Well well well...it's been a long time since I've done a journal. So in the words of the Joker: "Here...we...go...!"
I decided it was time to report on this program in particular.
Some of my observations recorded on the program may now apparently be useful, given the discussion in Shannon's poll thread.
I am 95 days into the program at this point.
In an overarching sense...I can understand some of the disappointment on one hand...HOWEVER...we have to remember this program's goal is very lofty compared to many guy's starting points. It only stands to reason such a goal will take time to ascend to. There is a lot of work to be done inside many to have this goal become normal reality it would appear. My comments below may show such a phenomenon even in myself to back up this belief.
That said, in July, something extremely scarring and horrid happened to me that has deeply hamstrung my ability to deal with the "market" if you will, to do with this program. My starting point was already crippled enough with them, it didn't need any more help... But, such is life. Have to try to push forward however one can...
Due to what happened, I have tried to focus on internal benefits in my writings, knowing that likely I have a lot of them to look forward to before any such external benefits occurred anyway, so it was logical to assume they'd be coming first regardless. So I have looked at things so far as internally-focused to try to still keep a positive spin on things going forward to continue motivation.
All throughout my loops on this run, I have attempted to have a picture of a woman I know visible in my line of sight, to test whether that does anything at all as there has been conjecture here that something can occur in such a case which was intriguing. So please view all listening reports with that picture in mind.
First day of listening I had a lot of fullness in the head and a very heavy head feeling, this is usual starting to listen to a new program. I felt a small bit of heat during the loops as well, not much on first day.
Days 2-4 I felt some sudden hits of intense tiredness during loops, and some spikes of like a sickish feeling (this could be related to what happened I wrote above though, it's really affected me...). Some heat sensations becoming more common now, and intense, uh, "detox" if you get me. Heh...Also noted some rare instances of feelings of sudden falling or going up and down rapidly during listening too. Heavy head feelings during and after loops continue. Heat sensations during loops becoming a bit more common.
Day 5-6 More heat sensations during listening sessions.
Day 7 FIRST dream about a female on this program I can recall. She's the centrepiece to things in July too. She's also the subject of the picture being used. I was at an outside event, lots of people, and I was there and looking for her to meet up with her, I don't think I found her. I didn't have a bad or negative connotation to the dream, just couldn't find her before I woke possibly. Can't recall anything else in the dream of relevance.Heat sensations popping up during listening, and today, first time on sub, awhile after listening during the day, even while all alone for all of them, I got heat sensations several times. That was odd, was it DMSI or DRS? I'm not sure but noted it. I think they can both produce that heat sensation so it's hard for me to differentiate now with them both integrated so I just note it and when in the loop if it's during listening, and move on.
Day 8 Heat sensations started up just before I started to listen to loops, haha. Got a bunch throughout the rest of the loops. It's weird how sometimes I feel nothing for one loop or several loops, then poof a bunch appear. It isn't exact or guaranteed even while listening to the loops, strangely. I track the exact minutes of each heat sensation in case that may be relevant due to what the script is saying in those moments...?
Day 9-13 Went for haircut with usual stylist today. A woman, quite physically attractive to me. Technically, the first actual time DMSI V5.1 "fired it's guns in anger" because what happened in July has greatly inhibited me, sadly...Anyway, I rest my elbows on the arm rests, they end up protruding out to the sides with this certain chair, to give you an image. We've known each other for a long time. She usually does the first two things, but not the third so I thought it was amusing and unusual enough to remember. She usually lightly presses her groin against my elbows, kinda straddling it, and does the same light press with her breasts against the back of my head by standing super close behind me when finishing up my cut at the end when you both look in the mirror to check it all. This time though, she bumped my elbows after each groin press with her buttocks, both sides, like somewhat firmly. Her buttocks are her best feature and she knows it 100%. She's also married, so there's that, lol. Still though, never literally hit me with her best feature before. The earlier stuff she's done as I've said, but possibly stepped it up here with that. First experience in the field with the program with this one. On X4A I noticed slow and deep audible breathing from her, (another female on X4A showed the same breathing behaviour, I have detailed offline journals for X4 but will keep this to DMSI, obviously). This time on DMSI, she was a bit spaced out or distant in some way, not yapping that much and seeming distracted or quieter than usual. Could be random occurrence but usually she's more talkative for sure.
I'll continue on posting here the rest of the run up to today. I didn't want my post to get too long so I've keep this to the first two weeks.
I decided it was time to report on this program in particular.
Some of my observations recorded on the program may now apparently be useful, given the discussion in Shannon's poll thread.
I am 95 days into the program at this point.
In an overarching sense...I can understand some of the disappointment on one hand...HOWEVER...we have to remember this program's goal is very lofty compared to many guy's starting points. It only stands to reason such a goal will take time to ascend to. There is a lot of work to be done inside many to have this goal become normal reality it would appear. My comments below may show such a phenomenon even in myself to back up this belief.
That said, in July, something extremely scarring and horrid happened to me that has deeply hamstrung my ability to deal with the "market" if you will, to do with this program. My starting point was already crippled enough with them, it didn't need any more help... But, such is life. Have to try to push forward however one can...
Due to what happened, I have tried to focus on internal benefits in my writings, knowing that likely I have a lot of them to look forward to before any such external benefits occurred anyway, so it was logical to assume they'd be coming first regardless. So I have looked at things so far as internally-focused to try to still keep a positive spin on things going forward to continue motivation.
All throughout my loops on this run, I have attempted to have a picture of a woman I know visible in my line of sight, to test whether that does anything at all as there has been conjecture here that something can occur in such a case which was intriguing. So please view all listening reports with that picture in mind.
First day of listening I had a lot of fullness in the head and a very heavy head feeling, this is usual starting to listen to a new program. I felt a small bit of heat during the loops as well, not much on first day.
Days 2-4 I felt some sudden hits of intense tiredness during loops, and some spikes of like a sickish feeling (this could be related to what happened I wrote above though, it's really affected me...). Some heat sensations becoming more common now, and intense, uh, "detox" if you get me. Heh...Also noted some rare instances of feelings of sudden falling or going up and down rapidly during listening too. Heavy head feelings during and after loops continue. Heat sensations during loops becoming a bit more common.
Day 5-6 More heat sensations during listening sessions.
Day 7 FIRST dream about a female on this program I can recall. She's the centrepiece to things in July too. She's also the subject of the picture being used. I was at an outside event, lots of people, and I was there and looking for her to meet up with her, I don't think I found her. I didn't have a bad or negative connotation to the dream, just couldn't find her before I woke possibly. Can't recall anything else in the dream of relevance.Heat sensations popping up during listening, and today, first time on sub, awhile after listening during the day, even while all alone for all of them, I got heat sensations several times. That was odd, was it DMSI or DRS? I'm not sure but noted it. I think they can both produce that heat sensation so it's hard for me to differentiate now with them both integrated so I just note it and when in the loop if it's during listening, and move on.
Day 8 Heat sensations started up just before I started to listen to loops, haha. Got a bunch throughout the rest of the loops. It's weird how sometimes I feel nothing for one loop or several loops, then poof a bunch appear. It isn't exact or guaranteed even while listening to the loops, strangely. I track the exact minutes of each heat sensation in case that may be relevant due to what the script is saying in those moments...?
Day 9-13 Went for haircut with usual stylist today. A woman, quite physically attractive to me. Technically, the first actual time DMSI V5.1 "fired it's guns in anger" because what happened in July has greatly inhibited me, sadly...Anyway, I rest my elbows on the arm rests, they end up protruding out to the sides with this certain chair, to give you an image. We've known each other for a long time. She usually does the first two things, but not the third so I thought it was amusing and unusual enough to remember. She usually lightly presses her groin against my elbows, kinda straddling it, and does the same light press with her breasts against the back of my head by standing super close behind me when finishing up my cut at the end when you both look in the mirror to check it all. This time though, she bumped my elbows after each groin press with her buttocks, both sides, like somewhat firmly. Her buttocks are her best feature and she knows it 100%. She's also married, so there's that, lol. Still though, never literally hit me with her best feature before. The earlier stuff she's done as I've said, but possibly stepped it up here with that. First experience in the field with the program with this one. On X4A I noticed slow and deep audible breathing from her, (another female on X4A showed the same breathing behaviour, I have detailed offline journals for X4 but will keep this to DMSI, obviously). This time on DMSI, she was a bit spaced out or distant in some way, not yapping that much and seeming distracted or quieter than usual. Could be random occurrence but usually she's more talkative for sure.
I'll continue on posting here the rest of the run up to today. I didn't want my post to get too long so I've keep this to the first two weeks.
![[Image: Catman-being-cuddled.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/L51HH2Sx/Catman-being-cuddled.png)
