My first journal - DMSI 3.3.1 D

[EvolvingPhoenix]

LTU5 would provide a good base of healing and self esteem building for AM6 and DMSI to work with, AM6 would provide a good base of "alpha-ness" for DMSI to work with.

[Greenduck]

LTU5 would provide a good base of healing and self esteem building for AM6 and DMSI to work with, AM6 would provide a good base of "alpha-ness" for DMSI to work with.

Hey man you are going around giving advise about things you have no personal experience from. That isn’t helping anyone. I know the deal as I have been in your position and done the same thing a while back. This forum can be a real distraction to dealing with your own stuff. Do yourself a favor, get E3 and take a break from the forum for some time, that will do you good, I know it did for me.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Fair enough. My bad.

[Benjamin]

You beat me to it Greenduck. I was thinking the same and trying to think how to put it. But yes I agree with Greenduck.

[Sal]

That's difficult to say without knowing what you're looking for.

What I am looking for is not to be afraid anymore. No to bow dow  to people , just for them to like me and not to face their criticisms. I'm looking to be a man of conviction, a man that knows to do the right thing most of the times a man who is not afraid of doing something or wanting something. A man who will not take peoples shit. Knows what he wants and gets it. I remember ever since I was young I would want people to like me, I would take the blame for things and I would make them pity me. I still do that now, I get people to feel for me by telling them how bad it is for me and how people are doing wrong to me. I want the courage to deal with life by myself and earn the respect. The bad roots are very deep and my sub conscious or something is blocking me from becoming a better me. No matter how many books I read or videos I watch and advice given to me. I haven't changed in the last 5 years. I don't speak to people at work or in life in general. This is my first journal ever that I have done. I only really I mean really connected with one person and that was this girl and she had a boyfriend, I kept pushing her away at the start and when she finally went I couldn't take it, Considering I hardly speak with any, she was very special and I know that there is never the "one", but I am to weak to move on. Hence why I thought I would do DMSI. 
I don't know whether I am making progress, I think I am, but the progress is so small it is not noticeable and frustrating for me. 
Anyway basically I want to be a man and I want to deal with all the internal shit so I can enjoy life and have fun and be fun to  around. I have an idea of the type man I want to, they are all fictional characters. For example Hank Moody, Don Draper, Lucifer Morningstar. 
I dont want to pretend any more or fake it.
In a meeting just now at work I was being talked over and and when I had somehting to say, they were like yeah yeah yeah. It is so frustrating when I get talked to that way and when I do it, people dont like it but if I was to stand up for myself they would switch and play the victims so no matter what I do, I can't win.

E3 is part of LTU would it just be cheaper in the long run purchasing LTU and more efficient?

[Infinite]

I don't know which sub will be best for you, but I do believe that you will get all of the results that you're hoping for. I started listening to these subs less than a year ago, and all three surprised me in that I got many, many, many benefits that I wasn't expecting to get just based on the title alone. It's really hard for people to change, but these subs have made it easy for me. Not saying that I am now perfect, but the amount of growth and change from a year ago is definitely noticeable. You will get there

[Benjamin]

Well, any of those would be a good option. The first thing with all that other stuff is that it sounds like it's better to do something focusing on yourself instead of DMSI.

Getting women won't fix all those issues. I know because i've been with alot of women and it still didn't make me feel worthwhile.

AM6 is the classic program for growing into a strong man. But from what you've said i'd actually say either E3 or LTU would be better.

If you wanted to go the AM6 route then i'd recommend to do E3 first for an extended amount of time, if I knew and had E2/E3 before I did AM6 then that would have helped alot to heal things and help AM6 work better.

Or go with LTU which has E3 and many other things. It can help you feel like you are worthwhile, the issues with feeling like people don't like you, due to the healing, self esteem programming, letting go of the past and such. Obviously it's not focused in the same way on masculinity as AM6 but you can still get lalot of those benefits you're looking for from it.

Either way I still say DMSI and getting more and more sex may not be the best program for you to achieve those things you've mentioned, it's just a fun way to cover up those insecurities.. again I know from experience.

[Sal]

Thanks Benjamin. Reason why I did DMSI so I could raise my self esteem and self worth, just to get over someone. I still am struggling to let go of her. Even though she has moved on. If I was getting sex from this program it wouldnt be so bad. Yes you are right I would be covering up my issues and not dealing with them. But maybe I would be better able to handle life when someone walks away from me instead of behaving like a pussy. Yes my next choice is between AM6 and LTU5. I am however going to complete DMSI. I have 73 days left till I start the next sub. But yes LTU makes sense for a couple of runs and then on to AM6 and then hopefully DMSI should be complete by then and I can have some fun after the healing using DMSI. The target in 14 months will be to a better more secure confident man. Who is successful in everything.

[Sal]

Okay. So it is best to end DMSI and get my healing done first. There is just to much baggage that I am carrying around with me and it can he sensed by others around me. This why DMSI is not working as well on me as it should. Due to holidays at the start of July, I wont start LTU or E3 depending on my bank balance till the end of July. I will how ever finish DMSI then start the 35 day break I will post any outcomes of DMSi till then. I want to come back to DMSI eventually. I will how ever stay away from the forums as suggested and heal. I will when I come back post my results and progress when I come back of either LTU or E3. Thank you for all your guidance now its up to me to heal.

[Sal]

Day 60. Decided to do 9 on 1 off. Nothing major to report. Nothing I would say that is not normal from anyone. So I wont class those as DMSI effects.
Still emotional at times, tears come and go but not as harsh as it was at the start. 
The girl I really got a thing for messaged me because I didnt realise I liked one of her posts. She said I shouldn't have feelings for her and that I shouldn't be looking at her posts, she promptly blocked me and I deleted my account before messaging sonething out of anger. Don't remember. We are briefly messaging on whatsapp but I'm not holding out. Still find it difficult to move on. One of my goals was to increase my self-esteem  and self worth, which is my chose to do DMSI.

[Sal]

Reading another post on volume and how putting it up made a difference. I normally have my on 10/15. So last night i put it to 13/15 and it made a difference. I wasnt getting hungry or feeling tired. Just thought my brain was use to the sub.. im getting a lot more smiles from girls and guys. I will be more alert to see if there are any other indications of the DMSI effect.