Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM6 RE-RUN Stage 2 - Letting go

[Dee]

Glad you asked! Being obsessed with success and allowing it to happen are two different things. Whether it's business, women, etc. Allow it to happen naturally rather than out of desperation. Passion and desperation, neediness are different. Geodude maybe you can help me out here.

My ego's trying to protect its self again. I know what you mean but i feel as thought my obsession is what has driving me so far and if i clear it i don't know what will happen.

I know this celerity life coach and personal trainer who uses the pain and fears celebrities have of losing their fame and glory and he swears its that most effective method to get them in the gym ever day. What would happen if they clear those fears?

And that's where am at

Tap on "obsessed", putting in un necessary work, not having synergy etc.

Thanks

Fonzy

Yes I guess if i work on the minor issues around it, it will become easier for me to get rid of that major one, in a "safer" way according to my feelings of "safe". If i could rid my self of ADD i would focus naturally, if i rid my self of laziness and procrastination. I could not need to go to such extreme measures to get things done.

It seems the only way I get to finish projects is if I make myself get obsessed with it so I don’t get distracted with anything else, so sure I work like 18 hours a day, 7 days a week but the thing gets competed. The only problem is I don’t know how to replicate the process of getting obsessed to work 100% of the time.

I got myself into the frenzy before Xmas and I done a lot of work for my business start-up, then family came over and it broke my state of flow and now it’s a struggle to any work done.

Thanks guy that was an eye opener

[stratos]

Well, if you have all of these nervous emotions, and a family that can break your flow, then you do need to be obsessed to get results.

If you can clear EVERYTHING (both the obsession, AND the nervous emotions about people, family, and relationships) then everything can go smoother.

So, in essence, maybe you're right that you "need" to be obsessed right now. Before you clear the work obsession, you might want to clear out your reaction to people and situations that make you nervous.

I wonder if Geodude can help out here tho.

[Dee]

Can I beta male be a good businessman?

Just had a business meeting on Saturday as our coach/consultant is going aboard next week. I done a ton of work in these last few months and invested over 9 months of unpaid work into this project. And I still feel uncertain about success, what I mean is it could work on a small level and grow over time but a few things keep coming up for me as stress.

I guess I had unrealistic expectations timewise . Why has the brain got to know what will happen all the time even in an uncertain future.

I don’t know what to expect in the future and this thing about having faith and positive thinking has sometimes made me overlook many things in a business sense that may be perceived as negative.

If at first you fail .....

But I remember Mr Hill, If a plan goes wrong that means there was something that needs to be fixed, so I won’t give up easy no matter what .

The most excellent thing about it all is that last year I would have reacted as if my life depended upon the success of this business and I would not have been able to handle the stress and uncertainty .

Now am more confidence in my ability to learn new skills and adapt, so what ever happens I won’t give up on my dream of freedom and been who I have the potential to be.

I just took an hour walk into town to clear my head and headpain and did the homework my hypnotherapist gave to me. I had time to think and reflect, and I have decided its for the best, too much success too fast could be a bad thing, I have to learn to manage what I have now, the little to manage a lot.

If I fail it won’t be for lack of effort.

A few words from Jim Rohn

“The difference between success and failure is so subtle. Let me explain by giving you my definitions of failure and success. Failure is a few errors in judgment repeated every day. The man says, “Well I didn’t walk around the block today and it didn’t kill me, so it must be okay.” No. It is that kind of error in judgment after six years that has him out of breath and panting as he walks from his car to his office. You can’t make those kinds of mistakes; it will end up costing you.

Now, here is my definition of success: A few simple disciplines practiced every day. Do you see the distinction? A few disciplines…. Here’s a little phrase we’ve all heard, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” And my question to you is, “What if that’s true?” How simple and easy is that plan?”


Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I made good progress but AM5 Stage 2 seems to be messing with this goal new sleep issues have arisen and I think I need more sleep to progress the new suggestions.

I used to work all night and sleep all day but now am awaking in the morning.


Short Term Goal #3 – Week Day Ritual

Am doing most of the stuff everyday, I have managed to do the brainwave entrainment everyday as I need that to raise my waves from the theta laced Visualization I do as soon as I get up, it one of the reason I get out of bed easier.

I have also been reading I started on the Masterkey each section is short so it takes me a few mins and I read the same section over the span of a week do the excises and answer the questions at the end to see how well I internalized the week’s section. I have been doing my daily walks too I will replace this with the gym in due time.

I have not been meditating at all am finding it hard to find the time, and I have not been doing my evening reading everyday too.

Well I guess am trying to change to many habits at once, I should have started with a few at first then when they became automatic moved on. Too late to turn back now.

Redefining my goals

I will need to refine my goals at some point in the next few months for many reasons. First I made them at a point in my life where I was trying to make up for lost time.

Trying to be normal would mean I lost years of my life in depression and suffering, so I looked like trying to be great would make up for lost time, thus making me feel “normal” like everyone else. Its emotional but that’s the logic, makes sense too.

Second I have had many unrealistic expectations that will make my fail and get discouraged, not because it was never going to work but because I didn’t give it enough time and resources, eg it takes 10000 hours to master something (well its said), I would give myself 5000 hours including time to master accerated learning. Patrice truly is a virtue that leads to mastery.

When am clear of the bulk of my issues I would probably look back on my first goals and wonder what the F**K I was thinking. Or….. who knows, we’ll have to see


Imagine how successful I will be in a this time next year will 100 new powerful habits. Can't wait

[Dee]

If you can clear EVERYTHING (both the obsession, AND the nervous emotions about people, family, and relationships) then everything can go smoother.

You are right as before I would use negative energy from things like rejection for example as fuel for my financial success. So instead of been sad and depressed I would be motivated on my goals. I life was so bad in all areas and still is to some extent that my motivational fuel became a compulsion.

The strategy seems to have worked well at a time when I did not believe I could change the things I didn’t like about myself. So materiel success would compensate for all my short comings. It seems to me that “most” successful people in the world have negative motivations.

As I have been getting rid of emotions and thoughts not aligned with the enlighten person I will become, I have found time to work on the other areas of my life I had been neglecting.

Soon I will be clear and live a smooth life with all of my needs met allowing me to reach the state of self-actualization.

A few thought where brought up tho

Is Prescribing Energy Medication for you self-safe?

I think it can be dangerous for “messed up” people to tap on their own using they own scripts and much. I experimented with me own subliminal recordings back in the day mostly I was high or drunk and I am recovering from the un-thoughtful suggestions I made to myself.

I had also made one to stop smoking then after some time I could not handle the intensive paranoia so I stopped smoking weed overnight (maybe longer than that, but still). Most of the guys I did it with admire my willpower as none of them believed in subs. I still smoked nicotine but I felt 1000 times worst than it made the average person feel.

Now these feelings where good right for that particular issue? They were there to convince me stop smoking as its bad for my heath and well been. I hated those feelings and wanted freedom from them and guess what I did.

Yes you guessed it, I started taping. “Even though smoking makes me feel like a piece of pig sh*t I still love and accept myself”. I worked it made those feelings bearable and I continued smoking for a few more years.

Bottom of the Pyramid headed to the Top

If you can picture Hierarchy of needs in your head, am at the second stage my physiological needs are met by my parents (God Bless Em). And I feel as though I need to fulfil my Safety Needs - Physical security, interpersonal security, employment, resources, health, property etc before I can move on. Love and belonging is next up and that includes friendship and family, sexual and intimacy.

Is it possible that some emotions are necessary to get you from one point to the next and buy clearing them you could do more damage than good?

Also as we all know emotions are a sort of communication negative ones are telling you that something is wrong, either with your belief system or something else. And EFT seems like it may be used the wrong way, like sticking your head in the sand to experience peace.

I think I need to start studying F-EFT as its more advanced, maybe that’s what my dream meant.

[stratos]

You might want to tap with a practitioner; there are plenty online. For example, in addition to tapping on how smoking makes you feel like shit, you would also tap on how feeling like shit makes you feel like smoking, if that's the behavior you want to change. "Even though I have this craving.."

[Dee]

Practitioners are the best, someone who can unbiasedly evaluate your problem, like we try and on on this forum.

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” Albert Einstein


Are there any Practitioners on this forum, that would be an added benefit if the person has been through these subs

[Fonzy3]

You might want to tap with a practitioner; there are plenty online. For example, in addition to tapping on how smoking makes you feel like shit, you would also tap on how feeling like shit makes you feel like smoking, if that's the behavior you want to change. "Even though I have this craving.."

Practitioners are the best, someone who can unbiasedly evaluate your problem, like we try and on on this forum.

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” Albert Einstein


Are there any Practitioners on this forum, that would be an added benefit if the person has been through these subs

Make yourself a practitioner. Release until you are very aware of all your emotions and any negativity that becomes prevalent in your mind.

When you're staring fear in the face don't give it any time by looking for something else. Release it, and expose yourself to the great feeling that you have been denied of.

Thanks

Fonzy

[Dee]

I could possibility just be mentally lazy, there are some things I can tap on that are easy and others that I can’t get into. I have been tapping on everything as they suggest and either It doesn’t work on everything or I need to get certification or home study course to apply it better.

EFT for smoking isn’t very effective, I tapped on cravings, triggers you name it, I even got EFT stop smoking products, nothing worked. I was just trying to show how it may be counterproductive at times.

Okay, so I must study F-EFT. It’s on the to do list for now I will just continue with my limited results EFT. I don’t have much success tapping using my own words as I do tapping to videos with Practitioners that use NLP and other techniques as well.

Action Plan - Compete NLP training and integrate with E-EFT

[Dee]

I really got this product for assist me in my business ventures not particularly for women, having money will allow me to have a high level of self-esteem. When I run AM6 I will focus on women as I am finding it hard to get time to read the books.

Saint or Weakling

As a weakling it seems that by nature people take advantage of you. I met up with a client that owes me money and has not been replying to my messages. I met the person on Sunday but did not confront them about this as there other people there (did think of finding a private place as the situation was a bit difficult to). I knew that the person has money problems at the moment and I did not want them to be in an arward position. Probably the weakling in me is making excuses.

Also on the same day I received a call from someone I had done a job for but I didn’t ask for the payment pending.

This sh*t has to stop, when does AM5 kick in hard? On stage one I was getting kickarse dreams of superspy stuff, but in Stage two am dreaming of people in my past a lot and childhood friends etc. Last night it was about a childhood friend I caught trying to burn the family home and I let him go even thought I had thoughts in my mind of burning him as justice, seem like there’s a relation to the events I just mentioned

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

Also stage 2 is making it hard for me to sleep and my Early Riser goal is getting more difficult to achieve at the moment. I became sensitive to brain activity some time ago during my meditations and it seems when I listen to stage 2 I feel more changes/ processing in my brain more than stage 1, I wonder if the stages will get more intense or if its just my imagination.

Financial and Business Goals: 1)Move the F**t out of home

I am close to that goal, it will take two months before launch of the business venture am working on and I will be required to move cities so I will finality have my own place. I need to get these nervous feelings and insecurities out the place to prevent any chance of me sabotaging this because of fear of been alone on the world by myself.
But I will enjoy the process of planning my monthly budget and buying all the things a need. I have been hypnotising myself to have more faith and ave let go of a lot of worries in the past 3 days, I wonder what I will be like after 30 days of doing this.

Back to business, I have a launch coming up soon. This will be the most eventful year of my life.

[Dee]

I have been clearing money issues relating to the differences between wealthy people and myself and why I would not deserve to be wealthy too. I also spent some time in the bath working on my need to compete with people and at the same time be normal/fit in vs what I really want and who I really want to be or think that I am, it was really nice doing that one. I think I will continue tapping on trusting me self for the rest of the week and been free from the past or future just before I go to bed.

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I have managed to fall asleep earlier than I have before since starting stage two, also I managed to get up at 8.30 the time of my second alarm today. I thought It would be easy to change my body clock buts it harder that I expected.

I will have to wake up even earlier if I am to get all the things in my daily ritual done without affecting my work hours. It’s easier getting up early when you work for someone else that’s for sure.

Deadline: 2nd of February

Short Term Goal #2 – Brain Reboot (127 days left)

I can feel the progress am making, I am starting to get erections from just thinking about sex.

Short Term Goal #3 – Week Day Ritual

I am struggling to fit everything in time as I take too long on some tasks. I may read a book for 30 mins longer because I find it interesting then that fucks everything up or get a call and speak to too long. I like the fact I have structure in my life now whereas before I would just do whatever and never make drastic progress in my life.

I know that when I habituate this ritual I will be able to do and learn everything I never wanted in my past 25 years of living in the next 5 years of my life. Just by making small steps towards my goals daily with my new ritual. I may have to change it as I move out of home but it’s okay at present.

SEX GOALS

I have been working on my sex goals and as I think about it more I realize that what I thought I wanted before I didn’t really want. The more clear I get, the more happy I seem to be; wanting to chase all those club girls knowing that’s not my cup of tea caused more tension than needed.

Knowing what I really want is making me more optimistic as the change will be delightful because the end result or reward will be something I desire from the deep inside. I am not judging club/party girls but they seem to lack a depth I desire.

"Beauty without virtue is like a rose without scent." The Wise King of legend with 700 wives and 300 concubines

[Dee]

I finally call up all the clients that owed me money.

Major Life Breakthrough

I think EFT is the greatest invention since the fire and the education system must teach it on the first day of school. It’s now in my view, one of the most important life skills that everyone should master and I will train to do it at a professional level as soon as I can.

As I was working on my budget for leaving home and setting up out there in the world, I found that I had little money left over and something in my mind made me forget that as my business grows so will my dividends.

Life in Hades

Anyway, feelings of depression came over me as It had before in my past; I had this pattern whereby every time I got close to achieving what I wanted this feeling would take over and I would quit or give up and crawl into my hole of despair. This would happen sexually, in education, money issues, relationships, you name it.

The feeling is really brilliant in its own nature for the outcome intented. I feel disoriented and disconnected from the world, I would feel confused and powerless.

All that stuff of faith and positive thinking starts to feel like wishful thinking and I would not know what to believe (good or bad), which just increases the uncertainly and anxiety levels. It’s a mixture of sadness, grief, sorrow and shame all mixed up in a victim mentality and empty heart. Then it fuctureates with frustration, anger, revenge, rebellion then back again.

I beat down my Demon litte little taps

Before I would let that feeling grow and get stronger by listening to sad music, making sad music, replaying all the events in my life that enforce those feelings or going to a therapist that would just make me relive painful memories then take my money at the end of the session. I did not have a way of dealing getting passed this state wilfully and was at its mercy.

But now I have this life changing tool and I spent about 2-4 hours in bed tapping on many different things until I hit the jackpot combination and that emotion left me. I feel as though there is now nothing I cannot achieve as before this state could stop me from doing anything that would mean me leaving home and been successful in my life and happy. And I have overcome my Demons.

Things I tapped on

I tapped on time, the past and future not existing therefore not been anything real to worry about, the future will be NOW tomorrow and if I don’t change NOW, then I’ll be the same tomorrow. I tapped the fact that everything we do in life is based on faith, I have faith tomorrow will come and I will wake up in the morning even though I know that one day I will have to die (but just not tomorrow ).

I tapped the fact that the fear I have about a plastic future is what has been shaping it into all the problems I have been having in the past and the fact that I can change all the NOW because that’s all that exists. And by replacing faith with fear I will get the positive outcomes and states that feel good instead of the fear based ones I dread.

I tapped a lot of things and am summarising but that done the trick and I woke up in the morning and I for the first time in my life I listened to a hypnosis recording and I was able to just listen without been distracted with thoughts of the past or matters of the future, I was just there in the NOW experiencing the present moment in it its fullness.

I will continue this line of tapping for the next week or some and see what else I can change.

This will be one of the best years of my life I am so grateful!

[Dee]

I swear this stage must be dealing with the past or relationships, I have been dreaming about people I haven’t thought about or seen in years, and it’s always from the view point I haven’t done anything with my life. I wonder what this stage will achieve.

Albert Einstein was once considered retarded

During a business meeting today with an expert service provider and an ex vice president of an international cooperation I came up with a solution to a problem we were having, that they experience should have shared a light on and the reason I arranged the meeting in the first place.

I still had a problem of feeling smart or thinking well of myself, its as if I don’t want to get big headed or lie to myself, or I feel as though they must be really stupid (but I would still feel intimidated to train to do they jobs).

I would think 1000 other things before I pat myself on the back.
This seems to be a big issue because how is my confident to grow or how will I develop the attitude of a self-made millionaire if I only look at my weaknesses and brush my strengths to the side?

So I began tapping asking my self question like “how do I know my smart”, “how would I know if I was a genius or not”, the fact that blind people have deflects and can’t perceive certain things doesn’t mean they stupid, and how it relations to my ability to spell. How the blind person would develop other sense to compensate and how I also have many skills as a result of my dyslexia and other hidden talents I will only find out if I experiment and try new things.

I feel better and I think I will continue this line of tapping.

Money By All Means

Last night I noticed that I have a believe that it’s okay for me to be Wealthy but I have a problem been Rich. It’s a really funny issue, how can I be wealthy without been rich first? I believe everyone can have abundance that we still living in paradise like Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is within you, so we can all experience it NOW. But I have a problem been rich.

It’s as if words are they own unique concepts in the brain and need to be dealt with individually. I neutralized my favourite trigger word “Stupid” and my relentless mind replaced it with “Thick”, Ha, I thought to my self.

Hopeful I won’t have to go through the whole dictionary and neutralize all the words relating to “Stupid”, even if I did it wound be blissful to live a life where I don’t have to be paranoid about my level of intelligence.
I wonder if I will feel the need to take IQ tests and all that nonsense at the end of AM5 and after I cleared out all my fears and triggers.
But then again “how does anyone know if they smart or not”? “top of the head” tap tap tap.

Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser

I am now waking up at 8-8:30 when this stabilizes for a week or so I will start waking up 10-15 mins early every day until I reach my target of 6 am.

It a bit hard because some nights I have an issue that keeps me up and a tap for hours, other nights its smooth sailing. Anyway better to have a target than none at all.

Short Term Goal #3 – Week Day Ritual

I am finding it easier to do things a used to dread before, I have been doing my brain training without any resistance at all, I always read every morning say my affirmations, visualize, listen to my hypnosis, do my brain wave entrainment.

The meditation and excise will take some pushing to do. But am happy with the progress, before I would either just focus on one thing until it’s done and forget other areas of my life. Now am finding balance and months away from the perfect balance but progress is a process that takes more than a few days.

[Dee]

Update:

Guess I jumped the gun on that one. The ex VP suggested his own solution after blowing a hole in my logic (“that simple division solve” says my ego). From a high to a low within a few hours over a subject that matter little. How am I supposed to mastermind within a group if I feel “stupid”, I had the sense to get them both together to solve the problem but I still feel low. This is really fucked up.

I remember the study from London Business Collage about the link between dyslexics and entrepreneurs. Can’t remember the exacts but there like 1 in 10 people with dyslexia in the population but they represent about 35% of business people (I wonder the % in prison).

COOL!!! I thought to myself first time I read it, but then it went on to say only 10% of these dyslexic business people are confident.

[video=youtube]www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XQcdVp9sls[/video]

How does this guy not feel like an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How the FucK did he get so rich???????????????????????

I don’t feel as low as I would have a few months ago but how can anyone live like this. Every mistake I made I feel like my world is over, every error in judgement, everything I get wrong, every time I see a mentally challenged person. A small event like this one and I feel like am in over my head, no wonder I didn’t want to pat myself on the back. Am even paranoid about doing my own tapping I could be so dum and fuck myself up even more.

No wonder I felt for all the PUA marketing, canned routines, step by step process, its fool proof.

I am still grateful thought that I have an opportunity to make a life for myself and support myself and that I have support along the way. But I have lost confidence in AM5 ability to make me confident because of this, maybe I will get most of the things on the list, or maybe it will push me to deal with my issues and be cool about it like Sir Richard Branson.


"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life thinking it’s stupid.” - Albert Einstein

So I can make all the money in the world I will still feel sad, fuck all the women and it wudnt change my self image. I need to fix this problem

[Dee]

I've Been here before

Instead of going for the best solution something in me feels the need to defend my idea, like my idea is somewhat a representation of myself and if someone rejects it or thinks it’s not that good then somehow that relates to me as a person.

This is some really counterproductive stuff and I can view it clearer now. I have been defensive when people offer suggestions that may benefit me as I have noticed in this journal, then I try to validate myself to avoid negative feelings. So I must have been the same in school rejecting correction as a way of maintaining the little positivity I held in my self-esteem.

Am Smart, I should get Glasses

Trying to be clever, using big words, spitting out information and facts instead of just enjoying a convo. It’s as if I married a nagging wife I have to tolerate the rest of my life.

“CEOs don’t have to be smart they say they just have to hire smart people”, “More people with high IQs work for people with lower ones” the studies show all this and still, All this doesn’t change the fact.
Want cute retarded babies?

Then all the girls come around and my inferiority complex is magnified, “at lease when am rich I’ll be able to compete with other guys, and it will make up for my ______”

I was friends with a girl I loved that liked me for over a year while trying to get a record deal, then I lost our friendship when I was getting close to that goal and lost all momentum and fell into depression. What hot girl would want to have “stupid” babies? How much survival value can a “stupid” guy give?

How can you feel secure when you can’t even trust your own brain to spell your address correctly every time, especially when it’s important and people are watching you, even though you’ve done it 100s of times before?

Passed Blessings, more regrets

I remember this one job I would get, the guy liked me and was going to train me in trading stocks and forex and coach me on business, networking, life in general. Then I would have these dreams of people at this office stood behind me and I would have to write something and I fail on the spellings. I would then fear they judgements of me and that pain is worse in relation to how good it would feel been a big city trader.

I think I need to seek professional help with this shit, it’s the HUGE obstacle to everything good that life as to offer. I swear to god I will punch the next person that tells me happiness comes from within because that’s where all my sadness comes from too.

And having more physical objects than other people truly does make it feel happy (as sad as it sounds) because I don’t feel as worthless and miserable (you could be normal or smart but I have money, balances the scales a bit). And whenever someone makes me feel stupid all I have to say is “Am Rich Bitch, what I need to know _______ for? I pay someone to do that for me”.

Get Rich or Die Trying

“I think everybody should have dyslexia and A.D.D.” Founder of Kinko’s, Mr Orfalea

When you very survival depends on you making a lot of money and been successful so you can get people to do the things you can’t do you self; very little can stop you from achieving that goal. Survival is the strongest force known to man, it’s a life principle.

It’s a Gift and a Curse I guess, Curse first, Gift later.

I will Overcome and achieve my goals , its either that or I die cause you can’t call depression living, anyway it’s an illness and they known to kill.