Inspiration for the title - Unlocking my full expression of my desires, what I want, my goals, what I want do to and move towards, the actions I want to take but haven't been taking.. which are covered up with this fucking guilt, shame, fear, trauma, baggage.
I will split this into 2 posts again, first what lead me to OGSF and then my observations from listening.
First after my back and forth in my PM journal about which way to go, I asked my higher self when I went to bed last night. PM or OGSF v3, and should I start it tonight? I got several points of guidance, evidence for OGSF coming up. Some of it was interesting.
-Repeating over and over in my head "overcoming, guilt, shame and fear" for several minutes.
-I had an urge to look out my window. In the distance there was a light that I focused on and what come to mind is if that light is my goal, if I was walking towards it with masculinity, i'm pushing really hard but carrying all these really heavy sacks slowing my down which represent fear. But instead with OGSF i'm dropping the sacks so I can then move forward freely.
-A strong feeling to start OGSF now.
-I was directed to my book shelf, the first book I come across was bioenergetics which I feel represents either somatic trauma work, or just working on trauma in general, hence OGSF. It didn't fully resonate but the second book very much did. The second book I come across was "The journey from abandonment to healing" which strongly speaks to OGSF and very much my core issue, abandonment.
-I could keep building up masculinity, strength, physique etc by itself (obviously I plan to do this either way) then no matter how much strength, masculinity, fighting ability etc I build, thinking maybe one day i'll be 'strong enough' to fight through this fear, still the deeper fear will hold me back. HOWEVER, what if dealing with this fear, abandonment, rejection, terror, fear, trauma then i'm now free to build this strength, masculinity etc on a much more strong and grounded foundation?
-It doesn't matter how much more muscle I put on, or get stronger this fear of girls will still shut me down like a little baby, like a pussy unless I deal with the fear.
A few other things but all of the guidance I got pointed towards OGSF, I laid there a bit as I had fear over just pressing play but eventually I did. Internally I said to myself "I admit that i'm scared to use OGSF, but i'm going to start anyway."
I will split this into 2 posts again, first what lead me to OGSF and then my observations from listening.
First after my back and forth in my PM journal about which way to go, I asked my higher self when I went to bed last night. PM or OGSF v3, and should I start it tonight? I got several points of guidance, evidence for OGSF coming up. Some of it was interesting.
-Repeating over and over in my head "overcoming, guilt, shame and fear" for several minutes.
-I had an urge to look out my window. In the distance there was a light that I focused on and what come to mind is if that light is my goal, if I was walking towards it with masculinity, i'm pushing really hard but carrying all these really heavy sacks slowing my down which represent fear. But instead with OGSF i'm dropping the sacks so I can then move forward freely.
-A strong feeling to start OGSF now.
-I was directed to my book shelf, the first book I come across was bioenergetics which I feel represents either somatic trauma work, or just working on trauma in general, hence OGSF. It didn't fully resonate but the second book very much did. The second book I come across was "The journey from abandonment to healing" which strongly speaks to OGSF and very much my core issue, abandonment.
-I could keep building up masculinity, strength, physique etc by itself (obviously I plan to do this either way) then no matter how much strength, masculinity, fighting ability etc I build, thinking maybe one day i'll be 'strong enough' to fight through this fear, still the deeper fear will hold me back. HOWEVER, what if dealing with this fear, abandonment, rejection, terror, fear, trauma then i'm now free to build this strength, masculinity etc on a much more strong and grounded foundation?
-It doesn't matter how much more muscle I put on, or get stronger this fear of girls will still shut me down like a little baby, like a pussy unless I deal with the fear.
A few other things but all of the guidance I got pointed towards OGSF, I laid there a bit as I had fear over just pressing play but eventually I did. Internally I said to myself "I admit that i'm scared to use OGSF, but i'm going to start anyway."