LTU5 - Laying the Foundation

[SaltyMeatballs]

@Shannon
I dont have a proper speaker atm so can only play through my phone speaker (Iphone6s) which i heard is not effective as it only plays monaural sound. Or do you think it should be fine?

[Shannon]

It is not as effective, but it works quite well regardless. It's all I use.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Sleep wasn’t great as I woke up multiple times during the night, I thought that im going to be tired for the rest of the day.

Quite the opposite…. Got up feeling fresh and motivated. Generally optimistic all day.

I think LTU is making me more conscious of my daily choices and their repercussions. Im more focused on the future and where my life is going. I guess im starting to take more responsibility for my actions.

Im spending way less time on the phone. I no longer enjoy playing video games. I no longer crave that stimulation. Instead im using the precious time I have to contemplate about the future, to read books and sometimes I just sit and do nothing like im meditating.

I have no clue as to what Im going to do after compulsory army training which ends in 5 months. I would hate to spend my days stuck in a 9-5 job till im 60+.

Ive decided to created a vision board of what I would like my life to look like. Ill try to look at it everyday before sleep and upon rising in the morning.

[SaltyMeatballs]

I keep procrastinating and not taking action on any vital skills I could be learning now such as coding/ business. I really want to be successful and earn lots of money but tbh im always half assing things and never work to its completion. Im great at starting but terrible at finishing anything. The resistance, self doubt and fear get the better of me.

[AriGold]

I am not sure it's "resistance, self doubt and fear".
To me the best way to beat procrastination is LTU5. It's something I have never felt before.

I always thought I need to be motivated to do stuff or to overcome resistance. But on LTU5, I am sometimes not motivated to do stuff and feel resistance to do the stuff, but I do it no matter what. It's like my mind is on resistance and don't want to, but my body is like "it is a task that has to be done" and I do it none the less.

So when I think about people who just naturally get things done, they won't tell you "you need to get motivated first" or "you need to get past resistance", they will tell you all the time "just do it" and that is how I often feel on LTU5. It is not all the time, sometimes I have really lazy days where I won't do much. But on certain days I can feel the energy that the people who "just get things done" feel all the time.

I'm not sure if it's helpful to you. I'm also not sure where it comes from, but if I had to put my finger on, I would guess it's the module "Overcome victim mentality". It lets me become the "actor" of my life and by that I mean the one who takes action of my life.

[SaltyMeatballs]

I am not sure it's "resistance, self doubt and fear".
To me the best way to beat procrastination is LTU5. It's something I have never felt before.

I always thought I need to be motivated to do stuff or to overcome resistance. But on LTU5, I am sometimes not motivated to do stuff and feel resistance to do the stuff, but I do it no matter what. It's like my mind is on resistance and don't want to, but my body is like "it is a task that has to be done" and I do it none the less.

So when I think about people who just naturally get things done, they won't tell you "you need to get motivated first" or "you need to get past resistance", they will tell you all the time "just do it" and that is how I often feel on LTU5. It is not all the time, sometimes I have really lazy days where I won't do much. But on certain days I can feel the energy that the people who "just get things done" feel all the time.

I'm not sure if it's helpful to you. I'm also not sure where it comes from, but if I had to put my finger on, I would guess it's the module "Overcome victim mentality". It lets me become the "actor" of my life and by that I mean the one who takes action of my life.

Thanks mate. Perhaps each persons subconscious is more or less resistant to each module in LTU5 depending on their own unique slither of psyhological demons. I have seen amazing results in my self esteem and emotional healing for example but very little progress with productivity. I must persist and see what happens.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Lately I had been feeling extremely stuck. Reflecting back on my past, all I could see was struggle, constant anxiety and failure. To distract myself been spending most of my off days compulsively watching porn, playing games and eating junk food, thus further exacerbating my state of despair and eventually spiraling into suicidal depression. For a number of weekends I was really thinking of hanging myself.

However, yesterday I decided to just sit on my couch and contemplate. It was extremely difficult because there was no stimulation or distraction, just me and my thoughts. I could feel negative energy concentrated in the abdominal region, and my breathing was very shallow. So I observed and eventually I began to feel a sense of calmness. My breathing returned back to normal and there was some space in my mind for something new to emerge. I thought to myself, well I cant change the past and all the decisions and actions that have led me to this present moment of being depressed. So asked myself, whats one simple thing I can do to move me into a positive direction? Hmm, I thought, ok.. Lets do 30 pushups… simple enough right? I did it and began to feel better. I then began to clean my flat. I listned to Joe Rogan podcast and gained new insights. I felt so much happier. I went to bed early this time.

Suddenly I understood the victim roles I've been playing such as blaming others and the universe for my misery. I had an epiphany that I am 100% responsible for my life. All the finger pointing and blaming had to be brought onto myself from now on. I am in control, and I can take small baby steps towards a positive future and my past didn’t have to dicate my future.

So yeah, feels like a major breakthrough and I believe LTU has allowed that to happen. Sure, I was aware of this concept of taking 100% responsibiliy before, but comprehension has many degrees so its not enough to just read something and accept it on blind faith. U need to contemplate and think about and prove to yourself. Will be interesting to see how my thoughts and daily actions change form now on. Im already feeling more postive about the future

[SaltyMeatballs]

Seems like luck was on my side today. Managed to find a decent folding knife which I then sold to my mate for €20.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Nearly 3 months into LTU. I feel mindfucked right now. I have lost touch with my old sense of self. It feels like ive had a personality change. I reflect back on my past, shortcomings and decisions and think to myself, I cant believe this is the person I am today. I feel extremely confused about what I want out of life and what my purpose is. The things I used to enjoy before I no longer desire doing. Despite the above, Im ok with being this way. I realise that there is a deep shift happening below the surface and that I need to accept and surrender to allow the necessary changes to take place.

[Benjamin]

Wow.. really sounds like you've had a big shift. It makes sense you might feel like that for a while if alot of your identity has been built on fear, insecurity, guilt, shame etc and you're clearing that out.

It's kind of like those old feelings even if damaging were so familiar and it can be unusual without them.

Sounds to me when it passes you'll be in a much better place.

[Zane]

Good, You are on right path.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Thank you for all the support and reassurance thus far.

Here are some other notes I've pulled out of my main journal...

My ego is completely confused about this new identity I'm currently constructing with LTU5. It certainly feels like a mindf*ck. The slow movement of tectonic plates is comparable to the deep subconscious changes taking place. Eventually the plates collide resulting in eruptions and so do I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. A "new me" is emerging. Past traumas, fears and insecurities bubbling up to the surface as I listen to ultrasonic during the day is a clear indication of this "tectonic movement"… the process of purification and growth into a more self actualised human being.

Sometimes, as I go about my day I often stop and think… "I cannot believe this is my life". I repeat that sentence several times in an attempt to understand. Sometimes I react positively accompanied with feelings of gratitude and love for myself, while at other times I feel like my ego is resisting and opening doors for negative emotions such as fear and sadness to flow in. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Such questions both intrigue and frighten me because I'm curious to know but at the same time I'm frightened that ill be on my death bed without having answered them.

I'm more willing to confront my fears and step outside my comfort zone. The idea of backpacking for a year came to mind 1-2 months into LTU and is one such example of taking a big leap into the unknown. A risky adventure with many obstacles but also a catalyst for personal growth to say the least. I certainly have the financial means to make it happen but will my lower self have the guts to actually pull it off? Moreover, running a full marathon which I am planning with my friend in a month is another example of LTU at work, pushing me out of my comfort zone. It isn't merely a test of physical endurance as much as it is psychological. Seeing how far I can push myself is what I'm curious about the most.

Another positive... television, gaming and other pleasure inducing activities no longer seem to provide me with that psychological crutch I used to enjoy. I mentioned this before but wasn't totally sure if it was only a one timer. Alternatively I'm choosing to engage in healthier and more productive activities such as reading, exercise and social interaction. One particular exception is pornography use... My main outlet for sexual urges, lately I've been wondering how to transform these urges into motivation for getting a girlfriend.

Speaking of relationships I recently had an insight which shed light on my difficulties with public pickup. Last summer me and my friend decided to do as many approaches as possible and I think I ended up with just over 200 in a time frame of about 2 months. I manged to obtain many phone numbers and even pulling off a few instant dates but that is all. I realise now that underneath all that manipulation and deception directed towards the girls I was trying to "pickup" (aided by techniques learned through books and online courses), my foundation was weak and fairly noticeable; poor self esteem and extremely low confidence. Subconsciously they were able to quickly notice my flaws no matter how hard I tried to hide them and it just perpetuated my neediness towards them which further dissuaded them from interacting with me. I was a typical beta male. Perhaps I only need to practice and do more approaches I thought... Inevitably I would have ended up wasting so much time and energy. The root/core issues weren't being addressed. And here is LTU doing exactly that, instilling positive beliefs and building my self-esteem so I can only expect better results when I do pickup again.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Past 2 days have felt exhausting, even with adequate sleep, I find usual tasks difficult.

Been playing ultrasonic format with Iphone, sometimes during the day of 2-4 extra cycles.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Wow @Shannon I've never experienced so much resistance. This is overwhelming. I'm failing to execute something. Im wondering if I should reduce the loops or take a week off or something.

The resistance is so strong I spent all of yesterday contemplating suicide. Even went as far as looking up best methods.

Yet I'm pleased with the results to far and it's only a matter of time I guess before I execute everything with little resistance and experience the full benefits of the the program.

I'm playing ultrasonic through my iPhone 6s speaker. The volume is generally 60-70% of maximum, I can consciously hear it. I think I should reduce the volume or switch the masked.