whome: OGSF 5.9G notes

[whome]

This is not a journal. This is notes.

I’ve been running OGSF for two cycles now. This is as per the docs: four days on, four off, four loops a day. Ultrasonic.

I’m finishing day 16, which means that I’m finishing an “off” cycle. And the last four days have been exhausting and emotionally brutally overwhelming in a bad way, though I can’t say if it’s the sub, or if it’s the temperature of my room, or if it’s just my emotions messing with me.

Should I make an adjustment? Fewer loops, switch to the masked version?

I have a long history of subs in which I either don’t execute, or the only sign of something happening is exhaustion and overwhelming bad emotions. I’m trying OGSF for a month to see if something new in it makes it capable of getting through whatever is up with me, but since I’m getting only overwhelming bad emotions, I want to give it a tweak so that if it’s capable of unwinding something in me instead of just slamming me into an emotional wall, that can happen.

[Shannon]

How are the days on vs the days off?

[whome]

How are the days on vs the days off?

From my notes:

Days 1–4, days on: day 3 was overnight; I woke the next morning exhausted, dizzy and nauseous
Days 5–8, days off: nothing noted
Days 9–12, days on: on day 2 I started feeling exhausted after the loops, and I slept exhausted and woke exhausted
Days 13–15, days off: the last three days I woke exhausted

I try to note anything out of the ordinary; if I didn’t note anything, it was my average of feeling tired and sad.

[callie]

I can state with almost certainty that your experience is a result of using OGSF. I have experienced similar things with it myself, such as being overwhelmed, strong headaches, nausea, depression, and hellish nightmares. These are all common symptoms for me. I was traumatized as a young kid and these programs bring up years of repressed emotions, were my brain essentially transforms into the mindset of my six-year-old self, leaving me feeling trapped and incapable of escaping it. What I believe is the reason why things are unnecessarily challenging for me, and possibly for you too, is that using OGSF in the US format, following the prescribed settings, creates too much pressure if you are sensitive. I had the same issue with OFv4 as well. In hindsight I think I had been pushing myself more than I could handle for three months straight, resulting in constant depression, nightmares, and other symptoms.

If I were you I would take a break for a while, then I would try to lower the volume or switch to masked format to see if things get easier. I was only planning to try OGSF for one month, and my subscription is almost over, so I won't get to try that out. However, that is what I would have done had I continued with it.

[Shannon]

Sorry I haven't been around to see this, it's been insane lately on my end. I suggest that it is a good idea for you to take some time off and I'll work on finding a solution for people who have been highly traumatized as kids. This shouldn't be anything near what you guys describe. It should be like what I'm experiencing, which is, tired by the process, but working through it without conscious issues. So give me a bit to get everything under control and take a break in the mean time, and I'll find suitable instructions for your type of situation.

[Shannon]

So @callie and @whome , have you tried the Masked format?

[whome]

So @callie and @whome , have you tried the Masked format?

I’m looking through my notes. I stuck with ultrasonic for OGSF, and in my notes for previous subs, when I switched away from it, I usually went to hybrid, not masked.

[whome]

So @callie and @whome , have you tried the Masked format?

I’m looking through my notes. I stuck with ultrasonic for OGSF, and in my notes for previous subs, when I switched away from it, I usually went to hybrid, not masked.

I’m coming up on the end of the first month of my subscription too, and like you, I’m not planning on continuing.

First, the streaming player is so broken that I literally don’t know and cannot control how many loops get played. I’ve determined experimentally that it usually glitches out on every other loop, so I specify 8 loops and after all the glitched loops I get four. However, I think one night I noticed that it didn’t glitch out after the first loop, so I got at least 5 loops that night, as I went to bed at that point. My options are 1. to punch in 8 loops and hope that the streaming player consistently glitches out and gives me four loops, or 2. to start the loops before 8pm (with bedtime set at midnight) so I can babysit the player and know exactly how many loops get played. This is a real problem when I have something in the evening and I don’t return home before, say, 10:30pm, and I have to trust the untrustworthy player to glitch out exactly once every other loop.

Second, I sleep extremely poorly and lightly, so while I can play ultrasonic loops, I can’t play masked ones, or they’ll keep me up at the volume (10/16) that I’m supposed to play them at.

My month is up on Tuesday, so I’ll do loops tonight masked, and tomorrow I’ll probably have to do loops ultrasonic because I’m coming home at 10:30 and don’t have time to get in masked loops before I go to bed, and then cancel the subscription Tuesday morning.