whome: OF3

[CatMan]

Have you ever tested your speaker with the speaker test file? To verify it indeed can play the ultrasonic correctly?

I use the FrequenSee app on an old Nexus 7 tablet as well as the Spectrum app on my iPad to verify that there’s indeed ultrasonic sound.

What kind of volume do you listen at?

I play it at a 12/16 volume on my iPhone. While listening I keep my iPhone always within arm’s length, and usually on the ergonomic stand of my computer, which is about a foot away from my face. 

Both audio apps show an ultrasonic spike rise of about 30 dB above the noise floor.

Okay, cool. Is there any crackling in the audio, any sounds at all? It's worth downloading the speaker test file from the store that is free and easy to download because it will quickly indicate if ultrasonic can be reproduced by the speaker once and for all. It's a concern, especially if a person is struggling to see results possibly. Ruling out volume being too low, or that there's an issue with ultrasonic reproduction, is important to do.

OF V3 is awesome. I'm sure we can get you going well on it!

[whome]

Okay, cool. Is there any crackling in the audio, any sounds at all?

No crackling. It’s absolutely silent, which is why I run a frequency analyzer constantly while I run the loops and I check in with it to make sure that it’s still showing stuff in the 17kHz range.

It's worth downloading the speaker test file from the store that is free and easy to download because it will quickly indicate if ultrasonic can be reproduced by the speaker once and for all. It's a concern, especially if a person is struggling to see results possibly. Ruling out volume being too low, or that there's an issue with ultrasonic reproduction, is important to do.

Yes, I’ve taken the phone that I use for subs and done frequency sweeps with it, both with the test file from the store and my own apps and my own files. I’ve verified the reproduction with two different frequency analyzer apps on two different tablets running two different OSes.

I’m 100% confident that I’m reproducing the ultrasonic as well as it can be reproduced on a cellphone speaker, and all over the board cellphone speakers are noted as being fine for ultrasonic.

[CatMan]

Okay, cool. Is there any crackling in the audio, any sounds at all?

No crackling. It’s absolutely silent, which is why I run a frequency analyzer constantly while I run the loops and I check in with it to make sure that it’s still showing stuff in the 17kHz range.

It's worth downloading the speaker test file from the store that is free and easy to download because it will quickly indicate if ultrasonic can be reproduced by the speaker once and for all. It's a concern, especially if a person is struggling to see results possibly. Ruling out volume being too low, or that there's an issue with ultrasonic reproduction, is important to do.

Yes, I’ve taken the phone that I use for subs and done frequency sweeps with it, both with the test file from the store and my own apps and my own files. I’ve verified the reproduction with two different frequency analyzer apps on two different tablets running two different OSes.

I’m 100% confident that I’m reproducing the ultrasonic as well as it can be reproduced on a cellphone speaker, and all over the board cellphone speakers are noted as being fine for ultrasonic.

Excellent!

Just trying to pin those down. It's happened often enough that it was worth asking about for your sake. No problem.

Maybe more loops etc. is what you'll end up needing. I myself tend to respond to a more aggressive approach with these. Perhaps you will too, all the best!

[whome]

Thanks!

I’m still watching the people using hybrid. That might be an interesting alternative to bumping up the loops, though for now my plan is to stay at 4 ultrasonic loops and increase the number of days on.

Day 33

A lot of grief, pain, numbness.

[CatMan]

Hybrid is amazing, I can co-sign it. Not all like it I admit, but for me, I love it.

[whome]

Day 36

Four loops yesterday and today. Today I did four loops ultrasonic while sleeping because it’s super busy during the daytime and I wanted to get the loops in.

[GreekGod22]

Day 36

Four loops yesterday and today. Today I did four loops ultrasonic while sleeping because it’s super busy during the daytime and I wanted to get the loops in.

Since when are you guys running multiple loops of OVv3 daily? And what is it that you reached the conclusion that you need more loops?

[whome]

Since when are you guys running multiple loops of OVv3 daily? And what is it that you reached the conclusion that you need more loops?

You do more loops if you feel it’s not having an effect. The rules are laid out by Shannon in https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-whome...#pid245552 . First you switch to two days off, then slowly increase the loops per day up to three, then start adding on days on.

[whome]

Day 37

Four loops today. Third day on. Will take two days off, then probably do a four-days-on group. Pondering hybrid.

[whome]

Day 39

Second day off.

The terror that I feel about the passage of time kicks in when dating, since in the dominant social paradigm women are looking for commitment, and thinking about commitment brings up that terror. So during the pandemic I thought about connecting to the poly/ENM community as a way to try to find connection but avoid that terror. I found such a community locally and joined in on their digital meetups.

The group was hosting an in-person party today, and I was both looking forward to and feeling anxiety about it. Looking forward to it as an opportunity, and feeling anxiety about how it would go.

There was one table in the back with a spinning wheel, where you were supposed to go with a second person, spin the wheel, and share something based on what color came up. I ran into a guy at the party who was someone who recognized me from the past, who I honestly only vaguely remembered his face but felt embarrassed that I couldn’t remember his name. We went to the table and spun the wheel, and what came up was to share a story. Nothing embarrassing, just a story.

And I couldn’t. My brain came to a halt, I entered a panic state, was barely able to apologize, and then sat for ten minutes while my brain slowly started functioning again.

After that, it was basically like the old days when I would go to a bar. I held a drink (in this case water, usually a diet coke), and wandered around. I tried to keep a smile on my face, but the self-hatred pain was roiling underneath. I felt utterly disconnected from everyone there, looking around trying to catch the eyes of a girl, and failing. About once an hour a guy would try to make small talk with me, but the freeze instinct would kick in, and I’d be somewhat able to hold the conversation, and then the convo would die no more than two minutes in.

And that’s it. An opportunity that only comes by every few months is gone. The self-hatred pain is burning and the instinct to shove a knife into my palm to feel even more excruciating pain is more prominent than it’s been in months. I’m feeling intense grief as my days fly by without me being able to do anything with them.

I’m very very tempted to try the hybrid tracks tomorrow, maybe two loops. I need something, anything, to get my life to start unfolding differently.

[whome]

Day 40

Three loops of hybrid today. Felt particularly sad listening to them today, but I don’t know if that’s because I’ve been feeling sad lately or because of something that the sub is doing. Still planning on doing cycles of 4-on-2-off for a while.

[whome]

Day 41

Another three hybrid loops. Feeling especially raw today in grief.

[Shannon]

Have you ever tried hypnosis to find the source of your grief?

[whome]

Have you ever tried hypnosis to find the source of your grief?

I went to a hypnotist at the beginning of 2020 who ran though what felt like a prefab scenario about looking at myself at the top of a mile high building, then descending an elevator, etc. It felt like he was going through the motions and not really noticing anything about me. After I was out of trance, he then was careless near the end of the session, casually talking about sensitive topics and I ended up emotionally burning. I’m still open to a good practitioner, but haven’t found one yet.