Shannon's LTU v6 Journal

[Shannon]

Maybe it's time to try a third party controller instead of the official Sony one?

Like one of these:
https://nerdtechy.com/best-wired-ps4-controllers
Those are all wired, so likely to be cheaper and more reliable than a wireless one. Also healthier to use

Or if you insist on wireless, maybe one of these:
https://www.techradar.com/uk/news/best-ps4-controllers

I can't personally vouch for any of them though, because I currently don't have a console. I only (occasionally) game on my laptop.

Thank you for the suggestion.  I will have to consider this... later today I'll be going back to GameStop to make sure they know I am not happy and put in a warranty claim on this one though.  But yeah, this is ridiculous.  I didn't know there were any other options out there.

[THolt]

Yesterday I was tired enough that I had to rely on caffeine to stay functional and get my allotted work done for the day.  I only achieved my minimum goal, but given how stupid ridiculous this program is to build without the help of some software I have not yet created, I was really glad to be able to just achieve the minimums I set for myself.  Day before yesterday I only achieved about 60% of those minimums.  This program is definitely using a lot of energy mentally to do what it's doing.

Last night was our first night off for Cycle 1.  I played 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, but GF just ignored it and laid there awake for probably more than an hour.  I fell asleep after about 45 minutes of listening to see if she would fall asleep.  It really annoys me when she does that.  I see I have to rebuild the damned sleep aid again, for the 9th time, trying to get her to execute.  She executes unless her subconscious is nervous, and during LTU6 she has been nervous a lot because of how demanding the program is.  At least this time, I know how to build it with a major power increase; the new scripting methods and Platinum Lake were not in use when I built Tranquilizer B.

She and one of my other testers are extreme pains in my ass when it comes to getting them to execute the sleep induction programs.  I know I will get there, but when am I going to have time to build a damned upgrade?

Anyway, enough ranting.  I woke up this morning feeling like I felt right before I went to bed last night: exhausted.  I did not want to get up.  GF has this little inside joke with me where she tells me she's hungry by saying, "Hung-ga-ree-ree!"  That's her way of telling me, "Hey, get up, I wanna eat."  I was not ready to get up, but I did.  Had breakfast, and now my eyes feel like they're melting out of my head because my body is focused on digesting the food.  I can tell that LTU6 S1 is very busy making major changes in me at a lot of levels and in a lot of directions at once.  Two times during this cycle, I felt a sort of "I don't know what's going on" feeling... like I was lost because I was busy changing, and what was "normal" wasn't present.  There was only the shuffling and change  process.  Kind of like having all the employees of a large firm move everything in one company skyscraper to the skyscraper next door.  While they're in process, no work gets done and everything is in a chaotic state of change.  But the change will quickly result in something much better, that I can definitely feel.

During this cycle I have been noticing that I am becoming more patient.  Normally whenever I have to take a break during work to let my mind relax so I don't run out of energy, I play a video game for 20-30 minutes.  This work I am doing is so boring, tedious and mind-numbing that I can't just watch YouTube videos and learn stuff while I take that break; I have to play a game to let my brain fully relax.  So I decided to play Sniper Elite 4 again.  The frustration comes with this being the fourth controller in a row that has developed problems that will require that I replace it, and every one of them has done so within 3 months of owning it.  Usually within 2 weeks.

Previously, the first three all developed issues that would force the camera to pan up or pan left continuously.  This new controller, which my GF bought for me as a gift trying to make me happy a couple months ago, now has developed an issue where the left stick sticks in such a way that while I am playing, it will not let me stop running.  So if I run from one place to another, and let go of the left stick, it just keeps going.  This results in me running off cliffs, running through the bush into enemy camps, etc.  This of course frustrates me.  Not just that Sony puts out such garbage that 4 controllers in a row ($75 a pop) have been broken by normal usage (not thrown) within 2-8 weeks, but that the results get me killed in the game a lot.  

I actually stopped playing with my PlayStation for a long time before she got me this new controller because of this.  The previous 3 controllers made it impossible to aim to take a shot.  Now this one makes me run off cliffs and run straight into enemy camps, only to be gunned down.  Before LTU6s1, I would have to restrain myself from throwing the controller and then go outside and calm down for a while.  Now I am finding it much easier to stop before I get that upset, and calm down.

If anyone from Sony is reading this... I will not be buying a PlayStation 5.  As much as I don't like Microsoft, at least their controllers never gave me any issues.  The only reason I had to replace a Microsoft controller was because I would get frustrated when the game itself (I'm looking at you, World of Tanks) would screw up on a bug and get me killed.  I went to Sony because everyone told me how much better they were.  Get a PlayStation, they said.  It's so much better, they said.  Well only if you like being frustrated constantly and having to either waste your time requesting warranty replacement, or waste your money buying another one of their crappy controllers!  Forget it.  I'm going back to XBox when I buy another console.  Unless I buy myself a dedicated gaming computer.  But neither of those things is going to happen anytime soon, so I'm stuck with don't play, or waste my time on warranty requests or money on a new controller.

Screw you, Sony.

But yes, I'm much more patient when Sony screws up now.

I can tell today I am going to have to rely on caffeine to be productive.  My face feels odd, my eyes feel like they're melting, and I am feeling like I haven't slept in almost 24 hours.  I've been awake for just about 3 hours now.  Maybe less.  I can't afford to sleep more today, since I have to keep going on this job or it will never get done... what I am doing now used to take me 1-2 hours.  Now it takes me 32 hours.  Thanks, Platinum Lake.  /sarcasm

Anyway... enough of my complainery.  Time to go inject some caffeine into my brain and get back to work.  I can't wait until the software I am designing right now is finished.  It will be able to do this 32 hours worth of work in about 1 second.  The only issue I have is... I haven't written code in about 10 years, and the language I use has changed a lot in that time.  I have to re-learn it.  And who has time?  By the time I'm done with my day's minimum work, I'm shot.  If I can even make it to that point.  Sometimes I wish I could just stop using subliminals for a while and focus on work, but this isn't just about me.  I have to consider what GF needs also.

So in summary, LTUv6s1: Super powerful, making lots of good changes quickly, wearing me out in the process.  Right when I most need to have energy.  Day 1 off, this thing is going full steam ahead.  Just wow.

Now where did I put that Mio Energy?

Wow sounds like LTU6 is a hard hitter. Haha 


Maybe you and your GF can take turns cooking breakfast and other meals so you can get your sleep in haha

[LionKing]

Just as I'm thinking that yes, I'll go from my xbox one x to a ps5 next because Sony has those darn exclusives that are supposed to be so good. I could even play their previous releases. But now seeing a couple people mention constant quality issues - never had any with my xboxes and I like the controller and styling more. Well, no rush to decide..

[Shannon]

Yesterday I was tired enough that I had to rely on caffeine to stay functional and get my allotted work done for the day.  I only achieved my minimum goal, but given how stupid ridiculous this program is to build without the help of some software I have not yet created, I was really glad to be able to just achieve the minimums I set for myself.  Day before yesterday I only achieved about 60% of those minimums.  This program is definitely using a lot of energy mentally to do what it's doing.

Last night was our first night off for Cycle 1.  I played 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, but GF just ignored it and laid there awake for probably more than an hour.  I fell asleep after about 45 minutes of listening to see if she would fall asleep.  It really annoys me when she does that.  I see I have to rebuild the damned sleep aid again, for the 9th time, trying to get her to execute.  She executes unless her subconscious is nervous, and during LTU6 she has been nervous a lot because of how demanding the program is.  At least this time, I know how to build it with a major power increase; the new scripting methods and Platinum Lake were not in use when I built Tranquilizer B.

She and one of my other testers are extreme pains in my ass when it comes to getting them to execute the sleep induction programs.  I know I will get there, but when am I going to have time to build a damned upgrade?

Anyway, enough ranting.  I woke up this morning feeling like I felt right before I went to bed last night: exhausted.  I did not want to get up.  GF has this little inside joke with me where she tells me she's hungry by saying, "Hung-ga-ree-ree!"  That's her way of telling me, "Hey, get up, I wanna eat."  I was not ready to get up, but I did.  Had breakfast, and now my eyes feel like they're melting out of my head because my body is focused on digesting the food.  I can tell that LTU6 S1 is very busy making major changes in me at a lot of levels and in a lot of directions at once.  Two times during this cycle, I felt a sort of "I don't know what's going on" feeling... like I was lost because I was busy changing, and what was "normal" wasn't present.  There was only the shuffling and change  process.  Kind of like having all the employees of a large firm move everything in one company skyscraper to the skyscraper next door.  While they're in process, no work gets done and everything is in a chaotic state of change.  But the change will quickly result in something much better, that I can definitely feel.

During this cycle I have been noticing that I am becoming more patient.  Normally whenever I have to take a break during work to let my mind relax so I don't run out of energy, I play a video game for 20-30 minutes.  This work I am doing is so boring, tedious and mind-numbing that I can't just watch YouTube videos and learn stuff while I take that break; I have to play a game to let my brain fully relax.  So I decided to play Sniper Elite 4 again.  The frustration comes with this being the fourth controller in a row that has developed problems that will require that I replace it, and every one of them has done so within 3 months of owning it.  Usually within 2 weeks.

Previously, the first three all developed issues that would force the camera to pan up or pan left continuously.  This new controller, which my GF bought for me as a gift trying to make me happy a couple months ago, now has developed an issue where the left stick sticks in such a way that while I am playing, it will not let me stop running.  So if I run from one place to another, and let go of the left stick, it just keeps going.  This results in me running off cliffs, running through the bush into enemy camps, etc.  This of course frustrates me.  Not just that Sony puts out such garbage that 4 controllers in a row ($75 a pop) have been broken by normal usage (not thrown) within 2-8 weeks, but that the results get me killed in the game a lot.  

I actually stopped playing with my PlayStation for a long time before she got me this new controller because of this.  The previous 3 controllers made it impossible to aim to take a shot.  Now this one makes me run off cliffs and run straight into enemy camps, only to be gunned down.  Before LTU6s1, I would have to restrain myself from throwing the controller and then go outside and calm down for a while.  Now I am finding it much easier to stop before I get that upset, and calm down.

If anyone from Sony is reading this... I will not be buying a PlayStation 5.  As much as I don't like Microsoft, at least their controllers never gave me any issues.  The only reason I had to replace a Microsoft controller was because I would get frustrated when the game itself (I'm looking at you, World of Tanks) would screw up on a bug and get me killed.  I went to Sony because everyone told me how much better they were.  Get a PlayStation, they said.  It's so much better, they said.  Well only if you like being frustrated constantly and having to either waste your time requesting warranty replacement, or waste your money buying another one of their crappy controllers!  Forget it.  I'm going back to XBox when I buy another console.  Unless I buy myself a dedicated gaming computer.  But neither of those things is going to happen anytime soon, so I'm stuck with don't play, or waste my time on warranty requests or money on a new controller.

Screw you, Sony.

But yes, I'm much more patient when Sony screws up now.

I can tell today I am going to have to rely on caffeine to be productive.  My face feels odd, my eyes feel like they're melting, and I am feeling like I haven't slept in almost 24 hours.  I've been awake for just about 3 hours now.  Maybe less.  I can't afford to sleep more today, since I have to keep going on this job or it will never get done... what I am doing now used to take me 1-2 hours.  Now it takes me 32 hours.  Thanks, Platinum Lake.  /sarcasm

Anyway... enough of my complainery.  Time to go inject some caffeine into my brain and get back to work.  I can't wait until the software I am designing right now is finished.  It will be able to do this 32 hours worth of work in about 1 second.  The only issue I have is... I haven't written code in about 10 years, and the language I use has changed a lot in that time.  I have to re-learn it.  And who has time?  By the time I'm done with my day's minimum work, I'm shot.  If I can even make it to that point.  Sometimes I wish I could just stop using subliminals for a while and focus on work, but this isn't just about me.  I have to consider what GF needs also.

So in summary, LTUv6s1: Super powerful, making lots of good changes quickly, wearing me out in the process.  Right when I most need to have energy.  Day 1 off, this thing is going full steam ahead.  Just wow.

Now where did I put that Mio Energy?

Wow sounds like LTU6 is a hard hitter. Haha 


Maybe you and your GF can take turns cooking breakfast and other meals so you can get your sleep in haha

We do that.  It doesn't help.  lol

[Shannon]

Just as I'm thinking that yes, I'll go from my xbox one x to a ps5 next because Sony has those darn exclusives that are supposed to be so good. I could even play their previous releases. But now seeing a couple people mention constant quality issues - never had any with my xboxes and I like the controller and styling more. Well, no rush to decide..

Well I have had a number of people tell me that they either can't believe that I have had every controller I purchased die in 2-8 weeks, or that I must be full of it.  I appear to be the only person I have encountered that had this happen.

Today at GameStop, the guy behind the counter explained that "You know, controllers wear out.  You do have to replace them."  I bought it in May of 2020, and received it in June.  I also haven't exactly had much time to use it since then... maybe 15 or 20 hours of game play?  If that's enough to wear them out, then I'm going to be disgusted for a different version of the same reason.

But the warranty is going to get used again and again until they figure it out.  I am not buying more of these things.

Maybe I just have the worst luck in history.

[NOMAD]

Two times during this cycle, I felt a sort of "I don't know what's going on" feeling... like I was lost because I was busy changing, and what was "normal" wasn't present. 

I've experienced this feeling many times using your subs, but I feel much less lost with LTU6. With LTU6,  it's like something is changing in the background, but the change is efficient and organized. Other subs felt like someone had disturbed a body of stagnant water to the point that it became murky and over time everything would have to settle into its place.

[Shannon]

Two times during this cycle, I felt a sort of "I don't know what's going on" feeling... like I was lost because I was busy changing, and what was "normal" wasn't present. 

I've experienced this feeling many times using your subs, but I feel much less lost with LTU6. With LTU6,  it's like something is changing in the background, but the change is efficient and organized. Other subs felt like someone had disturbed a body of stagnant water to the point that it became murky and over time everything would have to settle into its place.

In my case, this is happening because the new scripting methods are achieving access to and changing parts of my subconscious that previously were not cooperative.  That, and the changes have been so fast, so profound and so numerous that it left me feeling that way for a period of hours on each day.

[Shannon]

Day 1 of Cycle 2.

Last couple of days have been hard for me.  Yesterday I was overcome with nausea and a headache most of the day.  I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something, or it's the barometric pressure swings, or I'm resisting LTUv6 but I haven't had headaches like these in a LONG time.  These feel like clods of achey goodness in my head.  Not super painful, maybe a 3-4 out of 10, but enough to make me have a hard time focusing.  And nausea all the time is not my usual.  Yesterday I took an ibuprofen because I didn't want GPR to have any chance to interfere with LTU6 and potentially make me even MORE tired.  It never completely removed the headache, but made it bearable.  Last night, GF noticed I was radiating a lot of heat.  That could be me coming down with something, or me projecting the DRS, since last night was night 1 back on for cycle 2.

So yesterday was basically a wash and today hasn't been much better, because of that and because I have to drive all over the place all day to take care of day to day stuff.

Not having fun, but I can tell you, if this is resistance, we gonna double down.  Because if this is resistance, it means that this program is so powerful that it's breached my subconscious ability to resist as it has in the past, and we are basically facing fears that are root/core level fears.  And the last time I did that was in 2006 when I went in for chemo and they came at me with needles all day every day for months on end.  I had a deathly fear of hypodermic needles penetrating my flesh, and it was so bad that I would feel nauseous and eventually pass out if I was sitting or standing when I had the needle inserted.  I had to lay down to have a shot or have a needle inserted to prevent me from passing out.

But that nausea felt similar.  Hmmm.  

I don't know what's going on, but I do know that based on my dreams lately, this program is definitely pushing me into "unknown territory".  It is powerful enough to overcome my resistance to fear of the unknown, and for the first time in I don't know how long, the "I feel lost, I don't know how to handle this" is coming up.  It's not always fun to go through, but it's very impressive and it means that finally, FINALLY, I have a way to make subs that will make progress that I couldn't make before.  I'm sure this will be the case for a lot of people who were stuck previously as well.

The headache and nausea is a lot less today than yesterday.  And given how smooth this program feels otherwise, if this is resistance I have to say it's pretty amazing how powerful the program is to make it this bearable.

[KingDavid93]

Day 1 of Cycle 2.

Last couple of days have been hard for me.  Yesterday I was overcome with nausea and a headache most of the day.  I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something, or it's the barometric pressure swings, or I'm resisting LTUv6 but I haven't had headaches like these in a LONG time.  These feel like clods of achey goodness in my head.  Not super painful, maybe a 3-4 out of 10, but enough to make me have a hard time focusing.  And nausea all the time is not my usual.  Yesterday I took an ibuprofen because I didn't want GPR to have any chance to interfere with LTU6 and potentially make me even MORE tired.  It never completely removed the headache, but made it bearable.  Last night, GF noticed I was radiating a lot of heat.  That could be me coming down with something, or me projecting the DRS, since last night was night 1 back on for cycle 2.

So yesterday was basically a wash and today hasn't been much better, because of that and because I have to drive all over the place all day to take care of day to day stuff.

Not having fun, but I can tell you, if this is resistance, we gonna double down.  Because if this is resistance, it means that this program is so powerful that it's breached my subconscious ability to resist as it has in the past, and we are basically facing fears that are root/core level fears.  And the last time I did that was in 2006 when I went in for chemo and they came at me with needles all day every day for months on end.  I had a deathly fear of hypodermic needles penetrating my flesh, and it was so bad that I would feel nauseous and eventually pass out if I was sitting or standing when I had the needle inserted.  I had to lay down to have a shot or have a needle inserted to prevent me from passing out.

But that nausea felt similar.  Hmmm.  

I don't know what's going on, but I do know that based on my dreams lately, this program is definitely pushing me into "unknown territory".  It is powerful enough to overcome my resistance to fear of the unknown, and for the first time in I don't know how long, the "I feel lost, I don't know how to handle this" is coming up.  It's not always fun to go through, but it's very impressive and it means that finally, FINALLY, I have a way to make subs that will make progress that I couldn't make before.  I'm sure this will be the case for a lot of people who were stuck previously as well.

The headache and nausea is a lot less today than yesterday.  And given how smooth this program feels otherwise, if this is resistance I have to say it's pretty amazing how powerful the program is to make it this bearable.

Hi @Shannon 

Out of curiosity are you still playing the program the same way you always have been playing it (ultrasonic at 13/15 on Android)? 

And I’ve been on it about 4 days now and I also feel the "I feel lost, I don't know how to handle this" feeling- I feel with direction kind of like I’m in limbo 

What exactly does that mean?

[FluffyBunny]

Yesterday I was tired enough that I had to rely on caffeine to stay functional and get my allotted work done for the day.  I only achieved my minimum goal, but given how stupid ridiculous this program is to build without the help of some software I have not yet created, I was really glad to be able to just achieve the minimums I set for myself.  Day before yesterday I only achieved about 60% of those minimums.  This program is definitely using a lot of energy mentally to do what it's doing.

Last night was our first night off for Cycle 1.  I played 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, but GF just ignored it and laid there awake for probably more than an hour.  I fell asleep after about 45 minutes of listening to see if she would fall asleep.  It really annoys me when she does that.  I see I have to rebuild the damned sleep aid again, for the 9th time, trying to get her to execute.  She executes unless her subconscious is nervous, and during LTU6 she has been nervous a lot because of how demanding the program is.  At least this time, I know how to build it with a major power increase; the new scripting methods and Platinum Lake were not in use when I built Tranquilizer B.

She and one of my other testers are extreme pains in my ass when it comes to getting them to execute the sleep induction programs.  I know I will get there, but when am I going to have time to build a damned upgrade?

Anyway, enough ranting.  I woke up this morning feeling like I felt right before I went to bed last night: exhausted.  I did not want to get up.  GF has this little inside joke with me where she tells me she's hungry by saying, "Hung-ga-ree-ree!"  That's her way of telling me, "Hey, get up, I wanna eat."  I was not ready to get up, but I did.  Had breakfast, and now my eyes feel like they're melting out of my head because my body is focused on digesting the food.  I can tell that LTU6 S1 is very busy making major changes in me at a lot of levels and in a lot of directions at once.  Two times during this cycle, I felt a sort of "I don't know what's going on" feeling... like I was lost because I was busy changing, and what was "normal" wasn't present.  There was only the shuffling and change  process.  Kind of like having all the employees of a large firm move everything in one company skyscraper to the skyscraper next door.  While they're in process, no work gets done and everything is in a chaotic state of change.  But the change will quickly result in something much better, that I can definitely feel.

During this cycle I have been noticing that I am becoming more patient.  Normally whenever I have to take a break during work to let my mind relax so I don't run out of energy, I play a video game for 20-30 minutes.  This work I am doing is so boring, tedious and mind-numbing that I can't just watch YouTube videos and learn stuff while I take that break; I have to play a game to let my brain fully relax.  So I decided to play Sniper Elite 4 again.  The frustration comes with this being the fourth controller in a row that has developed problems that will require that I replace it, and every one of them has done so within 3 months of owning it.  Usually within 2 weeks.

Previously, the first three all developed issues that would force the camera to pan up or pan left continuously.  This new controller, which my GF bought for me as a gift trying to make me happy a couple months ago, now has developed an issue where the left stick sticks in such a way that while I am playing, it will not let me stop running.  So if I run from one place to another, and let go of the left stick, it just keeps going.  This results in me running off cliffs, running through the bush into enemy camps, etc.  This of course frustrates me.  Not just that Sony puts out such garbage that 4 controllers in a row ($75 a pop) have been broken by normal usage (not thrown) within 2-8 weeks, but that the results get me killed in the game a lot.  

I actually stopped playing with my PlayStation for a long time before she got me this new controller because of this.  The previous 3 controllers made it impossible to aim to take a shot.  Now this one makes me run off cliffs and run straight into enemy camps, only to be gunned down.  Before LTU6s1, I would have to restrain myself from throwing the controller and then go outside and calm down for a while.  Now I am finding it much easier to stop before I get that upset, and calm down.

If anyone from Sony is reading this... I will not be buying a PlayStation 5.  As much as I don't like Microsoft, at least their controllers never gave me any issues.  The only reason I had to replace a Microsoft controller was because I would get frustrated when the game itself (I'm looking at you, World of Tanks) would screw up on a bug and get me killed.  I went to Sony because everyone told me how much better they were.  Get a PlayStation, they said.  It's so much better, they said.  Well only if you like being frustrated constantly and having to either waste your time requesting warranty replacement, or waste your money buying another one of their crappy controllers!  Forget it.  I'm going back to XBox when I buy another console.  Unless I buy myself a dedicated gaming computer.  But neither of those things is going to happen anytime soon, so I'm stuck with don't play, or waste my time on warranty requests or money on a new controller.

Screw you, Sony.

But yes, I'm much more patient when Sony screws up now.

I can tell today I am going to have to rely on caffeine to be productive.  My face feels odd, my eyes feel like they're melting, and I am feeling like I haven't slept in almost 24 hours.  I've been awake for just about 3 hours now.  Maybe less.  I can't afford to sleep more today, since I have to keep going on this job or it will never get done... what I am doing now used to take me 1-2 hours.  Now it takes me 32 hours.  Thanks, Platinum Lake.  /sarcasm

Anyway... enough of my complainery.  Time to go inject some caffeine into my brain and get back to work.  I can't wait until the software I am designing right now is finished.  It will be able to do this 32 hours worth of work in about 1 second.  The only issue I have is... I haven't written code in about 10 years, and the language I use has changed a lot in that time.  I have to re-learn it.  And who has time?  By the time I'm done with my day's minimum work, I'm shot.  If I can even make it to that point.  Sometimes I wish I could just stop using subliminals for a while and focus on work, but this isn't just about me.  I have to consider what GF needs also.

So in summary, LTUv6s1: Super powerful, making lots of good changes quickly, wearing me out in the process.  Right when I most need to have energy.  Day 1 off, this thing is going full steam ahead.  Just wow.

Now where did I put that Mio Energy?

Is it ok to consume caffeine while running LTU? i usually have a like 500ml of black tea in the morning .

[fab10]

Is it ok to consume caffeine while running LTU?

From the program’s instructions 

it is not recommended that you use [caffeine] if you can avoid it.

[Shannon]

Day 1 of Cycle 2.

Last couple of days have been hard for me.  Yesterday I was overcome with nausea and a headache most of the day.  I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something, or it's the barometric pressure swings, or I'm resisting LTUv6 but I haven't had headaches like these in a LONG time.  These feel like clods of achey goodness in my head.  Not super painful, maybe a 3-4 out of 10, but enough to make me have a hard time focusing.  And nausea all the time is not my usual.  Yesterday I took an ibuprofen because I didn't want GPR to have any chance to interfere with LTU6 and potentially make me even MORE tired.  It never completely removed the headache, but made it bearable.  Last night, GF noticed I was radiating a lot of heat.  That could be me coming down with something, or me projecting the DRS, since last night was night 1 back on for cycle 2.

So yesterday was basically a wash and today hasn't been much better, because of that and because I have to drive all over the place all day to take care of day to day stuff.

Not having fun, but I can tell you, if this is resistance, we gonna double down.  Because if this is resistance, it means that this program is so powerful that it's breached my subconscious ability to resist as it has in the past, and we are basically facing fears that are root/core level fears.  And the last time I did that was in 2006 when I went in for chemo and they came at me with needles all day every day for months on end.  I had a deathly fear of hypodermic needles penetrating my flesh, and it was so bad that I would feel nauseous and eventually pass out if I was sitting or standing when I had the needle inserted.  I had to lay down to have a shot or have a needle inserted to prevent me from passing out.

But that nausea felt similar.  Hmmm.  

I don't know what's going on, but I do know that based on my dreams lately, this program is definitely pushing me into "unknown territory".  It is powerful enough to overcome my resistance to fear of the unknown, and for the first time in I don't know how long, the "I feel lost, I don't know how to handle this" is coming up.  It's not always fun to go through, but it's very impressive and it means that finally, FINALLY, I have a way to make subs that will make progress that I couldn't make before.  I'm sure this will be the case for a lot of people who were stuck previously as well.

The headache and nausea is a lot less today than yesterday.  And given how smooth this program feels otherwise, if this is resistance I have to say it's pretty amazing how powerful the program is to make it this bearable.

Hi @Shannon 

Out of curiosity are you still playing the program the same way you always have been playing it (ultrasonic at 13/15 on Android)?

Yes.

And I’ve been on it about 4 days now and I also feel the "I feel lost, I don't know how to handle this" feeling- I feel with direction kind of like I’m in limbo 

What exactly does that mean?

It means the program is affecting you at the deepest levels, making changes to your most core self.  This was previously not possible because these parts for some reason seem to equate any change with literal death.  I think basically it comes down to they only know X, and everything else is "the unlimited unknown", which they apparently see as "nothing", which they conclude is "becoming nothing" or dying.  

In reality, what's happening is that when they are made to go outside what they know, they have no more point of reference, and must re-create that point of reference.  This is what causes the feeling of being lost.  It's the exact same thing that would happen if you joined the military as a high school kid and felt completely lost in basic training, because everything was new to you.  Or pretty much anything to which you are new.  Your first semester away from home at college, etc.

You just need to have enough time to create a new point of reference that is positive, instead of tne negative one that you had before.  Wen that happens, and it will, that feeling will go away.

[Shannon]

Yesterday I was tired enough that I had to rely on caffeine to stay functional and get my allotted work done for the day.  I only achieved my minimum goal, but given how stupid ridiculous this program is to build without the help of some software I have not yet created, I was really glad to be able to just achieve the minimums I set for myself.  Day before yesterday I only achieved about 60% of those minimums.  This program is definitely using a lot of energy mentally to do what it's doing.

Last night was our first night off for Cycle 1.  I played 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, but GF just ignored it and laid there awake for probably more than an hour.  I fell asleep after about 45 minutes of listening to see if she would fall asleep.  It really annoys me when she does that.  I see I have to rebuild the damned sleep aid again, for the 9th time, trying to get her to execute.  She executes unless her subconscious is nervous, and during LTU6 she has been nervous a lot because of how demanding the program is.  At least this time, I know how to build it with a major power increase; the new scripting methods and Platinum Lake were not in use when I built Tranquilizer B.

She and one of my other testers are extreme pains in my ass when it comes to getting them to execute the sleep induction programs.  I know I will get there, but when am I going to have time to build a damned upgrade?

Anyway, enough ranting.  I woke up this morning feeling like I felt right before I went to bed last night: exhausted.  I did not want to get up.  GF has this little inside joke with me where she tells me she's hungry by saying, "Hung-ga-ree-ree!"  That's her way of telling me, "Hey, get up, I wanna eat."  I was not ready to get up, but I did.  Had breakfast, and now my eyes feel like they're melting out of my head because my body is focused on digesting the food.  I can tell that LTU6 S1 is very busy making major changes in me at a lot of levels and in a lot of directions at once.  Two times during this cycle, I felt a sort of "I don't know what's going on" feeling... like I was lost because I was busy changing, and what was "normal" wasn't present.  There was only the shuffling and change  process.  Kind of like having all the employees of a large firm move everything in one company skyscraper to the skyscraper next door.  While they're in process, no work gets done and everything is in a chaotic state of change.  But the change will quickly result in something much better, that I can definitely feel.

During this cycle I have been noticing that I am becoming more patient.  Normally whenever I have to take a break during work to let my mind relax so I don't run out of energy, I play a video game for 20-30 minutes.  This work I am doing is so boring, tedious and mind-numbing that I can't just watch YouTube videos and learn stuff while I take that break; I have to play a game to let my brain fully relax.  So I decided to play Sniper Elite 4 again.  The frustration comes with this being the fourth controller in a row that has developed problems that will require that I replace it, and every one of them has done so within 3 months of owning it.  Usually within 2 weeks.

Previously, the first three all developed issues that would force the camera to pan up or pan left continuously.  This new controller, which my GF bought for me as a gift trying to make me happy a couple months ago, now has developed an issue where the left stick sticks in such a way that while I am playing, it will not let me stop running.  So if I run from one place to another, and let go of the left stick, it just keeps going.  This results in me running off cliffs, running through the bush into enemy camps, etc.  This of course frustrates me.  Not just that Sony puts out such garbage that 4 controllers in a row ($75 a pop) have been broken by normal usage (not thrown) within 2-8 weeks, but that the results get me killed in the game a lot.  

I actually stopped playing with my PlayStation for a long time before she got me this new controller because of this.  The previous 3 controllers made it impossible to aim to take a shot.  Now this one makes me run off cliffs and run straight into enemy camps, only to be gunned down.  Before LTU6s1, I would have to restrain myself from throwing the controller and then go outside and calm down for a while.  Now I am finding it much easier to stop before I get that upset, and calm down.

If anyone from Sony is reading this... I will not be buying a PlayStation 5.  As much as I don't like Microsoft, at least their controllers never gave me any issues.  The only reason I had to replace a Microsoft controller was because I would get frustrated when the game itself (I'm looking at you, World of Tanks) would screw up on a bug and get me killed.  I went to Sony because everyone told me how much better they were.  Get a PlayStation, they said.  It's so much better, they said.  Well only if you like being frustrated constantly and having to either waste your time requesting warranty replacement, or waste your money buying another one of their crappy controllers!  Forget it.  I'm going back to XBox when I buy another console.  Unless I buy myself a dedicated gaming computer.  But neither of those things is going to happen anytime soon, so I'm stuck with don't play, or waste my time on warranty requests or money on a new controller.

Screw you, Sony.

But yes, I'm much more patient when Sony screws up now.

I can tell today I am going to have to rely on caffeine to be productive.  My face feels odd, my eyes feel like they're melting, and I am feeling like I haven't slept in almost 24 hours.  I've been awake for just about 3 hours now.  Maybe less.  I can't afford to sleep more today, since I have to keep going on this job or it will never get done... what I am doing now used to take me 1-2 hours.  Now it takes me 32 hours.  Thanks, Platinum Lake.  /sarcasm

Anyway... enough of my complainery.  Time to go inject some caffeine into my brain and get back to work.  I can't wait until the software I am designing right now is finished.  It will be able to do this 32 hours worth of work in about 1 second.  The only issue I have is... I haven't written code in about 10 years, and the language I use has changed a lot in that time.  I have to re-learn it.  And who has time?  By the time I'm done with my day's minimum work, I'm shot.  If I can even make it to that point.  Sometimes I wish I could just stop using subliminals for a while and focus on work, but this isn't just about me.  I have to consider what GF needs also.

So in summary, LTUv6s1: Super powerful, making lots of good changes quickly, wearing me out in the process.  Right when I most need to have energy.  Day 1 off, this thing is going full steam ahead.  Just wow.

Now where did I put that Mio Energy?

Is it ok to consume caffeine while running LTU? i usually have a like 500ml of black tea in the morning .

As fab10 pointed out, you shouldn't ingest caffeine if you can avoid it.  Unfortunately my  choices have been pretty limited lately: caffeine or sleep.  I need to work.  Fortunately, today both the headaches and nausea are gone, and I don't feel exhausted anymore.  But I decided to stop caffeine before this.

[Hanpan]

If facing the same issues with tiredness as you and most other people on LTU 6. Would playing the "awakener" for 5-10 periods throughout the day help? I've never tried the sub.