My ASC Journal - Conquering anxiety & feeling extremely confident

[GreekGod22]

Day 37 

Getting more and more comfortable with playing the masked ocean surf track overnight, without bothering my sleep.
Been listening up to 18hrs / day over the past days
Frequency of dreams has increased, I now dream almost every night, don't remember much from them, lots of dreams involve my father in some way or another.

[GreekGod22]

Day 38

Still going. Not seeing big breakthroughs with ASC , although I haven't been much outside lately.
I am in a better place (mentally and emotionally), compared to how I was before ASC.
Seriously considering EPRHA3 as my next sub. I just looked at the program goals and identified a lot of them would be great for me. I selected them below.
I do have some hesitation to commit to it due to reading other EPRHA/E1-2-3 journals and not finding them very encouraging. It seems like it can be a stalling sub.
I want to run AM6/7 at some point. Yet I am not at the required level of mental, emotional balance. I reckon I do have some emotional damage/scars/insecurities that are holding me back a lot.

• I have mild social / generalized anxiety. I am high-functioning to a degree, but not thriving and not fully comfortable in social situations
  
• I have approach anxiety with women due to feeling unworthy / not good enough. Doing cold approach has not solved it.
  
• I have a low self image of myself
  
• I have a deep need for the validation / love / approval of others
  
• I don't consciously suffer from the past, I have no big traumas. But I have been physically beaten, my mother was an alcoholic throught my childhood.
  
• I used to be very shy, reserved, cautious, fearful guy. Still am to some degree. I have evolved a lot in this respect.
  

EPRHA3 Goals that would benefit me:

The goals of this program are:
[*]Guilt/shame/fear release
[*]Mental/emotional maturity improvement
[*]Self forgiveness
[*]Self Validation
[*]Self compassion and self consideration in all the ways that maximize your self-healing, self regeneration and emotional pain relief.
[*]Appreciate yourself in all the right ways to allow for maximum success in self regeneration and healing.Let go of and stop needing/seeking the approval of and permission of others for your self-healing and regenerating.
[*]Give yourself approval and permission to live the life that allows you to heal and regenerate, stay healed and regenerated, and allows you to be genuinely happy, and to genuinely heal and regenerate.
[*]Overcome The Victim Mentality (full script). - big one. Victim and self pity
[*]End and prevent self pity and any desire to engage in it.
[*]End and prevent self sabotage in self healing and regeneration.
[*]Positive Thinking, Positive Attitude (full program script).
[*]Allow for happiness, self healing and regenerating through genuine gratitude and appreciation.
[*]Make yourself worthy of your own self love, and allow you to be loving towards yourself.
[*]Like yourself, and if necessary, make yourself deserving of self liking and self love, and adjust yourself to be someone you can like and love.

[Zubrowka]

Day 38

Still going. Not seeing big breakthroughs with ASC , although I haven't been much outside lately.
I am in a better place (mentally and emotionally), compared to how I was before ASC.
Seriously considering EPRHA3 as my next sub. I just looked at the program goals and identified a lot of them would be great for me. I selected them below.
I do have some hesitation to commit to it due to reading other EPRHA/E1-2-3 journals and not finding them very encouraging. It seems like it can be a stalling sub.
I want to run AM6/7 at some point. Yet I am not at the required level of mental, emotional balance. I reckon I do have some emotional damage/scars/insecurities that are holding me back a lot.

• I have mild social / generalized anxiety. I am high-functioning to a degree, but not thriving and not fully comfortable in social situations
  
• I have approach anxiety with women due to feeling unworthy / not good enough. Doing cold approach has not solved it.
  
• I have a low self image of myself
  
• I have a deep need for the validation / love / approval of others
  
• I don't consciously suffer from the past, I have no big traumas. But I have been physically beaten, my mother was an alcoholic throught my childhood.
  
• I used to be very shy, reserved, cautious, fearful guy. Still am to some degree. I have evolved a lot in this respect.
  

EPRHA3 Goals that would benefit me:

The goals of this program are:
[*]Guilt/shame/fear release
[*]Mental/emotional maturity improvement
[*]Self forgiveness
[*]Self Validation
[*]Self compassion and self consideration in all the ways that maximize your self-healing, self regeneration and emotional pain relief.
[*]Appreciate yourself in all the right ways to allow for maximum success in self regeneration and healing.Let go of and stop needing/seeking the approval of and permission of others for your self-healing and regenerating.
[*]Give yourself approval and permission to live the life that allows you to heal and regenerate, stay healed and regenerated, and allows you to be genuinely happy, and to genuinely heal and regenerate.
[*]Overcome The Victim Mentality (full script). - big one. Victim and self pity
[*]End and prevent self pity and any desire to engage in it.
[*]End and prevent self sabotage in self healing and regeneration.
[*]Positive Thinking, Positive Attitude (full program script).
[*]Allow for happiness, self healing and regenerating through genuine gratitude and appreciation.
[*]Make yourself worthy of your own self love, and allow you to be loving towards yourself.
[*]Like yourself, and if necessary, make yourself deserving of self liking and self love, and adjust yourself to be someone you can like and love.

A reason why you aren’t convinced by the E3 journals is because i think healing in general takes time, and few are committed enough to go through with it. I have run LTU that contains E3 for about one year and the results have been slow and steady - most visible when you are able to compare your situation to how you felt before. So I don’t think E3 is a bad choice, you seem to have a feeling what you need, I say go for it and have patience with yourself.

[GreekGod22]

Days 39 - 40

These 2 days have been quiet. I am now under the influence of some medication, which does alter my state and influences neurotransmitter levels. Overall, I'm keeping a positive outlook on life.
Been breaking out of learned helplessness more and more, especially with regards to my health.
I have been playing mostly the masked track, but sometimes the ultrasonic too. I think the ultrasonic makes my breathing heavier, this is an odd effect.
I'm also doign Nofap, which gives me great emotional stability.
Tempted to take a risk and go on DMSI after ASC.
I have now realized once again, how important it is for a man to be on his purpose, to live life by his own design. I've been undecided and directionless for too long. Time to change that.


Wrote down what are my most important values in life:

1. being in great physical shape, having amazing energy levels and feeling euphoric.
   
2. Love, experiencing love, giving love. And quality social relationships.
   
3. Financial freedom
   

[GreekGod22]

Days 41 - 42

Honestly not sensing big changes from ASC  I am aware that I didn't follow the instructions in the beginning, but I did from Day 26 onwards. If the changes exist, they are very subtle.
I do find it easier to reframe my negative thinking and maintain optimism, so there's that. Last 2 weeks have been filled with positivity.
I also find myself less interested in wasting much time on social medial. I'm 10 days on Nofap, keeping up with my meditation rituals. Going through an online course in dating & personal development.

I remember reading a comment by @Shannon saying how ASC does not dissolve fear, it's not designed to. Perhaps being more confident is something my subconscious perceives as dangerous.


Subs to consider after ASC: EPRHA3, DMSI, OGSF, AM, OF

[GreekGod22]

Feeling a strong impulse to buy E3 and switch to it. I had such high hopes from ASC.

[Tholt]

Days 41 - 42

Honestly not sensing big changes from ASC  I am aware that I didn't follow the instructions in the beginning, but I did from Day 26 onwards. If the changes exist, they are very subtle.
I do find it easier to reframe my negative thinking and maintain optimism, so there's that. Last 2 weeks have been filled with positivity.
I also find myself less interested in wasting much time on social medial. I'm 10 days on Nofap, keeping up with my meditation rituals. Going through an online course in dating & personal development.

I remember reading a comment by @Shannon saying how ASC does not dissolve fear, it's not designed to. Perhaps being more confident is something my subconscious perceives as dangerous.


Subs to consider after ASC: EPRHA3, DMSI, OGSF, AM, OF

E3 definitely is the best choice  for long term emotional  healing. It has FRM and really works deeply at your emotions if you use it long term.

[GreekGod22]

@THolt I just purchased E3. It will be my next sub after ASC. I don't know why I'm not seeing massive changes with ASC, but I still trust IML so I took the risk and put my money on E3

[GreekGod22]

I have stopped listening to ASC. 42 days. I may come back to it in the future. Realized fear is holding me back a lot. On to EPHRA3  next.

[GreekGod22]

I'm back using Shannon subs. I started my 2nd run of ASC today.
What's different compared to 2020 me? My anxiety has been further reduced to almost eliminated. I don't identify anymore as an anxious person.
I still believe I could benefit from higher confidence, so that's why I am here running ASC again.

Curious if anyone else still running ASC in 2020 / 2021.