too fast?" haha.. we talk some more and I don't know why but after I told them about LOA and they were talking about it, I left and got another beer.
When I got my beer the guys in the group took my seat and surrounded the girls a little so I just stayed in the bar and drank a little. So eventually they went outside to smoke. I see that the girl and the guy was still sitting at the bar and the girl was still looking around. The guy went to the toilet and I went over to talk with the girl, I said "why do you look at me all the time?" and she was like "no I didn't look at you", and I said, "sure you did, nothing can deny that." Got to know her a bit better and she told me she was working in the airport and the guy was her associate from work. I told her clearly "I don't wanna be your friend", which she faked to be a little offended by.
The guy came back and was a pretty cool guy actually, so we talked a little, while the girl payed very little attention and I thought a bit, what?? does she not like me as I thought?
So I leave them and went downstairs to dance to a great song. The Norwegian girl who was learning Chinese came down and I took her hand and we dance a little. Asked her if she wanted my number and she got it and said she would text me and she was leaving with the other norwegian girl, which I actually found more attractive. I hugged both of them and the one I found attractive seemed like she wanted me but wasn't sure if I wanted her enough or more than her friend.. I find it strange.. hmmmmmm...
(after that it was like everyone could feel my presence when I went back upstairs. lots of looks from women)
I went back upstairs, to the toilet and went up to the bar for the last beer. Went over to a group of girls and said hi and asked how they were doing. They were like what?! and looked strangely at me. I think I interrupted something.. anyways I see that the girl wasn't on her seat with the guy at the bar, so I joined him for a while and we small-talk for a bit. The girl eventually comes back and I keep talking with the guy and then offered my seat back to her, which she said it's okay. Then the guy went downstairs and the girl took the seat and we talked a bit and I was going to leave so I took my hand to shake hers and said, "Well.. I guess.. I'll see you around." Looking directly in her eyes. Our hands were in each others the whole time, which lasted around 15 seconds.
Her, "Are you leaving?",
Me, "Yeah... I can give you my number"
Her, "I can give me mine.. it's easier for me that way"
Me, "I like it easy too
"
Can't remember what happened.
I gave her my phone and she entered the digits and I called it and her phone rang.
I gave her a slow sexy hug and left.
What a flowing but strange night. Flowing because usually when I'm out with people I know, I tend to be more comfortable in my skin and just not talking with much other people than the ones I know...
- LM