09-06-2018, 07:21 AM
Well, Thought I make a small update since I haven't made one in a while.
Haven't been on any subs for a while but I have experience a TID situation yesterday morning. I don't know why but I felt that kind of shift in Conscious while I was laying in bed which made me realize it was TID. I felt very peaceful and calm like for quite a while. On top of that I had this kind of buzzing feeling in my head as well. I've also noticed over the last 2 weeks or so the pleasure I feel from watching porn is slowly little by little dropping off. Sometimes I wonder why I still even bother watching it at times.
Things are going well with my plans so far. I'm on the last part of my TEFL certification and once I turn that in and pass I will be done with the whole course. On top of that earlier this week I started my online courses. I'm already about 90% through my first course and I only just started Tuesday. If I keep this up and finish courses even faster I should be done with my degree within 2-3 months. I'm hoping to be done by sometime in November. Once that is done I think I might have even more options open to me. I think I might go to South Korea if I get this done in a good amount of time. There I will be able to pay off any remaining debts I have and my goal is to reach about 1 million dollars in savings/investments within 2 years which I re-found a way that will make that quite possible. Once that is done I will start investing international real estate so i can have some passive income though I will probably keep going with the Teaching English gig just to have a low key job to do and make the Visa process a lot easier for getting into other countries.
Lastly, there is one other piece of news that to me feels like both bad and good news. Even though me and that girl I met in the Philippines were no longer officially going out anymore, we still frequently talked to each other over Viber. We even talked about our future and it was heavily implied that we would get back together most likely after I finished my degree. Well, by last weekend I stopped hearing from her really. I would start sending message and I would see that she had seen them but she wouldn't reply for the past few days. That's when I started getting this feeling that I think I'm pretty much on mark on. That she has probably found someone else, whether she is seeing a local guy or she found another foreign guy to talk to. I think she just got tired waiting really and most likely started talking to someone else, hence why she has started ignoring me for the most part. I did finally send her a message saying I need to talk to her when she is free and the only reply I got, finally after days, was "why". Something about that reply just gave me the impression that she just sees me as a bother now and further made me think she is seeing or talking to someone else now.
I did reply with something else like "I just wanted to talk to you. You haven't replied in a while, I was getting worried". Even now, hours later I see that she has seen my message but hasn't replied. The good news about this whole thing though is that I'm kind of relieve that this is happening. Over the last few weeks after I started experiencing TID I've been starting to have these doubts about this whole thing with her. In the way that Honestly, I don't thing I would want to settle down with her and quite frankly I feel like I could do better especially with 3.3 on the horizon. She is still a cute girl and all but I feel like if I were to settle down with someone eventually I would rather have someone who is at the very high end of physical attraction and like wise wouldn't mind being part of a harem type situation and was Bi, which would make that whole thing more possible.
Besides, I noticed after a while she started to change her mind on things that she originally wanted in life. Case in point how she said she was bi and was down for a threesome (multiple times from the way it sounded) before marriage. Thing is she then down graded that to maybe just try it once then after that never again. Just things like that and then me thinking about doing better with a even more attractive girl made me start to have doubts. Only thing that was holding me back was the fact how we talked about our future together and she seemed to be a genuinely good, wholesome girl. Either way though part of me is relieved that all this might be the case. Means I can move on and get a even better women to have as a companion or at least have some more short term type things until I find the right kind of woman. I'm starting to thing this new attitude, not being upset about this at all, and being very optimistic about my prospects in the future is probably TID from 3.3. I know the old me if he would have gotten a women like this would have just settled for her and made sure he didn't lose her at all. I would have probably been so needy and thought this was the best I was going to get. I see this as a major improvement on who I was.
There is actually one other thing that I have noticed as well. I have noticed more anger and frustration. Its more anger and frustration with where I am currently in life. It has kind of pushed me to get as far in my studies as I am right now but this frustration and dissatisfaction with the status quo has just randomly popped up out of seemingly no where. This is a change from when I was actively running 3.2 where I felt like I was in a deadlock. I knew things couldn't go on as they have been but at the same time I was too "afraid" to even move forward. So it felt like I was just in this neutral space where I was neither progressing or regressing really.
Anyway, that's about all that has happened for now. Just anxiously waiting for 3.3 to come out. I really hope that the fear removal module in beast shows very good promise. I feel like it might be a real game change to finally get most of us through this fear of executing.
Haven't been on any subs for a while but I have experience a TID situation yesterday morning. I don't know why but I felt that kind of shift in Conscious while I was laying in bed which made me realize it was TID. I felt very peaceful and calm like for quite a while. On top of that I had this kind of buzzing feeling in my head as well. I've also noticed over the last 2 weeks or so the pleasure I feel from watching porn is slowly little by little dropping off. Sometimes I wonder why I still even bother watching it at times.
Things are going well with my plans so far. I'm on the last part of my TEFL certification and once I turn that in and pass I will be done with the whole course. On top of that earlier this week I started my online courses. I'm already about 90% through my first course and I only just started Tuesday. If I keep this up and finish courses even faster I should be done with my degree within 2-3 months. I'm hoping to be done by sometime in November. Once that is done I think I might have even more options open to me. I think I might go to South Korea if I get this done in a good amount of time. There I will be able to pay off any remaining debts I have and my goal is to reach about 1 million dollars in savings/investments within 2 years which I re-found a way that will make that quite possible. Once that is done I will start investing international real estate so i can have some passive income though I will probably keep going with the Teaching English gig just to have a low key job to do and make the Visa process a lot easier for getting into other countries.
Lastly, there is one other piece of news that to me feels like both bad and good news. Even though me and that girl I met in the Philippines were no longer officially going out anymore, we still frequently talked to each other over Viber. We even talked about our future and it was heavily implied that we would get back together most likely after I finished my degree. Well, by last weekend I stopped hearing from her really. I would start sending message and I would see that she had seen them but she wouldn't reply for the past few days. That's when I started getting this feeling that I think I'm pretty much on mark on. That she has probably found someone else, whether she is seeing a local guy or she found another foreign guy to talk to. I think she just got tired waiting really and most likely started talking to someone else, hence why she has started ignoring me for the most part. I did finally send her a message saying I need to talk to her when she is free and the only reply I got, finally after days, was "why". Something about that reply just gave me the impression that she just sees me as a bother now and further made me think she is seeing or talking to someone else now.
I did reply with something else like "I just wanted to talk to you. You haven't replied in a while, I was getting worried". Even now, hours later I see that she has seen my message but hasn't replied. The good news about this whole thing though is that I'm kind of relieve that this is happening. Over the last few weeks after I started experiencing TID I've been starting to have these doubts about this whole thing with her. In the way that Honestly, I don't thing I would want to settle down with her and quite frankly I feel like I could do better especially with 3.3 on the horizon. She is still a cute girl and all but I feel like if I were to settle down with someone eventually I would rather have someone who is at the very high end of physical attraction and like wise wouldn't mind being part of a harem type situation and was Bi, which would make that whole thing more possible.
Besides, I noticed after a while she started to change her mind on things that she originally wanted in life. Case in point how she said she was bi and was down for a threesome (multiple times from the way it sounded) before marriage. Thing is she then down graded that to maybe just try it once then after that never again. Just things like that and then me thinking about doing better with a even more attractive girl made me start to have doubts. Only thing that was holding me back was the fact how we talked about our future together and she seemed to be a genuinely good, wholesome girl. Either way though part of me is relieved that all this might be the case. Means I can move on and get a even better women to have as a companion or at least have some more short term type things until I find the right kind of woman. I'm starting to thing this new attitude, not being upset about this at all, and being very optimistic about my prospects in the future is probably TID from 3.3. I know the old me if he would have gotten a women like this would have just settled for her and made sure he didn't lose her at all. I would have probably been so needy and thought this was the best I was going to get. I see this as a major improvement on who I was.
There is actually one other thing that I have noticed as well. I have noticed more anger and frustration. Its more anger and frustration with where I am currently in life. It has kind of pushed me to get as far in my studies as I am right now but this frustration and dissatisfaction with the status quo has just randomly popped up out of seemingly no where. This is a change from when I was actively running 3.2 where I felt like I was in a deadlock. I knew things couldn't go on as they have been but at the same time I was too "afraid" to even move forward. So it felt like I was just in this neutral space where I was neither progressing or regressing really.
Anyway, that's about all that has happened for now. Just anxiously waiting for 3.3 to come out. I really hope that the fear removal module in beast shows very good promise. I feel like it might be a real game change to finally get most of us through this fear of executing.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche