6G bonanza J & RM vol. 2 (OGSF v3)

[Have at ye]

OGSF v3, Day 1/93
Alrighty, let's get this party started.
Listened to my first loop, not experiencing much in the way of any wonky sensations but this could change soon. I do feel a slight tightness in my chest, but who knows. Feeling calm and alert.
Note: J & RM stands for Journalings and Random Musings

[ncbeareatingman]

Congrats on your OGSF v3 Voyage just beginning!! More Empowerment to Ya!!

[Have at ye]

Thank you, friend! All the best to you as well!

[Have at ye]

So far, so good... I guess? I'm getting tiny hints of wonky sensations here and there, in the usual spots, feeling there *could* be a headache incoming, but it's not developing, feeling very calm and alert; compared to OSC lately, I'm feeling somewhat detached from negative emotions and such, and my eudaimonia is back. A bit of an IDGAF feeling going on there which is a welcome change from feeling angry and misanthropic. So far, I'm not getting sleepy or feeling exhausted (as I did back on OSC) but we'll see.

My current operating theory is that OSC used for an extended period of time started digging in deep, in order to make my self-confidence take root so to speak, and hit on trauma/fear, and thus required an inordinate amount of psychomachia to keep progressing.

I'm not even worried about hitting up seriously disturbing/traumatic memories/experiences and such, as I'm, like, "dude, I've been through all that shite and am still standing, lol". Something like that.

Meeting up with pianist chick for a little bit of singing on the morrow, meeting up with dat-ass chick on Friday and then we're gonna pretty much spend the entire weekend together, as well with some other Ex-IN buddies and buddettes.

[Have at ye]

Whoo boy, I did get wonky sensations of the kind I hadn't got yet, haha. That's new. It was like a pulling inward sensation, not really painful, but not exactly pleasant either. Then I took a nap and had wonky dreams which were not scary but disturbed me a bit anyway. But otherwise I'm feeling pretty fine. I'm getting the occasional pang of physical pain which passes quite quickly, fortunately.

Sang for an hour with pianist chick, I'm not too pleased with my vocal form today but I did slack on practicing this past week because I wasn't really feeling up to it, and I was on, like, two hours of sleep. Gonna have to do better in the future! Also, she's cute and I like her, she'll make a good subject of scientific observation.

I believe this OGSF v3 thing is going to work the way I want it to, just gotta stick with it.

All in all, feeling pretty good.

[Have at ye]

OGSF v3, Day 2/93

I'm quite the sleepyhead and I could sleep a ton. I'm getting lots of dreams and they are quite wonky, a lot of them seem to be related to years of health and good fortune I lost due to my crazy family. Otherwise feeling pretty good, a little bit distanced, I guess you could call it? But very calm, which is a nice change of pace. Not feeling too sociable, though.

Getting some wonky sensations in the usual spots, and moments of increased heart-rate. The sensations are not entirely unpleasant.

Going on a little trip today, so that'll be three days of break from EMS training.

[Have at ye]

I cancelled the trip because I didn't feel like hanging out with these particular people for three days and I've got stuff to do here. I doubt there'd be sexy times so I honestly fail to see the point, lol.

I'm feeling relatively good, but still hating on people and my life a bit but with less of a negative emotional charge. My Internet is acting up today which is preventing me from working and I've got no idea how to fix it, lol. Gonna have to call up my crazy Brother for assistance.

I ordered a dietary suplement for testo boost and estrogen reduction, hopefully it'll work well because it cost a bunch. The ingredients do seem to be good, so we'll see.

[Have at ye]

OGSF v3, Day 3/93

Feeling pretty good. Had dreams and such again, I don't remember most of them but I felt pretty good upon waking up. I do need about and hour to get my bearings, so to speak, upon waking, to become fully alert. Physical exercise helps with this too.

I get hints of anger but funnily enough it's mostly occurring whenever I do my EMS training, lol. Mayhap I'm angry at myself for forcing myself towards such physical exertion, I dunno, haha.

The lack of DRS is starting to become somewhat apparent. It doesn't feel like I'm getting attacked constantly by whomever, but f. in. my crazy mum is starting to get uppity again. She was at her worst while I was using programs with the grounding shield, though. Eh, we'll see.

I've decided to kick up my diet up a notch because I'm becoming frustrated that I'm not really losing weight despite a regular training regimen. I do feel big and strong, though, so I'll take it - but the idea was to become a fine piece of man-ass, lol. My dietary habits seem to be changing, though - I'm mostly drawn to high-protein foods now.

Starting on that dietary supplement today. Gonna have to supplement magnesium + some sort of multivitamin as well, because I'm running out.

Not feeling very socieable nor horny, which is a change from when I was running OSC, especially for the first month.

Getting the occasional hints of wonky sensations here and there, but they're relatively few and far between. It's like the "heavy shit" that was being generated f. in. while I was running OSC is getting "vacuumed out". Probably the guilt/shame/fear removal mods doing their thing.

[Have at ye]

Day 3/93 continued

So I was feeling pretty good, went for breakfast and had some pretty disturbing stuff come up and I had to go and sleep it off and now I'm feeling better.

I think a lot of OSC has stuck, judging by my singing practice today, I felt pretty relaxed and confident even though my practicing has been rather haphazard this past week. No angry-boi, no attacks, smooth sailing. Working on money-notes, hehe. Gonna go and practice tomorrow some more.

Glad I did not go to that EX-IN gathering, it'd have been a waste of my time TBH, despite dat-ass chick's ass. She actually wants something, she's got my number, lol.

I get moments of being angry at people, and maybe even quite disdainful, but eh, people deserve it, lol. I think the self-esteem programming is kicking in as well.