EP's DMSI Journal

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So I just switched to DMSI. It's been about a week or two off of UMS, which I was using with less and less frequency. 

Not sure how long it'll take to notice results from this program, but I do think I'm feeling something because I feel energy building up in a wierd way. Could be psychological though. Not masturbating today either. If I'm using this program, I'm doing NoFap. That could also be the result of how I'm feeling right now, because there's always that energetic buildup when you stop jacking it. Shouldn't be feeling like this only less than a day into NoFap though, so I'm guessing it's at least partially either psychological and/or the program itself. 

Gonna stop buying that legal Delta-8 THCP gummy stuff as well. I wouldn't mind saving the money and I want this program to work. When I visit friends and family in Florida in a month, it will be curious to see if all the hot college girls in the area near my house respond. Also, I'll be going to a lesbian wedding in NYC in 10 days. I don't expect the program to have any affect at the wedding, nor for the women there to be attractive, but it's in NYC, so it will be cool to see how women in NYC respond. Out here in Utah, the pickins are slim but that's alright. There was a hot barista with a nice ass at the Starbucks attached to the grocery store I work at, but I think she left cuz I haven't seen her in a while. Still, I guess we'll see if this program works here in Ogden. You know, in the rare event a physically attractive woman is spotted out in the wild and she's not taken LOL.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

It is NOT psychological. The energy flooding DEFINITELY works.

Also, I read the instructions and they said if you feel the need to listen to it again, do it, so I did. I'm listening to it again right now.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So here's some things I've been noticing lately:

The energy flooding is working, and it seems on one hand that I'm able to just build desire without needing to release it and touch myself. At the same time all this energy buildup is also making my anger rise, because I guess it was always there and with the energy getting pent up without releasing it through fapping it's just more intense. I don't lash out or anything, it's just that when I focus on something that makes me very angry my energy becomes intense, but I can still hide it when I'm at work or whatever.

In periods of intensity, either anger or desire rises, but either way my energy is increasingly becoming more intense. I do find myself wanting to listen to the subliminal again in these moments, but I'm hesitant to do so because I'm not sure if it's just the AutoConfig or frustration from the pent up energy building up. So I'm hesitant to act on it in those moments.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Something I've noticed is that while I've always had a chip on my shoulder, I just keep getting in an angrier and angrier mood. I don't show it. I manage to act calm and friendly on the outside. But the anger just keeps building up. Dunno why.

That aside, I notice changes to myself, but no hits. I do feel bolder and more confident though.

[Shannon]

That anger is something that needs to be resolved before you are likely to see hits. It is likely some part of you getting angry that the program is gaining ground and making the changes that it is. It will, naturally, be a part of you that is fighting the changes if that is the case.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Okay, that checks out.

Any advice on how to clear it?

So far, my only idea is to stay away from anything that would trigger it, like videos about... obviously divisive subject matters.

[Shannon]

Okay, that checks out.



Any advice on how to clear it?



So far, my only idea is to stay away from anything that would trigger it, like videos about... obviously divisive subject matters.

Here's how I would deal with it.

First I would find a location where I was free to express my anger without anyone else around me.  In my case, there are some remote beaches I could go to, or some areas of remote woods.  Then I would go there and start basically meditating on a question of what am I angry about?  And listen for the response.  It may take time to come to your conscious mind, and you may need to adjust your state to a deeper level of relaxation that everyday awareness.  It may come as a feeling or as a small quiet voice or something else.

Once it comes, and you have your answer, start asking "Why?" 

Each time you get an answer, take note of it, and again ask "Why?"  Keep going until you arrive at the root of the issue.

Once you understand the root of the issue, you can start making adjustments that will allow you to deal with the real cause of the anger.

You may also want to vent, scream, etc. to express that anger in a safe way that doesn't hurt you or anyone else.  But the part(s) of you that feel angry will benefit from being acknowledged and validated, understood and given a chance to speak and express their feelings.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Okay, that checks out.



Any advice on how to clear it?



So far, my only idea is to stay away from anything that would trigger it, like videos about... obviously divisive subject matters.

Here's how I would deal with it.

First I would find a location where I was free to express my anger without anyone else around me.  In my case, there are some remote beaches I could go to, or some areas of remote woods.  Then I would go there and start basically meditating on a question of what am I angry about?  And listen for the response.  It may take time to come to your conscious mind, and you may need to adjust your state to a deeper level of relaxation that everyday awareness.  It may come as a feeling or as a small quiet voice or something else.

Once it comes, and you have your answer, start asking "Why?" 

Each time you get an answer, take note of it, and again ask "Why?"  Keep going until you arrive at the root of the issue.

Once you understand the root of the issue, you can start making adjustments that will allow you to deal with the real cause of the anger.

You may also want to vent, scream, etc. to express that anger in a safe way that doesn't hurt you or anyone else.  But the part(s) of you that feel angry will benefit from being acknowledged and validated, understood and given a chance to speak and express their feelings.

Thanks. That sounds like good advice. I suck at meditation but I'll try it. I live on my own so I'll just use my apartment. 

As for expressing my anger, I intend to use some heavy metal tracks I've bought since I have in recent times discovered I inexplicably have gained the ability to sing. But I've got to get my voice back in shape for it and I've got to come up with a routine to practice which has me nervous because my neighbours love to make noise complaints. 


But metal vocals should be perfect for that idea. I'm actually intending to use it with Vtubing and YT content creation, as a sort of mixed media creative venture, but I want the music to be central. So that should work for that.

Thanks again.

[Shannon]

Here's how I would deal with it.

First I would find a location where I was free to express my anger without anyone else around me.  In my case, there are some remote beaches I could go to, or some areas of remote woods.  Then I would go there and start basically meditating on a question of what am I angry about?  And listen for the response.  It may take time to come to your conscious mind, and you may need to adjust your state to a deeper level of relaxation that everyday awareness.  It may come as a feeling or as a small quiet voice or something else.

Once it comes, and you have your answer, start asking "Why?" 

Each time you get an answer, take note of it, and again ask "Why?"  Keep going until you arrive at the root of the issue.

Once you understand the root of the issue, you can start making adjustments that will allow you to deal with the real cause of the anger.

You may also want to vent, scream, etc. to express that anger in a safe way that doesn't hurt you or anyone else.  But the part(s) of you that feel angry will benefit from being acknowledged and validated, understood and given a chance to speak and express their feelings.

Thanks. That sounds like good advice. I suck at meditation but I'll try it. I live on my own so I'll just use my apartment. 

As for expressing my anger, I intend to use some heavy metal tracks I've bought since I have in recent times discovered I inexplicably have gained the ability to sing. But I've got to get my voice back in shape for it and I've got to come up with a routine to practice which has me nervous because my neighbours love to make noise complaints. 


But metal vocals should be perfect for that idea. I'm actually intending to use it with Vtubing and YT content creation, as a sort of mixed media creative venture, but I want the music to be central. So that should work for that.

Thanks again.

Music isn't necessarily the best way to express anger.  It can act as programming, and actually make you more angry, depending on the style of music and the lyrics.  You want to express and purge, not set up a trigger to get more angry, or get angry for some new reason.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Thanks. That sounds like good advice. I suck at meditation but I'll try it. I live on my own so I'll just use my apartment. 

As for expressing my anger, I intend to use some heavy metal tracks I've bought since I have in recent times discovered I inexplicably have gained the ability to sing. But I've got to get my voice back in shape for it and I've got to come up with a routine to practice which has me nervous because my neighbours love to make noise complaints. 


But metal vocals should be perfect for that idea. I'm actually intending to use it with Vtubing and YT content creation, as a sort of mixed media creative venture, but I want the music to be central. So that should work for that.

Thanks again.

Music isn't necessarily the best way to express anger.  It can act as programming, and actually make you more angry, depending on the style of music and the lyrics.  You want to express and purge, not set up a trigger to get more angry, or get angry for some new reason.

Oh. So what would be a good way to express it then?

[Shannon]

Music isn't necessarily the best way to express anger.  It can act as programming, and actually make you more angry, depending on the style of music and the lyrics.  You want to express and purge, not set up a trigger to get more angry, or get angry for some new reason.

Oh. So what would be a good way to express it then?

Whatever works for you that does not encourage, prolong, train or increase your anger.  Yelling, smashing things, telling someone off who you're thinking about while you're alone, physical exertion (heavy bag practice, running, etc.), etc. etc.

You want to vet and purge, not sustain maintain, enhance, program or make stronger.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Oh. So what would be a good way to express it then?

Whatever works for you that does not encourage, prolong, train or increase your anger.  Yelling, smashing things, telling someone off who you're thinking about while you're alone, physical exertion (heavy bag practice, running, etc.), etc. etc.

You want to vet and purge, not sustain maintain, enhance, program or make stronger.

I yell and tell people off in my head all the time LOL

Actually, that's what I kept finding myself doing and that's what was worrying me. 

You know, maybe I SHOULD try physical exertion! 

I really ought to workout and exercise anyway. Why not do it for my mental health if nothing else?

Thanks for the advice Shannon.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Update: 


So I'm in NY for the wedding (I'm pretty sure I mentioned that) and I wanted to get out of our part of Brooklyn and go see somewhere more happening. I hoped I could see if this is working. I was cranky from lack of sleep and just felt lacking in energy. I figured this ain't gonna work yet but we'll see. Who knows?

I get more and more irritable as people keep trying to squeeze every last penny out of us (even by NY standards) and I just wanna leave. We saw Times Square, took the pictures, now let's get the hell outta here. There were a couple attractive women. Zero attention, but I barely even got a look at them, so whatever. Not many hot girls around. Maybe this isn't the best place in NY to meet the New York hotties I've heard so much about. Or maybe wrong time of day and wrong day of the week. Whatever. I just wanted out. 

We get down to the subway, one more attractive woman but she passed by me in a flash and I barely saw her. No reason to expect a hit there. 

We get to the platform for the subway that'll take us back to Brooklyn and I'm already in a better mood than when I was in Manhattan. 

As we're waiting, I notice a cute Alt-girl with red hair. She notices me. Seems nervous. Dad leans in and says "Hey, that red head's checking you out" I'm like "I notice!"

I did make extended eye contact which increased her nervousness, but subway comes and we bounced. 

Still! A hit! It's working! Looking forward to what happens as I keep using it and am around more good looking women! Update: dad just said this: "It was funny cuz she'd look at you, then you'd look back and she'd look away, then she'd check you out again and whenever you looked at her, she'd look away, then check you out again whenever you looked another direction. I was like DAMN! (EP'S) GOT GAME!" LOL

It's definitely working!

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Okay, so I finally have time to update, so I will.

I'm not gonna lie, at first I had an easier time than ever not touching myself, but then I would start edging. I'd stop myself, but a little bit would come out.

At one point, I pass down face down on my bed and I don't even pull it out. I'm just in a hypnogogic state (half asleep, half awake) thinking about some sexual fantasies and next thing I know (I guess because I'd been getting an erection with my body pressed against the bed, and since I was half asleep, not really having the werewithal to notice) I umm... yeah. Great, now I need to do laundry.

I started trying to be more vigilant about it, but in the last couple days, I jacked it. Not much came out surprisingly, even with full release. Dunno why. Maybe most of it came out when the above happened? I dunno.

I worry what that does to my aura, but I noticed myself getting numerous hits today. I looked at this one chick and she looked right back and smiled in a way that made it obvious. Had a couple possible hits. Couldn't be sure. Then I'm walking back home from work, decide to go into this place that I thought was an art gallery, see a hot chick at the desk. I ask "Hey, this is an art gallery right?" She says "Um, no, this is a tatoo parlor. You can feel free to come around and come back tomorrow though and check things out if you want" I said "Sure. What's your name btw?" She said "Kylen" I'm like "Cool" and she's like "What's your name?" I tell her and shake her hand. Normally, this doesn't sound all that special, but it's the eye contact and body language that made me think this was a hit. I'll see tomorrow to be sure though. But I'm pretty sure it worked on her. Up until her, what few hits I'd gotten has all been at close range. This was at like around maybe around at least 9-12 feet away, I think. Great! Normal distance! I am hoping to build up more energy to project my aura further though, which is why I'm disappointed with myself for the above incidents.

I also occasionally use a substance that probably has negative effects on the energetic working of the program, but only socially. I prolly shouldn't. At least I quit doing it other than on social occasions. I know that's gotta be affecting my aura, but I hope not too badly.

Still, despite the above things, I'm still seeing results. Don't get me wrong, chicks aren't like begging to jump my bones or anything. It's nothing super duper overt, but no social situation has been the kind where there was a chance to really get to that point. Still, I like the results I'm noticing.

When I go to visit family in Florida this week, I know there will be plenty of hot chicks in the area where my parents live, cuz they live near a college! That'll be sweet! I'm hoping to see what the program does then!