Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I'm happy to say I passed my other course just a little bit ago. I now only have 4 classes left and I should get enrolled in another 2 today. Going to try to get them done by Friday hopefully and then work on the last 2 over the weekend going into sometime next week. Kind of really happy right now since I am so close at the moment to leave this place and not returning honestly. My trip to the Philippines last year, prompted by DMSI 3.2, made me realize I don't want to stay and live here in the US. The general culture just doesn't mesh with my personality at all. It would make sense though since even growing up most of the people I considered friends were immigrants from Asia generally.

Anyway, will be working hard the next few days hopefully and finally be done with all this.

[DarthXedonias]

Ok, time for a quick update.

Got through most of the videos for my next course before I have to take the final test. Should take it today and most likely pass it. Also got signed up for another that is a submission based one which I might be able to finish today as well if I can make time. With those done I will have 2 left. 1 of them I will try to get done this weekend, which is Applied Algebra. Then I will have my last course which is a capstone project written paper that I will do at the beginning of next week. If I can get it done sometime next week then I will be done and ready to graduate. After that I just need to get my TEFL course done (one paper) to get my cert and then I decided I'm going to take a test that will allow me to be qualified to teach English in the state of Massachusetts. That qualification will allow me get a lot of high paying jobs that I normally wouldn't be able to get starting out.

As of now its looking like I will be going to either China, Dubai, or Saudi Arabia to teach. Korea is still a chance but it is lower on my priority since I would qualify for higher pay (at least 36k per year in a low cost foreign country). Only thing is that I noticed a portion of those jobs don't require you to be there until August. So there is still a chance I might still stay here for a few months (probably getting some good paying job here for a few months). If that's the case I hope that the LM in this sub is able to work its magic so I can get a job that not only I can tolerate for a while but also will allow me to take a month off early. As for things directly related to the sub I am still going through resistance at times (mainly flashbacks triggered by the instructions aggravating my PTSD symptoms) but I am pushing through them.

All I know is that the sub must be working on something really big since up to about a week ago wasn't having as much horrible resistance and now it has reared its ugly head. Will keep going until at least the 3 month mark though then see what happens. It seems like this sub is digging up some muck I really haven't dealt with up to this point. I do have a hint of what is going on. I have noticed that the flashbacks have had to do with times I felt humiliated or embarrassed in front of people. I think before the sub was making me not care about people's opinions about me but now it is working really deep on that and cutting it out at the root. Its been nothing but these types of memories for a little over a week now. Hopefully it will be over with soon.

[Shannon]

Detoxifying your mind, body and emotions. As well as you are responding to this program, I think in your case it may be worth doing 6 to 12 months of it. Not that I expect you will, but I think that would be very good for you.

[DarthXedonias]

Detoxifying your mind, body and emotions.  As well as you are responding to this program, I think in your case it may be worth doing 6 to 12 months of it.  Not that I expect you will, but I think that would be very good for you.

If you say so I will really think about it then. Part of me wants to do the 3 months then move on to UMS because I could really use the wealth right now and since I only have 5 years before I would have to move permanently back to Indonesia. Granted, if the LM component succeeds in getting me a high paying job in Saudi Arabia, Dubai, or China then I might be able to hold off on UMS for a bit longer. If running this for that long can bring me to some higher base level than what I'm at that will make other subs work better I might well consider it then not because I'm looking forward to sticking to one sub for 6 months but if it makes everything else work better and I have to deal with less garbage in the long term then I guess it would be best. 

I just hope if I do this that at some point there is some kind of tip over to the subs side. As of now it feels like i'm going through waves of resistance. It seems like I'm doing better than ok then something major needs to be worked on in which I feel not as great or neutral for the next 1 or 2, and then its dealt with till the cycle repeats again. I'm guessing though that will start to change over the months right? @Shannon 

Small update: Submitted 4 different papers last night for a class and then woke up to them all being graded with a passing grade this morning. So I'm down to 3 classes and will try to get another done today (a finance Class). If I keep this up I should be done this coming week if I can get my huge paper done for the last class on time.

[Shannon]

Yes. As you clear something, it opens the way to clear deeper and deeper things. Eventually you will be seeing less and less resistance until it just flows.

[DarthXedonias]

Yes. As you clear something, it opens the way to clear deeper and deeper things. Eventually you will be seeing less and less resistance until it just flows.

I will really consider your suggestion then. Eh, I just hope that if I decide to go through with doing 6 months of this I will see even more permanent concrete results. Not that I haven't seen some to a degree right now but just hope it will just be an obvious transformation when I look back from a few months from now. 

I did want to give an update of something I experienced this morning. I woke up after my 3 night listening (I literally start listening to my loops 10 mins or so before 12am then I go to sleep) feeling different right away. Went to the rest room and looked in the mirror and something seemed really different about myself and it felt like something was missing internally. I don't know what it was but the fact that i noticed something really big was missing (most likely cleared over night) started freaking me out and I noticed my breathing started to increase rapidly. I had to calm myself down. Still don't know what got cleared but it must have been something foundational to cause that type of reaction. I did notice one other thing that my internal thoughts felt more clear and concise. There was less "fogginess" in my thinking I believe. Going along with the theme I alluded to before I started thinking about these flashbacks and I literally said why am I even concerned with these past memories of what people even thought of me for? Its not like they are going about their day thinking about me from a long time ago. They probably have most likely forgotten and here I am  having the memory of them control my future like an idiot. I don't think that is the last of it at least I'm not sure yet. There might be more later on I have to deal with on this issue. 

One other thing I felt was I thought about the girl I'm talking to currently and literally admitted in my mind that I love her and did so without any fear or confusion I just realized right now. Usually if I realized I had feelings for someone I normally start to feel this fear that comes with it. I will admit after years and years of being mistreated by women, having my feelings savagely destroyed with no mercy on their part, or being used I think that is where I get the accompanying fear from. I think after all that I just became "jaded" about the idea of having feelings for someone else or loving them to the point that it felt like "oh here this goes again. I'm just going to get abused like I did last time". So to have this change in thought and not have this fear response is something big for me. 

As for other things going on I have been searching though potential jobs that I might apply for once I graduate and get my other certs, etc in order. I think the LM in this sub has lead me to an good deal regarding a company I was thinking about working for. It is a international learning center with a branch in Dubai. Turns out if I decide to get my English teacher qualification and take the math qualification I could potentially get an job that pays 3,800 USD a month. This is already with them providing accommodation, transportation to/from the school, and free utilities. Only thing I would have to pay for out of pocket is internet, gym, and food. Would be able to easily pocket 3,400+ a month (since its tax free as well). So, I will be keeping an eye out for this type of job. Only catch with this company is that they do work long hours (7:30am - 4pm) and seems like at least 1 Saturday a month. I am still open to other countries as well though since I can find similar deals probably in China. 

As for my current work of courses, I will be taking a final test for an class in a couple of hours and after I pass that I will get right away working out the things I need to know for the math class. With any luck I will then take the class in the morning and then when that happens I only have 1 class left. Almost there. Funny enough I will be the first person in my family to actually graduate from college with an bachelors degree. I feel like LTU is influencing me in another way as well. For whatever reason early I was actually considering after teaching in an Foreign country for a while and if I got my finances in order I might try to apply to one of the Ivy league schools for graduate school (whether for an MBA or Computer science degree). Anyway, this thought had never really crossed my mind before in any serious way. Sure when I was really young and in high-school I had "daydreamed" about going to one of those schools but this felt like I was really considering it and felt like I had a very good chance of getting in. I guess it might be the success part of this sub starting to work its magic. Its probably directing me down the path that would lead to the most success. 

With that last part in mind I will seriously consider what Shannon said about staying on this for a bit longer. I did have an question if you don't mind @Shannon. Do you know if the LM component of this sub has the potential to be permanent? I know for things like the aura for DMSI, for example, won't last because it requires too much power. So the subconscious doesn't want to keep outputting such an aura. I wondering though is this the same case for "luck" though? I know you said in the past as well that the components for what we regard as "luck" is something we naturally have and all your doing is directing it. Does this require a lot of energy to do that though?

[RTBoss]

As for other things going on I have been searching though potential jobs that I might apply for once I graduate and get my other certs, etc in order. I think the LM in this sub has lead me to an good deal regarding a company I was thinking about working for. It is a international learning center with a branch in Dubai. Turns out if I decide to get my English teacher qualification and take the math qualification I could potentially get an job that pays 3,800 USD a month. This is already with them providing accommodation, transportation to/from the school, and free utilities. Only thing I would have to pay for out of pocket is internet, gym, and food. Would be able to easily pocket 3,400+ a month (since its tax free as well). So, I will be keeping an eye out for this type of job. Only catch with this company is that they do work long hours (7:30am - 4pm) and seems like at least 1 Saturday a month. I am still open to other countries as well though since I can find similar deals probably in China. 

Don't forget that even if you don't owe tax to the country you're living in, you'll always owe Uncle Sam.     I'm also curious about why you think 7:30 AM - 4 PM (with breaks) is long hours?  That's only 8 1/2 hours.  What kind of hours are ideal to you?

[DarthXedonias]

As for other things going on I have been searching though potential jobs that I might apply for once I graduate and get my other certs, etc in order. I think the LM in this sub has lead me to an good deal regarding a company I was thinking about working for. It is a international learning center with a branch in Dubai. Turns out if I decide to get my English teacher qualification and take the math qualification I could potentially get an job that pays 3,800 USD a month. This is already with them providing accommodation, transportation to/from the school, and free utilities. Only thing I would have to pay for out of pocket is internet, gym, and food. Would be able to easily pocket 3,400+ a month (since its tax free as well). So, I will be keeping an eye out for this type of job. Only catch with this company is that they do work long hours (7:30am - 4pm) and seems like at least 1 Saturday a month. I am still open to other countries as well though since I can find similar deals probably in China. 

Don't forget that even if you don't owe tax to the country you're living in, you'll always owe Uncle Sam.     I'm also curious about why you think 7:30 AM - 4 PM (with breaks) is long hours?  That's only 8 1/2 hours.  What kind of hours are ideal to you?

Oh, I know that I still have to report my earnings. Granted from my understanding I will still get an pass because I believe there is an exception in the law that even if I report it that as long as its below 86K per year then that money is off limits (money below that that is made in an foreign country). Will double check to make sure the law hasn't changed though. As for the long hours thing, yeah, normally it wouldn't be in most industries but apparently in the teaching English industry usually you only work 20 hours an week up to 30 hours possibly. It fluctuates depending on if you have "office hours" or staff meetings, etc. Some schools don't even have things like office hours. You just do your 20 hours or so and you are done for the week. University gigs in China are especially lenient. Usually only work 20 hours an week within 3 days (normally Mon,Wed,Fri) and no office hours generally. 

I do admit I would prefer only like 30 hours a week at most but eh, with how they are paying me it would still be worth I think. On top of the fact that I wouldn't have to pay anything out of pocket except food and internet really. More money to pay off any debts I might have and for leisure activities.

[DarthXedonias]

Short update:

Glad to say I passed my class on Sunday night and then passed another class today. It was interesting because I was dreading this Algebra class this entire time then when I finally tried to find some things on it (they recently updated the entire course so its entirely new) I ran across someone who said they literally took the Pre-test and final test without even touching any of the course material. I went right for the Pre-test and found out the course is actually stupid easy. I admit I was relieved but also annoyed because I worried and pushed back this class for so long only to find out it was stupid easy and i didn't even have to look through the course work at all really. So I ended up take the test a few hours later today and passed. With that I am pretty much at the end of the road. Only thing I have left now is this course that is like a 25 page paper project. After I get that done I graduate. Only thing I will have left to do before I start applying for jobs to teach English is finish my TEFL program (only need to send a paper in to finish) and sit the tests for the Teacher qualification for English and Math so I can get a higher paying job overseas.

Its amazing that I've gotten to this point. This all started because 3.2 pushed me to go to the Philippines to get some dental work done and to find some inspiration which I did. After I came back I was determined to leave the states since I had experience a better life else where and had better dating prospects as well. I really worked myself hard at time to try to get though this. To give you guys an idea, despite my procrastinating at times, when I started my first 6 month term in September going through to February I literally completed about 43 credits worth of classes. In the last two months alone (in my second term that started the first of March) with this last class I need to finish I will have finished 47 credits worth of classes. It now seems like all my hard work is about to pay off. Soon I will be in some other country enjoying my life, and probably having better success running things like DMSI for example.

I've also found a women who has character and seems good overall. On top of that who doesn't mind me having other women in my life later on which is pretty rare. Life seems to be going pretty well so far. I think the only thing I really need LTU to help me with, specifically the LM component, is that I pass my Teacher Qualifications on the first time and then get a very lucrative job offer. As far as after that I will still very much thinking about continuing to run this sub for up to 6 months. I do want to get to the 3 month mark though and see if there have been any new changes. If so I will continue with this for probably 6 months. If not, I guess UMS will be on the list since I do desperately have to basically become financially independent within 5 years since I am on a time table now.

Anyway, that is about it for now. Excited that finally I'm going to actually start a promising period in my life.

[Shannon]

Excellent progress! Bravo!

[DarthXedonias]

Excellent progress!  Bravo!

Thanks!

Update: Well, been working on my paper for the last class most of the day and am already almost finished. I think I will be submitting it around midnight tonight before I head to sleep. After that it will get graded and if it doesn't need any corrections then I'm done with the degree and pretty much graduate. I also got rid of my couch today and will slowly start putting other things in storage over the coming month. Will probably get some small storage unit where I will be keeping things for years until I make the permanent move to Indonesia. 

I also started looking up flight prices for various countries. After a cursory look it would seem if I want to go somewhere to work instead of staying here for a few months I should go to Indonesia first one way and then from there take a one way flight to where ever I get employment at. Don't know exactly where I will be working but I will be looking at all my options at the moment. Leaning heavily toward Dubai, Saudi Arabia or even China. Korea is still on the list but it isn't as much a priority once I realized I could get teacher qualifications easily and then get higher pay in other countries.I am leaning very heavily towards Dubai though for the reasons I mentioned in another post. Also, there is a bigger variety of women who are there anyway. So it might be a good testing ground for any future version of DMSI possibly. Though I admit it will be a bit more difficult since its a complete sausage party for the most part (70% of the entire UAE is male). 

 Starting tomorrow I'm going to start going back to the gym to basically improve myself as much as possible over the next month before I leave. Will also get my TEFL cert done and start studying for my teacher qualifications (Both in English and Math) so I can take that as soon as possible. Basically, the whole month of May is just going to be me getting everything in order so I can leave. Finally, all this is about to happen. Its all for the best too as a could of days ago its like I got another sign to leave. The owner of the apartment building apparently have decided to raise rents by 300 USD in the month of July. Glad to finally be moving from here because this owner and the person he left in charge of handling the property have been ridiculous over the years. Glad I won't have to deal with this insanity any longer.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I finished by written project mostly last night and then did a bit more editing early this morning then sent it. I wanted to make sure I got it right the first time without having it sent back for corrections. Anyway, that is out of the way. Will be going to the gym soon then I will be working on my last paper for my TEFL certificate which shouldn't take long at all. After that I will rest for the remainder of the day. Tomorrow I will probably start studying for that Teacher qualification test. I'm hoping that I can get through all the videos and probably take the 3 tests within a week. On Friday I will continue studying and also go to the DMV early in the morning. I lost my driver's license a while back ago and need to get it. There is a high chance that when I teach in another country I might be required to drive depending on the assignment. So I need to get that done. Over the weekend I will probably go to an office store to print out a form I need for the US consulate.

Funny, maybe I am already breaking through a lot of resistance now because I feel like I'm planning things out ahead of time and being dedicated to getting them done. Its like now i'm not satisfied with just laying around and doing nothing. It seems so boring and unfulfilling to do that now. Guess this is the power of running this sub for so long. Yes, if things like this keep up I might be inclined to keep up with this when I reach the 3 month mark. The only thing I have to worry about is the fact that I do have debts I have to pay so UMS would be helpful for that but we shall see. I might be able to get that mostly paid off while running this sub.

As for anything else, not much is going on. Feeling good that I'm finally going to graduate. It was interesting, as soon as I got down to the 4 class left mark I suddenly saw the light at the end of the tunnel and then I just blew through the rest of the courses. Now its like I have this momentum and I am using that to get all these things that will set up my future life done. I admit based on these results I am curious to see how I would be like after 6 months on this program or even a year.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

You know, it sounds like you're doing A LOT more work for your TEFL certification than I did for my TESOL certification. I just used International Open Academy for 5 bucks and the process was pretty lazy TBH. Now I'm starting to wonder if my TESOL certification from International Open Academy is worth anything? I mean it was only 5 bucks, but still... I'm wondering if any companies abroad will accept it?

[DarthXedonias]

You know, it sounds like you're doing A LOT more work for your TEFL certification than I did for my TESOL certification. I just used International Open Academy for 5 bucks and the process was pretty lazy TBH. Now I'm starting to wonder if my TESOL certification from International Open Academy is worth anything? I mean it was only 5 bucks, but still... I'm wondering if any companies abroad will accept it?

Nah, my TEFL certification course wasn't hard at all. I skimmed through most of the material and passed the end of unit tests. I then put it on hold once I started my degree program (I only had that paper left to send to finish the course). Now that I'm pretty much done with my degree program I am going to send in that last lesson plan and then I'm done. 

I should mention though that "some" countries are starting to crackdown on TEFL certs that are gotten purely online. As in they won't process your visa if it was gotten through an online course. Due to that if the company I work for offers a TEFL on the job I might take that one as well because at least then I would have gotten it in person and I would be able to get around that visa issue.