06-07-2015, 02:22 PM
LAST STAGE:
I have changed a lot from who I was then I found this site. Recent changes:
1) Wouldn't care less about what people think about me, I sometimes re-run negative thoughts but its more of me making my self feel bad intentional rather than the needs of approval I had regarding people in the past
2) I realized that basing your life on your emotions causes indecisiveness and weak staying power, just do what you agreed to do and make no excuses!!! Pure objectivity with emotions as fuel and not distractions
3) Life is meaningless and its more logical to give it your own meaning rather than living in another persons reality. The glass is both half empty and half full so decide for your self what it is according to your own experience of it rather than what the water measuring experts say.
4) My word is the source of my spiritual power, live and die by it, stay true to it, do what you say and say what you do.
5) I have more of a social life, i was at some women's house last week stoking her face.
6) I don't allow other people BS and excuses any more.
7) I am dealing with my fears of success now. Funny thing is a fail and fail because am afliad of what success would mean. Its like life is too easy I cant believe how easy it is. I can be anything I work hard to be, I can have anything I work hard for, but yet am afraid that could be true.
9) So I went to court last week and I the first thing I said to the female Judge was " I hope you woke up on the right side of the bed today" my lawyer said never in his 20 year practice has he met anyone like me, as I was lucky she liked me and reply to the cheeky comment in a positive matter, she said " I always do" and I sort of won the case against the government.
10) I am starting to see my self as a man and not the boy who was afraid to piss people off. Not only a man but a man who can live in his own realty weather or not other people accept its exsitance
11) I seem determined and persistence, I called one person every 20-30 mins for 2 days until I got an answer. Again he says he has never met any one as persistence as I am. I feel like Life is a test and it always the person that wants it the most that gets it cause they do anything to have it, watch drug addicts.
12) My life coach says am relentless too, I wont give up on my goals and I have more of them than all the other clients I have.
In conclusion I have been a busy guy and haven't had time to update this but It seems that I like negative stuff and I like feeling bad and I designed events in my life to fuel that. So I sit there happy and look for something to stress about, like a warrior who constantly seeks conflict. I am not sure what will happen without that "need" regardless, I sat there looking at the court letter and I started to make my self feel bad even thought I knew its all good. I know I will be one of the greatest but am just addicted to doubt because of the self pity it breeds.
Peace.
PS, I cant wait to run this program again.
I have changed a lot from who I was then I found this site. Recent changes:
1) Wouldn't care less about what people think about me, I sometimes re-run negative thoughts but its more of me making my self feel bad intentional rather than the needs of approval I had regarding people in the past
2) I realized that basing your life on your emotions causes indecisiveness and weak staying power, just do what you agreed to do and make no excuses!!! Pure objectivity with emotions as fuel and not distractions
3) Life is meaningless and its more logical to give it your own meaning rather than living in another persons reality. The glass is both half empty and half full so decide for your self what it is according to your own experience of it rather than what the water measuring experts say.
4) My word is the source of my spiritual power, live and die by it, stay true to it, do what you say and say what you do.
5) I have more of a social life, i was at some women's house last week stoking her face.
6) I don't allow other people BS and excuses any more.
7) I am dealing with my fears of success now. Funny thing is a fail and fail because am afliad of what success would mean. Its like life is too easy I cant believe how easy it is. I can be anything I work hard to be, I can have anything I work hard for, but yet am afraid that could be true.
9) So I went to court last week and I the first thing I said to the female Judge was " I hope you woke up on the right side of the bed today" my lawyer said never in his 20 year practice has he met anyone like me, as I was lucky she liked me and reply to the cheeky comment in a positive matter, she said " I always do" and I sort of won the case against the government.
10) I am starting to see my self as a man and not the boy who was afraid to piss people off. Not only a man but a man who can live in his own realty weather or not other people accept its exsitance
11) I seem determined and persistence, I called one person every 20-30 mins for 2 days until I got an answer. Again he says he has never met any one as persistence as I am. I feel like Life is a test and it always the person that wants it the most that gets it cause they do anything to have it, watch drug addicts.
12) My life coach says am relentless too, I wont give up on my goals and I have more of them than all the other clients I have.
In conclusion I have been a busy guy and haven't had time to update this but It seems that I like negative stuff and I like feeling bad and I designed events in my life to fuel that. So I sit there happy and look for something to stress about, like a warrior who constantly seeks conflict. I am not sure what will happen without that "need" regardless, I sat there looking at the court letter and I started to make my self feel bad even thought I knew its all good. I know I will be one of the greatest but am just addicted to doubt because of the self pity it breeds.
Peace.
PS, I cant wait to run this program again.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
