01-29-2014, 03:30 AM
Upheaval
This stage two period has been causing major upheaval in what I call me normal mental patterns. I just started having many dreams of the past and people from my past.
The other day I dreamt of my old primary school days, I remember walking past “special class” and seen this nice girl in it, I later was to attend that class for a year. I think am dealing with the past and related issues, also the last two days I have had sex related dreams since starting stage 1 of AM5.
WET DREAMS.
The dream I had a day ago had this girl with her legs wide open, saying no to me but dripping wet, the close my peanuts (lol) got to her cookie jar the further she moved it back but I finally got in here and woke up with peanut juice in my underwear.
The dream I had this morning was kinda like the same I started rubbing this women’s cookie jar and before she was going to cum or something she told me to stay away from her the closer I tried to get.
Not sure if it about rejection or persistence, but I will say one thing its always a pleasure having sex dreams. I wonder what happens in a couple when I guy or girl has a sex dream and cums while they in the same bed. Does that turn into an argument coz it’s like subconscious cheating in a way.
Self-Acceptance
I will say one thing about this stage so far I seem to be accepting myself more and more. I don’t think maturity comes with age but I notice than the influences of peer pressure and trying to fit in are quickly disappearing.
I mean I have this poetry meet-up on the weekend and as a former rapper I know my friends who still do it would see that in a weird way but it’s like I have allowed myself to do what I want regardless whereby before I would bothered by that.
Dealing with it
What’s really hard though that am been forced to deal with is my so called “learning disability”, I am a curious person and I want to learn about everything, I have so many creative projects am thinking of doing and business opportunities I can take advantage of.
I even have a trip around the world planned where I was planning to publish a travel journal and blog and do a lot of photography and videography work, I know how much it will cost and how I can raise the money to do so and how I can earn money from my travels too. But I can’t even finish one book without going to drastic measures and tearing the hair out of my sculpt.
So that’s where am at now, no where.
Solution
There’s all these courses and training and solutions but who knows if they really work, marketers will promise anything to make a sale these days, and if the products works by chance of the placebo 20% of sales after refunds is better than 0% right? So I can no longer afford to plan my life based on the promises of products. So it’s back to the drawing board. All I need to do is acknowledge my strengths and supplement my weaknesses with the support of other people.
Seen how my right brain sees the bigger picture excellently but struggles with the details. And left brainers see the details clearly but struggle with the bigger picture all things work together for good for those free of envy.
So I’ll deal with that, I was reading some journals of guys who have learnt multiple languages, and instruments and read books in short periods and I’ll like wow. How blessed some people are but do people appreciate they blesses, am probably guilty of the same thing too.
This stage two period has been causing major upheaval in what I call me normal mental patterns. I just started having many dreams of the past and people from my past.
The other day I dreamt of my old primary school days, I remember walking past “special class” and seen this nice girl in it, I later was to attend that class for a year. I think am dealing with the past and related issues, also the last two days I have had sex related dreams since starting stage 1 of AM5.
WET DREAMS.
The dream I had a day ago had this girl with her legs wide open, saying no to me but dripping wet, the close my peanuts (lol) got to her cookie jar the further she moved it back but I finally got in here and woke up with peanut juice in my underwear.
The dream I had this morning was kinda like the same I started rubbing this women’s cookie jar and before she was going to cum or something she told me to stay away from her the closer I tried to get.
Not sure if it about rejection or persistence, but I will say one thing its always a pleasure having sex dreams. I wonder what happens in a couple when I guy or girl has a sex dream and cums while they in the same bed. Does that turn into an argument coz it’s like subconscious cheating in a way.
Self-Acceptance
I will say one thing about this stage so far I seem to be accepting myself more and more. I don’t think maturity comes with age but I notice than the influences of peer pressure and trying to fit in are quickly disappearing.
I mean I have this poetry meet-up on the weekend and as a former rapper I know my friends who still do it would see that in a weird way but it’s like I have allowed myself to do what I want regardless whereby before I would bothered by that.
Dealing with it
What’s really hard though that am been forced to deal with is my so called “learning disability”, I am a curious person and I want to learn about everything, I have so many creative projects am thinking of doing and business opportunities I can take advantage of.
I even have a trip around the world planned where I was planning to publish a travel journal and blog and do a lot of photography and videography work, I know how much it will cost and how I can raise the money to do so and how I can earn money from my travels too. But I can’t even finish one book without going to drastic measures and tearing the hair out of my sculpt.
So that’s where am at now, no where.
Solution
There’s all these courses and training and solutions but who knows if they really work, marketers will promise anything to make a sale these days, and if the products works by chance of the placebo 20% of sales after refunds is better than 0% right? So I can no longer afford to plan my life based on the promises of products. So it’s back to the drawing board. All I need to do is acknowledge my strengths and supplement my weaknesses with the support of other people.
Seen how my right brain sees the bigger picture excellently but struggles with the details. And left brainers see the details clearly but struggle with the bigger picture all things work together for good for those free of envy.
So I’ll deal with that, I was reading some journals of guys who have learnt multiple languages, and instruments and read books in short periods and I’ll like wow. How blessed some people are but do people appreciate they blesses, am probably guilty of the same thing too.
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
