Have you no shame? - OGSF 5G | EPRHA 2.0

[SargeMaximus]

I think its also interesting how these understandings where both parties feel good about a conflict can be reached by very openly seeking to understand, be understood, and relate. Because I used to just have this attitude that I have to hold on to my rights, my borders, to not get stepped on, be alpha, and all that. All that gets you is separation and a stalemate where you might get what you want, but neither party really feels good about it. There is the conflict, but it seems if this mutual understanding can be reached and I'm at ease, then it might turn out there's another option, or that the already existing options aren't so bad after all.

Interesting. I'm realizing/working with this now as well and I agree, being "alpha" about stuff is just a stalemate, and not particularly pleasant.

I had this at the store just now. Was feeling really bottled up around the cashier woman (she wasn't even attractive it was just a weird vibe, not anxiety) and thought I should make small talk but the found myself resisting that strongly and saying to myself "no! She hasn't blah blah blah" it was kind of weird. I started feeling warm and uncomfortable, almost like I owed her something, yet when I left, I had the strong feeling that I left some groceries behind, almost like she stole them.

It was a weird experience, and I'm not sure how to reconcile this.

Have you ever had this? When there's a conflict but you're not sure what it is or how to solve it in a mutually beneficial way?