02-05-2014, 01:38 PM
2 days till the heavy stuff
I am not sure what to expect in the next few days on Stage 3 but I know it will take me to a whole new level and I might get a new found need to be excellent and filled with passion in everything I do, if not stage 2 then at some point soon.
I woke up late again today and passed up on my ritual, am not as bothered as I once was if I keep trying I will crack this hard nut. It seems that most of my procrastination was a clever scheme to not do the things I feared (criticism, failure, success) so that too will fade with time. And the more richer my life gets will be the more zeal I will have for living and the tasks will do me instead of me doing them.
I once heard a saying “The normal course of life is downstream but everything good is upstream”, so I wouldn’t say I’ve given up or quit on going upstream, am still building the stamina to ensure I get there then I try.
Beside that the “Science To Been Great” has been really good for my morale this past few days, I have been tapping and going some guided imagery on it. I now know that if I stick to all my brain training and spelling intervention programs I will build those neuron networks I need have to be the person I have to be in the next few years and all the occurrences inbeweet don’t have to bother me at all, because am growing every day. I mean I do have personal prove that am changing/improving, so I now see my brain as an instrument for my mind and I can develop it/ fine tune it as much as I want and I still have the resources of my mind to use if I learn how.
Its actually a weird feeling to know that you can have everything you ever wanted, even though I know its true a part of me still wants to argue with myself, which reminds me.
Dream Journal,
Part 1 - I had a dream I was with this sexy girl I have never seen her before but she was close to my “dream girl”. She had her legs open as she sat on a bed, then I began playing she her where her lovely legs met. As dreams go a clip went missing and all of a sudden there was two of me. The other me seemed to be needy and critical in the way he was holding her with hints of jealousy and negativity, and every time I tried to go towards this women the other be would c*ck block me, then the dream ended. First dream that I have ever met myself like that, weird. Also if it means I c*ck block myself because of those attitudes then …….
Part 2 – I also had a dream that I saw y self from a energetic point of view, I was a vision of splendour my eyes radiated with this energy that was captivating and it demanded attention;my entire body was made of light and power and love. And I remember my inner dialog “wow is this what I look like to other people”. best self esteem booster I have ever heard of, courtesy of the Sub-Mind.
Work hard then work again
The research that our sales projections will be based upon are almost done, an issue came up and it will take 80+ hours to complete. I called up my consultant/coach to suggest any solutions as he has been paid to create the financials for the business, he began going on about all these terms and although I understand the model we are using to create the projections conceptually, I do not understand it in detail. To say I hate maths would be an understatement.
At that moment of confusion I feel a mild feeling of “depression” but it fazed where before I would be writing a long post about how hard my life is or something. I tend to remember times when the consultant didn’t understand tech terms or processes, no one can know all things all the time. And I think I am coming to terms with that. Stage 2 has been epic, that why am happy I decided to write in this journal because I tend to feel like I was always this way but I have made drastic improvements, this couple of months, and I’ll be amazed when I summarise AM5 at the end of stage 6.
Also I don’t feel the need to try and act smart to cover up the fact I feel I am not, its caused me many unneassary hardships in the past with keeping up with lies and doing lots of un needed things to try and impress people. I feel more comfortable asking people to explain when I don’t understand without fear of judgement and now I am more happy to delegate all the tasks am not ready to do at the moment and live a stressfree life while I build my neuro networks and skills, whereas before I would be stressing about all my weaknesses.
Yep fear can limit your reasoning ability:@ and make you do foolish things as you will not see the simple easy solution standing behind your fear.
I am not sure what to expect in the next few days on Stage 3 but I know it will take me to a whole new level and I might get a new found need to be excellent and filled with passion in everything I do, if not stage 2 then at some point soon.
I woke up late again today and passed up on my ritual, am not as bothered as I once was if I keep trying I will crack this hard nut. It seems that most of my procrastination was a clever scheme to not do the things I feared (criticism, failure, success) so that too will fade with time. And the more richer my life gets will be the more zeal I will have for living and the tasks will do me instead of me doing them.
I once heard a saying “The normal course of life is downstream but everything good is upstream”, so I wouldn’t say I’ve given up or quit on going upstream, am still building the stamina to ensure I get there then I try.
Beside that the “Science To Been Great” has been really good for my morale this past few days, I have been tapping and going some guided imagery on it. I now know that if I stick to all my brain training and spelling intervention programs I will build those neuron networks I need have to be the person I have to be in the next few years and all the occurrences inbeweet don’t have to bother me at all, because am growing every day. I mean I do have personal prove that am changing/improving, so I now see my brain as an instrument for my mind and I can develop it/ fine tune it as much as I want and I still have the resources of my mind to use if I learn how.
Its actually a weird feeling to know that you can have everything you ever wanted, even though I know its true a part of me still wants to argue with myself, which reminds me.
Dream Journal,
Part 1 - I had a dream I was with this sexy girl I have never seen her before but she was close to my “dream girl”. She had her legs open as she sat on a bed, then I began playing she her where her lovely legs met. As dreams go a clip went missing and all of a sudden there was two of me. The other me seemed to be needy and critical in the way he was holding her with hints of jealousy and negativity, and every time I tried to go towards this women the other be would c*ck block me, then the dream ended. First dream that I have ever met myself like that, weird. Also if it means I c*ck block myself because of those attitudes then …….
Part 2 – I also had a dream that I saw y self from a energetic point of view, I was a vision of splendour my eyes radiated with this energy that was captivating and it demanded attention;my entire body was made of light and power and love. And I remember my inner dialog “wow is this what I look like to other people”. best self esteem booster I have ever heard of, courtesy of the Sub-Mind.
Work hard then work again
The research that our sales projections will be based upon are almost done, an issue came up and it will take 80+ hours to complete. I called up my consultant/coach to suggest any solutions as he has been paid to create the financials for the business, he began going on about all these terms and although I understand the model we are using to create the projections conceptually, I do not understand it in detail. To say I hate maths would be an understatement.
At that moment of confusion I feel a mild feeling of “depression” but it fazed where before I would be writing a long post about how hard my life is or something. I tend to remember times when the consultant didn’t understand tech terms or processes, no one can know all things all the time. And I think I am coming to terms with that. Stage 2 has been epic, that why am happy I decided to write in this journal because I tend to feel like I was always this way but I have made drastic improvements, this couple of months, and I’ll be amazed when I summarise AM5 at the end of stage 6.
Also I don’t feel the need to try and act smart to cover up the fact I feel I am not, its caused me many unneassary hardships in the past with keeping up with lies and doing lots of un needed things to try and impress people. I feel more comfortable asking people to explain when I don’t understand without fear of judgement and now I am more happy to delegate all the tasks am not ready to do at the moment and live a stressfree life while I build my neuro networks and skills, whereas before I would be stressing about all my weaknesses.
Yep fear can limit your reasoning ability:@ and make you do foolish things as you will not see the simple easy solution standing behind your fear.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
