Oh, I didn't catch it I guess.
Stage 4, Day 24
I'm able to find positive and funny things about most things at the moment; the day still drudged on, but I'm enjoying it, as I'll have to get back into the swing of things. My motivation has increased. I still want to work on creating more desire towards my major life goals.
I was also able to call upon more masculine presence by doing the exercise, even doing so in the presence of other men, which would often stifle me. My inventive ways of visualizing to generate this presence has become more inventive, thereby yielding better results.
I watched 'Girl Gone', and that was some movie. The moral? Sometimes, bitches be crazy.
(10-15-2014, 09:48 PM)DanAmerson Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day 24
I was also able to call upon more masculine presence by doing the exercise, even doing so in the presence of other men, which would often stifle me. My inventive ways of visualizing to generate this presence has become more inventive, thereby yielding better results.
What exercise?
(10-16-2014, 11:57 AM)SurferJoy Wrote: [ -> ] (10-15-2014, 09:48 PM)DanAmerson Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day 24
I was also able to call upon more masculine presence by doing the exercise, even doing so in the presence of other men, which would often stifle me. My inventive ways of visualizing to generate this presence has become more inventive, thereby yielding better results.
What exercise?
It must have been taken off of Masculine Intent, but it goes something like this:
"Without thinking of a porn scene, visualize a beautiful woman gorging the tip of your penis with her lips. Think of the warmth, the wetness, the pleasure. If you can get a tingle, arousal, or better yet, a full blown erection.. congrats, you've managed to feel sexy!
Keep breathing that feeling from deep in your body, and circulate it throughout your body. Now, talk. Walk, or do anything. You will talk differently, heck, you will look different."
Stage 4, Day 25,
Feeling better, more motivated, been playing more guitar. I'm back on track from whatever side-tracked-ness I was going through. I'm going back home tomorrow.
More breakthroughs in creating polarity in my body, and in regards to women, and in fact, in regards to other areas of life, especially the opinion of others. Still don't really want to "go out" to clubs; I'd rather have 10 conversations with 10 women during the same day.
I've got a few new pairs of jeans that really show off my figure (some that I wear don't).
I'm with you on going out to clubs or whatever.. my desire for that keeps getting less. I enjoy it much more chatting to girls when I shop, or at the gym.. or going somewhere with friends and maybe seeing girls there.. mainly stuff through the day.
Occasionally I will goto clubs if friends are, but i'm pretty much over them.
-Ben
Stage 4, Day 26
Well, my day went rather well until... well, let's recap.
Got driven back by my parents and that was all laughs and tralalas.
I had a meet planned with the girl from the train; she introduced herself, she asked for my number, she planned a meet. I assumed she was dtf; apparently not. This encounter has shown my that I'm still needy for sex, and it unearthed a heap of bitterness towards the manipulation in man-woman relationships.
It had me wanting to "play the game", and inflict whatever anger I was feeling from this woman towards other girls; basically fuck em and dump em, and fuck their feelings. Thankfully, I know better, and took care of most of those feelings with PSTEC. Plus, I really don't want to do that.
She comes to my place and turns down my advances. It's not the rejection, it's more that she kept hanging around after rejecting me a few times in a row; it gave the wrong impression. if she just said; "If we're not right for each other, maybe I should go", I would totally respect that. Then, she goes on about how "If I wanted a hookup, I could use Tinder and just say yes to one of the 20 guys who asked me this week".
Kept telling me how smart and mature she was for not wanting a hookup, and that she's "not like that".
Then, I chose to walk her to the bus station (because, believe it or not, I still don't want her to be eaten alive by wild dingos), and everything she said really annoyed me.
Anyways, I told her straight up while walking back that I was feeling anger towards her, and that most of it probably isn't even justified. Boy, was I pissed. I mentally encouraged her to sit on a fire hydrant.
It took 2 Accelerators and 2 Level 1 tracks to get me much more calm, and there's still a bit left. Will fEFT the rest. So she doesn't have to sit on that fire hydrant anymore. But fuck you (you know who you are).
(10-17-2014, 10:59 PM)DanAmerson Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 4, Day 26
Well, my day went rather well until... well, let's recap.
Got driven back by my parents and that was all laughs and tralalas.
I had a meet planned with the girl from the train; she introduced herself, she asked for my number, she planned a meet. I assumed she was dtf; apparently not. This encounter has shown my that I'm still needy for sex, and it unearthed a heap of bitterness towards the manipulation in man-woman relationships.
It had me wanting to "play the game", and inflict whatever anger I was feeling from this woman towards other girls; basically **** em and dump em, and **** their feelings. Thankfully, I know better, and took care of most of those feelings with PSTEC. Plus, I really don't want to do that.
She comes to my place and turns down my advances. It's not the rejection, it's more that she kept hanging around after rejecting me a few times in a row; it gave the wrong impression. if she just said; "If we're not right for each other, maybe I should go", I would totally respect that. Then, she goes on about how "If I wanted a hookup, I could use Tinder and just say yes to one of the 20 guys who asked me this week".
Kept telling me how smart and mature she was for not wanting a hookup, and that she's "not like that".
Then, I chose to walk her to the bus station (because, believe it or not, I still don't want her to be eaten alive by wild dingos), and everything she said really annoyed me.
Anyways, I told her straight up while walking back that I was feeling anger towards her, and that most of it probably isn't even justified. Boy, was I pissed. I mentally encouraged her to sit on a fire hydrant.
It took 2 Accelerators and 2 Level 1 tracks to get me much more calm, and there's still a bit left. Will fEFT the rest. So she doesn't have to sit on that fire hydrant anymore. But **** you (you know who you are).
What's up their Dan? You basically just ran into a timewaster/cock tease. They are probably the NUMBER 1 reason I became more direct with women. Women like that get off on wasting time.
Had it been me, I would simply have asked: "are you interested in having sex with me?" Any answer other than yes and I would say "I understand, in that case it's best that you leave". Whenever you deal with a woman who loves to waste time you have to put them in a position to DIRECTLY reject you or reciprocate your interests other wise they'll play that game all fricking day and leave you pissed off. Obviously, when I say put them in a position to reject you I mean verbalizing your sexual and/or romantic intentions to them and getting either a definitive "yes DanAmerson I am DEFINITELY interested in having sex with you" or a "no DanAmerson I am NOT interested in having sex with you".
Shake it off my brother and keep moving forward. You're doing great.
(10-17-2014, 10:59 PM)DanAmerson Wrote: [ -> ]Kept telling me how smart and mature she was for not wanting a hookup, and that she's "not like that".
You can take it as a good thing: she was testing your belief system with all that moral high-ground stuff. Obviously she's mentally insecure about the idea of hooking up - specifically that it'd make her look less smart and less mature. IMO the opposite holds true, but I digress. Now that she pointed your vulnerable points out to you, you can make yourself even more strong & congruent (as you're already doing) and you'll have a very different reaction to the next girl who does this. Sounds like you handled it great, she just happened to hit a nerve.
I think I'll use that story to do some click tracks myself, thx ;)
I disagree with the timewaster thing.
She come to your place and she was open to it and just seeing how you would react.. the bullshit she was throwing up "i'm not like that" means exactly that she IS like that.. but she doesn't want you to think so. Just be like "ok that's cool.. I only want you to do what you're comfortable with".. sit back.. relax.. and try again.
What exactly are you seeing as the 'rejection'? What did she do? The fact she was still there after you made a move and it triggered all her bs excuses is another sign she wanted to hookup.
I have kicked girls out of my place before, but that was after trying alot. In this case it sounds like you could have done it.
It's just like girls that before you have sex with them that say "I don't usually do this". Yes they do, they just don't want you to think that they do. You don't want to challenge them on it, instead just be like "okay.. I know.. but i'm enjoying kissing you right now" and keep doing it.
I also don't agree with the getting an upfront commitment that she wants sex, if it's brought up too obviously even if she wants it she will get uncomfortable.. instead it's more the vibe and the subtle interaction. Going to a girls house yesterday I realized I was uncomfortable with uncertainty so I decided to tap a little on it and then just allow that feeling to be there and accept it.
As i'm getting the right belief system again, what i'm saying here is also from alot of experience in my past with girls coming back to the forefront of my mind.
-Ben
(10-18-2014, 09:02 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]I disagree with the timewaster thing.
She come to your place and she was open to it and just seeing how you would react.. the ***** she was throwing up "i'm not like that" means exactly that she IS like that.. but she doesn't want you to think so. Just be like "ok that's cool.. I only want you to do what you're comfortable with".. sit back.. relax.. and try again.
What exactly are you seeing as the 'rejection'? What did she do? The fact she was still there after you made a move and it triggered all her bs excuses is another sign she wanted to hookup.
I have kicked girls out of my place before, but that was after trying alot. In this case it sounds like you could have done it.
It's just like girls that before you have sex with them that say "I don't usually do this". Yes they do, they just don't want you to think that they do. You don't want to challenge them on it, instead just be like "okay.. I know.. but i'm enjoying kissing you right now" and keep doing it.
I also don't agree with the getting an upfront commitment that she wants sex, if it's brought up too obviously even if she wants it she will get uncomfortable.. instead it's more the vibe and the subtle interaction. Going to a girls house yesterday I realized I was uncomfortable with uncertainty so I decided to tap a little on it and then just allow that feeling to be there and accept it.
As i'm getting the right belief system again, what i'm saying here is also from alot of experience in my past with girls coming back to the forefront of my mind.
-Ben
I was preparing for a rebuttal Ben but when I looked back at you statement it appears that you may be on to something. I'd say Dan was either dealing with a timewaster or a pretender. The fact that she kept hanging around was something I didn't really consider however it should be pointed out that just because a chick comes to your crib doesn't always mean she's down f*ck.
Now if she's saying "oh I don't do this" or "I'm not that type of girl" then yeah most likely she's a pretender and is just trying to make herself seem like a good girl as Ben suggests. But at the end of the day you don't want to continually waste your time on her because if she IS a timewaster that could present huge problem because...well nobody likes having their time wasted.
But I'd still advocate being clear with your intentions to her. It doesn't have to be in a harsh way either. Simply saying "Look, you're an attractive woman and I definitely wouldn't mind spending time with you, but I gotta be honest, I'm not trying to be your 'friend' here. I'm trying to date you and/or f$ck you." Obviously you can switch the words around for your particular situation but those are some of the things I've said.
This will be my final comment about the girl (which I will call 'Cognitive Dissonance' girl (or CD Girl for short)).
After this, let's drop it so I can focus on the girls I want to sleep with.
A brief layout:
- We meet at the bar and have our drink;
- Leaving the bar, I suggested we jam (at my place);
- I tried to kiss her 2-3 times outside the bar once we were seated somewhere outdoors;
- After a bit of walking, she suggests we jam at my place;
- At my place, she suggests watching a movie, after the movie wouldn't work, we settle on a TV episode;
- Over the course of an hour, I'm doing a lot of touching and tried to kiss between 5-7 times. She wasn't having any of it;
- I even cut to the chase and directly brought it up. Ex: "Look, it's 1am on a Friday night, we're in my room on my bed (she was in a chair, but whatever), we could totally have our clothes off and going nuts on each other." She's like "Nah"
There's not very much to it; NEXT! Maybe she wanted something, but in the words of Louis C.K: "I'm not gonna rape ya, just in case you'd have liked it!"
The reason she is hereby called CD Girl is because of the enormous inconsistencies in the things she was telling me. My bad for taking a woman's words seriously
Anyways, I'll stop moping about it, as I'm writing a list of things I want in several areas of life. Plenty of material in which I can use to visualize.
Stage 4, Day 27,
I spent a sizable portion of the day figuring out what it was about the previous evening that had me so out of whack; it clearly wasn't being turned down for a game of "bury the hobbit"; I've had that happen before, and I was actually elated in those events.
There's a pretty long list of reasons that I came up with, which I won't elaborate as they're personal (and more related to her) and would take up a few pages worth of text. Once I had a satisfying answer, I made up my mind to get off the topic indefinitely; any extra thinking on that topic had become mentally masturbatory and more-or-less an "I'm right" ceremony. What can I say? I'm big on Law of Attraction, so getting mad over the past is considered unproductive.
I busked for the first time in several weeks; I lost some of my skill by not having sung in nearly 2 weeks, but I'm certainly on my way back. In two hours, I made 55$; very good for the Fall. Gonna focus on getting my voice in tip-top shape for, well, the "The Voice" callbacks. And, I'm the only one there this time of year, so I get all the prime spots.
I took advantage of the opportunity, late this evening, to come up with a 2 page short form list of things I want, to turn my attention from all these unpleasing things I had experienced yesterday. Now, I'm just focus on them and feel good; there's nothing to lose by that measure; I feel good, and I'm more likely to get what I want anyways.
Too much verbalizing. Women have to feel like it's "just happening" if you take time to make sure "everyone's on the same page" and "we know that we're having sex now", it saps the fun out of it. Women want spontaneity not a scheduled f*ck.
To be honest, it sounds like you wanted to control her and the situation, probably fear I'm guessing. You just gotta go with it dude, own your sexuality but let her do her thing. If she's talking about some lame subject, find the sex in it, and you'll get the idea.